Legolas Greenleaf defied his father. He would have definitely run away with the Doctor. Do you disagree?
The Ridiculous Adventures of Felix Felicis – Part Ten
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9
“Grab the joystick and do your part,” Yelled Leonardo da Vinci pointing at a chair with what looked like virtual reality glasses and a fancy joystick.
Hesitantly Felix sat in the comfortable chair and put on the glasses. Sudenly he could see the outside of the ship as if he was there. It was disconcerting and he had to take a few deep breaths to convince his body he wasn’t about to die.
He could hear Miss Eris walking to the back of the small fighter ship to install the diamond. The soft clacking of her heels on the hull of the ship. The ship was roughly the size of a moderately sized motor home.
“Just try not to hit our allies,” as da Vinci said it certain ships started to glow green and others red. The green ones were built like fighter jets made of black steel, while the others looked like golden eggs. Even though the two designs were so different Felix appreciated the colour coding. They all moved so quickly it was hard to tell.
The joystick moved his field of vision and when he pressed the large red button a bright crimson beam of light shot out. It struck one of the golden eggs and the eggs exploded like in an action movie.
“Good shot,” he hear in the earpiece of the headset. It had a slight Italian accent and Felix suspected it was Nicola Tesla.
Turning the joystick to the far right, Felix yelped in surprise. While he’d been concentrating on all the smaller ships he hadn’t seen the mothership. It was huge. From this angle he would have sworn it was as big as a planet and it was exactly like the smaller eggs.
“Do we have one of those?” asked Felix.
“No,” replied several people at once.
A warm hand rested on his shoulder and he heard the warm voice of Miss Eris say, “That is why we needed the diamond. It will allow this ship to increase its firepower and destroy the mothership.”
“That makes sense I suppose. You should probably get on one of these gun things too.”
“There’s only one gun on each ship. Otherwise the drain would be too much.”
“Oh, then let me get out of your way,” Felix assumed she was a better shot than he was. She was better at almost everything. Her hand kept him firmly in place.
“Felix only you can do this.” Her voice was soft and her confidence in him overwhelming.
“That’s ridiculous!” He exclaimed. “I’m not special. I’m just me. You have a time machine in your arm and sitting next to me is Leonardo da Vinci you can not tell me that I’m better qualified than either of you.” As he yelled a large humming started to compete in volume.
The ship turned towards the giant egg and da Vinci said, “You’re at the gun and we only have one shot at this. Just aim and shoot when I tell you.”
The egg came closer and closer until all he could see was a golden sheen. He wanted to shoot but nobody said anything. They just kept getting closer until suddenly he felt the entire ship jerk to one side, just as a pillar of yellow light exploded from the egg.
“Hold on,” said Miss Eris from somewhere next to him. It was one of those clichéd sayings that made him yell at movies. What did she expect? That he’d jump out if his seat and dance? Of course he’d hold on and hope his bowels did the same.
Just when he thought they’d bump into the gigantic spaceship he saw that it wasn’t one large solid egg but made by millions of little eggs and egg ports.
“Now aim for the red dot on your screen.” da Vinci said a little too calmly for Felix’s liking.
He pressed the button and his vision turned bright crimson. It was all he could see but he held on to the button. He felt shockwaves hit the ship but all he could see was red.
The red stopped along with the high pitched hum. Felix let go of the button. What he saw now was a large debris field. Bits of gold caught the light from the sun and reflected like sparkles on a holiday ornament.
“It’s over,” Miss Eris said, a tear rolling down her cheek. We’ve finally won.
Standing and shaking his hand da Vinci said, “You’ve done your race proud. Thank you!”
Smiling from ear to ear, Felix could only nod.
“I’ll take you home,” Miss Eris gave him a sad smile.
“Thank you,” he said feeling relieved and sad at the same time.
He took her hand for what he realized would be the last time and the world twisted into odd shapes. The now familiar feeling of being turned inside out didn’t seem so bad.
