Hate

The Insignificance of Life

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Hello Friends, Family, and Fans;

As I lay down to sleep last night, fighting a migraine and hearing Pegasus coughing, I was hit with the absurdity of life. On a microscopic scale we are nothing but a sapient world filled with billions of life forms, every cell in our body living and dying in an instant. On a macroscopic scale we’re specs of dust in an uncaring universe, our planet was formed and will be destroyed in a blink of a cosmic eye.

What brought on this existential drama? Chocolate Raspberry coffee.

I was waxing nostalgic about the chocolate raspberry coffee I used to drink in university. You know, back in the old days when Trump was a comedic reality star, TikTok was the sound clocks made, and social media was LiveJournal, MySpace, and MSN Messenger.

Back then, I was working three jobs, going to university full time, volunteering, and horribly burnt out. (Closeted and undiagnosed) However, it felt like the world made sense, like it had rules. Those rules were often unfair, but they were there.

I know now that I was naive. The world doesn’t follow any real rules, and this past decade has proven that over and over again. Humans are so desperate for order that we are easily deceived by grifters and a good story.

But nihilistically, it doesn’t matter. We’re all going to die and be forgotten. In a thousand years, everything and everyone we care about will be forgotten dust, and in five billion years our planet and race will be completely forgotten. Nothing really matters in the long run. Not tariffs, not disease, not the book I’m struggling to write, NOTHING.

So if nothing matters, than what’s the point? If it doesn’t matter, what is our pain and struggle for?

There are two ways to deal with understanding our impermanence: you can choose selfishness or kindness.

Like any binary, there’s an infinite amount of varieties in these two, but if you look at what’s going on around the word, at the hate, the fear, the war, and the suffering; it’s not hard to see that a lot of people have chosen selfishness.

If nothing matters, if we only have this short amount of time together, what’s the point of amassing wealth? Of creating a legacy of money, business, or power? It’s all dust in the end. Just ask Ozymandias.

I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desart.[d] Near them, on the sand,
Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown,
And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed:
And on the pedestal these words appear:
“My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!”
No thing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.

— Percy Shelley, “Ozymandias”, 1819 edition

Kindness is the better option. It’s always the better option. Be kind to yourself, be kind to others, and be kind to the world.

Since we’re just tiny blips in the history of humanity, and completely irrelevant to the history of the universe, why not make the time we have be pleasant. If there is a God, he’ll agree, if there isn’t, you’ve made your life and those around you a little better, and that might not mean anything in the long term, but in the short term it’s the only thing that matters.

Choose Kindness,

Éric

On the Edge

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Dear Friends, Family, and Fans;

The past decade has been a confusing and scary one for me. I have a very definite sense of justice and I’m often confused when others don’t. The fact that people like Rowling, Trump, or Woody Allen can still have successful careers is baffling to me.

It’s a source of great stress, especially when I see people defending hate. Two years ago when the convoy debacle happened, I got into an argument with a family member. They believed that the convoy was fighting for righteous reasons. I disagreed but could accept that. When I pointed out that two of the organizers had ties to hate groups, they said it didn’t matter because they were fighting for their right to not wear a mask. I still can’t understand that position.

How can you ignore, or forgive, the hateful part of someone just because you agree with something they are doing or saying?

The whole concept has me on edge. Every day in the news, there’s a new, hate-filled event and it’s exhausting and nerve-wracking.

More than ever, I feel like the world is on the edge of something truly terrible happening. I worry that I’ll be looking back at this time and thinking it was the good old days. “Remember when we could afford to drink coffee and we could chat with people around the world?”

I’m trying my best to take joy wherever I can, but it feels selfish and like I’m ignoring the world.

I wish I could do more than just avoiding supporting the cruel and speaking out. I wish I could do something bigger. Unfortunately, that attitude isn’t helpful. If everyone does small acts of kindness, we can start to make a difference. Individual snowflakes are powerless but when they get together they can paralyze a city.

Do what you can, I’ll do what I can, and together we can hopefully start an avalanche of kindness to combat all the hate.

Also… VOTE!

Vote like your life depends on it, because it’s becoming clear that the US is a warning, not an aberration.

There are good people out there and we need to remember that there is still hope.

Take care of each other!

