Éric has had an eclectic career which ranges from casino dealer to canal boat captain to radio station DJ. Since 2009, he’s worked as a desktop publisher for the federal government. During his off time, he works as a freelance typesetter for various Canadian-based authors and publishers, roasts gourmet flavoured coffee, runs several pen-and-paper role-playing games, writes, and helps run JenEric-Designs.ca (Home of the TravellingTARDIS.com).
He lives in Ottawa, Ontario with his author wife, daughter, and son.
In case you weren’t aware, Monsters! Incidental Wedding Guests is a wedding book, which means lots of family. This book has a humungous cast of characters, and we actually included a list at the back of the book because there are just so many people.
Zoe Johnson
Appearance inspired by Nhumi Threadgill
Age: 24
Date of Birth: Sep 19, 1978
Appearance: dark brown hair, hazel eyes, tall, golden brown skin
Job: city planner consultant for urban infrastructure planning, co-head of the Oldtown Council, and part-time teacher for the kid’s classes at Judy’s dojo
Parents: Hammond and Monique Johnson, both deceased.
Family: married to Gabrielle, one daughter Brooke (just shy of 2 years old); grandmother Kathryn Johnson
Lilah Fairfield
Appearance inspired by Robin Wright
Age: 57
Date of Birth: March 6, 1946
Appearance: Blonde hair that is whitening, blue eyes, medium height, white
Job: Farmer (the business side) in Parry Sound, Ontario (crops)
Family: married to Gerard, daughter of Denise Lake, mother to Phillip, who is married and has one son (just shy of 2 years old); twins Eliza and MacKenzie; Kennedy, who is marrying Jason; and Tommy
Gerard Fairfield
Appearance inspired by Cary Elwes
Age: 57
Date of Birth: March 1, 1946
Appearance: short grey hair, green eyes, tall and wirey, white
Job: Farmer in Parry Sound, Ontario (crops)
Family: married to Lilah, father to Phillip, who is married and has one son (just shy of 2 years old); twins Eliza and MacKenzie; Kennedy, who is marrying Jason; and Tommy
Denise Lake
Appearance inspired by Julie Andrews
Age: 79
Date of Birth: May 23, 1924
Appearance: Long white-blonde hair, blue eyes, statuesque, white
Job: retired; volunteers at the Baker Public Library
Family: daughter Lilah, son Arthur (the adult, not the toddler, who is named for his uncle)
Kathryn Johnson
Appearance inspired by Danai Gurira
Age: unknown (older than 80) but looks in her late 20s
Date of Birth: Feb 12, 1923
Appearance: Long black hair, Black, brown eyes, strong family resemblance to her granddaughter Zoe
Job: traveller of the realms
Family: son, Hammond, dead in 2000; grandchildren: Jason and Zoe; great-grandchild Brooke
Monsters! Incidental Wedding Guests by Jen and Éric Desmarais is available now!
A touch of Epic Fantasy and a whole lot of survival horror. The movie tries too hard not to be confusing, and by doing that, it ruins any drama or empathy for the pseudo-twist. The entire first part of the movie, a prologue that over-explains, should have been cut. Everything after that would have flowed and had better emotional impact.
The story is bare-bones and could have pushed harder on the psychological horror. They also introduced the main character’s love of labyrinths which didn’t really lead anywhere.
Score: 0
Characters
The wet noodle prince, domineering queen, and weird cult like people were okay. Again, if you hadn’t been told what was coming, it could have been eerie.
The movie really survives on the charisma and acting ability of the lead, who is excellent. Special shout out to the step-mother who seriously rocks in her love for her step-daughters.
The dragon was brilliantly voiced.
Score: 0.5
Dialogue
This was mostly generic fantasy language.
It really shines when the damsel and the dragon are talking at the end, when the damsel is on her own, or whenever the dragon talks.
Score: 0.5
Visuals and Music
The dragon design was impressive, a few obvious CGI moments but overall well done. The camera angles, and frantic cuts worked well for the horror style.
The music was good.
Score: 1
Fun
The actress did a great job and despite being predictable, it was fun. I was annoyed by how much the story structure was designed for the reveal that had been blatantly stated at the beginning.
