Dear Dragon – I’m Sorry

Hello Dragon,

You’re half way here. Right now you’re swimming around in your mother as if you were a fish. I can’t feel you move yet, but she does, and it somehow makes you more real.

Dragon19-weeks02

We found out that you’re going to be a girl. At least, your sex designation at birth will be girl.

I have never doubted that I wanted to have you; even when you were a small probability in the far future. I always wanted you. That doesn’t mean I haven’t worried about bringing you into this world.

We (humans) as a race are capable of such horrible things. I will tell you it’s because of fear, insecurity, or sickness, but sometimes it just seems inexplicable. Nothing in all of history has killed more humans than humans themselves. When we don’t attack each other physically, we do it with our minds and words. The world is filled with people who want to make themselves feel better by bringing someone down.

I’m sorry for everything you will have to go through because of other people. Every parent wants to protect their child and hopes these things won’t happen.

There is good in this world though. There is beauty. (and ice cream!) For every terrible thing in this world that humans have created, there is something beautiful. They don’t balance themselves out, but the beauty can help. Music, art, literature, architecture, and science can help you recover. Life is not easy and as a girl it’ll be a little harder.

There are two things I want you to remember. The first is that there’s always hope, as long and you can find the beauty in the world. I will never have to look far for it, as long as I have you and your mother. You are my hope.

The second thing I want you to remember is something I will repeat over and over. Your mother and I love you and we’ll always be there for you when you need it. Life isn’t always fair, humans aren’t always kind, and you will have terrible days; but we will ALWAYS be there for you; even if it’s only in these letters.

Enjoy swimming around and try to stop kicking that nerve that makes your mother uncomfortable.

I love you, Baby Dragon,

Your worried Father

Dear Dragon – Secret 1

Hello Dragon,

Most parents call their unborn children things like peanut, or monkey. Your mother and I are not most people. Your parents are weird. We’re just as likely to get excited about Disney princesses as you are, we’re always saying quotes from movies and books, and we love games.

Ultrasound picture.
Aren’t they cute?

You’re now -181 days, and I don’t think your existence has fully sunk in. I’m not quite sure what I’m in for and that’s the first secret I have to tell you.

Despite what I’ll say, I do not know everything. I’m not perfect and I’ll make mistakes. Hopefully by the time you realize it, it won’t shatter your trust or belief in me.

I may not be perfect but I will try my best to take care of you and no matter what I’ll always love you.

If I have one hope for you, it’s that you’re never afraid to confide in me or your mother. We want nothing but the best for you, no matter what that ends up being.

I love you Baby Dragon,
Your nervouscited Father