When the world realigned itself he was inside his apartment. “But I thought it blew up?”
“It did but now it won’t. The enemy was destroyed there’s no need for your apartment to explode,” she smiled at him.
As he tried to decipher what she’d said he saw his wall calendar. It had a large picture of a cartoon dinosaur, his niece had gotten it for him for Christmas. The date on the calendar said, March 31st, 2014. The clock read six-fourteen in the afternoon.
“How long have we been gone?” he asked.
“For the world. You never left. For you and I, it’s been a week.”
“Feels like a year,” he sighed.
“It’s time I go,” she said.
“Goodbye Miss Eris,” he said trying to think of anything but her leaving. He reached his hand out to shake hers.
“Goodbye Felix,” she took his hand and pulled him towards her. Gently she leaned over and kissed him. His body exploded in shivers. He sighed internally as he felt the warmth in her lips and the heat from her body. As much as he’d fought against it, this was what he wanted.
She let go and moved back, there were tears on her cheeks, “Goodbye Felix and to answer your question from the museum I am a robot. But that doesn’t mean I don’t love you.” With those last words she disappeared.
“What do I do now?” he asked the empty apartment.
He reached into his bookcase and pulled out a novel without looking at the title. He sat on his couch and started to read. This was what he had wanted. Wasn’t it?
Thranduil
Thranduil, the Elven King of Mirkwood, does not look impressed with the TARDIS. Thranduil is cosplayed by the fantastic Detailed Illusion. As part of team “Detailed Mess” (cosplaying Fai D. Flowright and Sakura from Tsubasa), he has won the first World Cosplay Summit Canadian preliminaries and will represent Canada along with Miss Messy Mia in WCS 2015 in Japan. His most notable awards in the Masters category were for Best Reinterpretation for his Genderbent Elsa (Costume-Con 32, 2014) and Best in Show for his Thranduil (Pop Expo 2013).
Ringwraith!
The Ringwraith has the TARDIS! Who will save the Doctor?
I am helping to organize a new craft fair that is happening March 21, 2015 (TOMORROW!!). It is called CON Creative Ottawa Nerds. You can say that you’re going to the event here, and you can like our Facebook page here. Éric wrote about it here.
CON Contest, Coffee, Buttons, and Felix Felicis
Hello My Imaginary Friends,
Sick
I’m not sure if you’ve noticed but I’ve been really out of it that past three weeks. I first caught a cold, then a stomach flu, then hurt my back, and then things started to thaw. So I’ve been valiantly combatting viruses, bacteria, and allergies. It was a hard fight but I think I’ve finally gotten the upper hand.
So if my stories seemed extra delirious, I have an excuse.
CON Contest Winner
The CON Contest ended yesterday and was won by Tricia. Congrats again and hope to see you at CON.
CON, Coffee, and Buttons
Saturday is CON. YIKES! If you don’t yet know CON is Ottawa’s newest geeky craft fair dedicated to creators, artists, and artisans. No stores but sooooo much awesome. Come check us out.
I have roasted and flavoured five flavours for sale and I’m going to seal them tonight. I ordered labels that will hopefully arrive today or tomorrow. I’ll have the 100g bags for $10 but I’ll also be selling 25g tasters for $3 each or 2 for $5. The tasters will have an exclusive flavour that I’m calling Elvis (Peanut Butter and Banana Cream).
I restocked our buttons and created a new product. I call it the EGGcellent lottery. We have 48 easter eggs each with a pin inside. 1 out of 4 pins have prizes either $5 or $10 dollars off your next purchase or 2 pins of your choice. We’ll be selling the eggs at $3 each or 2 for $5. Yes you can mix and match the coffee and eggs. (Yum breakfast.)
Felix Felicis
The end is coming for poor Felix. His year round adventure is coming to a close. Only 2 more chapters left before his end.
If you don’t know what I’m talking about The Ridiculous Adventures of Felix Felicis is a serial story that I’ve been writing since April 1st, 2014. It currently has 9 parts and will end on April 2nd. Go read what you’ve missed, it’s silly fun.
