This talented and beautiful cosplayer Lady Gallifreya won Best in Show at Ottawa Comic Con in 2014. Not surprised – this costume is gorgeous!
Don’t forget to come to CON’s craft fair tomorrow! See you there!
A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to my Funeral – Part 5
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4
I’m not a great man. I’m a glorified do-gooder with a soft spot for underdogs. I’ve made small changes and big changes. All of these have been at the orders of my God and Master Sol but they’ve all been for humanity.
When I die, a small group will mourn and a much larger group will celebrate. Ten years later I’ll be remembered fondly by some and forgotten by most. I’m ok with that. My closest friends will always remember me. They are a loyal, no I mean ridiculously loyal, group.
That’s why I needed to get them away from my funeral and death. If I gave them any chance to save me, they’d all die with me. I couldn’t stomach that idea.
“Where to next, boss?” asked Adric. He’d been on the ship for less than a day and he’d already made it twenty times more efficient and got rid of that annoying rattle in the life support.
“We need one last member of the crew to survive this.” I paused for dramatic effect and the coms bleeped. I pressed the button and a person with shoulder length purple hair appeared on the vid screens.
“Everyone,” I said. “This is Caro. They are the systems strongest telepath and precog.” They all looked from the androgynous figure on the screen and me. “Yes, they are stronger than I am. With the two of us, how could we possibly lose?”
Smiling, the ethereally attractive figure said, “Hal. You’ll have to pick me up on Eris.”
I don’t like this old friend. They spoke to me in my mind from over eighty astronomical units away.
You’ve seen what will happen if you save me. They’ll need your guidance. You’ve always been more careful and wise than me. I was buttering them up and they knew it.
Fine. I’ll do this because I know we will make a better solar system, but I don’t like it.
I know. Neither do I. Goodbye my friend. See you on the other side.
As we’d been speaking they had introduced themselves to the crew and given me coordinates to pick them up.
I must have looked as bad as I felt, for I felt Janet’s hand on my shoulder. I patted the hand and said, “I’m feeling tired. Been a long couple of days. I’ll take a nap. Travis, do you mind?”
“You must be feeling bad if you’re letting me take over.” Travis knew I was a little bit of a control freak.
Standing shakily, I headed to my room. When I’d turned the corner, Suzie walked up behind me and took my arm. “How bad is it?” she asked.
“Bad. One more episode will probably kill me.” I lied. I could have survived at least three more. I leaned on her for support.
“Why haven’t you told Janet?”
“She’ll want to use inhibiters to prevent my contact with Sol. It would save my life but I’d be utterly useless to everyone.”
“Do you really think you’d be useless?” she asked.
“I’m nothing without Sol,” I said, thinking of the boy I was before I became the Sun-Speaker, an orphaned street kid with more brains than sense. Compared to the crew I’d assembled, I was an intellectual dwarf, they didn’t need me.
We reached my room and Suzie let me down on my bunk a little harder than she should have. “You’re an idiot Hal. None of us give a damn about Sol or the messages he gives you. It’s you that we respect and…” she hesitated, trying to decide if she should say what she wanted to.
Reaching out a hand and caressing her cheek, I said what she was too proud to say, “I love you too.”
“Get some rest. We’re going to your funeral but I’d like you to stick around for a while.” She stood up and left.
Waiting until I was sure no one was going to interrupt me I changed into the official draperies of my office as Sun-Speaker and snuck down to the cargo hold. Once inside I went straight for the matter transporter and programmed my coordinates. The mathematical formulae needed to dissolve my form and reassemble it were extra tricky but I had Sol to help.
As I pressed the button, I whispered, “Goodbye, my friends.”
Blush: Communication
Hello all,
So far we have received almost three digits worth of questions, but I’m greedy, and I want more! Ask us your anonymous questions here!
One common question received was: How do you know if your partner wants to have sex?
Answer: Ask them! Don’t rely on body language. Enthusiastic consent is sexy, and you can only get that verbally (or through sign language if your partner is mute). If they say yes, woo! If they say no, don’t pressure them. If you don’t feel comfortable talking to your partner about sex, then you are not comfortable enough to have sex with them.
One of the sites that I recommend for more information is Sexuality and U. This link is related to today’s question.
A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to my Funeral – Part 4
The forests of Mercury, through a twist of optics and evolution, were a bright pink colour. Unlike the green of Earth or the dark brown of Mars, you end up feeling pretty silly being terrified by bright pink trees. I knew nothing as going to kill us in the New-Black Forest, stupid name, but I was a city and spaceship kind of person. Walking the wilds of Mercury looking for a small town that shouldn’t exist wasn’t my idea of fun.
