virginity

Blush: Virginity

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I will be at Can-Con this weekend, barring delivery obviously, and you can buy your copy of Blush there for the first time ever!! I am ridiculously excited to hold it in my hands!

I have been reticent to talk about the concept of virginity for many reasons, the dominant one being because of how much of it comes down to opinion. I try very hard to keep my opinions out of these Q&A Blush posts, and it’s never easy.

A pure white flower is often the depiction of virginity. I chose a peony because it's one of my favourite flowers, and it's symbolic in a way - ants have to eat away the exterior waxy coat before the flower can bloom. Image from www.bridgewatergardens.com
A pure white flower is often the depiction of virginity. I chose a peony because it’s one of my favourite flowers, and it’s symbolic in a way – ants have to eat away the exterior waxy coat before the flower can bloom. Image from www.bridgewatergardens.com

Question

Where did the concept of virginity come from?

Answer

Originally, the term came from Greek goddesses Artemis and Hestia. They were unmarried goddesses, and labelled as “virgin” because they were strong and independent women, and capable of resisting the temptations of Dionysus – the god of seduction and wine. Virgin was a word of power.

Unfortunately, in the medieval ages, the term was turned into what we automatically assume today – a virgin as a heterosexual person with a vagina who has not had sexual intercourse with a person with a penis. Tests of chastity were performed, which looked for such things as an unbroken hymen. Please read my post about hymens from last September here. Not only are some people born without a hymen, but they degrade over time.

Something to consider, for the medieval ages – they married at a much younger age than by today’s standards, so it is possible that the hymen had not degraded fully at the time of marriage. But can you imagine if such a test were performed now?

The common definition today is someone who has not been penetrated or penetrated another sexually. It is important to remember that virginity is a social construct and has no physical or biological effects or definition.

Question

How does one lose one’s virginity?

Answer

Let me repeat that virginity is a social construct, and therefore not a stable fact. The way to lose your virginity depends on your definition of virginity.

At the risk of being pedantic, the better question is “Why does it matter if you’ve had sex?” This is a question you need to decide for yourself (or with the help of a medical professional, therapist, or religious leader).

Again, there is no physical, chemical, or biological basis or effect from having penetrative sex.

Important

Whether you and your partner are “virgins” or not, it is extremely important that you are tested for STIs (there are many ways to contract STIs that do not involve sex) and it’s important you use protection.

References

http://www.pamf.org/teen/sex/virginity/defining.html

https://www.plannedparenthood.org/teens/sex/virginity

Laci Green

Dr. Lindsey Doe

Adam Ruins Everything

Blush: Swimming and Periods

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Before I get started on the post, I’d like to share a piece of good news I got yesterday from my publisher. The Blush cards have been completed, and the printer has shipped them! They should be arriving at the publisher’s on Monday! I am ridiculously excited about this, as it is earlier than anticipated. Whee!!

Pre-Order your copy!

Fu Yuanhui is a Chinese swimmer in the Rio Olypmics. Image from www.shockmansion.com
Fu Yuanhui is a Chinese swimmer in the Rio Olypmics. Image from www.shockmansion.com

This Chinese swimmer got her period during the Olympics. The day before her race. And apparently she gets debilitating cramps while on her period. Ouch. As someone who (usually) bleeds every month, it surprised me that it hadn’t occurred to me before this point what athletes did about the cramping that (might) come with their periods while during a meet.

Apparently it hadn’t occurred to me because it’s a taboo to discuss it in the sports world. Really? Ok then. Not my place at all to judge. But it certainly surprised me to hear that. But what surprised me even more was what was said as I continued to read the article; only 2% of Chinese people who get their periods use tampons. (In the US, 42% of menstruating people use tampons, for comparisons sake.)

I am a swimmer. Not competitively, but I was a lifeguard. I taught swimming lessons. I love the water. I used tampons from age 14-23. Not always successfully… but that’s a story for another time. Now (when needed) I use a menstrual cup called a Diva Cup.

So to hear that only 2%, TWO PER CENT, use tampons… it boggles my mind. How do they swim? Or do they just forgo swimming one week every month?

Not only do they not use tampons, but a lot of people aren’t even aware that they exist. Or weren’t, until Fu Yuanhui talked about swimming on her period on national television. Apparently someone even accused her of lying about being on her period, because how could she swim?

Hopefully this opens up a healthy discussion about menstruation and the variety of products available, and more menstruating people can have the opportunities that were so long denied to them.

P.S. If you go and read the article, there is more content, including whether menstruation affects sports performance, and whether using a tampon stops the person from being a virgin. The former would be an incredibly long post involving a lot of research that has yet to be done conclusively, and the latter is another post entirely – about what virginity means. I’ve been avoiding talking about this subject because I’m afraid of including too much of my opinions, but I think it’s time for that discussion…in two weeks.

P.P.S. If you are interested in doing a guest post about a topic that would fall under Blush, please let me know! This can be done with credit given, or anonymously. Please contact us at jenericdesigns@gmail.com