Morning,
Can-Con was a lot of fun. I had been reconsidering going next year but after this weekend, I’m looking forward to it. I was greeted warmly by lots of people I really like and respect. Some of them I hadn’t expected, and it made me feel way more welcome than I’ve ever remembered.
It was a nice weekend filled will great people and a really chill vibe.
Thank you to everyone who came to talk and I look forward to seeing you all next year.
Stay safe and be kind,
Éric
Hello Friends, Family, and Fans;
Last Saturday we had our book launches and birthday party. It was a lot of fun. I’d like to thank those that came: it really meant the world to see you at our first in-person launch since the pandemic started.
The launch was great, but with every event comes stress. I also made a mistake with my meds that meant I went without any of my migraine meds for the weekend. Between the two things, I’m really wiped out. Thankfully I’d taken this week off for my vacation.
I had BIG plans for my vacation but mostly I’ve rested and played some video games.
The event plus the pills really showed me how much the accommodations plus medication have been helping me. It’s frustrating that a little slip and something I was excited for can make me feel so out of it and sad. It’s a form of Con-drop. Basically, the adrenaline plus happy chemicals are so elevated that your brain can’t keep up and actually has a deficit for a little while. For those of us with brains that don’t like producing those chemicals (like people with ADHD) it can really be hard to bounce back.
So don’t worry about me. I’ll be okay, I just need time.
Now, I’m off to enjoy the last day of my vacation.
Stay safe and be kind,
Éric
Hello Friends, Family, and Fans;
As a kid, my mom complained that I never wanted to get out of the bath, pool, or lake.
Unfortunately, I got ear infections every time I went into a pool until I was in high school.
Because of that, I never got formal swimming lessons. My mom taught me in the local lake. I don’t remember it, but she must have been a good teacher.
When I first met my wife, one of our first dates was at the local YMCA where she worked as a lifeguard. She challenged me to a race. I knew I was going to lose, she was a lifeguard, swim instructor, and a great swimmer (still is). She of course did win but I held my own, only a few strokes behind. (I think she took it easy on me.)
Not sure if she did it as a test or not, but in hindsight, I think it’s a good one. How a person handles losing or winning tells you a lot about them. I was impressed by how good a winner she was.
I still have issues with chlorine, bromine, and other chemicals in pools. It makes me itch, and if I have a cut, it swells and burns. If I don’t take a shower within a few hours, I start to feel a little weak.
Despite that reaction, my muscles and body always feel better after being in the water. I feel more relaxed and less stressed. (Maybe I’m a child of Poseidon?)
Anyways, here’s a cute picture of Dragon and Pegasus jumping into the pool:
Be kind and stay safe,
Éric
Hello Friends, Family, and Fans;
Everything is currently trying to reproduce and I’m not a fan. My allergies have been really bad, which means I’m extra tired and weak on top of cold-like symptoms. Not fun. But I’ve already written about that: It’s Just Allergies and Allergies, Life, and Writing.
Every year, I try to distract myself from all these allergens by creating more and gardening.
This year I’ve added two planters and I’m planning on growing: beans, peas, zucchini, chives, rhubarb, cherry tomatoes, large tomatoes, pumpkins, dill, lemon thyme, hot and sweet peppers, and rosemary. As if that’s not enough, I’m planning on getting a purple flowering raspberry bush, an elderberry bush, citronella, and as much milkweed as I possibly can.
I’m hoping to grow the pumpkins along a trellis and get little baby hanging pumpkins.
With the fatigue though, it’s hard to motivate myself. I’m trying to do a little each day and try to avoid burning out. I’m so happy that Jen, Dragon, and Pegasus are willing to help.
Stay safe and be kind,
Éric
Hello Friends, Family, and Fans,
Sometime in the end of November, Dragon got sick again with her third cold. It quickly passed to Pegasus and to my mother-in-law. Jen and I were mysteriously unaffected.
Then I got a tickle in my throat and HUNGRY. As long as I can remember, when I start a non-vomiting cold, I get ridiculously hungry. Maybe my body is trying to get things ready for a bad cold.
