2.5 Stars

Princess of Thieves – JenEric Movie Review

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Hello Cinephiles,

Today we’re talking about the 2001 film Princess of Thieves.

Story

The story feels like a mid 1990’s feelgood made for TV movie. It’s slightly silly and it refuses to let its main character do much.

Score: 0

Characters

The main love pair are a lot of fun when they’re together. The rest of the cast is much too good for the material.

I am severely annoyed that they talked her up as being an expert archer, rider, and swordsman but she only seemed able to shoot. She needed saving far too often. They’d never have written the character in the same way had it been a boy.

Score: 0.5

Dialogue

Some lines could be iconic, others are just bad. It has a lot of, “But daddy!” energy that could have been way more annoying with another actor.

Score: 0.5

Visuals and Music

The visuals are pretty good, it shows that they filmed on location. The camera work is steady and well done, if very 90’s in style.

The music is a great match to the Disney Robin Hood and later versions. It’s heroic and fun.

Score: 1

Fun

This is the kind of movie that I expect is someone’s childhood favourite. It has all the elements to be great but needs the imagination of a child to put it together in a more coherent way.

Score: 0.5

Overall

A fun period movie that is bound to be someone’s favourite but that can’t decide what it wants to be. The acting and locations are excellent, but the rest is a little meh.

Final Score: 2.5 Stars out of 5

Fountain of Youth – JenEric Movie Review

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Hello Cinephiles,

Today we’re talking about the 2025 film Fountain of Youth.

Story

As entertaining as the movie was, there wasn’t so much a story as a bunch of set pieces held together by banter.

Score: 0

Characters

The major problem with saying your characters are super-intelligent is that they then have to act it. These characters missed obvious things and acted smart when the plot demanded it.

Now that being said, the actors took some mediocre scenes and elevated them. Every last one of them oozes with charisma and charm.

Score: 0.5

Dialogue

Intelligent people don’t have to use big words. With intelligence comes the ability to be concise.

The majority of the dialogue was good and the brother-sister banter was fantastic.

Score: 0.5

Visuals and Music

This movie was stunning. The special effects, choreography, and camera work were superb.

The music was clever, incorporating the small theme in both the plot and the music was a genius idea.

Score: 1

Fun

I and the rest of the family really enjoyed this movie. It was pretty, exciting, and had some good banter. I dislike the ending enough to make me annoyed every time I think about it.

Score: 0.5

Overall

Unoriginal with one of the worst endings I’ve ever seen, the movie is fun and fluffy with the actors making it extremely likeable but the supernatural and the plot were poorly thought out.

Final Score: 2.5 Stars out of 5

Titan A.E. – JenEric Movie Review

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Hello Cinephiles,

Today we’re talking about the 2000 film Titan A.E.

Story

The premise is interesting, but the story is just another take on Treasure Island. The world building and character arcs are interesting, but the end felt a little forced.

Score: 0.5

Characters

Loved the security chief and astrophysicist. The rest were meh. Nice redemption arc for the captain.

Score: 0.5

Dialogue

The dialogue is painfully bad. Too much exposition and whining. Not to mention the love story dialogue was extremely awkward, and I don’t mean in a good way.

Score: 0

Visuals and Music

The animation was finished by multiple companies and it shows in their quality. The ships are amazing, the people are passable, but some of the locations look like they never got rendered. The planet Bob at the end looked like an bonus feature scene.

The soundtrack was nostalgic for me and filled with awesome music. The non-pop music was good.

Score: 0.5

Fun

Despite its flaws, it kept everyone on the edge of their seats. The kids liked it and so did the adults.

Score: 1

Overall

An ambitious film that pushed the boundaries of animation, unfortunately its flaws in dialogue and wildly fluctuating quality of animation hurts the film. If you really want to watch Treasure Island in space, rewatch Treasure Planet instead.

Final Score: 2.5 Stars out of 5

Barely Lethal – JenEric Movie Review

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Hello Cinephiles,

Today we’re talking about the 2015 film Barely Lethal.

Story

The story was clever and had some good ideas, but as a comedy it took itself too seriously.

Score: 0

Characters

It felt like the actors all got different direction. Most of the teens acted like they were in a fish out of water comedy. Samuel Jackson seemed to think he was in a spy parody, while the mom and brother were in a Disney movie. It was very discordant in tone. The dad and teacher were the worst acted, like characters from a cringe 90’s shock comedy. (Spoiler warning: their edginess was just sexism and homophobia.)

