Dear Dragon – Consequences Suck

Dear Sweet Dragon,

You are a fantastic kid but you’ve inherited every stubborn molecule from all sides of the family.

Our biggest struggle with you right now is how much you love your brother. That doesn’t sound too bad, except for the fact that you never stop touching, pulling, holding, squishing, hugging, or loudly singing/roaring/screaming at him.

You still don’t know your strength and he can not tell you to stop. He will occasionally make noises of annoyance but he’s not consistent enough for you to listen… even if you were inclined to listen.

So our current largest battle is getting you to respect his bodily autonomy and ask before touching him. You need to ask us, since he’s too young to reply for himself. Unfortunately, you refuse to listen or forget to remember… not sure which.

Note: Compared to hitting him or any other kind of mischief you could get into, this isn’t terrible, but it is very frustrating.

So last night you harassed him to the point of him being upset and us having had enough. We told you to not touch him or you were going to bed. Less than a minute later you saw him drooling and whipped around, grabbed his burp-cloth and wiped his face. I thought you’d hit him when I saw his head fall back but mum says he must have been surprised because you’re always gentle.

Either way, your face registered an, “Oh shit” moment and then you pretended not to notice.

We sent you to bed. You were not pleased. You cried yourself to sleep once at 9:30, then at 11:30, then at 2:30, then at 9, and finally you woke up at 10 and cried yourself into puking. Your tummy hurt so much that food was hard to handle.

This is hard on you and I hope you’ve learned to listen and respect others’ bodily autonomy, but I’m not so sure. Time will tell.

Something you might not realize right now, or even when you read this;hers’ really hard on us too. We love you and you’re a wonderful human being. Punishing you is hard.

I love you so much,

Your tired Papa

*Addendum added 2019-10-13* Okay Dragon. I didn’t go into details because I didn’t think it was relevant.

Here’s what happened when you were sent to bed.

  1. You got changed into PJs.
  2. We took you to pee and have water.
  3. We tucked you in and explained why you were going to bed early.
  4. We told you we love you.
  5. We let you try to sleep once you stopped crying.
  6. When you called for us we went up and did 3, 4, and 5 again.

We never leave you alone to cry and we refuse to force you to stop. We’ll comfort you and snuggle you but it’s okay to cry. (even if your crying almost always leads to gagging or puking.)

Top 5 Things You Shouldn’t say to Sensitive Parents

Researching parenting advice or talking about parenting is dangerous. There are many things that can cause a sensitive parent to go off. These are the top 5 things you shouldn’t say to sensitive parents.

I may be guilty of every one of these…

5. Mentioning Babies Bounce.

Having had two very wiggly and active children, I may have dropped them… a few times. Thankfully they were alright. Children are scary resilient to falls and damage in general. I have actually seen my daughter get hit by a teen on a swing and keep going without hesitating.

Not all parents appreciate the grey humour about babies bouncing and they will take it personally.

4. Calling a Teether a Chew Toy.

For some reason, parents don’t like having their children compared to pets. Unfortunately, I keep forgetting what a teether is called.

In this vein, also avoid calling the baby tethers leashes, cereal kibble, and especially avoid asking a baby, “Who’s a good baby?”

3. Talking about Sexual Health.

Somedays I wonder about the world and it’s obsession with cutesy names. It’s not a cookie, a hoohaw, a bit of string, or a weiner; and not telling kids the right name for things is absurd (It’s a penis and a vulva). I once made the mistake of correcting a young kid about the fact that they had a penis not a noodle.

Kid: Do you want to see my noodle?

Me: Sure…?

Kid: Starts to unzip pants.

Me: That’s a penis and no.

Let’s just say the parents were not too thrilled. Obviously, it’s a parent’s choice to teach their kids about their bodies, but that doesn’t mean it’s right.

You should probably also avoid talking about sex, contraceptives, and sexually transmitted diseases to sensitive parents and their kids.

The parents of the kid should talk about these things. Cough Blush Cough

2. Disagreeing on One of the Major Wars.

Parenting is a minefield of dangerous subjects and choosing a side in any of the major wars is a great way to be yelled at.

What wars?

  • Diapers: Disposable, Reusable, Diapers Service.
  • Feeding: Breast or Bottle (Even saying fed is best is controversial.)
  • Feeding: Solids vs puree; feeding the child vs baby led weaning.
  • Daycare: Daycare or home; School daycare or babysitter

The list could go on for a long time. I mostly try to stay out of it. We do our things, you do yours.

The only thing I will fight you about are Vaccines. I like my children and the immunocompromised in our society to stay alive.

1. Agreeing with the Child.

This will get you in so much trouble. It’s a favourite pastime of Aunts and Uncles.

