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Hello Cinephiles,
Today we’re talking about the 2023 film Spy Kids: Armageddon.
Story
I can’t stand stories that require parents to be stupid and incompetent. On top of that, the story is a watered-down remake of the original. Don’t get me started on the weird magical computer stuff.
Score: 0
Characters
The kids were fantastic actors and did a great job with what they were given. The parents were terrible at everything including being likeable. The main villain was interesting but his story arc felt too fast and shoehorned in.
The spy organization was even more of a joke than usual.
Score: 0.5
Dialogue
It’s hard to believe this was the same writer who wrote, “Do you think God stays in Heaven because He too lives in fear of what He’s created”.
The dialogue is saccharine and bland.
Score: 0
Visuals and Music
Once again, the movie relies on special effects and videogame tropes instead of good action or locations. It makes the movie look cheap and dated even only two years later.
The music was acceptable but not great.
Score: 0.5
Fun
The kids liked it but all the adults were unimpressed. I find that the weird fun of the first one never translated the the rest of the series and it’s worse for lack of it.
Score: 0
Overall
This movie could have been a tumblr meme screenshotted to Facebook. It’s a self-indulgent remake of a much better movie. The only thing that shines is the optimism and the kids.
Final Score: 1 Stars out of 5