The Masks

Hello Family, Friends, and Fans;

Let’s talk about The Masks… no, not that one…

Jim Carrey in The Mask

What’s a Mask?

A person masks when they don’t feel safe or comfortable being themselves. It’s a persona that you put on that isn’t quite you.

Queer Mask

Nathan Lane and Robin Williams in The Birdcage.

I grew up in a small town at the end of the twentieth century and any form of Queer was frowned upon. Gay was not something people were allowed to be. It was a schoolyard insult along with all it’s pejoratives. The few examples of bisexuality I saw in media were quickly erased (Willow from Buffy) or just there to titillate (Mirror Universe DS9).

That means as a teen I wore a mask of “straight male”; even if I didn’t fully understand who I was, I knew I wasn’t allowed to mention how cute Brendan Fraser was, wear too bright colours, stand with my hip out, walk with too much hip movement, like romantic comedies, or a million other things that would make people call me gay.

Despite having a very supportive family and an aunt who was gay, the society at the time was oppressive.

I’m still working on dropping this mask and I’ve mostly managed to shrug it off, but I still fall back on it when meeting new people. A lot of people, especially in the 2SLGBTQIA+ community still have prejudices against bisexuals.

Neurodivergent Mask

Hugh Laurie in House.

I’m still learning about neurodivergent masking but think of it like trying your best to not freak people out but those same people never tell you what freaks them out. Instead, you learn by people avoiding you, telling you you’re annoying, making fun of you, calling you names that trivialize mental health, call you a know-it-all, or nerd.

My natural expression is mostly neutral and I was teased for it by kids and teachers in grade school. In high school, I decided that I would show my emotions outwardly more. At first it was exhausting but after a few years it became second nature. Now when I’m with friends I still fall back into the, what feels like, over exaggerated part of me.

It’s just one thing that I have trained myself to do to avoid conflict or trouble. No one mistakes you for serious when you say sarcastic things in an exaggerated voice.

As much as I’ve masked in this way, I’m not great at keeping my infodumping or chattiness in check, to the point that I’ve had co-workers and bosses laugh about it. Because of autism, I’m never sure if they’re laughing at me or just laughing, and the Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria tells me it’s always laughing at me.

Geek Mask

Jaleel White and Kellie Shanygne Williams in Family Matters.

Most likely tied to the other two is my nerdy/geeky side. I’m the absolute worst at hiding this but in grade school I was mocked incessantly for liking things. Seriously strange that our society likes to mock people for liking things. I had a Jurassic Park sweater that I would have worn until it died if I hadn’t been shamed into never wearing it.

Most new people, unless I’m at a geeky event, won’t hear about my geeky side. Not until they bring something up that triggers a mini rant or discussion.

It’s the mask that has never been worn with family and rarely with close friends. I will nerd out about all kinds of things.

What it means to unmask

Robert Downey Junior as Doctor Doom

Unmasking is the idea of being yourself and doing what makes you feel comfortable rather than what makes others comfortable. I’ve been trying my best to do this at home and be myself completely but there are still things that I have trouble letting myself be.

It’s also really exhausting to constantly analyze who’s safe, who isn’t, and about what. Some are okay with Bi people but think D&D is weird, others are fine with board games but think getting easily distracted is a personal weakness. When I say social interactions are exhausting, that’s what I mean. It’s hard hiding.

I know I’m privileged and safer than most, but that doesn’t change my experiences and traumas around who I am and how I hide it.

That’s what I mean when I talk about masking.

Stay safe and be kind,

Éric

Accidental Family – JenEric Movie Review

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Hello Cinephiles,

Today we’re talking about the 2021 film Accidental Family.

Story

A twist on While You Were Sleeping without the creepy coma stuff. The movie does a great job at setting everything up, but tries too hard to include conventions from comedy, drama, and romance movies.

Score: 0.5

Characters

The main character is the standard nerdy/quirky, supposedly shy, leading lady. She’s sympathetic but a little generic. She is shown to be good at her job which is something I feel is often forgotten in rom-coms.

The rest of the cast is okay with some cringe scenes that could have been better acted.

Score: 0.5

Dialogue

I found a lot of the dialogue heavy handed. Hearing the girlfriend admit over the phone that she’s just using him for his house was a convenient way to make us dislike her but it wasn’t needed.

