Pegasus

Dear Pegasus – Welcome to Level 6

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Dear Pegaus,

This has been a big year for you. I’m both proud and amazed at everything you’ve accomplished.

This year you’ve:

  • Gone to in-person school
  • Learned to speak and understand French
  • Developed a love for drawing
  • Made lots of friends
  • Continued to read voraciously

Your fifth year started with a nice calm summer and a big trip to Disneyland. We went with Grannie, Grand-dad, and Aunt Lindsay. We stayed in a house we rented that had a pac man arcade game, a massive pool, and enough room for everyone to be comfortable for a couple weeks. You loved the Spider-Man ride and Soarin’.

You started out the school year hating everything about it. Slowly you grew to love your teacher and some of the other kids. You even had an “arch-nemesis” who would run up to you and push you. You treated it like a nuisance and not bullying and you promised to tell the teacher.

There were a few incidents of you bringing toys home when you weren’t supposed to. We think you didn’t realize that the teacher paid for the toys. Once we explained it, you just kept bringing home things you found in the sandbox. (Like a GPS tracker… What?)

You also had a spat of not washing your hands because you wanted to stay home sick. You felt pretty bad when you realized that it got the rest of the family sick too. I wasn’t impressed but I understood the logic.

The biggest thing you seem to not like about school is that you say you’re bored. Your reading is advanced in both languages, as is your math, and your logic. I understand. Hopefully you’ll feel more challenged in grade one.

I love watching your mind work. You’re brilliant and I have a lot of trouble following how you’re thinking. Hopefully, I’ll get better at it and you’ll get better at explaining.

I can almost see the person you’re going to become and I’m proud of him. Don’t hurry too fast, I’m still loving the snuggly, loving, and stubborn kid you are right now.

Six is a big year. You’ll do great. Hopefully we can help you thrive and guide you to good decisions.

I love you, little Pegasus!

Your Papa

“Escaped” by Pegasus

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A fairy tale, by Pegasus Desmarais

Once upon a time, in a kingdom far, far away, there lived a king with a daughter. She had lots of special powers, like healing, turning invisible, and being really good at hiding.

A witch heard about these special powers and wanted them for her own, so she snuck into the castle and stole the princess away! She turned the princess into a talking frog and put her in a tower, far away from the kingdom she had grown up in.

The witch told the princess that she had seven nights to figure out how to turn back into a human, or else she would remain a frog for all time, and her powers would belong to the witch.

The princess, on the first night, turned invisible and snuck out of the tower. She knew that if she made it back to her kingdom, she would return human.

Her journey home was fraught (my word lol) with danger.

She fought off a snake that wanted to eat her, but she escaped.

She was almost eaten by a crocodile, but she escaped.

She was almost eaten by a heron, but she escaped.

At long last, she made it to her kingdom.

The instant she crossed the border, she became human again, right before the clock struck midnight on the seventh night.

Her father was so happy to have her home once more.

The End

Dear Pegasus – Welcome to Level 5

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Dear Pegasus,

You’ve had an impressive year. You’ve grown in every way and I’m really proud of the person you’re becoming.

This year you’ve:

  • Done homeschool with Mum
  • Taught yourself to read (What?)
  • Learned to use a mouse and computer
  • Learned how to add and subtract
  • Done a lot of baking and cooking
  • Played video games
  • Learned the rules for Battleship

You are all signed up for school in September and I’m just as nervous with you as I was with your sister. I worry about teasing and you having trouble with kids your age. You have had so little time to learn how to play with kids that aren’t Dragon. I’m sure you’ll be fine.

Your big sister loves you, she might fight with you, yell at you, and sometimes go out of her way to get on your nerves, but she loves you. She wanted to go into your class for the first few days to make sure you’re okay. I hope that level of mutual concern continues. I never had anyone like that in school and I’m glad you two will be together for 4 years.

Dragon is more concerned about teasing and fitting in, but I’m also worried about your language and dealing with a real classroom where you’re not the centre of attention.

Before that happens, there’s a whole summer to get through. We have a big trip planned and you’re excited to get on the first plane you remember.

