Complicated Feelings about Pride

Hello Friends, Family, and Fans,

I was raised by my mom. I saw my dad occasionally, and although he had an influence on my upbringing, he wasn’t a big one. My mom raised me and she was very much a hippy. One thing that she did, and I’m not sure it was intentional, was to instill a deep mistrust of those that have pride.

I’m sure the ADHD didn’t help. I was always asking people why, and they usually just got angry. Especially when I would question national, cultural, school, language, or sports pride. Screaming “We’re Number 1!” has always seemed silly to me. I have respect for those that came before me and for the fact that me and my country are more privileged than others, but I’d never classify that as pride.

I’m not completely sure what the feeling of pride in that sense is like. I feel proud of my accomplishments, I’m proud of my family, and I’m proud of my friends. I’m also oddly proud of people I’ve barely met but who I like. But that feeling is a warm feeling of joy and satisfaction at their success, not an all consuming emotion the way I’ve seen it in others. If someone I’m proud of does something bad, I’m disappointed, and if they turn to hate, I grieve for losing them.

The concept of pride as I’ve seen it around me and portrayed in fiction seems more like blind faith or fanatical devotion. Something that deeply disturbs me.

2021 Intersex-inclusive redesign of the Progress Pride Flag by Valentino Vecchietti

This month is Pride Month, and that is a completely different type of pride. One i can understand much better than the one that people will be showing July 1st.

As you might know, I’m bisexual, and I haven’t had the greatest interactions about it. Both straight and gay people have told me I was “confused”, that I should just admit to being gay, jumping on the bandwagon, or just trying to get attention. It took a long time for me to find friends I was comfortable around and I still don’t feel comfortable in 2SLGBTQIA+ spaces.

All that being said, the pride in Pride Month is a feeling of grim determination and joy that we as a community have survived despite the ever-present hate. The first pride parade was a riot and a demand for basic human rights. Despite all the advancements we’ve made, we still have a lot of work to do.

This month, filled with rainbow capitalism, remember that it’s still illegal to be gay in 64 countries and same sex marriages are recognized in only 32 countries. In Canada, the US, and England, laws have recently passed that prioritize the rights of parents over those of queer and trans youth. In the past year, Ottawa has had multiple protests, some in front of schools, demanding that same sex and trans not be mentioned in the classroom.

We have a long way to go, and as you watch the community celebrate, remember the Pride Month isn’t about an irrational love and devotion, it’s about survival.

Stay safe and be kind,

Éric

Hate, Wrath, and Pride

Hello friends, family, and fans,

I truly think that people are fundamentally good but there are those who are consumed by hate. They justify their hate with religion, pseudo-science, anecdotes, or false-morality; but underneath it’s fear turned sour. They create an “other” that is wrong in some way and fixate on them to a terrifying level, dehumanizing entire groups of people and attacking them.

Over the past 15 years of blogging, I have tried to be honest, passionate, and open. Events in my life from the past year have made me rethink my online presence and advocacy. The anonymity of the internet can embolden those who hate to commit terrible acts.

Because of the current backlash against the 2slgbtqia+ community, it is important for those of us who can, to share our pride in our identities. I’ve mentioned before that I’m bisexual and this month is Pride month. So here I am, a queer-bisexual cis-man, who uses he/him pronouns.

I’m happy with who I am and proud of what I went through to get to here. If my pride and visibility can help others, then I have a responsibility to speak up.

If you only know a little about Pride, here are a few places to get some more information:

Stay safe and be kind,

Éric

Dear Pegasus – Dresses

Dear Pegasus,

You were assigned male at birth, well actually, at ultrasound.

You’re still discovering what you like and who you are. Somedays peanut butter sandwiches are “disgusting” and other days they’re the best thing in the world.

There are some things that you are firm on for now; you love Doctor Who, blueberries, your sister, Encanto, and dresses.

A few weeks ago, you sat and had a serious conversation with your mum. You asked if you could wear a dress for your birthday. One of the pretty dresses that Grannie made.

I’m embarrassed to say that my first instinct was to say no. Your mum reacted quicker than I did and said yes with only a little hesitation. I was a little worried at first about how people would react, how family might react, but a few days later we got a dress from Grannie (who was overjoyed someone else would get to wear the dresses that she worked so hard on.)

You’ve worn a few dresses now and honestly, it doesn’t feel weird. I’m glad you get the chance to wear pretty things. It’s something I remember wanting to do when I was young, but felt too embarrassed to ask.

I asked you tonight if you thought you were a boy or a girl and you answered, “Neither. I’m Pegasus.” (Okay, you said your name, not Pegasus.) I asked if you wanted me to use he, she, or they and you repeated, “I’m just Pegasus.” So that was fine. We’ll revisit that another time.

I’m not sure if you’ll grow up wanting to wear dresses, realize your trans, or just not care and do what you want. We’ll support you no matter what.

I really hope the world you grow up in gets better. A lot of us are trying, but even the most progressive among us have to step back and think about what we’re doing. It’s also important to listen to those that have come before.

No matter what you decide, you’re our child and we love you,

Your trying Papa. (Yes, yes, in both senses of the word trying.)

Steam Powered Giraffe

Hello Imaginary Friends,

There’s a lots of negative things going on (understatement I know). I was having a very hard time finding a topic for a post until I remembered that it was Pride and that we should be talking about fantastic LGBT+ creators.

Steam Powered Giraffe is a a fantastic musical group featuring some wonderful LGBT+ members.

Steam Powered Giraffe is a musical project from San Diego, California. It was formed in 2008 by twin siblings David Michael Bennett and Isabella “Bunny” Bennett. Together, along with a cast and crew filled with theatrical backgrounds, the group takes on the guise of singing antique automatons and the fictional robotics company that made them.

The quirky act combines comedic sketches, improvised android banter, and original music fused with multimedia visuals, billowing steam effects, and robot pantomime.

From their heartwarming nostalgic melodies to their funky cabaret rock, Steam Powered Giraffe’s songs are memorable, infectious, and as unique as the robots themselves.

More than just a band, Steam Powered Giraffe is an experience that must be seen and heard by the entire family.

https://steampoweredgiraffe.com/

Dragon used to break into smiles and dance every time their songs were played. (She still loves them.)

They are fantastically geeky, inclusive, and positive. All qualities that are comforting in these interesting times.

Be kind to each other,

Éric

Blush: Pride

Blush’s kickstarter is doing well, but we still have a long way to go, and about two weeks left! Please keep harassing your friends and family, and add neighbours into the mix! Let’s make this game a reality!

Pride flag. Image from i.telegraph.co.uk
Pride flag. Image from i.telegraph.co.uk

Algonquin College, my school, has their Pride Week this week. I had the opportunity to attend a workshop yesterday afternoon, given by the fantastic people at Venus Envy Ottawa (Facebook, Twitter), on Bi/Pan/Poly relationships. The speakers were very well educated and gave thoughtful and insightful answers to all our questions. I thoroughly enjoyed myself and learned a lot.

This is what Pride means to me. As an Ally, I sometimes feel adjacent to what the Pride movement stands for. I loved the inclusiveness that taking part in something as minor as a workshop gave to me. On top of feeling as though I belonged, I was able to learn more about how to respect people in those relationships previously mentioned, and how to break through the myths surrounding the stereotypes.

Pride Week, to an Ally like me, is about education on different types of relationships and sexualities. It is about showing support and respect to everyone. It is about welcoming other human beings and accepting them for who they are.

Thank you for such a great workshop. I definitely won’t forget it!

Algonquin’s Pride Week will continue today and tomorrow, and has various workshops free to the public. Check out their calendar of events here.