The romantic banter is cute and only a little weird because they think they’re 3rd cousins.

The heartfelt moments were well done.

I loved the narrator/angel.

Score: 0.5

Visuals and Music

The camera work is good and the locations are well picked. I really appreciated the props for the chests.

The music did it’s job but was not memorable.

Score: 0.5

Fun

The movie was a calm-ish rom-com. I wasn’t expecting the death and it wasn’t a fun surprise. The rest was cute and enjoyable. The family enjoyed it.

I really hate puking scenes, especially played for laughs. I’m even less of a fan since my 4yo has been going around pretending to puke on people since we watched it.

Score: 0.5

Overall

A mostly inoffensive and mildly enjoyable romantic comedy that takes a dip too far into drama for my liking. Worth a watch if you like rom-coms or dramady films.

Final Score: 2.5 Stars out of 5

Going Home in a Writer Sort of Way

Hello Readers,

I’ve started re-reading The Copper Tarnish. I started the novel in November 2016 and took several breaks from working on it. I’ve finished six books since then. I’ve worked on it a little here and there, but it stalled when Pegasus was born and I devoted myself to finishing The Mystery of the Dancing Lights (Elizabeth book 4, coming this fall.)

The big issue with not touching a book for nearly three years (whoa Pegasus is going to be 4 soon!) is that I forgot the story, the characters and the voices.

That meant I needed to read the unfinished book, something I’m not good at. I haven’t been reading very much lately, mostly because it’s hard on my arms, but my wonderful wife inspired me. I loaded the document in Word and used the feature where it reads it to me. I set it to fast and read along. It’s really helpful and I think it’s helping me to re-connect with the story and characters.

I’m also really liking the story and the pure snark of the characters.

The Copper Tarnish is my attempt at a monster movie style story. It’s also a little more personal, being about a bisexual in Northern Ontario. Although I never had to deal with zombie people, green goo, aliens, or rogue goverment agents.

A lot of the book is set in a fictional town that’s an amalgam of the towns where I grew up, and re-reading feels a little like going home. Everything feels smaller and doesn’t fit right.

It’s weird reading something I wrote and it feels like someone else did it. I think once I get back into it I’ll feel like it’s mine again.

I’m hoping to be done writing this by the end of summer (more realistically the end of year) so I can submit it to my publisher. I only have about 20 thousand words left to write.

Thanks for reading,

Éric

Top 5 Insults that are kinda silly

Hello Thinking People,

What a long decade… Wait, it’s only the third year of this decade? Damn.

One of things that I’ve noticed lately is that there’s a lot of insults flying around on the internet. Not all insults are made equal and sometimes they just completely miss their mark.

Nothing will beat the man who said I was argumentative and headed toward divorce. That was really entertaining.

The following insults have been used on me in the past few years and honestly, they just don’t bite as much as people think.

5. Brainwashed

a forcible indoctrination to induce someone to give up basic political, social, or religious beliefs and attitudes and to accept contrasting regimented ideas

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/brainwash

I hope they used good soap.

This is honestly the closest to being used properly, but yelling at someone on the internet that they just don’t understand because they’ve been braiwashed…. It’s silly. Feels like a teenage tantrum.

4. Radical Leftist / Antifa

a person or group actively opposing fascism

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/antifa

I am unequivocally against fascism.

Somehow this became tangled up as an opposite version of Nazis. Does anyone who uses this as an insult, truly love fascism? I really don’t get it.

The radical right wants to kill people, the radical left wants to kill inequality, hate, and poverty. I don’t see those as equal.

3. Woke / SJW (Social Justice Warrior)

aware of and actively attentive to important facts and issues (especially issues of racial and social justice)

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/woke

There’s a lot of talk about science fiction becoming woke, or woke politics. It’s another way of saying, “Hey, that person there wants social progress.” When someone calls me woke, I want to tell them thank you.

All joking aside, I think being attentive to the inequalities and issues experienced by others is important. We all have our own colonial, racist, and normative baggage to deal with and keeping an open mind is important.

2. Cuck

So this one is a shortform for Cuckold which means. “a man whose wife is unfaithful.” It’s taken the same meaning as beta-male or soy boy. Effectively, it means effiminate and useless man.

