2.5 Stars

Mystery on Mistletoe Lane – JenEric Movie Review

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Hello Cinephiles,

Today we’re talking about the 2023 film Mystery on Mistletoe Lane.

Story

The story had a nice combination of treasure hunt, mystery, and romance. It was a little predictable but in a good way.

Score: 0.5

Characters

The characters felt bland, and despite the actors being really good in other shows, the acting felt forced.

Score: 0

Dialogue

Most of the dialogue wasn’t very memorable but there were some nice sappy moments.

Score: 0.5

Visuals and Music

The visuals are competent and show they were filmed quickly.

The music was okay but not memorable.

Score: 0.5

Fun

The movie was okay but not very memorable. Everyone liked it enough and the treasure hunt kept us engaged, but mostly it was just okay.

Score: 1

Overall

Unmemorable and very bland. If you like mysteries, you’ll guess all the twists in advance.

Final Score: 2.5 Stars out of 5

Odd Thomas – JenEric Movie Review

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Hello Cinephiles,

Today we’re talking about the 2016 film Odd Thomas.

Story

The screenwriters took all the fatphobia, misogyny, and ableism and removed it. They also took the overall slow story and made it feel fast paced. Unfortunately, all the polishing doesn’t help a mediocre attempt at a supernatural thriller.

Score: 0.5

Characters

The characters are made more human in this than in the book and that’s probably because of the actors and the cleaning up of the relations between characters.

Special shout out to Anton Yelchin who turned one of the least likeable characters into someone I’d want to read and watch. Also Addison Timlin who made Stormy into more than a cookie cutter manic pixie dreamgirl.

They still feel like outdated cardboard cutouts instead of real characters.

Score: 0.5

Dialogue

The dialogue is pompous, dated, and awkward. In the books, it was terrible, but in the movie it worked to build a sort of stylistic surrealism to the whole movie.

Score: 0.5

Visuals and Music

The digital effects look dated but everything that’s practical looks great. The cinematography and weird blue filter makes for a good match to the dialogue’s surrealism.

The music was okay. It did its job but was extremely predictable and a little dull.

Score: 0.5

Fun

I liked the movie and might even rewatch it. I watched it alone after hate-binging the novel. I don’t think the kids or the family would have enjoyed it. As a supernatural movie it was good. As an adaptation, it was better than the novel.

Score: 0.5

Overall

An amazing adaptation of a mediocre book. Anton Yelchin and Addison Timlin infuse personality and emotion into bland, borderline unlikable characters. Unfortunately, no clever writing or acting can save a tired plotline.

Final Score: 2.5 Stars out of 5

Elio – JenEric Movie Review

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Hello Cinephiles,

Today we’re talking about the 2025 film Elio.

Story

This story has been told before from The Last Starfighter to Spirited Away the odd/special/trauma kid getting sucked into another world isn’t all that original. This is probably the first Pixar movie not to make me cry at some point. It’s cute and has a good message but it’s been done.

Score: 0

Characters

I was Elio at his age (without the dead parents) and I felt for him. He was well written and his arc was believable. I also really liked Glordon. The Communiverse felt like a lot of bumbling academics rather than diplomats.

My big problem was with the Grigon. I feel like they wasted time with him on gags instead of showing us his inner turmoil about his son. It would have made his turn at the end much more powerful if we’d seen into his head more.

I’m not even going to touch the ethics and horror at the whole concept of the clones.

I did appreciate the cameo of Kate Mulgrew and the archival audio of Carl Sagan.

Score: 0.5

Dialogue

The dialogue had a lot of sweet, funny, and silly moments. It was pretty good but felt very young. There was a lot of technology and ideas thrown out but no discussion about them beyond gags. Maybe after the critics said Lightyear was too advanced, they went way too simple on this one.

I did like the recurring gag of, “Goodbye. I love you.”

Score: 0.5

Visuals and Music

The visuals were stunning, but felt like they were the point of the movie. Like everything was built on the visuals instead of the emotion or story.

The music was amazing. I particularly liked that the Hylurgian’s had battle chants. That made them more terrifying and likeable at the same time.

Score: 1

Fun

This was a fun movie. Lots of cringe but still a really nice movie. The kids loved it and the rest of the family liked it.

Definitely not a movie I’ll be wanting to rewatch.

Score: 0.5

Overall

This movie is cute and works as a young kid’s first sci-fi but it’s not original and doesn’t have the emotional depths I’ve come to expect from Pixar.

