kindness

The Insignificance of Life

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Hello Friends, Family, and Fans;

As I lay down to sleep last night, fighting a migraine and hearing Pegasus coughing, I was hit with the absurdity of life. On a microscopic scale we are nothing but a sapient world filled with billions of life forms, every cell in our body living and dying in an instant. On a macroscopic scale we’re specs of dust in an uncaring universe, our planet was formed and will be destroyed in a blink of a cosmic eye.

What brought on this existential drama? Chocolate Raspberry coffee.

I was waxing nostalgic about the chocolate raspberry coffee I used to drink in university. You know, back in the old days when Trump was a comedic reality star, TikTok was the sound clocks made, and social media was LiveJournal, MySpace, and MSN Messenger.

Back then, I was working three jobs, going to university full time, volunteering, and horribly burnt out. (Closeted and undiagnosed) However, it felt like the world made sense, like it had rules. Those rules were often unfair, but they were there.

I know now that I was naive. The world doesn’t follow any real rules, and this past decade has proven that over and over again. Humans are so desperate for order that we are easily deceived by grifters and a good story.

But nihilistically, it doesn’t matter. We’re all going to die and be forgotten. In a thousand years, everything and everyone we care about will be forgotten dust, and in five billion years our planet and race will be completely forgotten. Nothing really matters in the long run. Not tariffs, not disease, not the book I’m struggling to write, NOTHING.

So if nothing matters, than what’s the point? If it doesn’t matter, what is our pain and struggle for?

There are two ways to deal with understanding our impermanence: you can choose selfishness or kindness.

Like any binary, there’s an infinite amount of varieties in these two, but if you look at what’s going on around the word, at the hate, the fear, the war, and the suffering; it’s not hard to see that a lot of people have chosen selfishness.

If nothing matters, if we only have this short amount of time together, what’s the point of amassing wealth? Of creating a legacy of money, business, or power? It’s all dust in the end. Just ask Ozymandias.

I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desart.[d] Near them, on the sand,
Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown,
And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed:
And on the pedestal these words appear:
“My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!”
No thing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.

— Percy Shelley, “Ozymandias”, 1819 edition

Kindness is the better option. It’s always the better option. Be kind to yourself, be kind to others, and be kind to the world.

Since we’re just tiny blips in the history of humanity, and completely irrelevant to the history of the universe, why not make the time we have be pleasant. If there is a God, he’ll agree, if there isn’t, you’ve made your life and those around you a little better, and that might not mean anything in the long term, but in the short term it’s the only thing that matters.

Choose Kindness,

Éric

Empathy

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Hello Friends, Family, and Fans;

In response to Bishop Mariann Budde urging Trump to show mercy and compassion at the inauguration, a deacon called Ben Garrett urged people not to “commit the sin of empathy”.

It was a weird, backward, way of talking, so I assumed they were a fringe idiot getting their ten minutes of mockery.

Then a few weeks later Musk was on the Joe Rogan podcast and said, “The fundamental weakness of Western civilization is empathy.” The full quote is less sociopath and more “stoned philosophy student who wants to look smart”

Ironically, he’s talking about using emotional manipulation to control how people react. I say ironically because he does this all the time.

Weaponizing empathy isn’t a new thing, it’s as old as humanity and it can be devastating. It’s used in a lot of charity scams where they show starving babies and then beg you to give money.

Now to go from saying that there are unscrupulous people preying on our empathy to saying that empathy is a weakness or even a sin, is a fundamental misunderstanding of what it means to be human.

Some days it’s hard to believe it, but empathy is as much part of humanity as fear. I believe that empathy is one of our species’ biggest strengths.

The real sin and the real weakness in all civilizations is the ability to convince ourselves that others aren’t human. The ability to dehumanize, or other, a group of people through language, action, and even laws is the reason for a lot of humanity’s problems.

Hate’s two favourite tools are fear and dehumanization.

When you’re choosing what or who to believe, idolize, or vote for; look at how they treat those that are different from them, especially those less powerful.

Being empathic and working at understanding others is never a weakness, and if God sees it as a sin then I’d rather be a sinner. We can only progress as a people if we treat each other with respect and not only accept but revel in our differences.

Stay safe and be kind,

Éric

Vote, Please!

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Hello,

The Ontario Election is on Thursday the 27th. If you haven’t gone to vote in the early polls, please go vote on election day.

If you don’t vote, you’re letting others decide for you, and that didn’t work out too well the past few provincial elections or down south.

