I am currently a mess. It’s okay, I’m working through it. I’ve mentioned before that I’m having issues with burnout and long-Covid. Combined with my current seasonal allergies, it’s been a hard few weeks.
I had a lot to do lately and a lot I wanted to do. I pushed a little too hard and my body gave me hell.
Unfortunately, balance is something that will take time. It’s all about learning my limits and that those will change with the seasons.
Thankfully, once my son is vaccinated (which is looking like it could be this year) I will feel comfortable returning to my allergist and getting the shots again. I’ve been off them for just over seven years and I’ve slowly slipped back to being as bad as I was before the shots. The worst is the oral allergy syndrome that causes me to have issues with a lot of fruits. That, and the fatigue.
Anyway, the point of all this is to let you know that it’s okay to screw-up and make mistakes. Life is messy and taking care of yourself is hard.
I swear I’ll get back to writing about writing and how cute my kids are soon.
Two years ago, my family and I went to Disney World. Baby Pegasus, at 7 months, got sick. He had a moderate fever and we were leaving that day.
As I was playing with him, he sneezed into my mouth. Parenting is sooo glamorous.
Sick baby Pegasus lying on the floor asleep
We did what we thought was best and took him home as fast as I we could. At the airport, we gave him crushed up tylenol and hoped for the best.
I started feeling off on the plane. By the time we got home, I had chills, aches, and a fever too. We visited the clinic and the doctor said that both of our lungs were clear and to keep an eye out for trouble breathing. She said, “Even if it’s the new virus, we don’t have the testing to check.”
Jen and Dragon had mild fevers, but nothing else.
The next few days were a blur of pain and half sleep. I couldn’t stand, I couldn’t have the kids snuggle me without pain in my chest. Everything hurt like I’d sprained it. Nothing I’ve ever experienced compared to the amount of constant pain. (Keep in mind that I once needed to have my throat lanced from a blister caused by strep throat.)
I was so weak that I couldn’t make coffee. That sounds like a joke, but I have a point. When I recovered enough to try and restart my normal routine, I started making myself coffee. I didn’t like the taste. It was warm and mildly sweet, but there was nothing else there. I tried to make it stronger and couldn’t tell.
In retrospect, I should have come to the conclusion that I’d caught COVID, but things were stressful and I was going back to work after my parental leave. I assumed I just needed to get my taste for it back. I also remember at that time, that I only really enjoyed salty or spicy food because it was all I could taste.
Father and son knocked out and feeling terrible.
Over the past two years I’ve noticed a few things about myself:
I am easily irritable
It’s harder to catch my breath
I started having trouble sleeping even when exhausted
I’m always tired
I’m always fatigued
I have a harder time concentrating
I forget stuff
I constantly have a headache
I thought it was the baby not sleeping, the stress of a worldwide pandemic, or returning to work.
Looking back through I see that some of those things have been getting better. I can now taste coffee although it does taste different. Even though it smells the same, it feels like weird Berenstain Bears Effect. The fatigue is getting better. I used to be able to do one thing a day and I’d be wiped. Showering would destroy all my energy and now it’s back to making me feel better.
I still have a lot of the other issues, the fatigue combined with insomnia is hardest to deal with. It makes me hate going to sleep. I also wake up in all kinds of pain.
So… I guess I have long COVID, and according to my doctor, there’s nothing I can do about it. Thankfully I work from home and have an amazing family.
My big worry is if it affected the kids. How the hell do you tell if it affected a 3yo or 7mo? They’ve changed so much that there’s no real way to tell. It seems like they’re fine and I really hope they don’t suffer any long-term effects.
Hopefully, with full vaccination and some common sense we can avoid this happening to them because I’m telling you, it sucks. I feel like I’ve aged twenty years.
Very serious faces from father and Pegasus
When someone tells you, “It’s just a cold” or “We should just get it over with,” they’re wrong. Get vaccinated, wash your hands, wear a mask, and don’t get it if you can avoid it.
