Test Kitchen: Mooseballs, Brownies, and Assassins (oh, my!)

Back in 2022, we created a few recipes based on Assassins! Accidental Matchmakers. We posted about it and linked to an article.

This article ran in All Lit Up‘s Test Kitchen blog that has since been discontinued and taken down.

Fear not! We’ve rescued it from the bowels of the internet and here it is:


Jen and Éric Desmarais are the husband-and-wife writing team behind the new adult series The Gates of Westmeath and its first book,  Assassins! Accidental Matchmakers (Renaissance Press). They’re also dynamos in the kitchen; check out their recipes for two dishes found in the book: stuffed mooseballs and a chocolate and chili brownie. Is it lunchtime yet?

When writing about the restaurant Amontillado in Assassins! Accidental Matchmakers, we wanted a place that was both trendy and had amazing food. The kind of place both Bruce Wayne and Clark Kent would feel comfortable. Somewhere that had the atmosphere of a party, but the sophistication of haute-cuisine.

The food itself needed to be elevated but also diverse. We wanted something that reflected the city of Westmeath, but also our main characters’ personalities and love of food.

Stuffed Mooseballs

A picture of Jen and Eric’s stuffed mooseballs. They shine invitingly on the place, with a bit of wild rice and a sprig of parsley for garnish on the side.

The food was a fusion of Aboriginal, North American Italian, and Creole cuisines. […] Kennedy ordered, with Jason’s guidance, the Stuffed Mooseballs, which were moose meatballs in a primavera sauce stuffed with mushrooms and mozzarella.

‘This is amazing,’ Kennedy said, after trying both dishes.

–p211, Assassins! Accidental Matchmakers

Stuffed mooseballs is a variation of an exploding meatball that Éric had developed for an all-day marathon of Good Omens a few years ago. He adapted it to have more of an Aboriginal and creole flavour profile and it turned out pretty well. We’re fairly sure that Alice (the Amontillado executive chef) would be appalled by our presentation, but it was delicious.

Ingredients

Meatball

  • 500g ground moose or venison (extra lean ground beef is okay too)
  • 150g ground pork or bacon
  • 1 egg
  • 1 cup bread crumbs
  • 1/4 cup parsley, chopped
  • 3 cloves garlic, minced
  • 1/4 cup chives or green onion stems
  • 1/4 teaspoon cayenne
  • 1/2 teaspoon celery salt
  • 1/2 teaspoon smoky paprika
  • 1 cup mushrooms, chopped finely
  • 1 cup mozzarella cheese, grated

Primavera Sauce

  • 1 tablespoon butter
  • 2/3 cup chicken broth
  • 1/2 cup heavy whipping cream (or half and half)
  • 1/4 cup mozzarella cheese, grated
  • 2 tablespoons maple syrup
  • Smoked salt and pepper to taste
  • 1/2 tablespoon mint, chopped
  • 1/8 teaspoon allspice

Instructions

Make the meatballs

  1. Combine ground moose, ground pork, egg, bread crumbs, parsley, garlic, chives, cayenne, celery salt, and paprika in a large bowl. Don’t overwork.
  2. Mix mushrooms and mozzarella together.
  3. Take 1 tablespoon of mushroom and mozzarella mix and wrap a quarter cup of meat mixture around it.
  4. Place on a greased baking sheet.
  5. Cook in a preheated oven at 400 degrees Fahrenheit for 30 minutes.

Make the primavera sauce

  1. Add butter, chicken broth, and cream to a pan.
  2. Bring to a simmer and stir in cheese.
  3. Season with salt, pepper, mint, and allspice.

Assemble

  1. Toss meatballs and primavera sauce with pasta or serve with a side of plain wild rice.

Makes 12 balls.

Chocolate Chili Brownie

The chocolate and chili brownie was an idea that came to Éric when he was enjoying some dark chocolate he’d gotten for Christmas. The recipe is a simple brownie with real chocolate, but he added some allspice and chilies to spice things up.

 A towering chocolate chilli brownie is pictured. It looks absolutely delicious!

