You still hate sleeping but you’re getting better at falling asleep… sometimes.
You are growing so fast in every way possible. Last week I watched you learn how to climb off the couch safely and Sunday you took your first shuffling steps. Just two little steps but they were steps. You’ll be running around soon enough.
I’ve been at work for over a month and I miss you a lot. It’s hard not being with you and watching you grow every day. I know I see you when I get home but it’s not the same.
I miss you and someday I hope I’ll be able to work from home permanently and see you every day. (You’ll probably be going to school by then.)
I miss seeing your smile when you wake up in the morning. I hope you never lose that easy smile, even if it’s just with family and close friends. Your joy is infectious and even when you’re being mischievous it makes us so happy.
You’re almost nine months old. I’ve gone back to work and I’m missing you terribly.
Over the past nine months, you’ve been to a lot of activities and conventions. Throughout those events you’ve been absolutely wonderful. During the events, you make all the other parents jealous with how cute, easy going, and friendly you are.
The only downside to bringing you to conventions and other events is how it seems to really drain you. So many people and so many things to look at has you completely overstimulated for a few days after. You get ridiculously clingy and a little grumpy. It’s like having people around you all the time for a few days and then not having anyone, makes you worry that you’re alone.
It makes me really happy that we can share all these things with you. I’m excited and envious of you growing up in the Ottawa geek and writer’s communities. I hope you continue to enjoy them as you grow older.
On a different subject, GO TO SLEEP! Sigh. You used to hate going to sleep but once you were asleep you were good. Now, you seem to have issues with staying asleep. I’m hoping its only because of your teeth. You’re teething pretty hard right now and I know it hurts.
Have you ever gotten to the point where you’re so busy, or your to-do list is so long, that you feel like you’re drowning? Well I’m almost there. The ocean of stuff is turbulent and I’m barely dog paddling. All of it is made worse by lack of sleep and this stupid, unending cold.
I’m starting to realize I might have taken on too much too quickly this year and certain things have been suffering because of it. Mostly my writing, or lack thereof, and other creative endeavours like FADDS.
What am I going to do about it? I’m going to get as much done of what I have already promised and try to stop taking on more projects. Both publishers I work with are going to settle down into a slower routine and after Ottawa Comic Con, conventions will slow down too.
All that said, I’m going to try and take a week off to relax after OCC. Maybe play Skyrim with the little Dragon.
I have a lot of coffee to roast and not much time so I’ll see you later.
By reading this blog, I’m sure you noticed I’m a rather optimistic kind of person. I tend to assume the best of people and believe hope is important.
That being said I have my cynical moments. Last night as we were getting the little Dragon to sleep, I came to the realization that there are two kinds of cynical. When things don’t go your way or go badly, you can fall on two extremes of cynicism; Conspiracy or Stupidity.
Let’s say, for examples sake only, that your baby doesn’t seem to be going to sleep (just an example, I swear…). If your cynicism leans towards conspiracy, you’ll assume that the baby is trying to stop you from sleeping. Possibly for some sort of nefarious plan where she steals all your energy.
This is the extreme that you see a lot of with big businesses or with government. They’re all out to get us/me/you! It makes us feel special, because someone wants to get us, and makes us feel like there is purpose in the world.
This is absolute opposite side of cynicism. Instead of assuming the baby is trying to stop you from sleeping, you assume the baby has no idea what it’s doing and has no sinister motives. It’s just a baby that hasn’t developed enough to realize that it’s time to sleep and that you haven’t abandoned her in a crib for ever.
This is the harder form of cynicism. It assumes chaos and it assumes you have nothing to do with what happened. Humans tend to assume everything that happens around us is about us; we are a self-absorbed race. It is freeing to realize that everyone is just blundering about trying to get to their goals.