Score: 0.5

Dialogue

The dialogue was over the top and not all that funny. There were some great lines from the main character and her adoptive sister. I didn’t like that the fight between the two spies ended up with catty insults about their looks and weight. Again, the dad of the love interest and the teacher were just the worst.

Score: 0.5

Visuals and Music

The movie was well shot; the action scenes were believable and fun. The clothes and visual gags were nice.

The music was nice and did a good job with the mood.

Score: 1

Fun

I really got into the movie, despite the weird changes in tone. It was okay and most of the family liked it.

Score: 0.5

Overall

A movie that is trying a little too hard to be a spy/comedy and not really hitting the mark with either one. There are moments that are truly entertaining and the main actors are great, but the weird choices in dialogue and story just bring it down.

Final Score: 2.5 Stars out of 5

Quest for Camelot – JenEric Movie Review

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Hello Cinephiles,

Today we’re talking about the 1998 film Quest for Camelot.

Story

It’s a basic quest story with the main character being completely oblivious and helpless most of the movie.

Score: 0

Characters

It’s nice to see a blind character who is self sufficiant and isn’t looking for a cure. It would have been better if he didn’t think his disability made him a monster.

The rest of the cast is mostly odd comic releif, a villain that didn’t sound right.

There was a princess character and she was the most disapointing. She was shown to be super compitant in the begining and by the time the villains attacked she was useless. I would have liked to see her actually do something.

Score: 0.5

Dialogue

There are a few funny lines but most of the humour is really dated. The vilain was menacing but not particularly interesting in his dialogue.

Score: 0.5

Visuals and Music

The animation was choppy and rough. It looked cheap and there were some consistency issues.

The music was good. Nothing stood out but it did it’s job.

Score: 0.5

Fun

This was okay. The kids kinda liked it and the adults kinda liked it. Not going to be a movie we rewatch very often.

Score: 0.5

Overall

This was an interesting concept that failed it’s celebrity cast and potential.

Final Score: 2 Stars out of 5

The Age of Tony (The Last Train to Christmas)

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Hello Cinephiles,

Today we’re talking about the 2021 film The Age of Tony (The Last Train to Christmas).

Story

The story was fascinating and well set up, however the ending wasn’t great. They tried to find a middle ground between sappy Christmas movie and real life grit. It didn’t work at all.

Score: 0.5

Characters

Like most Christmas Carol style stories, the main character was a complete ass at the beginning and grows as the story moves along. The main problem with the likability of the rest of the cast is that we have no idea what happened to them, or if they even exist.

Score: 0.5

Dialogue

Excellent and wonderfully played. I was confused as to why every member of the family had different accents but maybe that’s a British thing.

Score: 0.5

Visuals and Music

The filmmakers did an amazing job at matching the style of cinematography from each decade.

The same can be said about the music, and although it was a little overdone at times, it was well done.

Score: 1

Fun

The ending kills any fun there was in the movie. It’s sentimental in all the wrong ways and I haven’t been as pissed off about an ending since the director’s cut of The Butterfly Effect (not that the cinema ending was any better).

All the adults agreed that the ending was terrible and the kids didn’t like any part of it.

Score: 0

Overall

This is a Christmas movie for those who don’t like joyful movies. It’s depressing and has one of the worst endings I’ve been forced to experience. The acting, music, and cinematography are fantastic, but they don’t save the film from being overly sad and downright horrifying if you think about it too hard.

Final Score: 2.5 Stars out of 5

The Christmas Charade – JenEric Movie Review

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Hello Cinephiles,

Today we’re talking about the 2024 film The Christmas Charade.

Story

A flavourless take on spy movies with absolutely nothing new to add.

Score: 0

Characters

Together, the main actors have great banter, and all the supporting cast are fantastic, but apart or talking spy stuff, it’s bad.

Score: 0.5

Dialogue

Romance and Christmas dialogue is excellent, but the cop or spy dialogue is terrible.

Score: 0.5

Visuals and Music

The movie is obviously low budget but visually they do a great job with what they have. A few sets look ridiculous but overall pretty good, and the cinematography is decent.

The music is a nice combination of the two genres and does a great job.

Score: 1

Fun

Most of the movie had me shaking my head at how bad it was but the chemistry and banter between the leads was fun. The rest of the family felt pretty much the same. I could actually see the large thought bubble over my wife’s head that said, “I could write this better.”

Score: 0.5

Overall

This movie is only entertaining on the charisma and chemistry of its stars. Anyone who enjoys spies will be disappointed, anyone who enjoys Christmas romance will see it once and forget about it.

