Sex

Blush: Chest pain during pregnancy

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The past few nights, I have slept with my Teddy.

This is not my Teddy. This one looks more like Raoul, Dragon’s sleep bear. Image from www.chapters.indigo.ca

He was given to me by my grandfather when I was born, and he is VERY well worn. I haven’t really slept with him since I was a teenager (possibly earlier, but I don’t remember the exact age when I stopped cuddling him in my sleep).

So why am I all of a sudden cuddling him again?

Because yes. (Sorry. Inside joke.)

I am cuddling my Teddy because I need the extra support between my arms as I lie on my side, otherwise my rib cage feels like it’s being crushed. And Teddy is exactly the right size to give that support and allow for easy rolling over.

Chest pain was not something I experienced in my first pregnancy. Heartburn, yes. Feeling like my upper arm was too heavy and crushing my sternum, no.

This seems to be a fairly common symptom, or at least, it was easy to find a reason why I was feeling this way. The expanding uterus puts pressure on the diaphragm, causing the rib cage to widen. Poof, pain. It’ll go back to normal once the baby is here because my internal organs will go back to their normal places.

If I had to guess, I would say that the placement of the placenta is what is causing the differences between this pregnancy and the last. The last one, I had an anterior placenta (forwards), and this time it’s up top.

Differences:

  • last time, I couldn’t stand the pain and nausea of being on my stomach, even at the very beginning; this time, I have woken up on my stomach several times and the only thing that hurts is my back
  • last time, no chest pain; this time, chest definitely hurts
  • last time, baby was mostly on the right side of my body (I felt very lopsided in third trimester); this time, baby is hanging out at the very bottom almost constantly (we’ll see what happens in third trimester)
  • last time, didn’t really grow out very much; this time, I feel like I’m already the size I was when I delivered

Hmm…that last one doesn’t really fit the hypothesis – you’d think the anterior placenta would mean a bigger belly because it’s taking up more room.

Reference

UPMC

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Blush: New game?

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On March 4th, Global News* reported on a new interactive game* for mobile, called “Clit-Me”, designed to simulate different “techniques” to “satisfy” the clitoris avatar. Each of the five levels unlocks content and statistics on sexual satisfaction.

*Please note: gendered language is used throughout the article and game.

Image from globalnews.ca

This game was designed by eight interns at NFB’s Digital Studio in Montreal during their internship through the Université du Québec à Montreal (UQAM). During their research into the statistics on clitoral orgasms, they discovered that only 62% reached climax with a first time partner compared to 85% of those with a penis. So they decided to build a game that might help to close that gap.

I played it. It’s cute. A little clunky at times (especially the multi-touch level), but cute. This game is only available on mobile devices.

If you’re enjoying the Blush blogs, consider learning more with Blush: The Card Game from Renaissance Press.

Blush: Unconditional Surrender Statue

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You may have heard that, following the death of George Mendonsa earlier this week, the statue depicting the iconic kiss at the announcement of Japan’s surrender at the end of WW2 was vandalized.

Statue depicting the iconic kiss at the announcement of Japan’s surrender and the end of WW2. The outside of the left leg of the nurse has been graffitied with “#METOO”.

I had heard that the nurse in the picture/statue had not known the sailor that had kissed her, but this vandalism made me curious to know more.

Fortunately, there is an article in The Smithsonian that had a chance to interview the nurse, Greta Zimmer Friedman. She died in 2016 at the age of 92. And while she remembers the event as “not romantic, but of celebration of the war being over” (paraphrasing), she also describes it as “not her choice to be kissed, the guy just came over and grabbed.” (paraphrasing).

Some interpret her statements as descriptions of sexual assault. However, Greta herself did not view it as assault, although she did understand the argument for it. (source NYT, as described by her son)
“[…]she made it clear the kiss was a “jubilant act” and “it was just an event of ‘thank god the war is over.'” ” (source BBC.com)

I am privileged to have grown up in a world that has not known war on the scale of WW2. I cannot imagine the relief, jubilation, and freedom that the announcement of the War being over would have caused.