Ingredients

  • 2 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips
  • 1/2 cup butter
  • 3/4 cup light brown sugar
  • 3/4 cup granulated sugar
  • 4 large eggs
  • 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
  • 1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
  • 1/2 teaspoon crushed chili flakes
  • 1/2 teaspoon allspice
  • 1/2 teaspoon ground cayenne pepper
  • 1 cup all-purpose flour
  • 1 cup mini chocolate chips (optional)

Instructions

  1. Preheat the oven to 350°F. Grease a 9×9 baking dish. Set aside.
  2. In a microwave-safe dish, melt butter and chocolate chips. Microwave 30 seconds and then stir. Repeat until creamy.
  3. Whisk both the sugars into the chocolate and add the eggs, one at a time, whisking constantly, until evenly combined. Next, mix in the vanilla until smooth. Stir in the salt, cayenne, chili flakes, and flour until they’re evenly incorporated. Stir in the mini chips and pour the batter into the prepared pan.
  4. Bake the brownies for 30 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted 2 inches from the side comes out clean.
  5. Let the brownies cool completely in the pan before cutting into squares.

This makes me want to make them again.

If you make either of these, let me know how they turn out.

Stay safe and be kind,

Éric

Pocket Library – Jen and Éric edition

The Pocket Library template was made by @thebookishanimator_, and I thought it would be fun to make our own editions of it! Here are Jen and Éric’s Pocket Libraries.

Winging It by Jen Desmarais is available now!
Cover Art by Pinkpiggy93
49th Shelf Crushing It
Indigo Books Crushing It
Archambault Crushing It
Amazon Crushing It
Rakuten Kobo Crushing It
Apple Books Crushing It
The Copper Tarnish by Éric Desmarais available June 3rd, 2025.
eBook
Paperback link to come

Shadowbox Ornaments: Assassins! Accidental Matchmakers

I got the idea to make shadowbox out of the cover image of our books, and I thought it would be fun for you to have access as well!

Materials:
Paper (or cardstock)
Colour printer
Scissors
Exacto knife
Cutting board
Tape (or glue)
Patience

Instructions:

  1. Print the template provided (PDF download above)
  2. Cut out the pieces using scissors
  3. Cut out the greyed out background with the Exacto knife
  4. Tape (or glue) the parts together.

O Tannen-bomb – Chapter 2/2

This story takes place the Christmas after the events of Monsters! Incidental Wedding Guests and Winging It.

The story was written by Jen and Éric Desmarais with the help of Dragon Desmarais.


Read Part 1 here

Saturday the 13th of December, 2003 – Westmeath, Ontario

Running over to them, Jason checked the boy’s pulse and it was extremely weak but still present. “It’s not petrification. They’re fine.”

“Wasn’t there a tree in the middle of the dance floor?” Kennedy asked, before shouting, “Duck!”

Over a year of training together and a trust built on saving each other’s lives countless times meant he dropped to the floor without thinking about it. The silvery ball that would have hit him in the shoulders flew past and hit Dr. Amita. She froze on the spot, her face contorted in confusion.

People screamed and would have panicked but Kennedy said, “Everyone please move toward the exit in an orderly fashion.” Westmeath had enough strange things happening that people walked quickly but not fast enough to hurt each other. There were still quite a few people left, all frozen.

“Where did that come from?” he asked as he kicked up from the ground and landed on his feet.

“The tree,” Kennedy said, “But I’m not sure which one.” She joined him near the boys.

The five trees seemed to shiver at the sound of her voice. Jason used his shadow power to stretch his senses out and see if they moved.

“How does a tree that’s in a pot move around?” he wondered aloud. He felt the attack and movement before seeing it. Grabbing Kennedy’s hands, he swung her around to avoid a volley.

“I can’t tell which tree it’s coming from,” she said, annoyed.

“Even my shadow senses aren’t helping with that. It moves too fast. But only one is moving”

“The cake!” Kennedy exclaimed and ran to the buffet, weaving and dodging around attacks. She lifted up the large red Yule log cake and said, “We just need to figure out which one moves and we can use the cake to mark it.”

It was a good idea, but a shift in the lighting and shadows made Jason turn away from her. The room had gotten darker as the moonlight from the wall of windows was blocked.

Surrounding the room from outside were massive pine trees. The christmas trees inside stood just over two and half metres tall, the ones outside were easily ten times that height. 

Kennedy gave a small squeak and said, “Well, that’s not good.” 

The doors flew inward, followed by a figure in silver full-plate armour. He had a longsword on his left hip and a dagger holstered on the opposite side. His helmet was down but he looked around the room and lifted it before saying, “You need to get out of here. It’s not safe.”

Laughing, still comically holding the cake, Kennedy said, “Jeepers, that was dramatic, and we know.”

“Kennedy?” the man said, looking surprised.

“Albert?” she replied. “For heaven’s sake, is everyone I know from Baker magical?”

The armour was the symbol of the Gatekeepers and organization that was dedicated to protecting the world from Aether incursions. Creatures created from imagination and magic could cause havoc if not controlled. The creatures were returned or hunted, while the people or Aetherborn were educated and placed in communities like Westmeath. 