By Saturday December 2nd, I was sick. I had trouble eating, moving, and talking. I tried to drink water as much as possible. Soon it was getting hard for me to breathe and both kids were still feeling it. We saw our family doctor on the 5th and I was prescribed a puffer and tests. Jen had a tickle by that point.
My nights were spent coughing and trying to force air into my lungs. In the Thursday as I was about to get a chest x-ray, my watch beeped and said something like, “You’re at rest and your heart rate just jumped, are you okay?”
Friday the 8th, I was sitting on the couch feeling my heart beat fast and not able to catch my breath. Finally Jen said, “Maybe you should go to the hospital?”
I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to leave my house and comfort, but my chest hurt. Jen called 911.
The ambulance took me to the Civic hospital where we found out:
All of which was being caused by severe case of RSV and mild pneumonia.
At the hospital, they tried to shock my heart back into normal rhythm (twice) but it didn’t work. They gave me an IV with multiple medicines to help bring my heart rate down and by Saturday afternoon it was in the low 100’s.
The rest of the weekend was spent coughing, hooked up to machines, and eating way too much crushed ice. The hospital staff took amazing care of me and I would be dead right now if not for them.
I was released on Monday, with pills that would control my heart rate, vitamin D supplements, and a plan to look in on me. They assure me the heart rate won’t be an issue once I get over the cold and I’ll be back to normal. (There was a hiccup with one of my IV sites getting infected, but I’m on antibiotics now.)
Now I need to recover. I’m still sick with RSV. I have no voice, my nose leaks, I’m coughing all night, I feel weak and dizzy. Several times I’ve worried about collapsing ,but I’m getting stronger.
Jen really stepped up and even through her own sickness (much shorter and milder than the rest of ours thankfully) made sure the kids and house were taken care of. I’m really proud of her.
We had a lot of support. My in-laws have been stalwart helpers, drivers, and kid herders. We also have amazing friends and neighbours who checked in and made sure we were okay. Thank you!
My work has also been super understanding and accommodating.
As of this writing (Thursday evening) I still have but a whisper for a voice and I’m easily tired, not to mention coughing, but I do feel better. It’s going to be a long, slow recovery for me.
Stay safe and be kind,
Éric
Dear Dragon and Pegasus,
The past few weeks you’ve both been disturbingly “down with the sickness“. Dragon brought home a cold and it wasn’t long before Pegasus caught it; he always wants to do what his big sister is doing.
Just when we thought the cold was under control, Dragon went to school… for a couple days before calling home with a sore tummy. She vomited twice on the way home.
So we went to CHEO (which Dragon kept calling CHEREO for some reason.) Mum was with her for the first part of the ten hour wait and I was for the rest. It was exhausting and because of her non-standard symptoms, they missed that she had an ear infection. Dragon, sadly, missed Halloween because of it.
Two days later, her ear hurt and we went to the after-hours clinic. (Mum adds: MUCH faster than the hospital, but we had thought she had broken a rib or something and would need x-rays!) They figured out the ear infection and sent her home. The antibiotics seem to be helping, but it’s slow and the upset stomach, dizziness, and nausea are still there.
As previously mentioned, Pegasus insists on doing everything his older sister does and got himself an ear infection too. So off to the clinic on Sunday for him. Antibiotics are started and hopefully he’ll feel better soon.
The two of you spent a long time not getting sick because of COVID isolation and I forgot how hard it is watching you be sick. I feel completely helpless and I hate it. I’m the parent, I should have all the answers right?
I hope you feel better soon.
So far, Mum and I are still okay. Tired and ragged, but okay.
I love you my little Dragon and Pegasus,
Papa
Hello family, friends, and fans,
Some weeks are hard. This was one of those weeks. I’ve been working through a lot of emotions. Among them is the fact that I’m still in pain. I know that a new physio for two weeks isn’t going to fix everything, but I was secretly hoping.
Let’s break this down into categories:
I’m currently finishing the longest running project I’ve ever had (started in 2016) and I’m really hoping to be done by summer. It’s going slowly, mostly because of pain, and I worry it’s crap but at least I’m having fun writing it.