Stay safe and be kind,

Éric

I’m scared but I have hope

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Hello Friends, Family, and Fans,

I’m back at work today, Dragon goes back to school, and life restarts after an extended break.

As I write this, I just finished reading the comments section on a Facebook post from Ottawa Public Health. I see in the comments a combination of anger and fear that is extremely familiar. Those that aren’t fake are people trying to come to terms with a world that seems to be falling apart. I understand the anger, I understand the frustration, and I understand the helplessness.

Unfortunately, we are in the golden age of cults. Yes, cults. From Dictionary.com, “An instance of great veneration of a person, ideal, or thing, especially as manifested by a body of admirers”.

Cults used to need to isolate and cut people off from their support systems in order to take advantage of them. In our curated digital world, it’s easy to find oneself isolated into specific communities with extreme ideas. My tik-tok is heavily queer, neurodivergent, writerly, and ttrpg based with a smattering of food and nutrition. I doubt that’s others’ experiences.

What this means is that we’re seeing more polarization and more us-vs-them and a lot more confusion. When everyone around you says the same thing and suddenly others are saying differently, it’s jarring and a little scary.

It’s a form of Cognitive Dissonance. That gut instinct of “am I wrong?” followed by either doubling down on your beliefs or challenging them. Unfortunately, there’s a lot more doubling down, especially when you are scared.

Basically, what I’m saying is that social media is a grade school rumour mill taken to the extreme. What that means for humanity is still to be decided.

No matter how hard it is to see, there is hope. Change is slow, social change doubly so. But every generation pushes it further. For every cult leader out there, there are people working to debunk their lies. For every 10-50 hate-filled comment, there are real people sharing their truths.

Hope in and of itself is powerful, with hope we can find the good. Without it we are lost.

What we can do is hard and doesn’t always work, but we can be kind. We can help those in need. We can tell the stories that need to be told. We can defend those who need it. And most of all, we can question everything.

That’s enough rambling from me.

Be kind and stay safe,

Éric

Hate, Wrath, and Pride

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Hello friends, family, and fans,

I truly think that people are fundamentally good but there are those who are consumed by hate. They justify their hate with religion, pseudo-science, anecdotes, or false-morality; but underneath it’s fear turned sour. They create an “other” that is wrong in some way and fixate on them to a terrifying level, dehumanizing entire groups of people and attacking them.

Over the past 15 years of blogging, I have tried to be honest, passionate, and open. Events in my life from the past year have made me rethink my online presence and advocacy. The anonymity of the internet can embolden those who hate to commit terrible acts.

Because of the current backlash against the 2slgbtqia+ community, it is important for those of us who can, to share our pride in our identities. I’ve mentioned before that I’m bisexual and this month is Pride month. So here I am, a queer-bisexual cis-man, who uses he/him pronouns.

I’m happy with who I am and proud of what I went through to get to here. If my pride and visibility can help others, then I have a responsibility to speak up.

If you only know a little about Pride, here are a few places to get some more information:

Stay safe and be kind,

Éric

Judged by the people you surround yourself with

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Hi World,

I saw this video and it made me think about the people we surround ourselves with.

My mother, now gone 14 years, always told me that no matter how innocent I was, I’d be judged by the friends I have. I think she was worried about me getting involved with a gang or something. As the poor kid in a town with no minorities I was the most likely to become the scapegoat.

I’ve tried to make sure I was friends with good people and to avoid situations where I would be associated with bigots, racists, etc.

I miss my mom, but with her health for her last decade, I am sort of relieved she didn’t have to live through Covid. I’m also happy that she hasn’t seen the people her family and friends have associated themselves with.

I’ve given the Freedom Convoy more attention than I should, but it’s directly affecting many of my friends and my city.

Antihate canada is a non-profit organization that studies hate groups and they have some interesting things to say about the organizers of the convoy: Tamara Lich, Benjamin “BJ” Dichter, and Ben King. THE ‘FREEDOM CONVOY’ IS NOTHING BUT A VEHICLE FOR THE FAR RIGHT

The movement is also supported by several American celebrities and prominent anti-vaxx advocates and hate mongers. The Citizen wrote an article about this support: ‘The Canadian revolution’: How foreign anti-mandate sympathizers are framing the trucker convoy.