Don’t agree with the child until you know what the parent is saying. It could be as inconspicuous as what is the best flavour of ice cream or as dangerous as Star Trek vs Star Wars.

Note that even if the child isn’t there, saying that they have a point, or trying to make the parent see that point is a dangerous idea.

The parents are bombarded by the child’s sass and near constant contrariness that they don’t want to think about it. Just leave them alone. The parent will come around in 10-20 years.


In conclusion, it’s hard to not insult, offend, or irke a sensitive parent, but if you avoid talking to them about their child, children, pets, health, schools, or generally anything but the weather… you should be safe.

Good luck,

Éric

Multi-author book launch!

Hello Book Lovers,

My book, Everdome, and plenty of other awesome books are being launched on Saturday.

Here’s the press release:


Join us Saturday October 5th at 4 PM, at 3 Brewers (240 Sparks, Ottawa) for the launch of seven extraordinary novels!

Humour, romance, sci-fi, fantasy, and reality TV? There’s something in here to please everyone!

There will be author readings, you can get your books signed, and we’ll be drawing absolutely fabulous door prizes. Plus, there will be much fun and merriment!

ACCESSIBILITY NOTE: the elevator is situated in the back of the pub. Please ask staff upon entry and they will guide you to it!

FOOD

Because of the large numbers we usually bring in, they asked us to tell our guests they will have a choice from the group menu. We went with option number one; there will be gluten-free options such as gluten-free buns or lettuce wraps, and there will also be vegan alternatives on site.

Click here to see the Facebook event! 

Watch the trailer to Everdome by Éric Desmarais!

Watch all the trailers here

About the books

Skylark by S. M. Carrière – Canadian sci-fi  

When the outermost interstellar Way Station suddenly ceases communications with Earth, Commander Skye and Team 6 are sent to investigate. They discover a new alien threat—the insectoid Ragnar, who move through space consuming resources like a virus. Humanity and daemon-kind realize they must unite in the fight to protect Earth.

Read more! | Watch the trailer! 

Everdome by Éric Desmarais – Urban fantasy  

For thirteen lucky contestants, when a man dressed as a knight offers them the opportunity to visit their favourite fantasy world as an immersive reality show, there’s only one answer they can give: YES!

The impressive realism is beyond anything they can believe and some of them start to wonder why.

Read more! | Watch the trailer! 

The Stealth Lovers by Cait Gordon – Sci-fi comedy/romance  

After submitting to mandatory conscription,

two young men begin Basic Training, or, “Vacay in Hay.”

Little do they know the bond they feel will lead them to become the venerable military pairing known as

The Stealth.

Read more! | Watch the trailer! 

A Congress of Ships by Stephen Graham King – Sci-fi   

In a desolate system on the outer edge of Pan Galactum, the skin of the universe has ruptured, tearing open a portal to an alternate reality. Witnessed only by the sentient science vessel N’Dea, a massive, battered ship falls through, housing a community of refugees fleeing an enemy that has pursued them across the cold reaches of space for decades.

But have they come alone?

Read more! | Watch the trailer! 

The Wayward Spider by John Haas – Comic fantasy   

All Spider wants is to seek his fortune as a thief. Is that too much to ask? Must be, since a break in gone wrong leaves him babysitting a powerful magic-user with sporadic control over his spells, and even less of a grip on functioning in society. And that’s just where it starts. Each misadventure takes Spider further from his goals, but he’s about to learn that sometimes we get what we need instead of what we want.

Read more! | Watch the trailer! 

RunJ Run by Su J Sokol – Psychological thriller   

Attractive, wildly unconventional, and happy in an open relationship with his partner Annie, Zak seems to embody everything missing from Jeremy’s life, but when the arrest and death of a marginalized student at the Brooklyn high school where they both teach trigger Zak’s mental breakdown and slow descent, Jeremy and Annie are compelled to cross boundaries, both external and internal, in a desperate attempt to save him.

Read more! | Watch the trailer! 

Love and Lemonade by Jamieson Wolf – LGBT   

Blaine and his friends haven’t always been lucky in love. They’ve stumbled throughout lust, hoping to find their hearts desire, or at least a good lay. They have made their way through life, stumbling a few times, and have finally found their way to comfort and acceptance…Or have they? There are all kinds of love in the world and Blaine and his friends will have to find the love that works for them.

Read more! | Watch the trailer! 


Hope to see you there,

Éric

Seren Plentyn and the Secret of Hokulua Station – Chapter 9


Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 4.5 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10


Chapter 9: Research, Reveals, and Reactions.

The screen sat there blinking, “Hello.” 