I’m trying my best to be a good father and a good husband. I know that I haven’t always been perfect; I’m a little whiny and I over explain and analyze everything but I’m trying. This week I’ve felt like I’m not enough and that’s really frustrating.
I have a similar issue at work. I think it’s time for me to find something new. I’m fairly certain that within a year, my position will be cut and after 15 years, it’s time to do something new. The problem with that is because of my health issues and lack of return to full time work, it’s not easy for me to convince anyone to hire me. So I feel a little trapped.
I’m seeing a team consisting of a physiotherapist, kinesiologist, and occupational therapist. They are trying to help me get back to work.
While they’re doing that, I have an MRI for my head, neck, and back set up for mid July.
My father’s birthday was earlier this month. He passed away at the age of 47 from brain cancer.
He was 40 when he was diagnosed. Considering my health issues, it’s hard for me not to worry about this year. (I’m turning 40 in July.)
It’s one of the reasons I’m really glad that I got that MRI. At the very least we’ll know something. The MRI should be able to detect brain lesions from MS or brain tumours. Hopefully there’s nothing to find.
With all of the above I’m struggling, but my occupational therapist is helping me find coping mechanisms and to rationalize instead of spiralling. That part is helping and I’m trying to be kind to myself.
How have you been?
Be kind and stay safe,
Éric
Hello,
Looks like today is my last day of vacation. It’s sad but I’ll take another week at the end of June and then hopefully another in mid July. Those will be better. It’ll be nice to spend time with the kids.
I’m going to enjoy my last day by spending time with my kids, playing videogames, and maybe I’ll take them to Walmart and check out the discount chocolate.
Later days,
Éric
Hello Friends, family, and fans;
As I mentioned in March, I did the nerve conduction test with a very condescending neurologist.
Yesterday I had an appointment at the speciality clinic. My very nice occupational therapist (OT) went through a bunch of questions and asked me about a bunch of things. She then did some physical tests and went off to talk to the doctor.
I told her I was worried about the vision problems and the numbness in my face and my worries about MS. She said she’d talk to the doctor. She also said that that was normally something a family doctor dealt with and not them. They are concentrating on the neurologist’s conclusion that it’s muscular.
The doctor came in and asked me more questions and then asked, “What is bothering you more.” I told him it was the pain that bothered me more, but the face that scared me more. His reply was, “Okay then. Let’s focus on the pain.”
So the plan now is to have me see a doctor that specializes in pain and put me with a group consisting of a physiotherapist, a therapist, and my OT. They’ll run special rehab and physio for me two or three times a week. I’m kinda happy about that, since it’ll save us some money on physio that is only covered 80% usually.
I’ll be honest, I’m a little underwhelmed. It’s been 10 months of this and I haven’t had an x-ray or any other tests on the part of my arms that hurt. I’ve had one type of test, no imaging, and this feels very flimsy as a diagnosis. (Is it wrong that I want something definitive?)
The clinic people are really nice and I think they have my best interests at heart, but I feel like they’re focussed on getting me back to work and not really figuring out what’s wrong with me.
I asked again about MS and the OT said that if there had been any signs, the neurologist would have noticed and that the doctor is trusting that. It’s not very comforting, but I’ll have to trust them for now.
I doubt the balance issues, clumsiness, brain fog, trouble sleeping, numbness in my face, and vision issues are due to muscular issues in my arms. I’ll do what they say (I don’t have much choice) and hope it helps, but I’m not convinced. If this doesn’t help, I’ll have to try and see if my family doctor is willing to run a parallel investigation (if he hasn’t fully retired by then).
It’s been a hard week. Glad it’s over and now I can enjoy spending time with my family over the long weekend.
Stay safe and be kind,
Éric
Hello My Imaginary Friends,
This week has been tough but I managed to accomplish a lot and still took some time to rest. Heck, I even finished the book I’ve been reading.
Anyway, it’s late, so have some cute Dragon and Pegasus cuddling.
Stay safe and be kind,
Éric
