2016 Book Ranking

Last year I read 24 books, although one of them was my own.

If you’re in the mood for a fun YA mystery/fantasy go check it out. If you’ve already read it, leave a review or at least a star rating. Please and thank you!

A Study in Aether: A Baker City Mystery By Desmarais, Eric

5 Stars

  1. The Fearsome Foursome(Tales from the Haunted Mansion #1) By Arcane, Amicus
  2. Chaos Choreography (InCryptid #5) By McGuire, Seanan
  3. Late Eclipses (October Daye, #4) By McGuire, Seanan
  4. Oddly Normal Vol. 1 By Frampton, Otis
  5. An Artificial Night (October Daye, #3) By McGuire, Seanan

4 Stars

  1. Sky Road Walker By Carrière, S.M.
  2. Kiss and Tell (Veronica Mars, #2) By Thomas, Rob
  3. The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl, Volume 1: Squirrel Power By North, Ryan
  4. The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl, Volume 2: Squirrel You Know It’s True By North, Ryan
  5. Oddly Normal, Vol. 2 By Frampton, Otis
  6. Fowl Language: Welcome to Parenting By Gordon, Brian
  7. One Salt Sea (October Daye, #5) By McGuire, Seanan
  8. Dragon’s Egg By Forward, Robert L.
  9. A Local Habitation (October Daye, #2) By McGuire, Seanan
  10. The Diamond Conspiracy(Ministry of Peculiar Occurrences, #4) By Ballantine, Pip

3 Stars

  1. Heroine Complex (Heroine Complex, #1) By Kuhn, Sarah
  2. The Sleeping God (Dhulyn and Parno, #1) By Malan, Violette
  3. Death by Cliché By Defendi, Bob
  4. Marvel’s Guardians of the Galaxy – Prelude By Abnett, Dan
  5. Gameboard of the Gods (Age of X, #1) By Mead, Richelle
  6. The Hunter’s Moon (The Chronicles of Faerie, #1) By Melling, O.R.
  7. An Accidental Goddess By Baker, Megan Sybil
  8. The Shining Girls: A Novel By Beukes, Lauren

What was your favourite book of the year?

Éric

Database of the Ageless Kings (Serial Story) Part 1

Part 1: An Emu in the Cold

“For the last time, no! You’re not going away to any fancy school. You’re staying here!” Sophia’s father’s words rang in her ears as she chased Hagrid through the snow-covered fields.

“Emus are supposed to hate the cold!” she yelled at the idiot bird. The snow was up to her knees and was falling fast enough that the emu’s tracks were getting harder and harder to follow.

Of course, her father was right. Without her, who would fix the farm’s equipment and computers? They’d have to start paying for replacements and the new school, and that was ridiculous.

She was so concentrated on Hagrid’s tracks and her own thoughts that she had gotten completely lost. It wasn’t hard getting lost in a snowstorm when you couldn’t see your hands in front of your face. I wasn’t snowing that hard but the wind was strong, blowing the snow everywhere and biting through her coat.

“Fine! Freeze out here, you stupid bird!” she yelled and turned to head back the way she’d come. At least, she hoped it was the way she’d come; her tracks were gone. The world was a constantly shifting curtain of white in every direction.

She’d take two steps when she heard the tell tale grunting of Hagrid. She didn’t have many choices and decided to follow him. She caught up to him and he bobbed side to side, his head going in the opposite direction of his body. He gave another grunt and pecked at her playfully before turning around and running away again.

When she lost sight of him again he would grunt and come back to her, like he was leading her somewhere. “It better be home,” she mumbled.

It wasn’t home; it was a small cave entrance that barely fit a full-grown emu and a twelve year old girl. The cave itself wasn’t much bigger and offered so little protection from the wind that she tried to leave. Hagrid wouldn’t have any of it and pecked.

In trying to avoid another emu bruise, she fell back and hit the wall. She landed with a thump but it was followed by an odd swishing noise and a smell like old books.

Looking at the wall, Sophia found that it had opened into a doorway. There was no inner struggle; her curiosity pushed her through the door metaphorically, while Hagrid pushed her literally.

Dim lights turned on and the door closed. The smell of dust being heated came with blissfully warm air. “Where are we?” she asked Hagrid. He responded by bobbing his head excitedly and shaking his feathers.

The walls seemed to glow on their own and several colours flashed over another door. The flashes were accompanied by weird symbols. Sounds came from all around them and Hagrid ducked his head looking around.

The voice was calm and monotone, reminding Sophia of the pre-recorded voices on the subway in Toronto. She assumed the voice was giving her some sort of information and she walked towards the door. It slid into the wall with a hiss the way doors in Star Trek, or at the Timmins Square, did.

One door led to another and she walked for a good twenty minutes following the lights and unknown language. She tried a few times to enter doors that didn’t have the lights and they never opened for her. She saw plenty of corridors, but she knew she was at her destination when she walked into a room that had all sorts of knobs, buttons, and a computer screen.

The screen showed symbols, colours, and patterns she didn’t recognize. One of the screens had the solar system, another had dots that looked like her math homework, and another had shapes.

When the storm cleared, she brought Hagrid home, but every day she found her way back to the cave. Slowly over time, with the help of the computer, she learned its language. When she’d mastered the basics, she found a folder of stories. Slowly she learned to read them. They were all stories about a Prince. They described him as tall, strong, handsome, and a little awkward. Each story was different and often they contradicted themselves. Some had the Prince in intimate situations.

When she graduated high school, she was fluent in the language and had re-read the stories multiple times. She also used it to teach herself about the ship, because that’s what it was; a starship from a distant world.