No matter the cause of his excitement, or her retroactive approval, he should have asked for consent first. This isn’t a radical idea; simply respect others’ bodily autonomy. A quick question along the lines of, “Kiss?” or, “May I kiss you?”, would have had the same outcome.

Now, to get back to the vandalism of the statue, it cost $1000 USD to repair the damage.

The person who vandalized the statue was out of line. Although vandalism can be used as an effective, illegal, and destructive, form of protest, it feels disproportionate and disrespectful in this particular case. Damaging other’s property is against the law, no matter how much you disagree with the message.

It would have been better if they had printed a copy of the picture, graffitied on that, and taped it in front of the statue. Water soluble paint or chalk could have worked too. No damage done to anyone’s property, and the message would have gotten across.

Thoughts?

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Blush: Sophie Labelle in Ottawa

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This is an emergency Blush post.

Sophie Labelle (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram) is giving a talk in Ottawa on Monday, February 11, 2019 at Venus Envy on Bank St.

She is an incredible artist (Assigned Male Comics) and public speaker. She will be answering questions in French and English and then signing her books (available at time of the talk if you don’t already have any of them).

If you’re enjoying the Blush blogs, consider learning more with Blush: The Card Game from Renaissance Press.

Blush: Recommendation Wednesday: Time article about teens

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My cousin shared this article from Time a couple weeks ago.

Image from www.time.com

It brings up some excellent points about the disconnect between what teenagers are taught and how the “rules” are applied in reality.

For one thing, when most teenagers (and adults) think about rapists, they think of some murky, shadowy stranger armed to the teeth lying in wait for their victims in the bushes.

Which is incorrect.

Rapists look like anyone who doesn’t listen when their partner says no.

Rapists are anyone who doesn’t get (and I quote from the article) “[…]consent needs to be
informed, enthusiastic, sober, ongoing and freely given.”

We should be teaching everyone about consent.

I mean, if my 2 year old can get it, then so can teenagers and adults. It’s not that hard, once you’re taught how it works.

If you’re enjoying the Blush blogs, consider learning more with Blush: The Card Game from Renaissance Press.

Blush: Binding and Care

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I wrote about binding a while ago, but the other day, a post about self-care while binding crossed my dash, and I wanted to share it with you.

Image from www.gabrieljoffelmt.com

So go check out the post! It includes how to bind safely, breathing and relaxation, stretching, and self massage techniques.

If you’re enjoying the Blush blogs, consider learning more with Blush: The Card Game from Renaissance Press.

Blush: Early Pregnancy Symptoms

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Back in August, I asked the moms of Dragon’s due date group if they had any super early warning signs that they were pregnant. I’m talking about before a missed period and before an hCG test would show a positive.

It seemed like an appropriate time to ask, as many of the moms were announcing second (or third) pregnancies.

I got an excellent response. Many of the moms had unusual early pregnancy symptoms, as the only symptom mentioned pre-week 4 in any of the research I did was mild cramping/spotting.

Dragon chose the colour. Image from amazon.

Common

  • mild cramping and spotting can happen as early as 1 week after the last menstrual period (LMP)

Uncommon (according to my informal research done on the subject)

  • tired
  • ovaries hurt when sneezing or coughing
  • breasts hurt/get hard/sore
  • pimples
  • abdomen hard/cramping/pulling feeling
  • bloating
  • heartburn
  • nausea
  • couldn’t drink/taste coffee (taste sensitivities)
  • extreme lower back pain
  • tasting blood (copper taste in mouth)
  • vivid dreams
  • sensitive skin
  • sensitive to smells
  • there are tons more

Lots of these “uncommon” symptoms show up later in pregnancy-related research. So why is there only one symptom listed pre-week 4?

There are a couple reasons for this, one being that it is hard to study people who don’t know they’re pregnant yet. Another, in my opinion, is that every pregnancy is so different, even in the same family, so the results are varied that it’s hard to publish because there’s no consistency.

Or you could be like me, and have no symptoms at all until I see a positive on the pregnancy test. Does that mean my symptoms are psychosomatic? Perhaps. And that is pretty hard to prove.

