Trolls – JenEric Movie Review

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Hello Cinephiles,

Today we’re talking about the 2016 movie Trolls.

Story

The basic concept for this movie is that the Trolls are being hunted as food by Bergens. The unreliable narrator tells us that it’s the only way the Bergens can experience happiness. This is a dark concept that had me extremely interested. It’s probably the best part of the movie.

The theme of happiness runs throughout the movie with the inevitable, “Happy was inside you the whole time,” ending.

The humour is fun when they go a little psychedelic, but mostly relies on fat jokes, fart jokes, and a super awkward romance.

The film’s message ends up falling flat in it’s complete disregard for diversity and blatant misunderstanding of depression and trauma.

Score: 0 (I can’t believe anyone sober could approve this script.)

Characters

Ripped straight from an 80’s high school drama, these characters manage to have less depth than the dolls they’re based off.

Sad geek/loner/weirdo pines for beautiful/vapid/popular girl. His entire journey is to realize it’s okay to be happy. He’s finally accepted when he changes colours and starts to sing, effectively conforming to the group.

The king Bergen and scullery maid love story is so shallow they need four separate romance tropes to prop it up.

Score: 0

Dialogue

Overall the dialogue is pretty bland. A lot of, “Be Happy,” and the music is mostly used as reinforcement of the themes.

Forgettable overall.

Score: 0

Visuals

The visuals are pretty decent, even though they looked ripped from Little Big Planet and Kirby. They’re used to great effect to show the contrast and texture of this horror world, where there’s always a bigger fish to summon.

Score: 0.5

Fun

At the ten minute mark after the 3rd fart joke, I started to get worried.

The movie was fun when it concentrated on the contrast between joy and horror, but mostly I found myself wishing I was watching the new Cats movie instead.

Score: 0.5

Conclusion

This movie is offensive, awkward, and downright boring. Save yourself the pain and watch something else.

Final Score: 1 Star

Trolls, Broflakes, and Troglodytes… Oh My!

Hello My Imaginary Friends,

The internet is a vile cesspool of intolerance, sexism, racism, hate, and many other horrible things. I’ve come to accept that in an almost Zen like fashion. (Except flat-earthers and anti-vaxxers; they still incite red hot rage.)

Once you accept that there are hateful people everywhere and that they seem to flock to the internet’s comment section, or Nazi Alt-Right politics; you can start feeling joy in their pseudo-righteous anger.

the-comments-section

**IMPORTANT** Some people are not beyond reason. There are some that are genuinely ignorant of the issue or misinformed.

This Sunday, the BBC announced Jodie Whittaker as The 13th Doctor. My first reaction was excitement that my daughter would be able to grow up with a Doctor that looked like her. My second was pure joy at the anger and frustration the internet’s comment sections would have. I may have cackled…

When the same feces-maelstrom erupted over John Boyega being a storm trooper, I was angry and frustrated and lost hope in humanity. Now I’ve seen the Ghostbusters hate, the Gunslinger hate, the Rey can’t be a Jedi hate, the Wrinkle in Time hate, the Wonder Woman hate… Etc Etc etc.

Humanity has some shining examples and some terrible troglodytes; I’ve accepted that.

Now down to business:

Dear Troglodytes,

Since Doctor Who has been utterly ruined a woman Doctor, violated beyond measure and so on… I in my infinite generosity will gladly help you dispose of your Doctor Who memorabilia. I won’t even charge you for the time and mental anguish of association with that horribly defiled pile of stuff.

Sincerely,
A Real Fan.

P.S. If you need help with your Star Trek items, I’ll make the same sacrifice.

Later Days,

Éric

Being Hateful

Hello My Imaginary Friends,

Sometimes I forget my rule of not commenting on mean comments.

Someone commented on an ad for the Goat Story Mug on facebook and posted a video about how it was hipster crap.

I was mildly offended seeing as I’m really enjoying my mug. Yes, it’s a little hipster but it also really useful for a klutz like me. I’ve dropped more than my share of coffee cups with disastrous effects. I’ve dropped the Goat Mug several times now and it hasn’t even leaked. That’s pretty damn good for something that cost $25.

So of course the original poster’s reaction was to attack me and then his friend joined in. I think overall they called me fat, stupid, and compared me to a tv character I don’t know. It still hurt, despite being pretty lame. I was tempted to go all Cyrano on them but decided it was a bad idea.

If you really want to read it, it’s here. (Please don’t comment to defend me. They’re not worth it.)

Trolls
It’s brought two things to mind. I wish Facebook had a way to declare that someone stole a photo. But more importantly it reminded me that it’s easy to hate.

Hate is easy

I’m just as guilty as anyone else of making a comment about Nickleback or something else that’s easy to hate.

It’s fun to pick on something and feel superior. It’s an easy joke and an easy boost to our self-worth. It’s also hurtful and mean.

It’s a great way to cover insecurities or fear.

Orlando

I don’t think I can talk about hate or fear this week without mentioning the Orlando Massacre.

It happened because of hate and hatefulness. Some say it’s a hate crime against the LGBTQ community and others say it’s a Terrorist attack against the US. It’s both. It’s also the act of a deeply deranged person who was filled with hate.

See, here’s the problem with hate, it eats at you and makes you the worst version of yourself. You hate and that makes you angry. The anger makes you hateful which makes those around you angry with or against you; either way it fuels the anger.

It’s easy to be angry and hateful. Much easier than trying to understand the loss, hurt, or pain. It’s easier to be consumed by hate than to be destroyed by sorrow.

Events like this are an opportunity for us to go towards hate or towards understanding. The true antithesis of hate is knowledge. When you can understand someone, you can at the very least feel some compassion.

When someone is being hateful and mean, it’s important to understand that it has more to do with them then it does you. That means that a lot of the hate you need to ignore. Get a hug from a friend or talk it out with someone who cares about you. 90% of the hate you won’t be able to change.

If it’s something you feel is important, however, then you need to talk about it. Know who you’re talking to and remember that not everyone is worth your time. Sometimes it’s better to cut the hate out of your life.

 

Take care,

Éric