Stay safe and be kind,

Éric

Sometimes You Need to Step Back

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Hello Friends, Family, and Fans,

A little while ago my need to be precise got me in trouble. Someone was complaining on the internet, and I clarified what was going on. That person accused me of attacking them and then someone who I once respected compared me to an abuser.

Being neurodivergent means I don’t always understand what’s going on until later with social interactions. So the whole thing confused me and made me angry.

Thinking back on it, I think I can see that the person’s interactions were coloured by their own trauma. I wish they’d explained to me why they were upset instead of attacking me but that’s not what the world is like.

Over the past couple of decades, I’ve noticed that we as humans are really bad at looking outside ourselves and even neurotypicals have trouble understanding others.

I’m always trying to understand people, and here are a few things I’ve learned:

I probably should have handled the situation differently. I wanted to correct the assumed accidental misinformation, but once the other party started getting defensive, I should have disengaged.

I understand that the two of them are working through stuff and that I must have triggered some bad memories. However, that’s not a good reason to start making personal attacks. (Your trauma doesn’t excuse being cruel to others.)

A friend recommended I lay low for a while, and knowing that I wouldn’t be able to stop correcting bad information, I left the social media groups related to those two people. It’s frustrating because it feels like I’ve been chased out of places I thought were safe.

If anyone feels like I’m attacking them, please contact me privately and we can talk about it. I try to never attack people but correct misinformation. I can see where that could be taken as the same thing, but before you start insulting me in public, talk to me. Please!

Stay safe, and be kind,

 Éric

Dear Dragon – Kindness

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Dear Dragon,

It’s been one heck of a school year. Lots of sickness, lots of uncertainty, and lots of worry. There have been some awkward talks with your classmates about Santa and crushes.

One thing that has been constant however is your kindness.

This week you found out that your friend had worn her one blue shirt and needed a blue shirt for the Winter Carnival at school. You immediately decided to bring her a shirt. There have been other times this year, you wanted to bring things for your classmates and I think that’s really sweet of you.

You also want to make something called, “Kids Club” that would see you and your friends doing things you’re good at and selling the product to raise money for charity. (I think this is inspired by the books and movies of the Baby-Sitters Club.)

You think the best of others and have a really hard time understanding why people do mean or unkind things. You also have a strong sense of right and wrong. Both are admirable but it sometimes leads you to be indignant or wanting to strike back.

I hope that as you grow up, you learn to temper that … erm well… temper and try to see why people are the way they are.

The world, and humanity, sometimes seems like a cruel place, but watching you wanting to do nice things for your neighbours makes me feel hopeful.

I love you little Dragon!

Your Papa

Do you live in fear?

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Hello Readers,

Let me me start by saying I’m tired. Tired of people being jackasses to each other and then turning around and blaming someone else.

I’ve been accused of living in fear for the past six months. Apparently being afraid of a virus that has killed nearly 3/4 of a million people and following health and safety guidelines is living in fear.

Fear is a natural reaction, it’s an instinct that keeps us alive. Fear isn’t a bad thing. I can hear the embodiment of internet comment sections sections screaming, “BUT IT CONTROLS YOU!” Fear can be used to control, and yes it can go to unhealthy levels, but self isolating, wearing a mask, and avoiding risky behaviour is not unhealthy (it’s the opposite).

Tempting… https://leasticoulddo.com/comic/20200813

I understand that some people have legitimate reasons to not wear a mask, that’s fine and I’ll never challenge someone who isn’t wearing one, but I’ll give them a wide berth. However, if you’re refusing to wear a mask on principle, you are being selfish, inconsiderate, and ridiculous. What’s the worst that happens? You do something in hopes that it’ll benefit others and it doesn’t work?

More recently I’m seeing a lot of memes about how more children are stolen and sold than died of Covid, or how this one kid died because someone shot him but it’s not getting the same media attention.

One travesty doesn’t mean another isn’t important. People can, and do care about more than one thing. It’s unfair and reductive to compare them. Only a fool says “Car accidents kill more people than cancer.” Same applies here.

In an article in Science Mag, they describe the “sheer breadth of complications linked to COVID-19 is mind-boggling“. Over and over again, science has said that this virus is dangerous and I will treat it that way.

Another argument that’s been passing around is that “the flu kills people every year, should we take the same precautions for it?” My answer is yes. Wear a mask during flu season or if you feel sick. If you have a choice, don’t go to work sick. We should be pushing for mandatory sick days.

We as a society need to overcome the foolish notion that taking sick days is a sign of weakness or laziness.

Wear a mask, wash your hands, and be safe,

Éric