References

https://www.healthline.com/health/pregnancy/early-symptoms-timeline

https://www.kidspot.com.au/birth/pregnancy/signs-and-symptoms/first-symptoms-of-pregnancy-what-happens-right-away/news-story/2683c7eed8bb3fe71f95599078bddea5

https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/getting-pregnant/in-depth/symptoms-of-pregnancy/art-20043853

Blush: Porn Data

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If you are on the internet, your activity is tracked.

Image from qz.com.

Porn sites are no exception. You don’t even have to be logged into an account, and your selections, pauses, fast forwards, and screenshots are saved and put into a data mining engine.

If you do have an account, they use this data to give you better options that suit your tastes.

Fortunately for the privacy of its clients, the data collected is not sold to third parties, at least not from MindGeek, the primary company that owns most of the porn (and other sites) on the internet.

You can read more about how the data is collected and what they do with it here.

If you’re enjoying the Blush blogs, consider learning more with Blush: The Card Game from Renaissance Press.

Blush: Light-hearted

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The other day, I was at my first physio appointment in a very long time, and the first for my hips. (Did you know that hips are two separate charges? Bah) I was SO not prepared.

They let me borrow a pair of shorts, and as I was sitting on the bench getting my upper thigh massaged, I looked down at my legs in the harsh lighting of the physio office and shrieked internally.

Now, I am not particularly vain. I am not offended (or any other negative word) if I or others choose not to shave. However, I was not expecting to see hair on myself, so I was rather shocked. I pushed it out of my mind until the next day, when I decided to do something about it.

And I thought I’d write a blog post about how I have to shave my legs. Because it’s funny and light, and why not?

A Mini Highland Cow. Isn’t it adorable? Image from www.boredpanda.com.

One way:

I sit on the edge of the tub and use shaving cream, water, and a razor. This is relatively low stress, more thorough, and incidentally, how I shaved my legs on the morning I finally went into labour with Dragon.

The second way:

In the shower. I don’t use shaving cream. I prop my foot up on the edge of the tub under the shower spray and blindly (because I’m legally blind without my glasses on) feel with one hand while the other uses the razor. I use this way most often because it’s faster. However, it leads to missing patches. I can then catch these after I get out, and do a quick shave of those spots.

Or, you know, I can catch them at the next physio appointment.

You know, I was really looking forward to winter so I wouldn’t have to care about shaving. Oh well. At least it feels satiny on my bed sheets.

If you’re enjoying the Blush blogs, consider learning more with Blush: The Card Game from Renaissance Press.

Blush: Spot Check

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This post is about when there is unusual or unexpected blood spotting.

I thought this was a funny picture for this post; the dog’s name is Spot. Image from www.junkee.com

Why might this happen?

  • hormonal imbalance
    • thyroid issues
    • ovulation
    • starting or stopping birth control (pills, patch, IUD, shots)
    • emergency contraceptive
    • menopause and perimenopause
  • PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome)
  • pregnancy
    • implantation
    • ectopic pregnancy
    • miscarriage
    • termination
  • infection
    • STI
    • douching
    • intercourse
    • pelvic inflammatory disease
  • cancer
  • uterine fibroids
  • polyps (I don’t know why I love the way that word sounds)
  • endometriosis
  • object insertion
  • diabetes

What should be done?

Go see your doctor. I am not a medical professional. I can’t diagnose anyone. But if you’re concerned, go see someone who is and can!

Reasons you should be concerned:

  • pain
  • fatigue
  • dizziness
  • fever
  • heavy or persistent bleeding in between normal menstrual cycle

References

https://www.healthline.com/health/vaginal-bleeding-between-periods#causes

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/321811.php

https://www.everydayhealth.com/news/spotting-between-periods-should-you-worry/

https://www.nhs.uk/common-health-questions/womens-health/what-causes-bleeding-between-periods/

https://www.health.com/menstruation/spotting-before-between-period

If you’re enjoying the Blush blogs, consider learning more with Blush: The Card Game from Renaissance Press.