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Hello Cinephiles,
Today we’re talking about the 2004 and 2011 movies Spy Kids 3: Game Over and Spy Kids 4-D: All the Time in the World.
I reviewed Spy Kids 1 and 2 in a previous post
Story
Spy Kids 3
Villain captured in a cyber prison turns that prison into a game in order to enslave kids minds and …? Spy organization sends kid spy into game to find his sister and shut the game down.
It has serious potential but there was so little story and what there was, was confusing, ableist, or just boring. I spent most of the movie shaking my head or yelling at the main character. The first two were all about family but this one barely makes a cameo out of everything.
Score: 0
Spy Kids 4
It took seven years for people to forget about the last one. This one brings in new kids, new parents, and a very updated OSS. The time manipulation was utterly unbelievable and made my head hurt.
The story did go back to it’s roots and become all about family. The cameos by the original kids was great.
Score: 0.5
Characters
Spy Kids 3
They really tried to make Juni the sensitive outsider here and it failed completely. He’s basically a bumbling idiot. While in the others he and his sister bumble together and solve the problem, in this one the villain is helping him win and his sister is only in a tiny part of the movie.
Stalone is fantastic at chewing the scenery but his character is confused, confusing, and barely above useful. And don’t get me started on the one girl character.
Score: 0
Spy Kids 4
The characters in this were much better and less insulting stereotypes. I like that the boy being hearing impaired doesn’t make him weak, I like that the mom kicks ass while pregnant, I like that the kids are smart again. That being said, they were all a little bland as characters.
Score: 0.5
Dialogue
Spy Kids 3
There’s a scene near the beginning where the main character is talking about family and another character says, “Everyone is family Juni.”
His reply is, “That doesn’t any sense.”
That’s the best description of this movie. Nonsensical drivel followed by insipid dialogue.
Score: 0
Spy Kids 4
It wasn’t great but it wasn’t terrible. There are a few good puns and a lot of clock or time jokes. It’s ok.
Score: 0.5
Visuals and Music
Spy Kids 3
I thought 2 had a lot of 3D gimmicks and stupidity. This one practically based the entire movie on it. It’s cheesy pseudo computer game graphics for the entire movie. It looked bad sixteen years ago and looks worse now. The music was better.
Score: 0.5
Spy Kids 4
It took a few movies but they finally moved back to the hyper-saturated cartoon look of the first one. The action well done and the scenery is great. The music wasn’t fantastic but it was pretty good.
Score: 0.5
Fun
Spy Kids 3
The beginning and the end are a lot of fun and the middle parts are interesting if non-nonsensical and dumb.
Score: 0.5
Spy Kids 4
This was my daughters favourite of the four. She said it’s cause there was a dog and a baby. I liked it because it was a fun kids action movie. It doesn’t hold up to the original, but it was ok.
Score: 1
Overall
Spy Kids 3
Taking out the sibling dynamic from this series was a mistake. This movie doesn’t live up to the first and frankly is one of the worst movies I’ve seeen. It’s not offensive (Except the honeypot, nerd bashing, and ableism) just boring.
Final Score: 1 Star
Spy Kids 4
This movie tried to recreate the whimsy and awesomeness of the first but doesn’t quite get there. It’s bogged down by fart jokes and 3D gags along with a premise that makes my head hurt if I think about it too hard.
Final Score: 3 Stars