Something really special that I’m going to miss next year is spending time with you during the day. You would randomly ask me to read you a book (or 12) and snuggle into me. We’d play phone games and you just snuggle close.

You climbing into my lap and putting your head against my chest and demanding we do something is soothing and wonderful. I’m going to miss that with you at school all day and me coming home late 3 days a week.

You are stubborn in ways I’ve never seen before and sometimes you do things just because your sister does, but you are a joy to be around and I love you dearly.

Welcome to Level 5 and all the new challenges it’ll bring.

I love you lots!

Papa

Dear Dragon and Pegasus – April 2024

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Dear Dragon and Pegasus,

I wrote this letter already and it was eaten by a server problem. I’ll do my best to recreate it.

The weather in April, as it is now who knows what climate change will bring, has been pretty erratic in April. Two weeks ago we had a snowstorm and less then a week after we had several days above twenty. It’s interesting to see. Hopefully will have a nice May and summer. I look forward to gardening with you, especially now that Pegasus is old enough to help more so I get two helpers.

The school year has been fraught with sickness. We’ve all caught so many colds I’m not sure I can count them all. Hopefully next year will be better but with Pegasus going to in-person school, I doubt it.

This year has been quite the transition for you, Dragon (also for us), going to school full time, in-person. You’re excelling academically and you have friends. You’ve been dealing with bullying, nothing enough to call the school but its still bothering you. You have a very strong sense of what’s right. That’s a good thing but it means you’re really bothered by what’s happening. You’d think with the amount of bullying I survived in grade school I’d be better placed to help you. Unfortunately, I feel completely out of my depth. If it gets worse we’ll contact the teacher. The only advice I have is to ignore them and not let them see it bothers you.

It’s been a big year for you too, Pegasus. You’re being homeschooled by Mum and you’re doing great. You’re still resisting French but so did Dragon. I worry about how you’ll do at school with other kids. You’ve almost exclusively played with your sister and haven’t really played with kids your age. Hopefully, you’ll adapt as well as she did. You’re in your boundary pushing phase. You’re lying for silly reasons and stubbornly say no for silly reasons. Your sister went through it and it’ll pass (I hope). You’re also chewing your fingernails and putting toys in your mouth again. At this age, your sister was biting so I consider us lucky, however it makes me nervous about sending you out into the world.

Last week was an eclipse. Ottawa only got 98% I think, but we were nervous about the two of you so we watched it on TV. You weren’t super interested and both of you argued that it wasn’t getting darker despite the fact that it was.

There won’t be another total eclipse in driving distance of Ottawa in any of our lifetimes. Maybe we can all head to Disney World in 2045, that could be fun.

I love you Pegasus and Dragon,

Papa

Dear Pegasus – Welcome to level 4 (and 3)

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Dear Pegasus,

I’m sorry I forgot to write you a birthday letter last year. It was a hard time for me but that’s not an excuse.

You’ve had quite an exciting few years. You’ve grown so much in every way.

  • You’re starting to know your letters really well. You love sitting on someone’s lap and telling them what the letters on their shirts are.
  • You know your alphabet and can sing it in a very heavy metal style… you do this a lot.
  • You’re excellent at climbing.
  • You have a great ear for music.
  • You still give the best hugs and snuggles.

You’ve made the past few years infinitely better. Your kindness, empathy, and joy are always welcomed.

Don’t get me wrong, you’re still stubborn and have a hard time listening when you don’t want to. Our biggest hurdle right now is potty training. You really don’t want to do that… sigh.

This year you’ll be doing home schooling with mum. I think you’ll love that, but the schedule might be hard on you after so many years of doing whatever you want. I won’t miss you screaming, “I want to say hi!” while I’m in a meeting, but I will miss watching you play.

I love you little Pegasus. I hope this is a great year for you.

Papa

Carpal Tunnel Syndrome and Stress

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***TL:DR I have Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. Posts will be shorter and I might be doing some repeats. Guest Posts appreciated.***

Hello,

I’ve been a fool. Since February, my work has been fairly busy and regular. It’s a lot of short keys, typing, and mouse work. I’ve been having pain in my hands for a while now.