Score: 0.5
Overall
The movie mixes fantasy and horror but tries too hard not offend fans of either. Because of that, the horror is tame and doesn’t get the chance to really sink in, and the fantasy is pretty bland. If it wasn’t for the quality of the acting, the movie would be bad. As it is, it’s an okay romp with a cool dragon.
Chapter 3: Hope arrives, Sol help us if it’s false hope
People as individuals are only predictable if you know them. People as a group are always predictable. Scared people are even more.
It took me nearly a half hour to get them to shut up and listen to me. It might have taken less time if I’d done more than look at them scathingly.
When they’d finally calmed down, I said the worst possible thing, “These ships are our Allies, and despite their numbers they are nothing compared to what is coming.” That cost me another ten minutes of their panicking.
“The enemy we are facing wants only one thing, to destroy our sun and anyone it its way.” I thought this was a pretty good call to arms.
I was surprised by the Venutian Queen saying, “What if we left? The old Earth corporations did it. We could find new homes.”
The head of the Psionic Clans, a thin and gangly man with bug-like eyes, answered, “Old Earth had a few billion people, and most of them probably died in the void between galaxies. Moving the trillion inhabitants of the system is impossible.”
The room was quiet and they all looked around. It didn’t take any special psychic powers for me to know what they were thinking. They were all the rich, the ruling elite. They were trying to decide if they could save themselves.
“You could spend your fortunes on leaving or you could spend them on preparing for what’s to come. With our new allies, we can create defensive turrets, mines, build new ships, and give them more than they bargained for.” I’d hoped for a “Void, Yeah!” or something equally as motivated but instead they all furrowed their brows and thought about it.
I walked out as they argued about who was going to do what.
Again I sat down on the floor and cradled my head. “Any progress?” Suzie asked me.
“Yes, but we still have a lot of arguing to go through,” I said. She handed me some headache medicine and a bottle with water in it. “Thanks.”
“You’re getting a lot of headaches. Are you dying again?” she was glib but I could tell she was worried.
“No. Not yet. I’m just tired of all the yelling.”
She sneered at the door and then looked at me in confusion, “But the headaches have been since we found that ghost ship.”
“Not their yelling,” I said and finished the water bottle. “The yelling in my head. Sol is really chatty and the closer our enemy gets, the louder their suns’ voices get. It’s like trying to listen to your loudest friend in front of a speaker at a Martian Metal concert.”
She whistled and replied, “Ouch.” She kissed me on the head and looked uncomfortable. She wanted what any significant other would have wanted, to stop the thing that was hurting me, but as amazing a fighter as she was she couldn’t stop an armada.
Coming back into the room, I was pleasantly surprised to see that Mercurial Guild had volunteered to make the weapons, while the Venusian Empire agreed to build ships.
“Who’s going to build the matter replicators, cloaking devices, micro-sun propulsion engines, and fighter ships?” I asked.
They all looked at me like I had just spouted off a bunch of technology that didn’t exist. To be fair, that’s exactly what I’d done.
Over the coms, Adric said, “Sir, three more ships just appeared. One of them is massive.”
“Our other allies have arrived,” I said. “They have various technologies that can help us but we have to work together.” A vision hit me and I saw how one of the ships had arrived. “Diamond Stars brought us a gift.” Before they asked, I added, “Diamond Stars is the name of the captain of one of the ships, and he hijacked one of the enemy’s ships. We can use it to try and find their weakness.”
Adric routed a call from one of the ships to the conference hall, “This is Captain Ng of the Warship Ennill. We’ve been sent by the Children of the Stars to help you. Do you accept our help?”
For once, everyone in the room deferred to me. I didn’t like being chosen as the leader but I didn’t have a choice, “This is Hal, Sun Speaker of Sol. You are more than welcome. Make your way to the third planet from the Sun. I hear we have a lot of building to do.”
Captain Ng barked a small laugh and said, “You have no idea.”
When the coms cut out, I said, “They seem nice. Better than disembodied brains controlling ships.” The comment was ignored and I’m glad I didn’t have to explain about the fleet of Myrddin that had come to help defend us.
The other two ships introduced themselves. There was the Galavant captained by Captain Muldune; they had just come from a devastating war against the same enemy but all three of their solar systems were destroyed. The second was the Revenge captained by Diamond Stars. They followed and managed to get past part of the enemy fleet.