“Would you stop jumping at every twig and shadow?” Suzie was the only crew member to come with me. Janet didn’t want to be recognized and Adric said he needed to work on the ship. I knew what they really wanted to do, but I also knew it wasn’t going to happen for a few more years. They would take my death very hard.
“There are things everywhere on this planet that want to kill me.”
“We’re not on Earth. The biggest wildlife they have here are cats.”
“Did you know that cats will eat their owners if the owner dies? That means they want to kill me.”
“I’ve seen you stare down some of the most dangerous people in the system and you’re afraid of a cat?” Suzie rolled her eyes as we approached Green Lake. I really need to have a terse word with the person who named these things.
Green Lake was neither a lake nor green. In fact it was a small jungle town with a river running through it. The ground was brown and the trees were still pink. The native people, having absorbed millennia of radiation, were nearly completely black.
This semi-tropical area was considered ideal, especially by people who didn’t want to be found. We checked the bar first. Some things never change. The man I was looking for was an old friend and that’s why when I found him, his fist found my face.
“Nice to see you too, Travis.” I mumbled through a few napkins quickly filling with blood. His pale grey eyes almost glowed in their dark sockets. Suzie had her sword out and it sang with power.
“What do you want, Hal?”
“I need a pilot and I want the best.”
“Do you have any idea what they did to me in that Pirate Ship?” he looked at me with anger and I returned his look with my own. I knew every pain and every injustice that the Pirates had inflicted on him. I had experienced each second with him. I knew his pain as if it was my own.
“Yes. I know, and trust me, worse would have happened to you if I’d taken you with me.”
“How much does this job pay?” I could see his anger soften as he started to understand how intimately I understood his pain.
“It pays room, board, and a small salary. It also lets you pilot the greatest ship in the solar system.” Both he and Suzie laughed at that. When he laughed I could see through the pain that made him look much older than his forty years. “I’m not joking. I’m assembling the best crew and ship possible to go back to Venus.”
“What’s on Venus?” he asked.
“We’re going to my funeral.”
Another hearty chuckle and he replied, “I’m in!”
On the uncomfortable trek back to the ship, I hate nature, Suzie walked ahead and Travis walked next to me. He asked the question I didn’t want to answer, “You’re dying aren’t you?”
“Yep, but these visions aren’t going to kill me yet.”
“What will?” He looked at me and added, “You’re preparing a ship of people to continue your work. Aren’t you?”
“How did you know?” I said, sighing in fatigue. I always felt weak now.
“I was your captain for two years, I know you.”
“Sol let me know that I would die at my funeral, feels almost ironic.”
“Can we stop it?” he asked and it sent a shiver up my spine. My premonition told me that if anyone tried to stop my death, it would lead to terrible things. Empires falling terrible.
“No, and I don’t want you to try.”
Brief Interlude 1
Hi,
I know you’re anxious to get back to A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to my Funeral, but I wanted to let everyone know about a new Online Store and what coffee will be available for CON Craft Fair and Cap-Con.
Gilove2dance Designs
JenEric Designs has been sharing a table with Gilove2dance Designs for just over a year now and it has been great.
They just opened an online store so go check out their awesome store filled with Band of Brothers Merchandise.
Coffee
I ran a poll to see what 3 classic flavours I would be making for events in September.
*Drumroll*
With 13 votes:
Spiked Coffee
With 12 votes:
Davroast
With 10 Votes:
Raktajino
They will be added to our brand new flavour Jack CoCo’Neill and our seasonal flavour The Great Pumpkin.
If you know you’ll be at either of our September events and want another flavour from our Coffee page use the form below to pre-order.
Thank you and A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to my Funeral will continue Next Tuesday.
Éric
Montreal
A city that has made a name for itself in the geek community recently is Montreal. Not only are tons of movies being filmed in Montreal, but its Comic Con, Otakuthon, and smaller conventions have attracted some big name guests, and they have comic book shops on practically every corner on St Catherine.
And they now have a public Hobbit garden. What could be better?
Girls on Games wrote a great article on local hot spots that you should check out, including a bunch of coffee/board game shops, and the Montreal Science Centre.
If you want to see a bunch of film locations from your favourite movies, you have come to the right city. From movies like X-Men: Days of Future Past to Warm Bodies, and tons of others, you can easily hop from one movie set to another. Although there are no touring companies at the moment, I don’t see why there wouldn’t be one in the future. In the meantime, I would love to build a tour for you!
