The Ridiculous Adventures of Felix Felicis – Part Five

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“Mister Felicis. Did you think getting rid of the scar on your face would be enough to fool me?” It must have been a rhetorical question because the oversized gangster continued to mumble at them, “I am greatly disappointed in the manner you chose to repay our friendship.”

“I’m not sure wh…” Felix tried to say but the other man cut him off.

“I don’t want to hear your honeyed excuses. Give me the diamond and I’ll spare your little girlfriend’s life.”

Again Felix was going to try and defend himself, but Miss Eris put her hand on his shoulder.

“I am sorry for the inconvenience we will cause you in the past sir. Was there something special about this diamond?” Miss Eris sounded calm and logical, something that soothed Felix’s frayed nerves. That was as long as he didn’t pay any attention to what she was saying.

It had been a bad birthday for Felix and he felt almost ready to give up. His apartment had been blown up, his family harassed by dinosaurs and a cyborg ape, and now he was lost in time being interrogated by mobsters. At least it couldn’t get any worse he thought.

“You have strained my patience and I believe it’s time to make an example of you,” The large man waved a sausage fingered hand and the goons pointed their guns menacingly.

“Wait, Wait,” Felix was about ready to give in and ask them to shoot him when he had an idea. “What does this diamond look like?”

Miss Eris and the mob boss looked at him as if he’d gone completely insane.

“It was the size of my fist and left to me from my grandmother. Perfect in every way,” The man replied.

“Your grandmother was perfect?” Felix asked incredulously.

“No, the diamond, you fool,” the man gestured to the goons and said, “shoot them already.”

Miss Eris grabbed his hand as the men opened fire and he felt a hot flash of pain on his face.

Once again the world went fuzzy and changed views quickly. He put his hand up to his face and it was bleeding a little. “They shot me. I’ve been shot.”

“It appears that way.” Miss Eris pulled a tissue from her pocket and dabbed at the wound. She pulled a little piece of paper and rubbed it on his face. It stung but stopped the pain. “This explains the scar.”

Someone cleared their throat. They were standing in the middle of a field between two armies. The armies were dressed in leather armour, one side held a banner of a dragon and the other of a snake. Standing beside them with weapons draw were two men who could be father and son.

The two men started yelling at them angrily in a language he didn’t recognize. “What are they saying?” he asked Miss Eris.

“I think they’re speaking Welsh,” she replied.

“and?” he asked

“I don’t speak Welsh.”

“Don’t you have a universal translator? Or something.” The two men were looking angry and had turned to point their rather nasty looking swords at them.

“Maybe we should leave.” he suggested.

“I think that might be prudent.”

Again the world went blurry, his stomach turned, and they were somewhere else.

“Ah you have arrived,” said a man with an Italian accent. His long white beard and intelligent eyes were instantly recognizable.

“Leonardo da Vinci?” Exclaimed Felix.

“Yes it is me. Do you have the diamond?” da Vinci wasn’t wearing traditional clothing, instead he wore what looked like a flight suit.

The floor shook and Felix took a few extra minutes to savour the confusion that had become his life before he accepted that they were no longer on earth but in some sort of space craft.

“No,” Felix said lamely.

Putting his hand on a button on the consol, da Vinci said, “Al, they’ve arrived but they don’t have the diamond. We need more time. Tell Tesla to stop showboating and start taking this seriously we need more time.” Turning to them he said, “I’m kinda busy right now. How about you go get that diamond and we can save humanity from the Sauren threat?”

Miss Eris grabbed his hand again and they shifted in time and space leaving behind da Vinci to continue the space dogfight.

Read Part 6