It’s a favourite with the incel movement and really just makes me laugh. There’s something delightfully silly about a bunch of whiny men using a word that is so close to cock as an insult.

Beyond the fact that there’s nothing inherently wrong or weak about being effeminate, it really is a borrowed antique word that is near meaningless.

1. Simp

The word used to mean simple, basicly another abelist slur toward mental disabilities. It’s lately evolved into a verb meaning to do too much for a person you like.

The first time I was called this, I had to check urban dictionary (shudder) and just couldn’t believe that being a loving and attentive romantic partner was considered an insult.

I’ve even seen people use gifs of Gomez Adams to say someone is a simp.

I’d gladly be compared to Gomez… A loving father and husband who thinks of others and works towards the betterment of his family.


In all honesty, sometimes these things get to me. Mostly because I have trouble understanding how people can weigh a human life as less important than money, or just not listen to those that are affected.

I’m not perfect and I’m still trying to learn, but I’m fairly sure calling me silly names on the internet won’t help your cause.

Stay safe and be kind,

Éric

Weird Coincidence or Did I Inspire a Name

Hello My Imaginary Friends,

Last night Jen and I were procrastinating and we searched for Everdome in Google. What came up was mostly Everdome.IO. It’s some sort of virtual reality world that’s connected to cryptocurrency. I’ll be honest, I don’t fully understand what it is, but it’s pretty and uses Unreal Engine 5, which is amazing.

I didn’t think anything about it until Jen came across a Reddit post:

A screenshot from the site Reddit
The original post reads: A book written by Eric Desmarais, about Everdome which idea Rob took to create Hero and Everdome. https://www.amazon.com/-/es/Éric-Desmarais-ebook/dp/B07W19ZHF8/ref=nodl_
The link leads to the Amazon.com link in spanish for my book Everdome.

There are two posts on reddit about the book inspiring someone called Rob.

When I looked into who created it, I found the CEO was called Robert Gryn. I looked into the site and it looks like it was launched in Fall 2021.

For context, my book came out in 2019. Now other than the name, the site and the book have nothing in common. The site is science-fiction and is 1 big dome while the book is fantasy and has multiple domes created when the planet exploded.

So I did what any cheeky author would do and I tweeted the following:

I was promptly followed by a fake account with the same name but nothing else has happened.

I find it wild that I might have influenced something so large. It’s really cool.

Then again it could be pure coincidence.

If it isn’t a coincidence, I’m more flattered than anything else. Titles and names are not copyrighted. If the site had taken plot or world building from the book that would be different, but just the name is fine. I could have trademarked it but it’s not worth the cost and effort at this point.

If you want to find out what the book is about, it’s available at all major bookstores and ebook retailers.

Everdome

Or get a signed copy on our store.

It’s a wild world.

Stay safe and be kind,

Éric

Love in Lost Places – Proof-of-Concept

People told me that weird things happen in Baker City, Ontario, but I never really believed them until my second year at Baker City University.

“Just text her already,” Simon said, pushing the scrap of paper towards me over our hand me down IKEA dining room table. He tilted his head and smirked mischievously before passing his hands through his short cropped reddish brown hair. His dark skin was speckled with the most adorable freckles that mirrored the colour of his eyes.

“That’s impersonal. Shouldn’t I call?” I was stalling and we both knew it; nobody just called.

“Dude? Seriously. I go through all this trouble to get you the number of the only girl you’ve had a crush on since first semester and you won’t text her?”

He wasn’t wrong. She was in most of my classes and was one of those people who attracted the eye. She wore lots of colour, especially in her hair, and everything she did or said was the most important thing imaginable.

He also wasn’t right. She wasn’t the only crush I’ve had, but I don’t think he’d figured out that I liked him.

Taking my phone, he typed in the number and sent a text. “Hi Zoey”

We both sat staring at my phone waiting for a reply. It came faster than I expected. “I DON’T HAVE ANY FERRETS!”

Simon and I looked at each other confused and I picked up the phone to say, “It’s Harry… We have Can-Lit together.” I pressed send and then quickly added, “Just wanted to say hi… and I think I’m allergic to ferrets.”

“Oh Harry… Blond guy who wears a lot of plaid?”

