Hello My Imaginary Friends,
It’s easy to sit back and say that my burnout was because I did too much and I need to stop doing so much. Unfortunately it’s not that easy. I’ve thought about it a lot and here are my top 5 reasons for my burnout.
This sounds like a silly reason but a lot of people in my life have been having a hard time. It hurts me not to be able to help and I may get a little obsessive with worry.
It’s like my brain decides that if I worry for them it’ll help. It doesn’t. I need to see the signs and try to stop. I still care about those in my life and will try to help, but stressing out for them is useless and painful.
To a certain degree it also means trying to dissociate myself with what I read in the news.
I don’t get enough sleep. On a good weeknight I’ll get 5 hours. That’s not even close to enough for me. I feel best when I’m getting 8. Unfortunately the good weeknights are rare and due to a bad mattress, bad dreams, and being sick; I was getting maybe 4 and in sections of 1 hour at a time.
I have a much better mattress now, and I’m trying to be healthy so hopefully I’ll be getting a solid 5 hours more often.
3. Personal Days
When I was a young warthog… I would take a day off to rest and recover if I didn’t feel well. Having severe allergies meant that happened more than I’d like. Since Dragon was born I’ve stopped doing that. The reason is a combination of work issues and trying to build up a surplus in case of emergencies.
Unfortunately those days worked really well. They allowed me to rest, de-stress, and recover.
I feel like I was once the king of relaxing. Spend 12 hours reading? Easy. Play hours of videogames? No problem! Zone out while sick and watch an entire days worth of CSI? Did it.
I once watched an entire season of Star Gate SG1 in 2 days.
Now I’ll find myself five minutes into doing something and think, “I should be doing something.” It’s really frustrating that I have to actively force myself to relax.
If I don’t, I end up with a cleaner house, baked goods, and a new hobby… Which is all good but not restful.
Being tired and stressed often leads to just wanting a thing done. It means plowing through instead of trying to find a more efficient way.
That’s not good. This fall I found myself falling into that trap and instead of spending some time innovating, I spent it trying to finish everything.
Efficiency is my go-to word for 2019 (Aside: Screw you, Ford, for making me almost not use that word). The more efficient I work, the more rest and Weditor/Dragon/Pegasus snuggles I can get.
It also, unfortunately, means saying no to things that are not worth the effort even though they may be interesting.
Hopefully you can learn something from my mistakes.