Final Score: 2.5 Stars out of 5

Princess of Thieves – JenEric Movie Review

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Hello Cinephiles,

Today we’re talking about the 2001 film Princess of Thieves.

Story

The story feels like a mid 1990’s feelgood made for TV movie. It’s slightly silly and it refuses to let its main character do much.

Score: 0

Characters

The main love pair are a lot of fun when they’re together. The rest of the cast is much too good for the material.

I am severely annoyed that they talked her up as being an expert archer, rider, and swordsman but she only seemed able to shoot. She needed saving far too often. They’d never have written the character in the same way had it been a boy.

Score: 0.5

Dialogue

Some lines could be iconic, others are just bad. It has a lot of, “But daddy!” energy that could have been way more annoying with another actor.

Score: 0.5

Visuals and Music

The visuals are pretty good, it shows that they filmed on location. The camera work is steady and well done, if very 90’s in style.

The music is a great match to the Disney Robin Hood and later versions. It’s heroic and fun.

Score: 1

Fun

This is the kind of movie that I expect is someone’s childhood favourite. It has all the elements to be great but needs the imagination of a child to put it together in a more coherent way.

Score: 0.5

Overall

A fun period movie that is bound to be someone’s favourite but that can’t decide what it wants to be. The acting and locations are excellent, but the rest is a little meh.

Final Score: 2.5 Stars out of 5

Fountain of Youth – JenEric Movie Review

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Hello Cinephiles,

Today we’re talking about the 2025 film Fountain of Youth.

Story

As entertaining as the movie was, there wasn’t so much a story as a bunch of set pieces held together by banter.

Score: 0

Characters

The major problem with saying your characters are super-intelligent is that they then have to act it. These characters missed obvious things and acted smart when the plot demanded it.

Now that being said, the actors took some mediocre scenes and elevated them. Every last one of them oozes with charisma and charm.

Score: 0.5

Dialogue

Intelligent people don’t have to use big words. With intelligence comes the ability to be concise.

The majority of the dialogue was good and the brother-sister banter was fantastic.

Score: 0.5

Visuals and Music

This movie was stunning. The special effects, choreography, and camera work were superb.

The music was clever, incorporating the small theme in both the plot and the music was a genius idea.

Score: 1

Fun

I and the rest of the family really enjoyed this movie. It was pretty, exciting, and had some good banter. I dislike the ending enough to make me annoyed every time I think about it.

Score: 0.5

Overall

Unoriginal with one of the worst endings I’ve ever seen, the movie is fun and fluffy with the actors making it extremely likeable but the supernatural and the plot were poorly thought out.

Final Score: 2.5 Stars out of 5

Titan A.E. – JenEric Movie Review

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Hello Cinephiles,

Today we’re talking about the 2000 film Titan A.E.

Story

The premise is interesting, but the story is just another take on Treasure Island. The world building and character arcs are interesting, but the end felt a little forced.

Score: 0.5

Characters

Loved the security chief and astrophysicist. The rest were meh. Nice redemption arc for the captain.

Score: 0.5

Dialogue

The dialogue is painfully bad. Too much exposition and whining. Not to mention the love story dialogue was extremely awkward, and I don’t mean in a good way.

Score: 0

Visuals and Music

The animation was finished by multiple companies and it shows in their quality. The ships are amazing, the people are passable, but some of the locations look like they never got rendered. The planet Bob at the end looked like an bonus feature scene.

The soundtrack was nostalgic for me and filled with awesome music. The non-pop music was good.

Score: 0.5

Fun

Despite its flaws, it kept everyone on the edge of their seats. The kids liked it and so did the adults.

Score: 1

Overall

An ambitious film that pushed the boundaries of animation, unfortunately its flaws in dialogue and wildly fluctuating quality of animation hurts the film. If you really want to watch Treasure Island in space, rewatch Treasure Planet instead.

Final Score: 2.5 Stars out of 5

Barely Lethal – JenEric Movie Review

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Hello Cinephiles,

Today we’re talking about the 2015 film Barely Lethal.

Story

The story was clever and had some good ideas, but as a comedy it took itself too seriously.

Score: 0

Characters

It felt like the actors all got different direction. Most of the teens acted like they were in a fish out of water comedy. Samuel Jackson seemed to think he was in a spy parody, while the mom and brother were in a Disney movie. It was very discordant in tone. The dad and teacher were the worst acted, like characters from a cringe 90’s shock comedy. (Spoiler warning: their edginess was just sexism and homophobia.)