Last but certainly not least, Just For Laughs is based in Montreal. They are definitely worth the time!
There is so much to do and see in Montreal!
A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to my Funeral – Part 3
“‘Hey Sunny’, please stand down and prepare for boarding,” an authoritative voice ordered and I snickered. It was the main reason I’d called my ship, “Hey Sunny.”
“You’re a dork,” Suzie laughed.
I made a gesture for them to be quiet and opened the communication channel, “Hey Gramps. This is Hal of the ‘Hey Sunny’ requesting permission to land on Callisto.”
“You’re dead?” asked the person on the other side. Looks like new of my death had spread quickly.
“Not last time I checked,” I replied, trying not to sound like I was laughing at him, and failing.
“Prepare for boarding. Lower your weapons.”
“Nope, not going to happen. I have complete diplomatic immunity.” It was one of the few perks of being the Sun-Speaker. Like all the other perks, it only worked occasionally.
“All immunities have been revoked due to your death.” I could hear the man on the other side chuckling.
I set the coms to receive only and Janet asked, “What now?”
“Short jump into a field on the planet.”
“No one has ever been stupid enough to attempt a jump onto a planet. If you’re off by a billionth of a calculation we’re embedded into the bedrock of the planet. Can’t we just use your teleporter?” Suzie sounded panicked.
“Sorry Suzie, using the teleporter would be messy this time.” Matter teleportation was highly experimental and teleporting living matter only worked once in a million times. Being a prophet meant I could make the odds a little better.
“Trust me,” I said reaching out and gently massaging her shoulder. “Everything will be fine, we’re too pretty to die.” I winked and activated the Alcubierre Drive, better known as the Jump Drive.
“Where’d they go?” The voice from one of the battleships asked and I cut the coms. We’d made perfect jump, more or less. We’d landed in a tall field of grass about a little closer to the city than I would have liked, but they didn’t really need that overpass did they?
“Hal? Is that your ship parked next to my house?” The coms picked up short range radio frequencies, and this one was coming from the building next to the ship.
“Hey Adric. How’s life?”
“You’d damn well know if you ever sent an email!” Adric didn’t sound amused.
“I’m a prophet. I know either way. I was just being polite. Are you coming or not?” The only answer I got was the hatch door opening and closing.
“We have several police and two fighters on their way to us, I hope you have a plan,” Suzie sounded like she wanted to throttle me. I think it’s the way she says she cares.
The controls told me that the engines needed a half hour to recover from the last jump and that Adric had closed the hatch door.
I turned my chair around and when Adric walked in, I stood up shakily. I gave the boy a big hug and said, “Welcome to the crew.” I let him go, the hug had given me the chance to check his health with my telepathic abilities and make sure he didn’t have any weapons.
“Adric, this is Suzie, security expert, and that’s Janet, medical prodigy. Ladies, this is Adric, mechanical and computer genius.” I introduced everyone and Suzie just scowled. Adric’s mouth gaped when he saw Janet and she had the nerve to blush. I hadn’t seen this coming.
“Adric, the engines need twenty five minutes before we can jump again, could you check and see if you can shave some time off that?”
“Sure boss!” he said semi sarcastically and winked at Janet.
When he’d left, Janet said, “He’s pretty.”
“Doc, he’s a fourth your age,” I warned.
“Only if you’re into the tall skinny pale underwear model type,” laughed Suzie ignoring me.
“I am I really am.” Janet also ignored me. I swear, I get no respect on this ship.
“Five minutes before the fighter’s on top of us.” Suzie said, getting back to business.
From the engine room, Adric said, “Nice stuff down here Hal. I can give you jump drive in ten minutes.”
“Do better. I’ll try to outrun them.”
“Same old Hal.” Adric laughed. I didn’t offer him a job, and he didn’t tell me what had happened to him. We both knew the other one knew.
I lifted the ship off the ground. “Don’t shoot down the fighters.”
“What? But they’re coming in hot!” Suzie didn’t sound happy.
“Trust me, you want these two to live,” The fighter pilots were going to be the great-great-great grandparents of the first human to make contact with an alien civilization which would change the way we see the universe and ourselves.
We took several hits on our way out but I eventually got us out of there. Our jump took us to Mercury.
“I thought the funeral was on Venus?” asked Janet.
“It is, but we need some repairs and I need to pay off an old debt.” It wasn’t a complete lie. The ship had a doctor, a weapons expert, and engineer, now it only needed a pilot.