Now I can hear all the deniers saying how they don’t trust the MSM… so how about straight from the source:

or how about this:

There have been reports of fires, looting, blocking emergency vehicles, and many other reprehensible things.

I’ve seen a lot of people sharing an image that says, “Proud Member of a Small Fringe Minority with Unacceptable Views.” Do they share the views of the organizers? Or how about the supporters?

It’s sad to see so many people who are willing to disregard the founding and actions of this protest just because they dislike the prime minister or agree with one or two parts of the protests ideas.

At this point I only see two ends to this; violence or the protesters going home unhappy.

Stay safe and be kind,

Éric

Introducing Brew 42

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Due to the hateful position taken by a certain author, we at JenEric Designs can not morally support them or the world they created.

All Harry Potter crochet will be discontinued.

50% of all sales of remaining stock (including a beautiful Hufflepuff inspired scarf) will be donated to the Trans Women of Color Collective (TWOCC).

Hello Coffee lovers!

I’m proud and excited to introduce our newest flavour: Brew 42. It’s a medium roast unflavoured coffee which which will make you a really hoopy frood.

Enjoy it soon on JenEric Coffee and Crochet!

Enjoy!

Éric

Consume Media Critically

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Due to the hateful position taken by a certain author, we at JenEric Designs can not morally support them or the world they created.

All Harry Potter crochet and coffee will be discontinued.

50% of all sales of remaining stock (including a beautiful Hufflepuff inspired scarf) will be donated to the Trans Women of Color Collective (TWOCC).

Use code BTLM for 15% off your entire order until Midnight June 14th.

Hello My Imaginary Friends,

Consuming media critically is something that I encourage everyone to do. You can love a story and still admit its faults.

I firmly believe that once a story is out in the world it not longer belongs (metaphorically and spiritually, not legally) to the creators. I wrote about this from a creator’s point of view in Your Stories and Characters don’t Belong to you. Get over it!

When you consume a story and love it, you take from it what you need. Once the story is out there and communities build around them, the entire world of it changes and grows. The fans fundamentally change the story, usually for the better.

That being said, it’s important to listen those who are hurt by the things we consume. To look at the negative aspects and accept that they can be hurtful. If someone says they are hurt by something, we must listen and learn from that.

Harry Potter is filled with racist, homophobic, classist, pro-slavery, colonialist, and antisemitic themes. I’m sure there are other things in there that I haven’t noticed. It’s also filled with messages about the power of love, found family, doing the right thing, and standing up against oppression. Nothing is perfect. It’s your responsibility to decide if the good outweighs the bad.

We plan on keeping our Harry Potter books and making sure we explain the faults to our kids. However, we gave away our Marion Zimmer Bradley books and I refuse to read Lovecraft. You need to decide on your own balance.

If the Harry Potter universe is important to you, if you have fond memories of waiting in line for the books, if you smile when you hear the words Mushroom and Badger close together, or if your life was influenced for the better by these book; those memories and events are still good and valid. As much as the creator influences the work, so do the consumers. Don’t allow the author’s misguided hateful views to dim the positive that the books have done.

If you still love the world and still want to consume things about it, I recommend looking into fan fiction, fan art, and other creators that have played with those worlds.

Art by the talented itsnucleicacid on DiviantArt.

Consume responsibly,

Éric

Long Haul

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Hello My Imaginary Friends,

Trump said something about having everything open by Easter. Even before that, people were talking about returning to normal.

I heard about the Virus in the end of January while on vacation at Disney. I’m ashamed to say that I thought people were overreacting. Then I got sick.

Baby Pegasus got something at the end of our trip to Florida and then sneezed into my mouth. Yum. I’m not sure if it was the virus or another Covid that’s flying around there, but it matched all the symptoms. Who knows. Either way, it was the worst sickness I’ve had outside of severe food poisoning.

By the end of February, I was starting to get worried. By the time the lockdowns started, I realized this was going to be a while.

Every week, news sources are talking about when things will go back to normal. People who saw the horrifying inequality in our society want us to do better then normal.

I’m convinced this will be a long haul. This will become our normal for a while. I’m hoping that by Christmas we will have a viable cure or vaccine. But I don’t expect the threat to go away until the end of 2020.

Now just because the Virus is still around, doesn’t mean that those who have their own best interest in mind aren’t going to push to reopen society. We will see those that believe humans are a commodity pushing for a return to capitalist normal.