After that I will start a new serial story. My goal is to have a new serial story every year that has between 5 and 15 chapters. The next one will be decided by reader votes. So get ready.
That’s it for me today. Have a great weekend and I hope to see you at CON.
Will you be Attending Con?
Eric
Gimli and Legolas
I wonder if Gimli and Legolas would continue their kill-counts if they travelled with the Doctor?
I am helping to organize a new craft fair that is happening March 21, 2015. It is called CON Creative Ottawa Nerds. You can say that you’re going to the event here, and you can like our Facebook page here. Éric wrote about it here.
Only Human
This will be one of several choices for this year’s serial story.
* * *
“I’m a freak,” she said dramatically, throwing herself on her dorm room bed. The room had a bed, closet, dresser, desk.
“Yep,” Ginny replied showing her fangs. “How did you manage to get accepted here anyway?”
“I have no idea. I applied for all the Cryptozoology programs.”
“It’s not like this place is subtle, it’s called Monster’s University,” Ginny’s fangs retracted and she smiled.
“Ok, sure, but I didn’t think there were actual monsters, I assumed it was just a name,” Rachel nervously played with her long red French-braid.
Sitting down next to her and patting her knee with a pale hand, Ginny said, “Maybe it won’t be that bad? I mean no one’s going to expect you to be human. They’ll all assume you’re something else.”
Looking at her new roommate and only friend, Rachel felt a little sad. “Why don’t you just turn me into a vampire? That’ll fix everything.”
Ginny made a disgusted face, “You’re cute but I’m not into girls.” When Rachel looked confused, Ginny added, “We might be monsters but we have rules. We can only turn our future wife/husband.”
“Then how are you a Vampire?”
Running her hands through her perfect blonde hair, everything seemed perfect on Ginny, she explained, “When a mommy vampire and a daddy vampire love each other very much…” she paused. “I was born just like you.” Ginny blushed and Rachel was surprised that she could.
“Oh. Sorry.” Rachel looked sheepish but she was actually extremely interested.
“No one’s going to turn you legally and trust me, the sicko’s that say they will, will turn you into a thrall. It’s like a walking drinking cup.” Rachel shuddered and was about to say something but Ginny cut her off, “Same goes for Mummies, Lycans, Harpies, Sirens, and Banshees.”
“What do I do?”
“Fake it,” Ginny got off the bed and looked at Rachel appraisingly. “We need to find a creature that’s rare enough you won’t find one here, doesn’t have active powers, and doesn’t have any physical differences from humans.”
“Fae?” Rachel suggested.
“With that skin? No way. Plus they’re like a quarter of the population here.”
The mention of Rachel’s skin hurt her. She was self-conscious about her pimples. She’d been teased her entire life. It wasn’t easy being told by her roommate who could pass as a magazine cover model, post-photoshop.
“Dwarf?” Rachel suggested.
“You don’t have enough hair,” Ginny ran her hand on her face indicating a beard. “Not to mention you’re a little tall.” Rachel was over six feet tall and had wide shoulders.
“Demigod?” Rachel was running out of ideas. It didn’t help that she knew nothing but myths about this world. She had been a big fan of the Percy Jackson novels when she was in the orphanage.
As she said Demigod, their main dorm room door flew open and a large boy came in. He passed the small kitchen and walked straight into her room. He had the same blond hair and perfect skin as Ginny but he was taller than Rachel and too wide shouldered to get through the door by walking straight. He wore a MU jacket and held a football in one hand.
“Dude, did I hear you were a Demi? Awesome! Who’s your parent?”
“Ronny, that’s totally rude,” Ginny rolled her eyes in the way that only a sibling can. “Rachel, this is Ronny, my older brother.”
Jumping off the bed in the most awkward way possible, Rachel took Ronnie’s hand and shook it. “Nice to meet you.” She smiled what she hoped was a seductive smile. He was gorgeous.