The three of them looked at each other and eventually it was Seren who said, “Hello.” They all watched the screen waiting for something to happen.

Nothing did and Jan asked, “How does it know our language?” The others shrugged and they added, “It even has the same configuration as our keyboards.” They point to the old-fashioned looking keyboard in front of the screen.

Feeling silly, Seren said, “Maybe it’s not voice activated?” She typed in, “Hello”.

They once again looked at the screen, this time their text appeared under the first hello and the screen replied with, “It has been 3,920,002 planetary rotations since your last session. Welcome back.”

“Assuming the same amount of days in a year that’s just shy of ten thousand seven hundred and forty years.” Annie thought that number sounded familiar as she said it, but couldn’t place it.

“Would you like to continue with your last session?” The screen’s green text blinked.

Seren looked at the other two and typed, “Yes.”

What appeared next was an interactive, multimedia document that showed the creation of a micro-star. It was absolutely fascinating. Seren had always assumed that the stars were created by compressing the planet or moon until it was so dense it self-combusted. She was completely wrong. The process involved taking a small piece of a micro-stars plasma and introducing it into the planet. Over the next year the piece grew and expanded, eating the planet from the inside and finally bursting through the crust to become a viable micro-star for space travel.

“Ten thousand years. The Great Techo-Mage! This is where they got all their information.”

“That means that this is the birth place of our civilisation,” Jan sat back and rubbed their face absently.

“Do you know anything about the Children of the Stars?” Seren typed.

“Each micro-star is a unique part of the parent and therefore equivalent to a child.” 

“That’s not helpful,” quipped Annie.

Seren tried something different, “What are you?”

“I am the Mother of Stars. Born from the collective of my people.” The screen changed again to a long text with images and information about the original inhabitants of this planet. They’d been very similar to Seren and the other Children but instead of taking to space they discovered a way to save their minds into a giant supercomputer. They developed alloys that could self-heal and an army of sentient robots to protect it. They hollowed out their own planet and installed a micro-star.

When they uploaded themselves, they discovered that the micro-star was sentient. All suns were sentient. Over time and interfacing they learned from each other and in the end the consciousness of the people merged with that of the star becoming something else completely.

This new entity made it it’s goal to teach others how to speak with and become stars.

“But what happened? Why did it stop?” Jan asked.

“According to this it got stuck in the void between galaxies. Something to do with a gravity well,” Seren did some more typing. 

“So Hokulua was just coming home to tell mum what was going on?” Annie sounded sad.

The screen flicked and moved quickly as Seren typed question after question. Finally she said, “Oh Mother… We did this.”

“What?” the other two said at once.

“The Great Techno-Mage did this. They trapped the Mother so she couldn’t tell anyone else and then took all the information and a plasma sample. All the technology our civilization is built on is from here and we hid it.” Seren felt sick at the idea.

“But why did the micro-stars not come back before Hokulua?” Annie asked.

From behind them someone cleared their throat. The man was tall and thin, his dark cloak and robe sparkled like the stars. His eyes were cold and distant, his sneer and disgust weren’t. “Because the Mother wants to teach everyone to be like her. We can’t let the other tribes and the pirates have the same technology as us.”

“Why not?” Annie stood defiantly in front of their ship’s Techno-Mage.

“We were almost wiped out. There were less than a thousand of us on half a dozen crumbling stations. We were the first to escape our dying planet but we were not meant for space. We were dying and if the others had the same technology, we’d be no better than we were. Our first mission as Techno-Mages was to protect the Children.”

“That was ten thousand years ago. We’re spread out over the entire universe. There are billions of us with powerful stations and… surely we can let the Mother go.” Seren felt disgusted. Her love of archeology was born from a civilization that used it to enslave. Their whole way of life was based on stealing and exploiting.

“We’ve spent ten thousand years trying to make sure the micro-stars stay quiet, subdued, and controllable. We hadn’t anticipated that the new AI would allow the stars to communicate. Once the Mother analyzes the data from the station it will know what we’ve done and it will be furious. It must be contained or destroyed. And now… so must you.”

Read Next Chapter


While you wait for the next chapter, check out previous serial stories:

Recommendation Tuesday – Thésaurus Tea

Hello lovers of warm drinks,

This year at Ottawa Comiccon there was an awesome tea vender, who is based in Montreal. We bought some fantastic Sailor Venus tea that Jen loves.

Since then, we’ve tried a half dozen more of their teas and they’re amazing. They have a great selection of fandom tea.

Bonus; they are also selling an advent calendar.

Go check out their site and get some tea for those that don’t want to drink coffee all the time.