“That’s me”

“Sorry about that. Someone keeps texting me about ferrets. It’s bloody annoying.”

I wasn’t sure what to say to that. My first instinct was to apologize for bothering her. While I hesitated, Simon grabbed my phone and wrote, “I was wondering if you’d like to go out for coffee sometime?”

“Sure, Meet at Café Nation on Bank at 4?”

“Great. See you there.” I shoved my phone into the pocket of my jeans to avoid Simon adding anything.

It was already three fifteen so after a high five from Simon I rushed to take a shower. As I got out of the shower I put on a fresh pair of jeans and my favourite red and gray plaid shirt. I ran out of the apartment convinced I’d be late.

I was a block away from Café Nation when I realized I’d left my phone in my other pants. I walked into the Café and saw the big coffee bean shaped clock read five to four. I wasn’t late, I was actually early. I took a few deep breaths to calm myself. The smell combination of chocolate cake and brewing coffee helped soothe me a little and I sat down to wait.

Five minutes after four she came in, her hair was fuchsia this week, and walked right by me. She was wearing a dark blue skirt with constellations on it and a white sweater. I stood up and walked behind her and said, “Hey Zoey. Can I buy you a coffee?”

Looking back at me startled, her brow furrowed, she opened her mouth to say something and paused. Finally her posture relaxed and she smiled. “Harry right? Sorry, I didn’t recognize you right away. I’ve been just so frazzled by this ferret thing. I’m so glad Simon gave you my number.”

We spent the next half hour chatting and having a great time. Around fifteen to five Zoey looked at her phone and said, “I have to call my mom. Something’s going on.” She stood up and walked to the front of the café. I took the opportunity to go to the washroom.

As I came out of the washroom Zoey was nowhere to be seen. I chatted with the barista as I waited. When she finally came back she’d tied her pink hair into a pony tail and changed her sweater.

“How’s your mom?” I asked.

“She’s okay. She just needed to talk it out. Sorry about flaking out on you. How about we go to dinner? I’ve had enough coffee today.”

That night when I finally got back to my phone I had an email from Zoey saying, “I had a nice time. Sorry I disappeared but my mom needed my help urgently. We should do this again sometime. Next time’s my treat.”

I also had a text from her earlier that day saying, “My mom’s freaking out be there soon.”

This all seems perfectly normal right? Boy crushes on roommate, oblivious roommate hooks boy up with girl; a typical twenty something romantic comedy.

Well, here’s where it get’s weird…

Simon typed in the wrong number, putting a one instead of a seven at the end. What are the chances of two women, going to the same university, were both called Zoey with a penchant for bright colours? I don’t know, but this is how I accidentally dated two women who had never met and were almost identical.

Screens, Screens Everywhere!

Hello My Imaginary friends,

I hope you enjoyed last week’s instalment of Only Human. If you haven’t been reading the serial story, go check it out.

I’ve had a crazy busy day this morning at work. I work for the government and they have recently started upgrading our equipment. It means big changes in the way we work. For one thing I no longer have the time to nap when my computer boots up. It actually boots in under 5 minutes. So weird!

It also means that older, and now more expensive, equipment is being phased out, particularly landlines. Who would have imagined that cellphones would someday be cheaper for offices than landlines? Seriously weird!

Unfortunately with better tech comes better firewalls and that means I can no longer load TV shows onto my computer to watch while I work. For that reason I started bringing my personal tablet to work. I work way better with something playing in the background.

Because I’m a web/print designer I have two large screens. When they upgraded the computers they choose Microsoft Tablets. Surface Pro 3 I think. It has a dual core i5 and 4 gigs of ram, which is awesome for the government.

One of the interesting side effects of the Surface is that you can use it as a second, or in my case third, screen.

So for those of you counting at home, I now have 6 screens at my desk. My two work monitors, work computer, work phone, personal phone, and personal tablet.

I personally think all these new technologies are exciting and will ultimately help me do my work more efficiently. I love new tech but it’s really funny to see all this stuff on a desk designed for 1 CRT monitor.

We’re also moving to newer more modern offices which will be exciting. I’ll finally be able to work standing up, which I hear is better for you.

So in short, lots of screens.

What tech would help make your work more efficient?

Later days,

Éric