You’re the Victim of the Worst Prank in History

Hi,

If you know me, you know that I hate pranks. Part of that might be because of the fact that every day is April Fools for my brain. As a side effect of depression, I get a lot of cognitive distortion. Basically, my brain lies to me and tells me I suck.

I’ve been known to tell my wife, “I understand what you’re saying but I don’t feel it.”

I’m not alone and it’s not just people with depression. It’s probably happened to you.

Now I know I’m just some writer on the internet, but I want you to understand a few things. No matter what that little voice says, someone loves you, someone wants you to live, and someone looks up to you.

Don’t fixate on those that hate, they’re wrong. They’ll always be wrong because hate is wrong.

The world needs people who feel and people who care.

In the end, if nothing else, know that I care. I might not know you, but I would be sad at hearing something happened to you.

The world is slowly starting to realize that humanity isn’t binary and that has garnered a lot of backlash. The backlash is just as wrong as our lying brains and we need to realize that in order to know when it’s happening.

If you need help, please reach out. If not to the official channels below than to a friend or family member.

If you are concerned about your mental health or someone else, speak to your health care provider or check out the Mental Health and Substance Use Resource List. For information about mental health about your infant, child or youth, please visit our Parenting in Ottawa mental health page.

If you are in crisis, contact the Mental Health Crisis Line (24 hours a day/7 days a week) at 613-722-6914 or if outside Ottawa toll-free at 1-866-996-0991.

If you have a youth in crisis, contact the Youth Services 24/7 Crisis Line (24 hours a day/7 days a week) at 613-260-2360 of if outside Ottawa toll-free at 1-877-377-7775.

If you (or your child) are experiencing thoughts of suicide or harming yourself, call 9-1-1.

https://www.ottawapublichealth.ca/en/public-health-topics/mental-health.aspx

Please be kind to yourselves and don’t listen to the lies, especially those you tell yourself.

Éric

Lunar Baboon – Waiting

The Court Jester – JenEric Movie Review

How This Works – Read Other Reviews

Hello Cinephiles,

Today we’re talking about the 1955 film The Court Jester.

Story

The story is quite clever and a lot of the humour is based on it being an amalgam of all the constant Robin Hood remakes; something that hasn’t changed much since this movie came out.

The romance is acceptable but contrived and the pacing is a little off in many places.

Score: 0.5

Characters

Most of the characters are well done. The stereotype use of Little People with ridiculously high voices is annoying, but very much a product of its time.

Despite having a woman who is supposed to be a fighter, Jean is pretty useless in the final fight.

I would have liked to see more than a few seconds at the end dedicated to the princess and Griswold’s love story.

And I’ll be honest, I’m still bitter about poor Fergus. He deserved more.

Score: 0.5

Dialogue

Both the language and the delivery of this movie is amazing. “Get it, Got it, Good” is a staple in our house.

The Jester’s monologue song The Maladjusted Jester, along with all the wordplay, cement this as one of the cleverest movies of it’s type.

Score: 1

Visuals and Music

The movie is simple and has some nice visuals, but nothing spectacular. It shows that it was a comedy and not given the budget of a bigger movie. That said, they use it quite well and the sets are nice, the fight scenes amazing, and the choreography fantastic.

I truly appreciate the use of colour in the clothing which was probably done more for the fact that it was a comedy, but is more authentic.

The film score is fun and interesting, but the songs are great.

Score: 1

Fun

I saw this movie with my wife on our second or third date. It’s been a staple in our house for nearly two decades. I love watching this and hearing her laugh.

The kids had a little harder a time sitting still, probably because the dialogue was more elevated and quick on top of the pacing issues I mentioned.

Score: 1

Overall

Despite this movie being dated, especially by it’s treatment of woman and Little People, it is extremely clever, witty, and downright hilarious. A classic of musical comedies and parodies.

Final Score: 4 Stars out of 5

Guitar Lessons Part 34

Jan 16: Audience again

I wasn’t going to play today. My back was in more pain than usual today.

And then I got to my parent’s house and was like… You know what? I’ll play for a bit.

So I borrowed my dad’s full-size, tuned it, and then played my songs. I also tried playing Mirabel’s miracle song from Encanto. I also played La Da Dee by Cody Simpson, just to get it stuck in my husband’s head. 😈 Mwahahaha!

Jan 17: Short

I had ten minutes to play today.

I played my songs (on my guitar) and wow, one day away from my thin, metal strings REALLY makes a difference. My fingers hurt.