We will see things normalized that should horrify us before this is over. Governments will push too far, corporations will push eugenics, or immunity cards, and worst, our friends and neighbours will start to believe the arguments.

My greatest fear is going to be having to choose between the health of my family, friends, and myself, over having to go back to work. I’m really hoping it doesn’t come to that.

Now let me be positive. At least in the short term this will mean a greater respect for those that are working hard everyday. Those that work at grocery stores, hospitals, restaurants, sanitation, and all the other essentials services.

In the long run, I expect better respect for the importance of health care and minimum wage. The need to make internet an essential and affordable service and the need for being prepared for this in the future. I also really hope we see the quick death of the anti-vaccine movement.

 Uncertain future. Illustration: Chris Riddell

We have lived through 3 major viral pandemics in the past twenty years (5 if you count Ebola and HIV); this is going to happen again. If we’re lucky, it’ll be a strain of something we have a vaccine for and can adapt fast but I predict this isn’t the last major shutdown of our times.

In these darker times, it’s important for us to remember three things:

  1. All life has value; no one should be defined by the amount of money they can make for others.
  2. Don’t give in to hate.
  3. Life will change after this and it’s up to us to make sure it’s for the better.

Stay home, wash your hands, and be kind to one another.

Éric

Dear Pegasus – Fear of Cults

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Dear Baby Pegasus,

You are on your way and I’m both excited and nervous. I wrote about my anxieties in my previous letter but I left one out.

I’m terrified because you are a perfect target for cults. When your Gramma was young, she joined a cult. They separated people from their families, fed them little, sleep deprived them, and made them believe that the central figure was faultless if not deific.

When I was young I noticed similar behaviour in school. In this case, it was a teacher with bad intentions who used all the same tricks to turn the class into his own private cult and he took advantage of select people. Even when he was caught, there were elements of the conditioning left in the class to make people want him to return.

You are growing up in a different age than your Gramma or I, and in some ways it’s wondrous. The entirety of human knowledge is available to you with little to no effort. As is the entirety of misinformation and hate that we as a race are capable of. It means that cults today don’t need a compound, they don’t need their old tricks. They have direct access to you through multiple channels and they prey on your fear, distrust, hurt, and pride.

Modern digital cults are cults of hate. They’re not new but they are much more far reaching. I’m scared I won’t have the ability to save you from them; I’m scared I won’t be able to prepare you to defend against them; and I’m scared they will steal you before you know what’s going on.

Your Mum and I do, and will do, our best to raise you and your sister to think rationally. To look at the evidence, opposing views, and make a critical decision based on that and your values.

I just hope it’s enough. I hope that in your darkest moments where you consider joining or participating in these things that you know you always have us to talk to.

I love you so much and I’ve yet to meet you,

Your Papa

P.S. This article explains a lot better what could happen.

Dear Pegasus – Being a Man

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Dear Baby Pegasus,

As a parent, my goal is to help you be the best version of yourself you can be. That’s the goal, but on a daily basis I’m usually just trying to make sure you and your sister survive with limited trauma.

You’re on your way, two months now before you get here and I’m terrified. I feel like I just got used to having three members of the family. I have no idea what you’ll be like, or how you’ll get along with your sister and it scares me.

I also harbour a strange fear. I’m not sure how to raise a boy. I’ve spent most of my life surrounded by girls and when I made friends with boys it almost always ended poorly. I often have no idea what to say or how to act around other males. I can count on one hand the men I’m close to and feel comfortable with.

Gender is a social construct, but with it comes social constructs on behaviour and shared truths. I feel like I missed the “male” seminar and that means in groups of men I often feel like I’m missing something. Some subtext that I just don’t follow.

Yes I’m empathic, yes I’m a writer, and yes I am a man. But those are despite my anxieties, not because of them.

All that to say I have no idea how to raise you to be a good, great, or any sort of a man. Sorry.

What I do know is that I’m going to do my best to raise you as a caring, intelligent, and good person. It means I’m going to try and ask myself if I treat you differently than your sister and if it’s because you’re a boy. I want to make sure you don’t just respect others but have genuine compassion.

No matter what, know that your Mum and I love you and want what’s best for you,

Your Papa