We’re a Team (Or why my Wife does the things I don’t want to.)

My wife went to New York last week and I was hit by the realization that I no longer have the complete skills it takes to survive alone.

Ok maybe I’m exaggerating but the fact that we’ve each specialized in certain tasks becomes more and more evident every year.

This might seems confusing or odd but when your partner is willing, and good, at doing something then it’s natural to let them do it. It frees your time and energy to do other things that you’re good at instead.

In a large group, my wife will do more talking that I will, no matter what group it is. She’s much better at approaching people at events.

On the flip side if we’re in a store I will automatically take the lead and speak with the staff.

There are countless other little things, like how she remembers people’s birthdays and reminds me.

This is an interesting phenomenon and makes me wonder if a lot of failed partnerships (romantic, business, friend, etc) are due to the fact that people don’t want to give up, or take, control of the same things.

Let’s say you ran a bakery and you loved kneading the bread but hated mixing it. If your partner was ok to mix it but wanted to knead it too, you’d have to compromise or tensions would be the only things rising. (Bread puns dough not get old.)

Maybe it’s not just about what comes naturally but what you’re willing to do even when you don’t want to.

Does this form of partnering, where you let the other do the stuff their better at, cause a loss of self or opportunities for self-discovery?

In theory it’s only by failing that we learn from our mistakes but if there’s someone there to help us prevent the mistakes does that mean we’re not learning? Does letting someone else remember all the details of Lord of the Rings make me less of a fan?

Good questions to ask. I obviously have a biased view. I think that having my wife do things that she’s good at, frees me up to do things I won’t be able too. Sometimes that ends terribly, like the time I decided to try and learn metal working (our poor table). And sometimes it ends well, like the time I decided to learn how to roast and flavour my own coffee (the end product is yummy, not sure if it’ll be profitable yet).


These are the types of things I think about while roasting coffee for 10+ hours.

Is there a task that your partner (business, Romantic, etc) takes care of that you’re extremely thankful you don’t need to do?


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1 thought on “We’re a Team (Or why my Wife does the things I don’t want to.)”

  1. I’m good at everything! LOL

    If it’s cleaning or planning or organizing, I’ll be handling it. If it requires physical exertion, I pawn it off on poor Hubs haha

    That’s not true. I do the lion’s share of the housework but I do make him do some stuff, like empty out the dishwasher and dish rack, and put away the clean laundry that I have washed, dried, and folded. Lots of times it has to do with our availability. He’s home when the kids are awake, and so it’s easier to put clothes away without worrying about them waking up. Similarly, I can’t run the appliances until after 7PM so that’s when I tackle chores – he’s at work by then.

    I’ve got a more big picture view of things, so it’s natural that I would try to fit everything in when and where I can. And I do like organizing and planning and juggling. Aidan, on the other hand, loves grocery shopping and I can’t be arsed. Driving we both like, but I let him do it, for a couple of reasons: he gets car sick in the passenger seat and it makes him feel like it’s taking care of me.

    There is some stuff that it’s funny to let him do (aka building Ikea furniture) because he struggles with it, and he curses (and for me it’s easy peasy) but I never dare ask him if he wants me to do it… this is something that is important to his manhood, or something…


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