I wrote about it for the Spoonie Author’s Network. At the time, the Doctor thought it was the same arthritis that was in my big toes. After a year of tests he eliminated that option. We thought it was maybe tendinitis and he sent me to physio.

My prescription for physio was written in February 2020. I didn’t make it. I didn’t want to risk getting my children sick and was experiencing long covid. A few weeks turned into a few months and then a few years.

The pain came and went, but was usually worse when my hands were cold. So I didn’t worry. I kept thinking, “I’ll see my doctor about it when the pandemic is over.”

Fast forward to last November and I noticed my arms getting numb when I slept. (I sleep on my sides and it was the ones that I didn’t sleep on that went numb.) The pain got worse around Christmas, but got better after 2 weeks off.

Then we went into report season at work and I started writing a new book. So my days looked like this: Work 8 hours, Ukulele practice 15-45 minutes, and then 1-2 hours writing, formatting, etc. I’m also the primary diaper changer in the family… so… yeah.

The pain got worse and worse and I just kept thinking, “I’ll see my doctor about it when the pandemic is over.” and, “It’ll get better when I have less clicky work.”

Then Monday, I was told by my bosses that I had to come into the physical building of work. The meeting was tense and I won’t lie, I felt attacked. We’re so close to an infant vaccine for Pegasus… I asked if I could wait until September and they refused. “Isolating is a choice we made. Coming in to work is my responsibility.” That’s a paraphrase, but arg. I’m still angry.

I’m not sure what I did during that meeting to myself, but after, my pain in my arms and hands went from a 5 (Interrupts some activities) to 8 (Hard to do anything) the pain has been fluctuating from 6-8 since.

I made an appointment with my doctor, but he couldn’t see me until a week later. I was in tears as I tried to figure out what to do. I eventually decided to go to the after-hours clinic and saw a wonderful doctor. He diagnosed me with confidence after asking some insightful questions. He gave me two weeks off work, tests for my family doctor, and a prescription for splints to sleep with. Now it’s a waiting game. I’m seeing my doctor next week and so far, after 3-4 days, I’m still in a lot of pain. This post is taking forever to write, but I’m taking lots of breaks.

I’m worried that my reticence to see the doctor will result in permanent damage. It shouldn’t have taken a level 8 pain or my bosses showing how little they care about me to make me listen to my body and get help. The moment the pain started to increase, I should have made appointments.

I didn’t want to let my family down, I didn’t want to let myself down, and I didn’t want to let my work down. It was foolish! Work doesn’t care about me, they never really have, family only want me to be healthy, and I’m more disappointed now than if I had been treated earlier.

Expect this blog to have shorter posts (this took most of a day with breaks). I’ll let you know what happens.

At least I’m getting a lot of snuggles.

Stay safe and be kind,

Éric

Dear Pegasus – Dresses

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Dear Pegasus,

You were assigned male at birth, well actually, at ultrasound.

You’re still discovering what you like and who you are. Somedays peanut butter sandwiches are “disgusting” and other days they’re the best thing in the world.

There are some things that you are firm on for now; you love Doctor Who, blueberries, your sister, Encanto, and dresses.

A few weeks ago, you sat and had a serious conversation with your mum. You asked if you could wear a dress for your birthday. One of the pretty dresses that Grannie made.

I’m embarrassed to say that my first instinct was to say no. Your mum reacted quicker than I did and said yes with only a little hesitation. I was a little worried at first about how people would react, how family might react, but a few days later we got a dress from Grannie (who was overjoyed someone else would get to wear the dresses that she worked so hard on.)

You’ve worn a few dresses now and honestly, it doesn’t feel weird. I’m glad you get the chance to wear pretty things. It’s something I remember wanting to do when I was young, but felt too embarrassed to ask.