As she attended the local college for automotive and computer repair, she learned about star drives and how to repair the ship. By the time she was twenty-two she was certain she’d repaired the ship to almost new. She’d had to invent or manufacture several parts, but she’d managed to fix it.

Despite her ten years of work and exploration, there was one room the ship had never let her see; the bridge. When she was confident she’d finished repairs, she forced the computer to open the door.

The bridge looked like the cockpit of a plane but was the size of a small meeting room. There were four workstations and lots of computer screens, including a view screen. She’d studied the plans before going in but there was something extra that hadn’t been in the plans.

A flat table was at the back of the room. The tablecloth on it had the Prince’s seal which made her heart beat a little faster. She went over to the table to get a better look and saw that it wasn’t a table at all, but some sort of coffin. Inside, the beautiful face of the prince looked like it was sleeping.

Putting a hand on the coffin, she wondered what had happened. A grunt and squawk from behind her made her jump, pushing on the coffin.

“Hagrid, what are you doing here?” she asked the now old, but still troublesome, emu.

Recovering from her shock, she turned back to the coffin and found the cover open and the prince sitting up. He stared at her with unseeing eyes and she did the only sensible thing and screamed. As she fell backwards onto one of the workstations, she heard the engines start.

“Oh no,” she said in the alien language she’d taught herself, “what have I done?”

2016 Movie Ranking

Hello Everyone,

Movies can be amazing or absolutely horrible. Below is the list of movies that came out this year that I saw and how I rank them. As usual, there are a lot more that I want to see.

My rankings are a combination of how much I liked the movie and if I’d be willing to rewatch it.

  1. Zootopia
  2. Moana (A by-the-numbers Hero’s Journey that hits every note perfectly. The music was fantastic.)
  3. Finding Dory
  4. Deadpool
  5. Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them
  6. Kubo and the Two Strings (A by-the-numbers Hero’s Journey that hits every note perfectly. The music was fantastic. The only reason it isn’t higher is the awkward pseudo-Japanese flavour that rings a little false without any main characters, writers, or directors being from the culture.)
  7. Ghostbusters (I really enjoyed this. So much so I saw it twice. I like it better then the original.)
  8. Star Trek Beyond (Best of the trilogy and the one that felt most like Star Trek.)
  9. The Jungle Book (Way better than the animated one with one of the best performances I’ve seen.)
  10. Hail, Caesar! (Loved this movie but I wish I had a list of movies it was referencing so I could get all the jokes.)
  11. Captain America: Civil War (This was fun, but for a movie called Captain America, it had very little Captain America. There’s a reason people call it Avengers 2.5)
  12. Doctor Strange (A solid Marvel origin story for another white, snarky, male hero. But let’s be honest, we’ve seen this movie before.)
  13. Rogue One (This was an okay movie but wasn’t all that good. Mostly just meh)
  14. X-Men: Apocalypse (So much money spent on big battles. I find I don’t really care about these movies anymore.)
  15. Suicide Squad (Trainwreck but kinda fun. I talked about it here)
  16. Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (I saw the theatrical version and it was one of the worst things I’ve seen.)

Do you disagree? Let me know what your favourite movie was.

Éric

Blush: Orgasm vs ejaculation

Image from this website.
Image from this website.
Image from this website.

I was discussing Blush: The Card Game with someone the other day, and they asked me what the difference was between ejaculation and orgasm for a person with a penis. The difference is a little more obvious when the person has a vagina – and for most people, more difficult to achieve!

Orgasm is a rhythmic series of muscular contractions that are pleasurable. Ejaculation is the release of fluid, usually at the height of orgasm.

Each can occur without the other, and intercourse can happen, and be enjoyable, without the occurrence of either.


References

http://www.sexandu.ca/sexual-activity/sexual-arousal/#tc2

Dear Dragon – Your First Trip

Dear Dragon,

As I write this, you’re a day away from going on your first vacation. Tomorrow, at an insane time, we’ll get you up and bundle you and all our luggage and head to the airport. Then we’re off to Disney and Universal with your Aunt and Grannie.

You’ll grow up travelling a little bit everywhere. It’s a perk of your Mum being a travel agent. I hope you appreciate travelling. I hope you realize how lucky you are to be able to go to all the awesome places you’ll be going.

I also hope this new phase of screeching doesn’t last too long. If it does it’ll be an interesting plane ride.

It’s mostly joyful but people can get really cranky when they fly so hopefully you’ll stick to the cuter noises.

I know you won’t remember this trip, but I hope you’ll have as much fun as we will. Someday we’ll go again and I’ll love seeing your excitement. Until then, we’ll just get hundreds of adorable pictures of you at the parks.

Your excited Papa

Results: 2017 Serial Story – You Vote, I Write

2017-serial-story

Hello My Imaginary Friends,

Last month I announced that this year’s serial story would be decided by your votes. I received 14 different voters and this year’s serial story will be:

A Science-Fiction Romance combined with a Comedy Fantasy. It will be told in the third person, will have 2 or 3 main characters who are human, must overcome some sort of Person VS Nature conflict, and there will be no time travel.

2017-serial-story

Database of the Ageless Kings

On a small emu farm in Northern-Ontario, Sophia, a twelve year old emu farmer, dreams of seeing the world. When she chases the escaped Hagrid (a particularly bad tempered emu) through a snowstorm, she gets lost and must seek shelter in a cave. However, this isn’t a normal cave but the crashed starship of the last Prince of the Galaxy.

She spends the next ten years visiting the ship, reading the royal fanfictions about the Prince, and slowly repairing the ship.

Things get interesting when, startled from finding the Prince in cryostasis, she accidentally launches the ship into hyperspace.

Look for Part 1: An Emu in the Cold, on January 17th.

Thank you for all your help,
Éric