Later days,

Éric

Dear Dragon – Welcome to Level 3

Dear little Dragon,

You’ve grown so much in every way possible. Today you turn 3. The last year has been absolutely amazing to watch. You’ve learned so much.

Since your last birthday you:

  • have learned to speak in full sentences;
  • learned to jump (but not land softly);
  • learned your numbers (mostly);
  • learned to dance;
  • gained a little brother;
  • started going on the potty;
  • played a tabletop RPG with us;
  • and I’m sure there’s more.

It feels like each year of your life we’ve taken a trip. This year we went to Stratford, Ontario for Katie and Mike’s wedding. Everyone loved you there and you really didn’t want to leave. You danced all night and made Katie and Mike really happy. It was your first long car ride and you did great.

You also went to your first Opinicon, the Coderre family reunion held every 5 years, you absolutely loved it. You said hi to everyone, played with your cousins and had a great time. In 5 years you’ll love it even more.

It was another year of conventions that you both helped prepare and are starting to help sell at. You went to Can-Con, Comic Con Holiday Edition, Ottawa Comic Con, and Geek Market. Your Mum and I love that you can hang out with us and help for 8+ hours a day at conventions.

I both love and fear your strength of emotions. When you’re feeling a strong emotion, everyone knows and it’s just like I was at your age. Thankfully you always swing back to happy quickly.

This year Baby Pegasus joined the party and you’ve been fantastic with him. He adores you, choosing to follow you more than anyone else (with his eyes… I can hear you saying, “He doesn’t walk yet.”) he smiles at you and you can calm him. You are a little too affectionate but you’re learning.

You are strong willed, clever, passionate, loving, curious, and you make everyone smile. You frustrate me with your procrastination and your stubborn streak but you also make me proud, every day.

The year coming has so many exciting things and I look forward to sharing them with you.

Happy Birthday Little Dragon and welcome to Level 3!

Papa

Everdome Book Launch

Hello My Imaginary Friends,

Come celebrate the launch of my newest book Everdome!

The launch will be held October 5th, from 4 to 6 at 3Brewers on Sparks.

There will be readings from Everdome and the other six books being launched.

Join us for the launch of six extraordinary novels! Humour, romance, sci-fi, fantasy, and reality TV? There’s something in here to please everyone!

There will be author readings, you can get your books signed, and we’ll be drawing door prizes. Plus, there will be much fun and merriment!

ACCESSIBILITY NOTE: the elevator is situated in the back of the pub. Please ask staff upon entry and they will guide you to it!

FOOD: Because of the large numbers we usually bring in, they asked us to tell our guests they will have a choice from the group menu. We went with option number one; there will be gluten-free options such as gluten-free buns or lettuce wraps, and there will also be vegan alternatives on site.

Hope to see you all there!

Éric

Last Chance to Vote

Hello Again,

This Saturday is the last day to put in your votes for the Aurora awards. If you’ve been meaning to, please go and vote before it’s too late.

Go to https://prixaurorawards.ca/ and click on the “Become a Member” button. Once you’ve paid you’ll be able to vote. Don’t forget to download your voters package.

Please consider both The Sign of Faust and The Travelling TARDIS in your votes.

The Sign of Faust

The Sign of Faust is available at Amazon and Renaissance Press.

Elizabeth Coderre solves mysteries. Magic, wizards, and killer kittens didn’t stop her last semester. Now someone is trying to kill her in absurdly complicated ways, she’s hearing voices, her best friends are constantly fighting despite being madly in love, and the desires of Baker City’s residents are becoming reality. Can she find out who’s trying to kill her and discover the source of everyone’s luck, while navigating dating, concerts, school, and competing in the science Olympics? She can only wish… and you know what they say about wishes!

The Travelling TARDIS

The Travelling TARDIS moves, with the power of timey-yarney crochet, through time and space visiting and taking pictures with cosplayers, landmarks, celebrities, and cute babies.

This will be my last reminder.

Hope you’ve read and enjoyed the books from this year’s package.

Thank you,

Éric

I’m Back

Hello My Imaginary Friends,

I’m back!

Now if I did my job right, you won’t have noticed I was gone. I took a mini parental leave from the blog for July and August. I pre-wrote a bunch of stuff and got some amazing guest posts. Thank you Jamieson, Jonas, and Lindsay.

I had hoped to spend the time resting and chilling with the new Baby Pegasus. I definitely succeeded there. I also watched a lot of TV (Stranger Things season 3 was awesome, Killjoys season 3 not so much, and Supergirl season 4 was impressively written.) Oh and I got a little writing done…

In other news my new ghost writer isn’t much more productive then the last one.

Hope you’re all doing well.

Later Days,

Éric