“Not to break up the reunion but—” Jason was cut off by a volley of flying ornaments. It seemed the tree took a little time to reload. 

“Right. Sorry. I am Gatekeeper Therien. I tracked a part of a rogue tannen-bomb here.” He looked out the window and replied, “and it looks like the rest of it just arrived.”

“Part? You mean this is all one creature? Like a magical Pando?” Kennedy asked. When the knight didn’t reply, she added, “Pando, the giant organism that’s one root system with tens of thousands of trees?”

“Yes.” He drew his sword and swatted at the ornaments that were flying toward them. “Why are you holding a cake?”

“It’s to throw at the tree so we know which one it is,” she replied sheepishly. 

“Ah. Good idea, but it’s the one next to your husband.”

Jason whipped around, not used to being snuck up on. He raised a hand in defence but was struck by a freeze bomb. It didn’t hurt, and he could hear and see everything happening. 

A cake flew into his vision and smashed into the tree, covering it in red icing, and some splashing on Jason’s face and hair.

“I just have to grab it and I’ll be able to banish the whole thing,” Albert announced.

Kennedy picked up two covers from the warm Hors d’oeuvre trays and said, “I’ll distract it.”  With a few long strides, she made it to Jason and whispered, “Sorry and I’ll save you.” then she pecked him on the cheek. “Yum, strawberry icing.”

“Try to get it to run to me,” Albert said.

Banging her trays at the obviously marked tree, she said, “I was being sappy. Are you ent-ertained? Wood you please move toward the knight? No pining and no barking!”

The tree let out a horrifying shrieking noise and ran toward Kennedy. 

“You said distract, not taunt,” Albert said, sounding amused.

“It’s following me, so it’s distracted,” she yelled. “Come on tree, are you that easy to needle?”

Despite Kennedy running as fast as she could, the tree was catching up. “Hold on,” she said. “It’s a tree!” Turning around with her makeshift shields, she braced for impact. Surprised, the tree reversed course right into the Gatekeeper.

Putting his hands on the tree’s branches, he shouted, “Ga Bort!” and the tree disappeared, replaced by an equal mass of clear pine scented goo. It was followed a second later by the rest of the trees outside and a wave of goo that covered the windows.

Everyone started to wake up and as Kennedy was distracted, the knight tried to walk away. “Albert, stay and enjoy the party,” she said, before running to check on Jason and the boys.

“If you insist,” he replied, making a magical gesture that transformed his armour into formal clothes.

The guests who had run away had been trapped in the lobby but now they were moving back to the party. It wasn’t the weirdest thing to happen in Westmeath. Not even this year.

Later, as everyone was enjoying good food and drink, minus a strawberry Yule log cake, Jason said, “The thing that bothers me about the whole situation is that I didn’t get to make a single tree pun.”

Kennedy kissed his now-clean cheek and replied, “Next time, when you’re not frozen. But I always have you covered, just leaf it to me.”


Read more holiday stories:

O Tannen-bomb – Chapter 1/2

This story takes place the Christmas after the events of Monsters! Incidental Wedding Guests and Winging It.

The story was written by Jen and Éric Desmarais with the help of Dragon Desmarais.


Saturday the 13th of December, 2003 – Westmeath, Ontario

They were halfway down the corridor to the cafeteria before the music reached their ears.

“Maybe that’ll be you in a few years,” Kennedy said to her teenage brother, Tommy.

He cocked his head, listening. “Nah, that’s a string quartet. I don’t plan on changing instruments.”

Jason chuckled. “They don’t get the same band year after year. You have a chance.”

“I think I’d rather spend my time eating that delicious smelling food,” Tommy replied. “And dancing with my boyfriend,” he added, squeezing Carter’s hand.

“I love the variety of decorations,” Carter said. “You’d think the mishmash of cultures would be chaotic, but it works really well.”

“You should tell Amita that,” Kennedy said. “This party is all her doing. She’s been talking about it for weeks.”

“Oh, it’s Amita now?” Jason murmured. “You finally managed to drop the ‘doctor’?”

Kennedy grimaced. “She had me practise. To her face. I still feel awkward about it, though.”

The corridor opened up to the large room, and the teenage boys halted in awe, almost tripping the older couple.

“I forget that you’ve never visited me at work,” Kennedy said. “We’ve had school groups in for field trips. Didn’t you come last year, Carter?”

“Yeah, but there weren’t five ginormous Christmas trees in the building then,” he said, shaking his head.