Through the noise of Sol and the other suns in my head, I heard, Hal? Can you hear me? This is Diamond Stars. Sol called for my help. His voice was deep and full.
Diamond Stars? I love that name! another voice in my head said. I’m Arzure Pendreicht but call me Zuri. Her voice was young and enthusiastic.
With that, I was no longer the only Sun Speaker of Sol. I had backup. Why didn’t that make me feel better?
Image showing the rating for the tropes in Monsters! Incidental Wedding Guests. Battle Couple, Wedding Planning, and Superheroes is about 90%, Monsters is about 75%, and Spicy is about 40%. At the bottom, there’s a “Vibes”, which has an image from the movie Argylle (2024).
Monsters! Incidental Wedding Guests by Jen and Éric Desmarais is available now!
It’s fascinating watching a story that is completely unaffected by the protagonist. Other than a lot of killing Nazis, he doesn’t do much to alter the end result.
It’s exciting and flows from one set piece to the next really well.
Score: 0.5
Characters
Indiana is tough, charismatic, wise cracking, and fluctuates between genius and fool. As an adventurer, he attracts disaster and does everything with wry wit. As an archeologist, he doesn’t do much but consult experts. I wonder what his specialty is?
Marion is the tough girl who can drink anyone under the table, shoot a gun, and runs her own bar in the tough part of Nepal. She’s also completely defenseless and screams more then my children watching this movie.
Salah is still one of my favourite characters.
The villains are evil Nazis and its nice to remember a time when we as a society were against Nazis.
Score: 0.5
Dialogue
The dialogue in this is iconic and quotable in a way only Harrison Ford and Spielberg can be.
Score: 1
Visuals and Music
The visuals are good for the time but are showing their age. The cinematography does a great job in its use of shadows.
The music is excellent and definitely big and adventurous. Perfect for the movie.
Score: 1
Fun
There isn’t a lot of cringe (outside the weird classroom scene) and I really enjoy the nostalgia, but after so many other movies, like the Librarian or Stargate, having the protagonists be hyper-competent and smart, it makes Indiana Jones feel a little less special.
The kids liked it and were a little freaked out by the faces melting until we explained how the fx were done.
Score: 0.5
Overall
One of the first archeology adventures and still a fun ride. It’s aged fairly well but the character of Indiana is often more frustrating than not. That’s in part because he’s not too bright and the uncomfortable history of archeology.
You are a teen who needs to do community service and have been placed on super-cleanup duty. Westmeath has had a rash of monster attacks and although they don’t leave any biological matter (thankfully) they do make a mess of the city. You are assigned to deal with a mess in the downtown core after a group of flying monkeys attack.
The adventure should take approximately 1-3 hours, depending on the Party.
Setting
Westmeath, Canada’s fourth largest city, is the tech hub of North America. It’s also one of the most crime-ridden cities, fueled by prominent gangs and corporate espionage. It is also a place where magic, aliens, and technology meet.
It’s June 2003 and the party is assigned to clean up the Hedy Lamarr Memorial Park in downtown after a group of flying monkeys destroyed the advanced WiFi transmitter installed in the park.
Suggested Backgrounds
The players can be anything they want, but here are some fun choices for their background:
Aetherborn: Beings created with magic and the human imagination. They are copies of sentient people from mythology or pop culture.
Alien: From all over the galaxy, Aliens have innate powers; mostly combat, but a few royals can heal.
Human: Humans are the most adaptable and scariest creatures in the universe.
Suggested Reasons for Community Service
Petty Crime: You did it and you got caught but let’s be fair it’s not that bad.
Parental Privilege: You did something bad but because of your last name or family fortune you got off easy.
University Admission: You really want to get into that university program and the best way is to have way too many extra credit activities along with your high grades.
High School Credit: It was this or parenting and there was no way you were going to carry a bag of flour around like it was a baby.
Fought Back: They started it, you ended it but you were the one who got in trouble.
Mistaken Identity: It wasn’t you but no one believes it.
Story
Part 1: Cleaning the park
The officer who’s in charge of the group gives them their cleaning tools and then tells them to clean up the park. He then leaves to find “decent coffee”.
The park is set between three large buildings and is a perfect square. The walls of the building have been painted in murals dedicated to women scientists. In the center of the park is a four-metre tall statue of Hedy Lamarr. There is a swing set, several trees, a slide, and a destroyed plot that must have been a flower garden.
The park is filthy, covered in shards of glass, metal, and more garbage than the players have ever seen.
Let the players talk amongst themselves. With a Luck or Mind check of 3, they find pieces of the WiFi transmitter with DoorTech logos on it. With a Mind of 4 they recognize the tech as not being human design.
Have the players all do a Mind check and have the highest remember that the statue used to be a hologram and not a large brass statue.
Part 2: Gang encounter
As they are cleaning, a group of men in purple jackets come by and start heckling them. They are a local gang called the Blue Bloods. If one of the players has done something criminally impressive, they try to recruit them. There are the same amount of gang members as players.
The gang members are aggressive in their taunts and recruitment. Either way they are looking for a fight. The players can avoid a fight by bluffing that they’ll join, intimidating, or outsmarting them. Have the players role against the gang members’ Luck.
Part 3: Strange noises and a big red button
After the gang members leave, their chaperone comes back and berates them for how little they’ve done before leaving for more coffee.
A Luck, Body, or Mind of 2 will have them finding a large button hiding in the mural of Hedy Lamarr. There are weird squeaks and chirps coming from behind the mural. If they press it, it opens a large door that leads to a staircase going down.
Part 4: Monkeys in the secret room
If the players choose not to go into the secret area or even hit the button, have 3-5 Flying Monkeys come out of the door as they go back to cleaning.
If they decided to explore, they will find a secret surveillance lab. A Mind or Luck 2 will have them realize that Door Tech has found a way to use WiFi to map and surveil areas, which was why they’d installed the large WiFi transmitter.
There is a door at the other side of the lab that seems to be a weapons cache.
As they decide to leave the room, 3-5 flying monkeys fly in from outside and attack.
Part 5: Statue
Once the players have fought the monkeys, have the police officer return and offer them a donut. It will heal 2 health.
If they tell him what happened, he doesn’t believe them, if they don’t, he sits on a swing and starts to eat a donut.
Just as the players are finishing up the park cleaning, they find an inscription at the base of the statue that says, “All creative people want to do the unexpected.” It’s attributed to Hedy Lamarr and once they’ve read it, the statue comes to life and tries to kill them. The police officer faints.
The statue disappears after it’s defeated.
Conclusion
After they’ve defeated the statue, three military vehicles with the DoorTech logo show up and interrogate the players. A luck or mind 3 will be enough to bluff that they haven’t seen anything. The police officer wakes up and helps the players get away from the DoorTech security teams.
If the players go to the police about the underground they are dismissed as making stuff up. If they go back, the button is gone. Have the players be visited, together or separately, by either the Blue Bloods or DoorTech with offers of scholarships, recruitment, internships, or something else the player(s) would want.
If the players have cruised through the adventure, you can have them visited by the local superhero team of the Phantom and the Wraith. The heroes believe them and want to know more. They promise to get to the bottom of it.
Opponents
Blue Bloods
Flying Monkey
Statue
Health
5
2
6
Defence
5
5
6
Body
3
0
4
Mind
0
3
0
Luck
3
3
4
Abilities
Brass Knuckles 2 Stun Gun 2
Bite 2 Scratch 1
Giant fist 2 Explode Electronic 2
Read More about Westmeath in Monsters! Incidental Wedding Guests
The week before Kennedy and Jason’s wedding is busy. There are cake tastings, dress fittings, a formal ball, and, as their superhero personas the Phantom and the Wraith, fighting monsters.
These behemoths are destructive, smell like snack food, and are only after one thing: Door Tech Industries technology.
Adding to the chaos are their friends and families; Jason’s grandmother has returned after having been missing for half a century, Kennedy’s mom is dead-set on keeping things traditional, and Jason’s best friend is kidnapped before the rehearsal.
Kennedy and Jason just want to get married, preferably before the next monster attack.
The second book of four in The Gates of Westmeath series.
Have you ever read, listened, or watched something and had no one to talk to about it? Have you ever tried selling something you’re proud of and no one be interested? Have you ever posted something you thought was super witty on a social media and no one commented?
If you have, you know what it’s like to be an author. The books I have written, and co-written, are my passion. I love the stories, the characters, the world, and would love to chat about them more. Most people get a glazed look in their eyes when I start.
I’m not sure what I was expecting when I started publishing. Fame? Fortune? Fans? Respect? Acknowledgement? I really thought that it would be easier after I got published. I also didn’t realize the amount of work an author has to do after the book is out. Marketing and selling are not my strengths and it’s discouraging.
The books I’ve written with Jen have been selling well. Mostly because she’s rocking the marketing material. I’m honestly in awe of everything she manages to do and still have time for writing.
I’m starting to understand that it’s more about selling yourself and less about selling your book and unless you go viral or best seller you restart with every book. Sell yourself to the agent/publisher, then the reader, then repeat… It’s exhausting.
I just want to write my stories and improve my craft but I also have to learn to be an editor, graphic designer, artist, creator, copy writer, marketer, sales person, public speaker, and a hundred other things. It makes me tired and it makes me wonder if it’s worth the time and effort (which is definitely not enough) I put into it.
I’m sorry for whining. I’m lucky to have the financial freedom to write, the privilege of being published, and the platform to complain.
One thing I know for certain, is that I love writing. Everything else, not so much.
I think it might be time to re-think what I want from writing and what I need to do to get there.
Sorry for the slight downer of a post.
Stay safe and be kind,
Éric
A Study in AetherThe Sign of FaustA Case of SynchronicityCoffee Shop Between The ‘VersesThe Mystery of the Dancing LightsParasomniaEverdomeAssassins! Accidental MatchmakersMonsters! Incidental Wedding GuestsAll books available at your favourite bookstore, Renaissance Press, or get a signed copy from JenEric Coffee Store
Today we’re talking about the 2000 film Fantasia 2000.
Story
Like the first, this isn’t a regular movie and feels more like an anthology with various forms of storytelling. It’s creative and absolutely engrossing. Unlike the original, it’s extremely short; over an hour shorter then the first. The rhythm between the stories wasn’t as smooth.
Score: 0.5
Characters
Again, there aren’t many speaking roles in the stories themselves, but the characters were strong and interesting.
Score: 1
Dialogue
I liked that they re-used some of the original narration and added some celebrities. The part with Mickey looking for Donald was particularly funny. Most of the jokes hold up well for being almost 25.
Score: 1
Visuals and Music
The animation is pretty but there are places they used 3D animation and it didn’t age well. The whales at times looked plastic and poorly rendered. When the shorts were traditionally animated they looked fabulous.
The music is great. I recognized all the pieces and loved how they were put together.
Score: 0.5
Fun
It had enough of the feel of the original to be nostalgic and it was a lot of fun.
The kids liked this one better because they say it has less scary parts.
Score: 1
Overall
An attempt to recreate a classic that almost gets there but like it’s runtime, falls short. On its own it’s still a lot of fun to watch.
At first, the story feels insultingly simple and a little over-the-top. Once the twists start coming in, the inconsistencies not only make sense but are quite clever. There’s a lot of little details sprinkled throughout that telegraph the twists but doesn’t feel cheap.
Score: 1
Characters
The problem with Matthew Vaughn, the director, is that his characters are very over-the-top and it often feels forced. I did like that the worlds of fiction and reality merged. The downside to it is that some character stories are obvious early on.
That being said, this movie is filled with actors who ooze charisma and at no point is watching them boring.
Score: 0.5
Dialogue
Pure cheese that covers up a lot of world building and story. The dialogue sometimes feels like it’s there to be quippy, but it’s always doing three things at once and it’s frankly amazing.
Score: 1
Visuals and Music
This is a surreal action movie and no one does over-the-top action like Vaughn. It’s so pretty and ridiculous that you can only love or hate it.
The soundtrack is spectacular and the score does everything right.
Score: 1
Fun
Once I remembered what sort of movie I was watching, I greatly enjoyed it. Jen and my mother in-law loved it too. That ice skating scene was so much fun.
It’s fun and clever.
Score: 1
Overall
If you like your spy movies dark, gritty, and realistic, this isn’t for you. This is a big action homage to Romancing the Stone with all the twists, turns, and ridiculousness the director is known for.
