I will be at Can-Con this weekend, barring delivery obviously, and you can buy your copy of Blush there for the first time ever!! I am ridiculously excited to hold it in my hands!
I have been reticent to talk about the concept of virginity for many reasons, the dominant one being because of how much of it comes down to opinion. I try very hard to keep my opinions out of these Q&A Blush posts, and it’s never easy.
Where did the concept of virginity come from?
Originally, the term came from Greek goddesses Artemis and Hestia. They were unmarried goddesses, and labelled as “virgin” because they were strong and independent women, and capable of resisting the temptations of Dionysus – the god of seduction and wine. Virgin was a word of power.
Unfortunately, in the medieval ages, the term was turned into what we automatically assume today – a virgin as a heterosexual person with a vagina who has not had sexual intercourse with a person with a penis. Tests of chastity were performed, which looked for such things as an unbroken hymen. Please read my post about hymens from last September here. Not only are some people born without a hymen, but they degrade over time.
Something to consider, for the medieval ages – they married at a much younger age than by today’s standards, so it is possible that the hymen had not degraded fully at the time of marriage. But can you imagine if such a test were performed now?
The common definition today is someone who has not been penetrated or penetrated another sexually. It is important to remember that virginity is a social construct and has no physical or biological effects or definition.
How does one lose one’s virginity?
Let me repeat that virginity is a social construct, and therefore not a stable fact. The way to lose your virginity depends on your definition of virginity.
At the risk of being pedantic, the better question is “Why does it matter if you’ve had sex?” This is a question you need to decide for yourself (or with the help of a medical professional, therapist, or religious leader).
Again, there is no physical, chemical, or biological basis or effect from having penetrative sex.
Whether you and your partner are “virgins” or not, it is extremely important that you are tested for STIs (there are many ways to contract STIs that do not involve sex) and it’s important you use protection.