They shook hands and Ronny said, “Dang. Nice …” he looked her over, making her blush a little at how invasive the look was, and finished with, “grip.”
“I’m not sure who my parents are. I spent half my life in an orphanage.” She decided it was easier to tell the truth.
“Well from looking at you I’d say Norse or Celtic, welcome to Monster’s University,” with that he winked and jogged out of their room.
After she closed the door, Ginny said, “No!”
“What? He’s hot and he was flirting,” A part of Rachel liked seeing Ginny flustered.
“He’s not hot, he’s my brother.”
The two girls looked into each other’s eyes and after a few seconds burst into giggles. After the giggles ended Ginny said, “So are you going to the big welcome street party over on Greek row?”
“Are they Greek gods or…?”
“Naw they’re just Sororities and Frats,” Ginny laughed walking to her identical room.
“Sure why not. I just have to get ready,” Rachel took out one of her two suitcases and put it on the bed. “What should I wear?” she yelled across to Ginny’s room.
“Perfume. You stink of human and it’ll make a few people hungry.” Ginny had already changed into a short white skirt and a dark red crop top. She looked good and Rachel envied her. Sticking her head into the doorway, Ginny asked, “Want me to wait for you?”
“No,” Rachel said a little too quickly, “It’ll take me a little while to decide.”
When Ginny had left, Rachel closed her door and locked it. She then took out the second suitcase and put it on the bed too. She opened both. One filled with clothes, makeup, electronics, and toiletries; the other filled with weapons, religious symbols, herbs, and vials of various substances. She was glad she’d brought a lock for her dresser.
It was a warm night and she decided to wear a skirt with short shorts, similar to what a cheerleader would wear but all light grey. She added a chunky black belt, and for her top she put on a green tank top. She had hard wide shoulders from all her training.
She finished the outfit off with a pair of black leather boots. They were her favourite, mostly for the built in knife sheaths. She then put on her weapons. The skirt hid two blades, the belt was lined with throwing knives and she had a small pistol in the small of her back. A garrotte was hidden in her braid.
As she stared at herself in the mirror, she didn’t like what she saw, but she wasn’t here to be liked, she was here for vengeance. The final part of her outfit was a small bottle of perfume that had been blessed by three holy men and a high priestess. She squirted a little of the lilac scented perfume on her neck and inner wrists.
“Time to get to work,” she mumbled as she walked out of her dorm.
Gandalf and Tauriel
Tauriel would be a good companion, but I’m not sure Gandalf would be. I think he’d take over. What do you think?
I am helping to organize a new craft fair that is happening March 21, 2015. It is called CON Creative Ottawa Nerds. You can say that you’re going to the event here, and you can like our Facebook page here. Éric wrote about it here.
The Ridiculous Adventures of Felix Felicis – Part Nine
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8
“Hello Sir,” Felix said, feeling rested but hungry as he looked down the barrel of the thin man’s gun. He resisted the urge to tell the bank robber how dirty the barrel of his gun looked from this angle.
“Don’t sir me, you ugly mook. Just give me all your money,” The man looked like a good wind would blow him over, but he had what Felix thought was a “Tommy Gun” pointed at a room full of bank clientele.
“I’m sorry I really have nothing of value on me,” Felix ignored the rude comments and repeated what he’d told the man and his wife.
“Search him, Claire,” said the man.
“He’s clean, got nothing on him, Donnie,” said the short dumpy woman.
“Donnie and Claire?” mumbled Felix. Why couldn’t he get name brand villains instead of cheap knockoffs?
Just as Donnie turned to point his rather large gun at another client, the little bell on top of the entrance rang and a large man forced his way through the doorway, similar to the way canned cranberries slump out of their can.
As the man entered, Donnie turned his ridiculously large gun towards the man. Felix then did something that he never thought he’d do. He punched Donnie as hard as he could in the face. The gun went off releasing a spray of bullets that shot a few windows, as it and Donnie fell to the floor.
When he looked back, Miss Eris had subdued Claire and taken away her firearm.
