Éric’s Top 5 Pet Peeves

Everyone has things that annoy them. I’m certainly not an exception (I annoy a lot of people.)

I’m normally a pretty relaxed guy but I go through phases where I have to stop myself and say/sing “Let it go.” If I don’t, I’ll just get grumpier and grumpier until I explode in a semi-comic rage.

There are things that no matter how happy I am, they will piss me, royally, off. So with no more delay here are:

Éric’s Top 5 Pet Peeves

5. Small Talk

I’m not talking about seeing a friend on the bus and asking them how they’ve been. I’m talking about the useless words to fill the void of silence.

Them, “Hi”

Me, “Hello”

Them, “So the weather is really weathering huh?”

Me, “Yep. Canada Eh?”

ARG! Why? Sure, it used to be fun and screw with people by going off script and saying I like winter or hate heat but it’s just so boring. (I love weather and the science behind it. I totally fanboyed when I met Mark Robinson.)

4. Being Corrected

If I’m pronouncing something wrong, made a spelling mistake, or got Jeffrey Dean Morgan confused with Javier Bardem (again) I don’t mind being told I’m wrong.

If I say I hated The Dark Knight rises and you tell me I’m wrong, I will strangle you with my mind. My opinions, feelings, and philosophical thoughts are not yours to disprove. Star Trek 2: The Khan Strikes back wasn’t a Star Trek movie and I’ll happily argue it with you but don’t tell me I can’t feel that way.

3. Drivers that idle in the pedestrian crossing lane

I get that you’re in a hurry and that you want to be as close to the stop sign or light as possible but there’s this nice little part of the road that’s meant for pedestrians to cross the road. I’m not in a steel shell, I should be walking in front of you, not behind you because you’re too fraking impatient to stop at the right place.

OH and by the way this:

It’s a yield sign. You need to stop for other cars and pedestrians and YIELD to their passage. It’s not a park in the middle of the lane sign or speed up sign. YIELD you stupid metal clad morons!

2. People who walk and smoke

I get that you can’t smoke in parks, city events, restaurants, bars, workplaces, etc, but how would you like it if I started spraying skunk smell as I walked?

I’m just trying to get from place A to place B, I don’t need your noxious smoke in my face. It stinks, makes me want to vomit and punch you in the face.

Don’t even get me started with the jerk-faced-morons that smoke in front of doors.

Someday I’m going to snap and start carrying a spray bottle and start treating you like a misbehaving cat.

1. Positive People

Being genuinely happy and positive is something that makes everyone around you feel better. Being perky or super-positive at people is annoying.

If I’m upset, no amount of telling me how I should be happy will help, unless you’re trying to make me angry. Seriously, let me be grumpy or not like mornings. What’s it to you?

I think all these disgustingly happy/perky people are hiding something. Either deep seated sadness or dead bodies.

 

That’s my top 5 pet peeves for the moment. I’ve purposely left out the category “Stupid People” (Climate change deniers, Antivaxers, Gamergaters, Rabid Puppies, preachy-angry religious or atheists, and people who give their carnivorous pets vegan/vegetarian diets, etc) and “Boring Conspiracy Nuts” (People who say: Aspartame is bad, Big Pharma, the liberal cabal etc .

 

What are your pet peeves?

Éric

 

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