Final Score: 2.5 Stars out of 5

The Muppets (2011) – JenEric Movie Review

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Hello Cinephiles,

Today we’re talking about the 2011 film The Muppets.

Story

It’s a complete rehash of other Muppet stories, and the attempt to insert family and romantic drama comes off as both distraction and annoyance.

Score: 0

Characters

The human characters are only there to give the audience a proxy and their main character traits are meh. I loved Amy Adams and she managed to pull of the ridiculous character and make it believable.

The Muppets themselves felt like caricatures of the original movie. It felt like they were ignoring everything except the first show and movie.

The cameos were fantastic however and the villain was fun.

Score: 0.5

Dialogue

There were some great moments and gags but the dialogue was burdened by over explaining. It’s like the film makers thought people would get confused.

Score: 0.5

Visuals and Music

The camera work was good and the dance routines were fun.

The music was great and definitely one of my favourite parts.

Score: 1

Fun

I love the Muppets and although this wasn’t them at their best, it was fun. The kids didn’t laugh much but they were glued to the screen.

Score: 0.5

Overall

An interesting attempt at writing the Muppets that relies too much on nostalgia and doesn’t offer much new for the audience.

Final Score: 2.5 Stars out of 5

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull – JenEric Movie Review

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Hello Cinephiles,

Today we’re talking about the 2008 film Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.

Story

There are things about this story that work better than the others and some that just don’t work as well. The soviets as villains don’t have the same feel as the Nazis. Aliens just doesn’t work as well as supernatural artifacts. Frankly, the whole “ancient aliens” thing is an insult to human ingenuity and progress.

Score: 0

Characters

The older, more relaxed, Indiana is a joy to watch. It’s great to see Marion again and Ox is brilliant.

Mutt and the villains aren’t all that fun to watch and are treated as plot devices instead of characters.

Score: 0.5

Dialogue

They seemed to want to recapture the dialogue that worked so well between Indiana and his father, but Mutt is a little too young and innocent for it to work.

Indiana has some amazing lines and the banter between him and Marion is excellent.

Score: 0.5

Visuals and Music

Despite my memory telling me there were some terrible green screen issues with the movie, I didn’t see them this viewing. The locations are great and special effects are okay. The large action set pieces are fantastic as usual.

The music was amazing.

Score: 1

Fun

I don’t like Mutt. He feels like a bad set up to replace Indiana Jones. (Mutt Jones and the…. sounds terrible.) I also feel like the soviet scientist was underdeveloped and kinda boring. They should have brought back short-round.

And all that isn’t talking about the random use of the skull’s magnetism. It didn’t stick to the metal car, it attracted coins, and at times did nothing.

Score: 0.5

Overall

The movie suffers not from the protagonist’s age, but from the studios awkward attempts to create a spin-off character. Beside that and the bland villains, the movie has some very fun Indiana Jones style action pieces.

Final Score: 2.5 Stars out of 5

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom  – JenEric Movie Review

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Hello Cinephiles,

Today we’re talking about the 1984 film Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.

Story

This felt like less of a story and more like a bunch of set pieces strung together. I’m sensing a theme that Indy has very little agency in his own movies. The hidden cultist plot crosses over into blatent racism.

Score: 0

Characters

This was Indiana Jones in his element. He spoke the language and knew the history. It was nice to see him seem intelligent. Short round was adorable and Willie was loud. I liked the relationship and emotion between Indy and Short Round.

The rest of the cast was a weird combination of Bond rejects and random cultural clichés thrown at the screen.

Score: 0.5

Dialogue

The dialogue runs from absolutely ridiculous to quippy and fun. Not much is actually deep or meaningful.

Score: 0.5

Visuals and Music

Other than a few abuses of blue screen, it really paid off for them to film on location. Absolutely gorgeous scenery. The action set peices are a little over the top, but that makes them fun.

A lot of the music from the first is reused but remixed wonderfully. The darker tones of the temple scenes are well done.

Score: 1

Fun

I enjoyed the movie for nostalgia and because it’s a fun romp. The cultural nonsense is weird and led an entire generation to think that Indian food included chilled monkey brains and live eels.

What the hell was up with the Voodoo doll? That’s not Indian but West African. I think they’d have been better off saying it was a British demon cult.

The kids liked it but said it was scary. (Probably didn’t appreciate the constant pausing for me to rant.)

Score: 0.5

Overall

With elements that made the first one a great movie, this one fails to do anything but string together some impressive action scenes and wildly insulting cultural fabrications.

Final Score: 2.5 Stars out of 5