I’m trying my best to be hopeful and grotesquely optimistic, but the times I am cynical I lean towards the second option. I’ve worked in government, retail, big business, tourism, etc (seriously, I’ve done a lot) and one thing I’ve noticed is how, as a society, we are extremely hard to organize. It’s always more likely to be incompetence or stupidity rather then maliciousness. (That’s Hanlon’s Razor)
We went to Geek Market this weekend and it was a lot of fun. It’s an incredibly well run event with some of the nicest staff and volunteers. Sales were ok for us, but nowhere near what I’d expected. We still made our table and got to hang out with Renaissance Press and all the other awesome people who were there.
Two highlights of the weekend are the Blush Kickstarter making its first stretch goal and my awesome wife winning the Fantasy Short Story Scholarship contest. She worked really hard on both Blush and the story, and I couldn’t be more proud.
Between Geek Market and all the other things I’ve been working on, I was completely and utterly exhausted last night. I should have easily fallen asleep… My brain had other ideas.
As I lay awake until 1 or 2 in the morning (I stopped checking at 12:30), my brain kept running an idea for a Webcomic through my head. Over and over, I kept thinking of what it could be and the story and the tone. Sigh.
Suffice it to say, I was even more exhausted this morning. I still couldn’t get the idea out of my head. So I spent this morning writing it out. I’ll pitch it to a friend who’s interested in drawing more and we’ll see what happens. I mean I really don’t have enough to do.
I don’t want to spoil anything and the comic would be a collaboration so things will change, but I can give you the working title: “Joust a Windmill”.
What sort of things does your brain keep you up with?
Did you know that not getting enough sleep can decrease your ability to think and reason? It can worsen depression, increase the chance of heart disease or diabetes, and it can even cause you to gain weight.
I get an average of 4ish hours of sleep on weeknights and maybe 8 on weekends if I’m lucky. This isn’t uninterrupted sleep. I get up for multiple reasons. If my wife didn’t swear I don’t snore much and I never wake up fighting for breath, I’d think I have sleep-apnea.
So why am I having so much trouble? I made a mistake a little over nine years ago. I bought a mattress that was too soft. This might not seem like a bad thing, everyone likes softness. It wasn’t bad at the beginning but over time it’s gotten much worse.
I noticed the second year we had the mattress that I had trouble sleeping more than 9 hours. (I vaguely remember when I wasn’t busy and 9 hours was a short sleep on weekends) I’d wake up with aches and pains and still feeling tired.
I assumed it was all due to allergies, being overweight, or those wonderful bodily changes you experience in your mid-twenties. I kept assuming it was these issues. When I’d go on vacation I’d assume I slept well because I was exhausted from the day and not think twice about it. It took my wife complaining about aches and pains and having trouble sleeping for me to realize it was the bed.
So why did it take me years to figure out? One reason, the bed is freaking comfortable. When you climb into it, it hugs you and life is amazing. It takes at least a few hours before you start to feel like you’re being contorted by maniacal fluffy-cloud demons.
My wife and I finally bit the bullet and decided to buy a new bed when one of our favourite stores had a sale. We decided on a mattress that was right in the middle between firm and soft and we bought one that was half off but higher quality than our old one. The old mattress is also sagging in odd and uncomfortable ways so I don’t feel bad replacing it.
It’ll be delivered in 2-3 weeks and I hope it helps me feel better rested. If not, I’ll speak with my doctor.
I’m neck deep in a new novel set in a psychiatric institute for people with Parasomnia. So far it’s a lot of fun to write. I’m still working on the concept for my Vlog. Testing things out, playing with the equipment, and being a total chicken. On top of my weekly Modern RPG that I’m running.
Still no word about the book I submitted. Hopefully before March.
Something that’s been draining a lot of time and energy from me lately is being sick. I spent a few days last week, completely dead. To top that off both my wife and I are starting to feel colds. Hopefully they’ll go away, or we’re nuts, or both.
On their Facebook Page, Silver Stag Entertainment asked for suggestion for movies. In case you want to do a psychological analysis of my mind (Please don’t, that way leads to madness.) here’s what I suggested: