I can’t remember if I’ve done this

Hello My Imaginary Friends,

I’m Bisexual… I have no idea if I’ve ever officially come out. It’s not something I talk about a lot unless I see Jason Momoa…

I’ve been attracted to all genders for as long as I can remember. The few same sex relationships I saw I could never understand why people made a big deal about. It wasn’t until I got older and people started to use Gay as a slur that I realized I wasn’t the norm. I didn’t have a word for what I was until university when I met other people in the LGBTQ+ community.

It wasn’t a positive interaction. I was told I was just confused and couldn’t choose a side. That I should come back if I decided to be gay. (Yep, a gay man actually told me that.) It wasn’t until I met some really good friends in my mid twenties that I realized I wasn’t just confused. Then I saw Jack Harkness on Doctor Who and it was great to see a character like me.

All that to say, if I hadn’t told you… I’m bisexual and to me that means I can be attracted to anyone, regardless of their gender.

For pride month, the wonderful Cait Gordon wrote an awesome tweet about me:

For #PrideMonth, I want to shout out some awesome books and authors. @EricDesmarais‘ YA series is based in a town called Baker’s City with Elizabeth Coderre solving paranormal mysteries in a Sherlock-esque sort of way! Book 2, Sign of Faust is an Aurora Award nominee! #AmReading pic.twitter.com/E6fX5368Dw— Cait Gordon 👽🍰♿️ (@CaitGAuthor) June 11, 2019

Thanks Cait!

And to everyone out there still trying to understand themselves, you’ll get there and there are people like you out there. Be brave and find friends who support you.

Later Days,

Éric

Blush: Invisible Pride

June is Pride Month, and rainbow flags are everywhere. That’s awesome, and a good first step. But I’d like to talk about the people who are invisible in pride.

Image by Laura Williams.

The bisexuals, whether they are single or in hetero relationships. You are welcome.

The trans individuals in hetero relationships. You are welcome.

The intersex people. You are welcome.

The ace- and aro-spec. You are welcome.

If you count yourself under the +, you are welcome.

We shouldn’t be policing who can celebrate pride. Everyone LGBTQQIPP2SAAADG+ has the right to celebrate, and it’s none of our business which box they fit into.


If you’re enjoying the Blush blogs, consider learning more with Blush: The Card Game from Renaissance Press.

Love in Lost Places – Proof-of-Concept

People told me that weird things happen in Baker City, Ontario, but I never really believed them until my second year at Baker City University.

“Just text her already,” Simon said, pushing the scrap of paper towards me over our hand me down IKEA dining room table. He tilted his head and smirked mischievously before passing his hands through his short cropped reddish brown hair. His dark skin was speckled with the most adorable freckles that mirrored the colour of his eyes.

“That’s impersonal. Shouldn’t I call?” I was stalling and we both knew it; nobody just called.

“Dude? Seriously. I go through all this trouble to get you the number of the only girl you’ve had a crush on since first semester and you won’t text her?”

He wasn’t wrong. She was in most of my classes and was one of those people who attracted the eye. She wore lots of colour, especially in her hair, and everything she did or said was the most important thing imaginable.

He also wasn’t right. She wasn’t the only crush I’ve had, but I don’t think he’d figured out that I liked him.

Taking my phone, he typed in the number and sent a text. “Hi Zoey”

We both sat staring at my phone waiting for a reply. It came faster than I expected. “I DON’T HAVE ANY FERRETS!”

Simon and I looked at each other confused and I picked up the phone to say, “It’s Harry… We have Can-Lit together.” I pressed send and then quickly added, “Just wanted to say hi… and I think I’m allergic to ferrets.”

“Oh Harry… Blond guy who wears a lot of plaid?”

“That’s me”

“Sorry about that. Someone keeps texting me about ferrets. It’s bloody annoying.”

I wasn’t sure what to say to that. My first instinct was to apologize for bothering her. While I hesitated, Simon grabbed my phone and wrote, “I was wondering if you’d like to go out for coffee sometime?”

“Sure, Meet at Café Nation on Bank at 4?”

“Great. See you there.” I shoved my phone into the pocket of my jeans to avoid Simon adding anything.

It was already three fifteen so after a high five from Simon I rushed to take a shower. As I got out of the shower I put on a fresh pair of jeans and my favourite red and gray plaid shirt. I ran out of the apartment convinced I’d be late.

I was a block away from Café Nation when I realized I’d left my phone in my other pants. I walked into the Café and saw the big coffee bean shaped clock read five to four. I wasn’t late, I was actually early. I took a few deep breaths to calm myself. The smell combination of chocolate cake and brewing coffee helped soothe me a little and I sat down to wait.

Five minutes after four she came in, her hair was fuchsia this week, and walked right by me. She was wearing a dark blue skirt with constellations on it and a white sweater. I stood up and walked behind her and said, “Hey Zoey. Can I buy you a coffee?”

Looking back at me startled, her brow furrowed, she opened her mouth to say something and paused. Finally her posture relaxed and she smiled. “Harry right? Sorry, I didn’t recognize you right away. I’ve been just so frazzled by this ferret thing. I’m so glad Simon gave you my number.”

We spent the next half hour chatting and having a great time. Around fifteen to five Zoey looked at her phone and said, “I have to call my mom. Something’s going on.” She stood up and walked to the front of the café. I took the opportunity to go to the washroom.

As I came out of the washroom Zoey was nowhere to be seen. I chatted with the barista as I waited. When she finally came back she’d tied her pink hair into a pony tail and changed her sweater.

“How’s your mom?” I asked.

“She’s okay. She just needed to talk it out. Sorry about flaking out on you. How about we go to dinner? I’ve had enough coffee today.”

That night when I finally got back to my phone I had an email from Zoey saying, “I had a nice time. Sorry I disappeared but my mom needed my help urgently. We should do this again sometime. Next time’s my treat.”

I also had a text from her earlier that day saying, “My mom’s freaking out be there soon.”

This all seems perfectly normal right? Boy crushes on roommate, oblivious roommate hooks boy up with girl; a typical twenty something romantic comedy.

Well, here’s where it get’s weird…

Simon typed in the wrong number, putting a one instead of a seven at the end. What are the chances of two women, going to the same university, were both called Zoey with a penchant for bright colours? I don’t know, but this is how I accidentally dated two women who had never met and were almost identical.

Blush: Pride

Blush’s kickstarter is doing well, but we still have a long way to go, and about two weeks left! Please keep harassing your friends and family, and add neighbours into the mix! Let’s make this game a reality!

Pride flag. Image from i.telegraph.co.uk
Pride flag. Image from i.telegraph.co.uk

Algonquin College, my school, has their Pride Week this week. I had the opportunity to attend a workshop yesterday afternoon, given by the fantastic people at Venus Envy Ottawa (Facebook, Twitter), on Bi/Pan/Poly relationships. The speakers were very well educated and gave thoughtful and insightful answers to all our questions. I thoroughly enjoyed myself and learned a lot.

This is what Pride means to me. As an Ally, I sometimes feel adjacent to what the Pride movement stands for. I loved the inclusiveness that taking part in something as minor as a workshop gave to me. On top of feeling as though I belonged, I was able to learn more about how to respect people in those relationships previously mentioned, and how to break through the myths surrounding the stereotypes.

Pride Week, to an Ally like me, is about education on different types of relationships and sexualities. It is about showing support and respect to everyone. It is about welcoming other human beings and accepting them for who they are.

Thank you for such a great workshop. I definitely won’t forget it!

Algonquin’s Pride Week will continue today and tomorrow, and has various workshops free to the public. Check out their calendar of events here.