I asked you tonight if you thought you were a boy or a girl and you answered, “Neither. I’m Pegasus.” (Okay, you said your name, not Pegasus.) I asked if you wanted me to use he, she, or they and you repeated, “I’m just Pegasus.” So that was fine. We’ll revisit that another time.

I’m not sure if you’ll grow up wanting to wear dresses, realize your trans, or just not care and do what you want. We’ll support you no matter what.

I really hope the world you grow up in gets better. A lot of us are trying, but even the most progressive among us have to step back and think about what we’re doing. It’s also important to listen to those that have come before.

No matter what you decide, you’re our child and we love you,

Your trying Papa. (Yes, yes, in both senses of the word trying.)

Backyard transformation

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Hello My Imaginary Friends,

I have a bad habit. I like to feed the local wildlife every year. This is my eighth year gardening and other than a few times, I haven’t been extremely successful.

Dragon with a massive zucchini from 2017

That was the last year we were able to grow more than a few zucchini.

So I decided to completely revamp my garden and backyard.

Dragon modelling where we’re going to put the new pear tree.
Arial shot of my backyard.

I took apart all my boxes and spread the dirt across the yard before seeding white clover. I’d like a “lawn” of clover, mint, and dandelions.

Dragon and Pegasus lying in the bed. I guess they helped make it so…

We bought and built 3 new garden beds and set them up, re-purposing our old beds in new places.

The garden boxes are placed, now I just needed plants, dirt, and a tree.

I ordered dirt and a tree and then I just had to wait. I ordered a Flemish Beauty from Peter Knipple Garden Centre. I’m extremely happy with their work.

Our new tree, called Agent P or Peary the Pear Tree

Agent P looked a little sad to start with, but has perked up since. Maybe he knew that we were in for a severe thunderstorm later that afternoon.

With dirt and tree, I spent two weekends moving and planting and then everything was in.

A lot changed and I was still not done. Another arial view of an almost finished back yard.

The last part was adding the potatoes and I also added a chickenwire fence around the tree to protect it from the large rodents.

Final arial view of the back yard.

Now everything is in place. I’ve seeded more white clover and all I need now it to weed, wait, and water.

Let’s hope I’ll be able to harvest and eat things this year. At the very least, the herbs, spices, a chives, and rhubarb are killing it.

Stay safe and be kind,

Éric

Semi-Coherent Ramblings

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Hello My Imaginary Friends,

Last night, between Pegasus waking up several times (it’s been a while since he’s done that), insomnia, stress dream, and a couple of days of really bad allergies; I didn’t sleep well.

I’m a little grumpy today. Mumble mumble mumble. So I apologize for today’s disjointed post and possible incoherence.

Jen and I’s newest work in progess is going well. I love being able to plan and geek out about stuff with her as we write. Even if it means we don’t get to bed at anything related to a reasonable hour. I’m planning on writing a song for it and I’m terrified I’ll screw it up.

I read up on the plot, deaths, and story of the new Doctor Strange movie and I have to say it sounds pretty tedious. I loved WandaVision and from what I’ve read, it undoes a lot of the character progression of Wanda and falls into the “hysterical woman” trope that Marvel comics love so much. It’s a good thing Marvel releases so many movies because there are more and more of them that I don’t like.

I’m just waiting for a large bag of dirt that comes in on Friday and I’ll be able to plant my garden. Every year I say I won’t garden, and every year I do. I love the idea of growing my own food. Unfortunately, I only have a green thumb with the help of a marker.

Shamelessly cute photo of the kids.

Jen and I are prepping two manuscripts for submission and it’s a little stressful, but fun. Both are related to Assassins! Accidental Matchmakers (Pre-orders now open at your local bookstores for September 15th) and that makes it awkward for our publisher. They have to judge the quality, but also have to decide if it’s financially worth publishing a sequel and story collection without having any sales data. You could make their decision easier by pre-ordering it. 🙂

I’m not good at this whole publicity thing. I need to improve my ability to get people interested about my books. They are awesome, but if you don’t read them, how do you know you want to read them? Jen has all sorts of exciting ideas that are great.

I think I’ve rambled enough for today.

Stay safe and be kind,

Éric