The large man, who wore a pinstriped suit, stopped in shock at the scene in front of him. When he recovered, he ran to Felix and shook his hand, “You have saved my life sir. How can I ever repay you? You shall come to dinner at my home tonight.”
It was at this point that Felix started to wonder if something like fate, destiny, or dumb luck was guiding their trip. Appearing in the middle of a bank heist seemed the least likely way to get invited to dinner at a gangster’s home, but as it turned out he was once again wrong. It wasn’t anything like fate. He decided that the universe had a perverse sense of humour and was enjoying toying with him.
* * *
The problem with a formal dinner was that Felix hadn’t eaten anything in … He wasn’t sure but it felt like days. He just wanted to attack the food and not worry about what people thought. It was a rare emotion for him. He always tried to be tidy and clean, but hunger made him sloppy and grumpy.
All thoughts left his head when he smelled the food. It tasted heavenly and he had the hardest time paying attention to any conversation.
When dessert was finally served after several courses of heavenly food, Amanda leaned over to him and said, “How do you suppose we get the diamond?”
As an answer, he shrugged, “We’ve done it before, so we’ll do it again.”
“The depression has taken its toll on all of us, hasn’t it, Mister Felicis?” The large gangster asked.
“Yes, I supposed it has. I must say I haven’t eaten this well in years,” Felix winked at Amanda. Small talk about politics and the evils of prohibition dominated the after-dinner conversation. When he felt it was appropriate, Felix suggested, “Could we have a tour of your lovely home?”
It was a beautiful house, just outside the city, built in the grand Federal style with hints of Greek-Revival, reminiscent of the White House and the Tara plantation in Gone with the Wind, one of Felix’s favourite movies.
As they walked, Felix offered Amanda his arm. It served two purposes letting them whisper to each other and having her close. The latter being something Felix desperately wanted. She infuriated him with her illogical views of the universe, and that she was always right, but she was kind and friendly and seemed to generally care for him.
As she held his arm her hands were warm, everything was warm in what must have been summer heat, and he didn’t envy the armed men who continued to wear their pinstriped suits despite the weather. Felix had taken off his jacket, but not his coat and rolled up his dress shirt’s sleeves. “Clever idea getting a tour, this way we can find out where the diamond is being held.” Amanda whispered in his ear.
Trying not to sound flustered he replied, “I hadn’t thought of it. I just really like the house.” He looked at her expecting disappointment or contempt, instead he saw a glint of laughter in her eyes and wide smile.
“You two make a wonderful couple,” said the large gangster.
“Oh, we’re not a couple,” Felix said looking at Amanda for some sort of contradiction.
“We’ve only known each other for a few days, but I have greatly enjoyed his company. Unfortunately we’re from different worlds.” With those worlds Amanda shattered Felix’s fragile male ego and his hopes.
“It’s not where we start that matters, my friends, but where you end up and who you journey with. Ah, to be young like you.” The gangster paused as if lost in reflection. He looked older than Felix had first thought. He then led them into a large room, “Since my wife passed away, bless her, I have collected beauty in every form.” He opened a set of double doors and Felix was worried about what the man considered beauty.
The room was filed with pieces of art. A Van Gogh, several Monets, and lots of ancient vases. All in a large aisle to a dais with a large diamond on it.
When they were in front of the diamond, Felix looked at their host and said, “Thank you for your hospitality.” With that, he took the diamond with one hand and Miss Eris’s hand with the other.
With his hopes of romance squashed, he had a renewed fervor to return to his old life. As the world twisted and melted away he yearned for his couch and a good book.
Eowyn
Eowyn would probably have run away with the Doctor before she met Faramir. What do you guys think?
This costumer will be selling shoes and costumes at CON Creative Ottawa Nerds. Come and say hi!
I am helping to organize a new craft fair that is happening March 21, 2015. It is called CON Creative Ottawa Nerds. You can say that you’re going to the event here, and you can like our Facebook page here. Éric wrote about it here.