After that, I only had time for one more song, and my daughter requested Kiss the Girl.

Well, technically, she first requested my new song.

I told her I needed at least twenty minutes to write the music for it.

I would say that’s a joke, but that’s how long it took for me to write the music for my second song.

Jan 18: Frustrating

Sometimes it feels like I’ve stalled; like I’ve hit the limit of what I can learn by myself.

Today was one of those days.

I played my songs, made mistakes, got frustrated.

Not a great day today.

Jan 19: Song stuck in my head

I have had a song stuck in my head since yesterday. It stayed with me even in my dreams.

Wanna know what song it is? 😈

It’s ok. I won’t tell you, no, no, no.

So I played La Da Dee to try to get it out of my head.

Spoilers: it didn’t work.

I also played my songs. I made a couple mistakes. I think I should record myself soon so that I can listen to the strum rhythms better and make sure that they’re actually doing what I want them to do.

My husband checked my posture while I was standing, and I’m doing it right! Well, most people seem to have the guitar slightly lower (like an inch) on their torso, but we decided that most of those musicians are shorter than I am.

Jan 20: Challenge!

My learning app had new challenges posted today. I did the chord and melody ones (lower level) and omg I did so well!? I didn’t even have to look at my hand when I changed chords! I felt so good about that.

Then I played the usual Sugar Plum Fairy song and I got gold stars on the middle part!!! First time I succeeded at that!! I’m so proud of myself!

I played my songs once each, trying to listen to the rhythms.

I’ve decided that the first song, Get to Know You, isn’t supposed to have a proper rhythm. I mean, the character wrote the lyrics in half an hour and didn’t even write music, he’s just kinda playing what feels right in the moment. So the chorus has a catchy rhythm, but the verse is a mess, exactly the way it should be.

However, the wedding song has had his music teacher critique it, both the lyrics and the music, and he’s been practicing it for two months, so the rhythm has to work properly and sound right. Fortunately, I have a lot of time to perfect it.

Today was a good day. I felt like I improved.

Jan 21: Attempt

I tried really hard to listen to my rhythms in the wedding song. I think I need to play all the verses one after the other so that I can make sure that my rhythms are the same, because I feel like I’m forgetting it when I play the chorus. I have been consistent over the days with how I play the rhythm for the bridge, so I’m pleased about that.

I also attempted We Don’t Talk About Bruno for the first time. For a song that has been in my head for weeks, I’m shocked that I don’t know the rhythms better. It was a real struggle (other than Dolores’ and Isabela’s parts, for some reason?)

I noticed a huge improvement in my speed and finger placement for the chords in La Da Dee.

Overall, considering I had a short practice today, I’m encouraged by my progress.

Birth of the Aetherverse – Chapter 3 (Serial Story)


Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12


Chapter 3: God, Trickster, and Coward

We quickly realized, the other four and I, that we were different from the Fay. Our magic was inside and the world was linked to us. The Fay realms bent to our every whim and fantasy, while the Fay had immense magical power, but needed to pull it from the Aether. It limited them since they had to pull magic through the barrier.

We were gods among them and they loved us. For countless years, we were benevolent deities to adoring masses. I say we, but it was mostly the other four; I liked to disguise myself and live amongst the Fay. They were fascinating and overly serious. I spent most of the godly reign of my siblings pulling pranks and tricks throughout the realm.

I was a menace and I fully admit it. I’m not proud of those years, but everyone has some embarrassing moments tucked into their past. Mine just happen to be the basis for every trickster god in multiple realms. 

The problem with complete power is that it corrupts, even the gods. The four became capricious and mean. They treated the Fay like bugs and slaves. I’m not completely blameless either. 

The Fay grew angry and frustrated, as they should, and rose up. They discovered that worked metal hurt our magic as much as theirs and they took arms against us. The first great Fay civil war was a horrible thing where most of the Fay died. The fighting only stopped when Mav died, her heart pierced by cold iron.

That’s when the realm itself expelled all worked metal. I’m not sure what happens to the metal, but when it’s brought into Fay, it bubbles and boils and goes into the ground.

After Mav’s death, the remaining three disappeared, and we discovered that certain Fay had the strength and will to carve a kingdom out of the wild realm around them; they were the Fay Lords. And so was born the Fay Kingdoms, ruled by those who had killed their own gods. 

Again, I am not proud of my actions, but I left Fay completely. First I travelled to Earth, but it was controlled by wild magic and large reptiles, so I tried Everworld. It had been created with magic similar to my own and I had assumed it would greet me kindly. Although the people were kind, the realm itself fought my every move and one morning I awoke back in Fay. Everworld had expelled me the way Fay expels metal.