“We’re supposed to come in early January,” Tommy said absentmindedly, eyes wide as he took in the two full walls of floor-to-ceiling windows.

Through them, even with the lighting creating a mirror effect, they could make out the snowy courtyard and the fields beyond.

Carter recovered first. “They’re making some of the Everdome recipes we brought back with us! Come on!” He grabbed Tommy’s hand and pulled him to the buffet tables.

Kennedy was about to follow them, but Jason tugged her hand, pulling her against him. He pressed his nose to her neck, his fingers trailing down the mostly bare skin of her back as he inhaled deeply. 

Her knees went weak. “Jason?” she murmured.

“Have I told you exactly how much I want to tear this dress off you?”

Kennedy bit her lip to hold in her laughter. Her emerald green dress, styled after the iconic Jessica Rabbit dress, never failed to drive him wild. “Many times. But if you tear it, I can’t wear it again.”

“The torture would end,” he teased.

“Excuse me,” said a new voice.

They side-stepped out of the doorway and she pinned him against the wall. “What about you?”

“What about me?”

“That waistcoat and your rolled up sleeves are doing things to me.”

He grinned at her. “What kind of things, and can I get involved?”

Kennedy walked her fingers up the buttons on his chest. “Absolutely. When we get home.” She pulled away. “But right now, I want food, and then I want to dance with my handsome husband.”

Jason looked around comedically. “Where is he?”

She laughed and caught his chin in her hand. “Right where he’s supposed to be.” She pressed a chaste kiss to his lips. “Let’s be sociable.”

“If we must,” he groaned dramatically.

“Oh good, I was hoping I would get to say hello before the New Year,” Dr. Amita teased them when they approached the near-groaning buffet tables.

“You outdid yourself,” Jason said. “How will you surpass this next year?”

Amita waved a hand. “Pssh, nobody will remember this one next year.”

“I remember that you only had four trees last year, and this time you’ve got five,” Kennedy pointed out.

“Is it some sort of pardonable offence that you cut down trees to bring inside?” Jason asked.

Amita raised an eyebrow. “I only cut down trees from the side of the family that I don’t like,” she said dryly.

They glared at each other for a moment before Amita chuckled, followed by Jason. “You know they’re replantable trees,” she said.

“And yet I will continue to pretend you murder your family members every year,” he replied.

Kennedy rolled her eyes. “Sometimes I forget that you two go way back. I should’ve known Jason wouldn’t insult someone like that otherwise.”

“Go dance. You haven’t fulfilled the romantic quota for the night yet.” Amita shooed them onto the dance floor.

“We can be romantic and eat cheese!” Kennedy protested half-heartedly.

“You like this song,” Jason said, sweeping her into his arms. “One dance and then we can feed each other bites of cheese.”

“It doesn’t have to be cheese,” she replied. “Oh, look at the boys! They’re so cute.”

They were swaying slowly in place near the big tree in the middle of the dance floor, looking deep into each other’s eyes.

“We can’t let them out-cute us!” Jason teased.

“I don’t think the word ‘cute’ ever crossed my mind when it came to you,” Kennedy said thoughtfully.

“Oh?” He spun her under his arm.

“No. More like hot, handsome, jaw-droppingly gorgeous…” She laughed when he flushed. “Okay, maybe now you’re a little cute.”

“Whoa, watch out—” Jason pulled her against him, away from the couple they almost bumped into.

The other couple didn’t move.

Jason frowned. “Are you two alright?” he asked.

Kennedy circled them. “They’re frozen in place,” she observed before scanning the room. Several other people were not moving either. “Tommy,” she breathed, whipping around to the teenagers. They hadn’t moved since the last time she’d looked over at them. “Oh no, mom’s going to kill me!” she groaned.

Read the conclusion


Read more holiday stories while you wait for Chapter 2:

December Dash

Starting today, and running until the 7th, we are taking part in the December Dash!

What is that, you ask?

Great question!

This is the inaugural event, where indie fantasy authors make book bundles of their signed physical books (and bonus content!) available to you just in time for the holidays! Link to the website with all the authors here.

Assassins! Accidental Matchmakers is the book we’re advertizing with the event. Check out the bundle options below. Please note that if you buy from our store, we will pay the tax, whereas if you buy from another store (Indigo, local bookstore, etc), you may not need to pay shipping. In both options, you will be able to get your hands on the bundle, but if you buy from another store, we will only be gifting the PDF versions.

Of course, you can buy other books from our store as well! We have some pretty great options (and we’ll throw in some bonus stuff for every book bought), including this one:

Note the free 2oz bag of coffee with that one!

We are really excited to participate in this event!