Score: 0.5

Dialogue

The dialogue was over the top and not all that funny. There were some great lines from the main character and her adoptive sister. I didn’t like that the fight between the two spies ended up with catty insults about their looks and weight. Again, the dad of the love interest and the teacher were just the worst.

Score: 0.5

Visuals and Music

The movie was well shot; the action scenes were believable and fun. The clothes and visual gags were nice.

The music was nice and did a good job with the mood.

Score: 1

Fun

I really got into the movie, despite the weird changes in tone. It was okay and most of the family liked it.

Score: 0.5

Overall

A movie that is trying a little too hard to be a spy/comedy and not really hitting the mark with either one. There are moments that are truly entertaining and the main actors are great, but the weird choices in dialogue and story just bring it down.

Final Score: 2.5 Stars out of 5

Quest for Camelot – JenEric Movie Review

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Hello Cinephiles,

Today we’re talking about the 1998 film Quest for Camelot.

Story

It’s a basic quest story with the main character being completely oblivious and helpless most of the movie.

Score: 0

Characters

It’s nice to see a blind character who is self sufficiant and isn’t looking for a cure. It would have been better if he didn’t think his disability made him a monster.

The rest of the cast is mostly odd comic releif, a villain that didn’t sound right.

There was a princess character and she was the most disapointing. She was shown to be super compitant in the begining and by the time the villains attacked she was useless. I would have liked to see her actually do something.

Score: 0.5

Dialogue

There are a few funny lines but most of the humour is really dated. The vilain was menacing but not particularly interesting in his dialogue.

Score: 0.5

Visuals and Music

The animation was choppy and rough. It looked cheap and there were some consistency issues.

The music was good. Nothing stood out but it did it’s job.

Score: 0.5

Fun

This was okay. The kids kinda liked it and the adults kinda liked it. Not going to be a movie we rewatch very often.

Score: 0.5

Overall

This was an interesting concept that failed it’s celebrity cast and potential.

Final Score: 2 Stars out of 5

The Age of Tony (The Last Train to Christmas)

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Hello Cinephiles,

Today we’re talking about the 2021 film The Age of Tony (The Last Train to Christmas).

Story

The story was fascinating and well set up, however the ending wasn’t great. They tried to find a middle ground between sappy Christmas movie and real life grit. It didn’t work at all.

Score: 0.5

Characters

Like most Christmas Carol style stories, the main character was a complete ass at the beginning and grows as the story moves along. The main problem with the likability of the rest of the cast is that we have no idea what happened to them, or if they even exist.

Score: 0.5

Dialogue

Excellent and wonderfully played. I was confused as to why every member of the family had different accents but maybe that’s a British thing.

Score: 0.5

Visuals and Music

The filmmakers did an amazing job at matching the style of cinematography from each decade.

The same can be said about the music, and although it was a little overdone at times, it was well done.

Score: 1

Fun

The ending kills any fun there was in the movie. It’s sentimental in all the wrong ways and I haven’t been as pissed off about an ending since the director’s cut of The Butterfly Effect (not that the cinema ending was any better).

All the adults agreed that the ending was terrible and the kids didn’t like any part of it.

Score: 0

Overall

This is a Christmas movie for those who don’t like joyful movies. It’s depressing and has one of the worst endings I’ve been forced to experience. The acting, music, and cinematography are fantastic, but they don’t save the film from being overly sad and downright horrifying if you think about it too hard.

Final Score: 2.5 Stars out of 5

The Christmas Charade – JenEric Movie Review

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Hello Cinephiles,

Today we’re talking about the 2024 film The Christmas Charade.

Story

A flavourless take on spy movies with absolutely nothing new to add.

Score: 0

Characters

Together, the main actors have great banter, and all the supporting cast are fantastic, but apart or talking spy stuff, it’s bad.

Score: 0.5

Dialogue

Romance and Christmas dialogue is excellent, but the cop or spy dialogue is terrible.

Score: 0.5

Visuals and Music

The movie is obviously low budget but visually they do a great job with what they have. A few sets look ridiculous but overall pretty good, and the cinematography is decent.

The music is a nice combination of the two genres and does a great job.

Score: 1

Fun

Most of the movie had me shaking my head at how bad it was but the chemistry and banter between the leads was fun. The rest of the family felt pretty much the same. I could actually see the large thought bubble over my wife’s head that said, “I could write this better.”

Score: 0.5

Overall

This movie is only entertaining on the charisma and chemistry of its stars. Anyone who enjoys spies will be disappointed, anyone who enjoys Christmas romance will see it once and forget about it.

Final Score: 2.5 Stars out of 5