I had been gone long enough that when I returned there were nine kingdoms, the greatest of all being called Mav. After a few enquiries, I discovered its king and queen were Oberon and Titania. They had reinvented themselves as Fay Lords and started a kingdom. I was shocked to hear that they also had a son, Melchior.

In our time as gods, we’d had many children with the regular Fay. Most of those children went mad with power, so we stopped. In those countless days and nights, we had never successfully mated with each other.  

I had to see for myself what the child was. I’d convinced myself that he was just another Fay until I saw him. I looked at his magic; he had the same core of power as myself, but he was also capable of pulling power from the Aether.

That made him extremely dangerous and I grew fearful. With his power, he could rewrite the universe, maybe all universes. I did the only thing I knew what to do and I ran. I ran into the Deep realms until I couldn’t breath, think, or stay awake.

I woke up when someone slapped me. It was Peaseblossom and they looked different. Their magic was subdued and they looked peaceful. “Wake up, Robin,” they said, punctuating it with another slap.

“What if I don’t?” I asked petulantly. 

“Then the Deep realms will eat you, maybe.”

I laughed as much at their uncertainty as their joke. “What have you done to yourself, Sibling?”

Smiling, they said, “I travelled the Deep realms and came across a fox that walked in the shadows. I followed her and found her, I thought, eating another fox. When I approached I saw that she was transforming the fox’s core magic from internal to external. I watched her do it multiple times and finally with enough practice I was able to do it to myself. I am no better now than a common Fay.”

“Are you happy?” I asked, not sure how to respond. They nodded and I asked if they could show me where the fox had been.

My sibling did not explain the beauty that was this fox. She had fur as dark as night with shocks of bright red, her eyes were intelligent, and most interestingly, her magical core was the same as ours.

“Hello, my lady. You are magnificent. I thank you for teaching my sibling your magic.” I thought it best to be polite. I didn’t expect the fox to respond and I was surprised when she rushed forward and bit my leg. She yowled at me and bit again before turning and running.

“I think you’ve insulted her,” Peaseblossom said.

“I think she wants us to follow,” I replied and ran after the beauty.

I had no idea where we were going. I knew that to wander too far into the Deep was to lose yourself in time, but all that mattered was that fox. When I finally caught up with her she gave me a look that was what I assume was the fox equivalent to, About time. 

After that, we ran together until we reached the other end of the Deep realms, where reality just gave up, and it’s there that I saw the first gate. It was an arch of stone two stories high with sigils of magic all around it.

But it wasn’t the arch that chilled my blood and stopped my heart; it’s what was visible through the arch. An army dressed in some sort of silver metal lined up in rows that reached so far in the distance that together, they looked like a giant metal serpent.

“Mulciber,” I whispered in horror.

Read Chapter 4


While you wait for the next chapter, check out the previous serial stories:


Last Day to Please Nominate Us

Hello,

Tomorrow is the last day to nominate us! PLEASE!

Two weeks ago, I posted that How I Taught My Dragon should be on your Aurora Nominations.

Please note all the other products that JenEric Designs has worked on that are eligible for Aurora nominations:

Thank you in advance and good nominating.


aurora

The Aurora Awards are awards “for excellence in Science Fiction and Fantasy works and activities.” They are administered by the Canadian Science Fiction and Fantasy Association.

It’s a fan voted award in the vein of the Hugo’s, but with way more awesome people.

You’ll have to join the CSFFA for a pittance of $10 before you can nominate anyone. Once you’ve paid, you can nominate 5 works in each category. You can nominate works from now until May 18th.

The extra bonus of joining the CSFFA is you’ll get a voters package that includes most of the works that make the ballot. That’s 8-10 novels plus a bunch of other awesome stuff.


Thank you!

Éric

The Adam Project  – JenEric Movie Review

How This Works – Read Other Reviews

Hello Cinephiles,

Today we’re talking about the 2022 film The Adam Project.

Story

There’s nothing new here and the plot is pretty bare bones. It’s a little derivative for the time travel aspect, but the writing of the characters’ stories is well nuanced, but none of that will be memorable.

Score: 0

Characters

The actor they got to play a young version of Reynolds is brilliant. He really got the mannerisms and speech patterns.

The rest of the cast is excellent and extremely believable.

