Stargirl – WMR

How This WorksRead Other Reviews

Hello Cinephiles,

Today we’re talking about the 2020 film Stargirl.

Story

I fell like a dictionary of bad tropes gained sentience and wrote this movie. It at times tries too hard to be deep, quirky, and G rated edgy.

This is the kind of story that suburban people think happens in a small town.

If I were in my early teens I might have enjoyed this more but only because I didn’t understand the overdone and trite themes and naratives.

Score: 0

Characters

There’s a lot of tropes not many characters. The boring white guy who’s scared of being different, the manic pixie dreamgirl, the wise black mentor, the too busy to pay attention single mom, the ethnic best friend, the caring yet aloof teacher, the friend who’s pudgy and eats a lot, and the dead father.

There are tiny moments where the characters are permitted to not just play a bad caricature but it’s fleeting.

The actors do what they can with what they have but there’s just not enough in the script. The main white dude is creepy, stalkerish, and just plain boring. The MPDG is literally turned into a magic legend that saves the town. I spent the first 40 minutes wondering if he was going to kill her or if she was going to kill them.

Score: 0

Dialogue

The MPDG wins a speech competition by taking off her shoes and giving an impassioned speech about how our society only reacts because it’s so fast. It’s the kind of thing an Anti-vaxxer would write on Facebook after reading too much Shelley, Byron, and Wordsworth; while missing their points completely.

The rest of the movie’s dialogue alternates between awkward, false sounding, teen speak, and pseudo-spiritual bullshit.

Score: 0

Visuals and Music

Because nothing happens in this town and it’s all super boring, the entire movie, except for scenes with Stargirl and the ending, are brown filtered. It makes it visuals boring. Combined with an attempt at edgy documentary-style handheld filming, it makes the audience want to look away.

The music was cute and almost made me want to care.

Score: 0.5

Fun

As someone who enjoys musicals, dance movies, teen drama, and pseudo-mystical stories… this was so watered down and stereotyped that I wonder if it was written by a bot that had watched a thousand hours of teen dramas.

Score: 0

Overall

This is the kind of story and movie that is lauded by critics for it’s non-conformity because it’s cute and non-threatening. In 2020, we should be beyond this disturbingly white, cis, male and passively racist, homophobic, and sexist narratives aimed at children.

Final Score: 0.5 Star

Baby It’s Cold Outside

Hello My Imaginary Friends,

The song Baby It’s Cold Outside is downright creepy in modern days. I’m going to give the song the benefit of the doubt and assume it was written as a cute flirty song for the Holidays.

Recently the signer and songwriter duo Lydia Liza and Josiah Lemanski re-wrote the song to be less creepy and all about consent. As much as I applaud their enthusiasm, as a tool to teach consent it’s great, but it’s both a little awkward and really pushy as a message. That pushiness losses the original cute flirty feel of the song.

cold

With small changes, the song can be fun without being creepy. The first thing to do is change who’s saying what. The structure of the song has a person who wants to leave and another who doesn’t want them to leave. It’s called a Mouse and Wolf Structure.

Switch the lines so that the Mouse is the Wolf and you suddenly have a much flirty-er song.

Original

Mouse: I really can’t stay
Wolf: Baby it’s cold outside
Mouse: I’ve got to go away
Wolf: Baby it’s cold out there
Mouse: This evening has been
Wolf: Been hoping that you’d drop in
Mouse: So very nice
Wolf: I’ll hold your hands, they’re just like ice

My Edit

Mouse: You really can’t stay
Wolf: Baby it’s cold outside
Mouse: You’ve got to go away
Wolf: Baby it’s cold out there
Mouse: This evening has been
Wolf: Been hoping that I’d drop in?
Mouse: So very nice
Wolf: I’ll hold your hands, they’re just like ice

It’s a little pushy but not as creepy since it comes off as the Wolf not wanting the leave and the Mouse teasing them about it. Lines like the below go from “I’m trying to escape” to teasing.

Original

Mouse: My mother will start to worry
Wolf: Beautiful, what’s your hurry?

My Edit

Mouse: Your mother will start to worry
Wolf: Beautiful, what’s your hurry?

Besides the slight reversal of roles I’d also add a line after, “What’s in this drink” that says, “Marshmallows, you’re driving.” and change Cigarettes to Episodes.

 

What do you think? Would this make the song fun again without feeling dirty or should we just retire this one as a holiday song?

Éric