Want to see the full Assassins! bundle? Check it out on our website!

Bought the book elsewhere? Send your proof of purchase (image of the receipt with the book) to jenericdesigns@gmail.com

Thank you for supporting independent authors! We sincerely appreciate it!

“Fanatics! Inevitable Honeymoon Crashers” is finished!

Hello Readers!

I’m filled with exclamation marks! (Sounds like a medical issue honestly.)

After a year and a month of writing, we’ve finally finished Fanatics! Inevitable Honeymoon Crashers.

This is the third of four books in The Gates of Westmeath series and honestly my current favourite.

Our characters are happily married and on a chase for all the peices of Kennedy’s magical gem. They’re not the only ones though, aliens and Fay alike are going to try and get there before them. It’s a treasure hunt and race across the world, with stops in Ottawa ON, Montreal QC, Hope BC, Parry Sound ON, Paris France, and the magical archives of the Library of Alexandria.


The next step for us is editing and sending it to beta readers. Once that’s done (hopefully a few months) then we submit to our publisher and if they like it, it should be published, if we’re lucky, in 2027 or 2028.

We’ve only been publishing one book per year and next year will be the thrilling sequel to Crushing It!, and in 2026 we have slated a book called Faymous, which is a fun portal/Fairy book.

If you’re interested in being a beta reader, and you’ve read the first two books, please contact us. We have two spots available.

Good Reading,

Éric

Until you get to read this awesome new book why not read the first two?

49th Shelf Assassins! Accidental Matchmakers
Indigo Books Assassins! Accidental Matchmakers
Archambault Assassins! Accidental Matchmakers
Amazon Assassins! Accidental Matchmakers
Rakuten Kobo Assassins! Accidental Matchmakers
Apple Books Assassins! Accidental Matchmakers

Monsters! Incidental Wedding Guests by Jen and Éric Desmarais is available now!

49th Shelf Monsters! Incidental Wedding Guests
Indigo Books Monsters! Incidental Wedding Guests
Archambault Monsters! Incidental Wedding Guests
Amazon Monsters! Incidental Wedding Guests
Rakuten Kobo Monsters! Incidental Wedding Guests
Apple Books Monsters! Incidental Wedding Guests

Add it to your “Want to read” on Goodreads here!

Stuff Your e-Reader Romance Edition

We are participating in an incredible promotion; 1000 FREE romance books are available for TODAY only!

Go to romancebookworms.com and search through the catgories to stuff your e-reader to the gills!

Assassins! Accidental Matchmakers is in the Urban Fantasy category. If you haven’t had a chance to read it yet, you should go grab it from there.

And while you’re at it, Monsters! Incidental Wedding Guests is on sale for today only (on e-book)!

49th Shelf Monsters! Incidental Wedding Guests
Indigo Books Monsters! Incidental Wedding Guests
Archambault Monsters! Incidental Wedding Guests
Amazon Monsters! Incidental Wedding Guests
Rakuten Kobo Monsters! Incidental Wedding Guests
Apple Books Monsters! Incidental Wedding Guests

Play along with the Bingo: How stuffed is your e-reader?

Monsters! Incidental Wedding Guests Style Comps

“Monsters! Incidental Wedding Guests” is an Urban Fantasy Romance. What happens when superheroes plan a wedding? Monsters, that’s what.

Kennedy and Jason are ready to get married. They just have to deal with evaporating monsters first.

There are several other books and TV shows that have a similar style, in one way or another, to our book. Here are the images I made with all the covers of the style comparisons.

Summary

The week before Kennedy and Jason’s wedding is busy. There are cake tastings, dress fittings, a formal ball, and, as their superhero personas the Phantom and the Wraith, fighting monsters.

These behemoths are destructive, smell like snack food, and are only after one thing: Door Tech Industries technology.

Adding to the chaos are their friends and families; Jason’s grandmother has returned after having been missing for half a century, Kennedy’s mom is dead-set on keeping things traditional, and Jason’s best friend is kidnapped before the rehearsal.

Kennedy and Jason just want to get married, preferably before the next monster attack.

The second book of four in The Gates of Westmeath series.

Monsters! Incidental Wedding Guests by Jen and Éric Desmarais is available now!

49th Shelf Monsters! Incidental Wedding Guests
Indigo Books Monsters! Incidental Wedding Guests
Archambault Monsters! Incidental Wedding Guests
Amazon Monsters! Incidental Wedding Guests
Rakuten Kobo Monsters! Incidental Wedding Guests
Apple Books Monsters! Incidental Wedding Guests

Add it to your “Want to read” on Goodreads here!