Score: 1

Dialogue

This was a quip fest with exactly the kind of jokes and turns of phrase you’d expect from Reynolds. It was awesome seeing his younger self match him and even Jennifer Garner got in on it.

The time travel mechanics and rules were well explained and didn’t go too deep.

Score: 1

Visuals and Music

The special effects were fantastic and they used the forests and lakes really well as a backdrop. The fight scenes were great with little to no shaky cam and lots of humour integrated.

The score was well used and the songs were great.

Score: 1

Fun

Fun is what this movie was all about. Lots of humour, action, and excitement. I was glued to my seat.

The 5yo loved it and the 2yo loved the kid and the action, but got bored at the kissy or talky scenes.

Score: 1

Overall

A fun, quippy, action movie with lots of great acting. This is the perfect movie to sit back, relax, and enjoy.

Final Score: 4 Stars out of 5

Guitar Lessons Part 33

Jan 10: Taking it easy

I’m still not fully recovered, although I feel much better, so I only played the abbreviated version of my practice.

First, the learning app melody song. It… Didn’t go as well as I’d hoped.

Then I played my two songs. They sounded off. I don’t know why, they just did.

And then, because both kids begged, I played the wedding song again. It sounded better the second time, but my voice started to hurt halfway through.

I’m falling apart. I blame being in my late thirties.

Jan 11: Revisiting favourites

Today I played my songs. I tried to pay close attention to the rhythms in the wedding song. I think I did better making the verse and the chorus distinct from each other.

I’m going to consider that a win.

Then I played a bunch of songs from the ukulele app (same chord progressions, different finger positions) that I haven’t played in a while.

Omg I am SO MUCH FASTER at switching between G, C, and D now! Like…I don’t even have to look at my fingers anymore.

I feel greatly encouraged by this.

Oh, and I played some songs from Encanto. If you haven’t watched that yet, I hope you will get the chance soon. At the very least, listen to the music. It’s brilliant.

Jan 12: Cheerful

Apparently, if I don’t know the strum rhythm, I strum everything too cheerfully.

Or at least, I do that for Disturbed’s The Sound of Silence and Rufus Wainwright’s Hallelujah.

I mean, that’s kinda funny, tbh.

I guess I just need to listen to more music.

Oh the horror.

I also played my songs today. Those are supposed to be cheerful. 🙂

Jan 13: Ten minutes

What can I do in ten minutes of practice?

Play my learning app.

Play each of my songs (still only two with music) once.

Play Cody Simpson’s La Da Dee.

I really enjoy playing songs that I actually know and that I haven’t played since November. I can feel the difference in both my strumming and finger positioning. I know I have a long way to go, but progress is encouraging.

Jan 14: Rocking out

I played some new-to-me songs today, including Bare Necessities.

Bear with me (pun intended); I didn’t think I liked that song much. But to play it is a completely different animal than listening to it (pun intended again).

I did a pretty good job, imho.

I had a pretty good practice session today, in other words.

I love that my song actually sounds like a proper song. At least, in my opinion.

I think I’ll record it for you sometime soon. I’m feeling so much more confident in it.

Jan 15: C chords

I’ve been working on C7 and Cmaj7 chords. C7 requires all 4 fingers, but it’s not super complicated. Cmaj7 requires 2 fingers, so it’s actually pretty easy.

Anyways, I pulled out Kiss Me by Sixpence None the Richer today, and it had those chords, and it actually sounded kinda right. It was pretty cool.

I played a bunch of other songs that I had stopped playing before Christmas, and I felt very encouraged by how well I was able to play them.

I also played both of my songs. They’re a lot of fun.

BOOKSTORE? AHHHHH!

Hello Imaginary Friends, Readers, and Fans,

I had to go to Carlingwood mall the other day to return some online purchases. (We’ve been limiting our excursions to make sure we don’t expose Pegasus to Covid until he’s vaccinated.)

While there I decided to go look at the bookstore Coles Carlingwood. Mostly because I like bookstores. Once inside, I decided to go check if they had my book.

And they DID!!!

I knew that local stores had them in stock and that they were available online from all bookstores, but it was so amazing to see it in stores.

I asked the person working if they wanted me to sign some and after an adorkable exchange where I offered to show my ID and we both geeked out, I signed all five or six books.

So if you’d like a signed copy, get to Coles Carlingwood before they all sell out!

I’m so excited!!!!

It felt really cool doing this and I look forward to doing actual signings at bookstores. AHHHHH! Maybe if all goes well, Jen and I can do a signing for Assassins! in the fall.

Stay safe and be kind,

Éric