Puzzle!

I found this site that allows for any picture to be transformed into a digital puzzle. For free. And you can play for free.

So I obviously IMMEDIATELY uploaded the cover of Assassins! Accidental Matchmakers. I mean, wouldn’t you want to do a puzzle of an awesome book cover?

You would?

How fortuitous!

Aassassins! Accidental Matchmakers is available for pre-order now! Get it locally (49th shelf helps you find the local stores that have it available), through Indigo, or through Amazon (Canada, US, and International all have it, I can’t link to them all, I’m sorry but it’s really easy to find!).

The Emperor’s New Groove – JenEric Movie Review

How This Works – Read Other Reviews

Hello Cinephiles,

Today we’re talking about the 2000 film The Emperor’s New Groove.

Story

Irreverent to the point of absurd, this movie does a great job at setting up all its major plot points with clever jokes and gags. Simple plot that seems like unconnected gags at first, but ties everything together by the end.

Score: 1

Characters

I love these characters. Kuzco is a perfect jerk, Pacha is the sweetest, Yzma is great evil, and Kronk is utterly adorable. Each plays their part perfectly and I couldn’t imagine anyone else playing the roles.

That being said, it’s a bunch of white people playing South Americans (with the exception of the kids and the fantastic Eartha Kitt.) The movie is quite clearly supposed to be set in a fictional version of the Incan Empire, but that’s only set dressing and doesn’t mean anything.

Score: 0.5

Dialogue

The dialogue in this is burned into my subconscious and speech patterns. The jokes are so expertly crafted that even after having seen this hundreds of times, I still laugh.

Score: 1

Visuals and Music

The detail in the animation and the background jokes are excellent. It’s pretty and very well animated.

They got Tom Jones and Sting to do songs for this. If I had a complaint, it’s that a few times the music was a little generic turn of the millennium Disney. But that still means it was excellent.

Score: 1

Fun

We waited a little to let my oldest start to understand the wordplay and it was worth it; she giggled throughout. I laughed a lot, as did the rest of the family. This is just a fun movie.

Score: 1

Overall

A classic comedy that relies as much on word play as it does physical gags. It has aged impressively well and is tightly scripted.

I loved this movie when it came out and still do.

Final Score: 4.5 Stars out of 5

Guitar Lessons Part 48

Apr 8: Cacophony

I was on hold for work while I practised my guitar today.

So that was… Grating.

I played mountain king first. I got gold stars on the first part (again, but I haven’t been able to in a while). I also did better on the second two parts than I have in the past little while, so I feel very accomplished.

I tried the new chords on Get to Know You. I’m unsure about them still, partially because of the hold music. So I’ll try again tomorrow.

Then I played the wedding song. I definitely hold my shoulder stiffer on this song (not even mentioning the ballad) and I need to be more careful with that.

When I stopped playing, my shoulder hurt a lot, but it’s been almost two hours since then and it’s back to its low level of pain.

Apr 9: Feel the burn

I was perhaps a little ambitious.

I played sugar plum fairy and mountain king from the app. No high scores, but I’m very happy with how well I did.

I played Get to Know You a bunch of times, fiddling with the chords on the verse. I think I’m happy with what I’ve got. I’ll know better tomorrow.

I then tried to play the wedding song with a more relaxed arm. I mostly succeeded… It translated into playing it a little slower than I should’ve, so that’s frustrating.

And I played the ballad for the first time in a week or so. I did not succeed in keeping my arm relaxed. My muscles ache now. Hopefully it’ll feel better soon.

Apr 10: Accompaniment

I had enthusiastic accompaniment for my practising today.

Pegasus pulled out the xylophone and then Dragon requested permission to play the soprano ukulele. Both of them were very quiet while I tuned and did the app song challenge, which is better than I had expected while they had instruments in front of them.

Then they played and sang enthusiastically along with me throughout both Get to Know You and the wedding song.

I’m so glad they have a love of music.

I look forward to them being able to read it.

Apr 11: Ten minutes

I had a very short practice session today because we had a meeting with our publisher for Assassins! Accidental Matchmakers.

So I didn’t play from my app. I didn’t set up my music stand.

I played Get to Know You from memory, including the chord additions.

It sounds pretty good, if I do say so myself.

Apr 12: Satisfied

I played for about half an hour today. My shoulder doesn’t hurt worse than before I started, so I’m taking that as a win…

I played mountain king. Not very well, though. Lots of mistakes.

I tried playing standing up for my first song.

Let me preface by saying that I’m falling apart; my back hurt more and my shoulder also hurt. Sooooo I’m not going to do that again for a while.

I replayed Get to Know You while sitting down. It worked much better! I even worked out the bonus chords. I think there’s two versions of this song, tbh. The one that Tommy plays initially, when he’s had no time to go over the chords and figure them out, and the one that he embellishes on when he’s older. Beginner and intermediate. I’ll make both.

I also played the wedding song and the ballad. They both went well. I’m really happy with how they sound.

Apr 13: New music

I played a little more than I should have today.

I started off with mountain king. That was frustrating.

Then I played Get to Know You. I’m not happy with one of the chords. I’m not sure how to fix it right now. Hopefully something will occur to me tomorrow.

We ordered new music books the other day and they came in last night.

I’m not sure what they mean by “really easy” because there are numerous songs in this book that I cannot even hope to play. The chord choices suck in some cases. And it’s practically impossible to read.

I don’t recommend.

That being said, there were some songs that were super enjoyable to play. I especially liked “Can’t Stop This Feeling.”

Mid-Year Review of Éric’s 2022 New Year’s Resolutions

Hello my Imaginary Friends,

It’s been an exciting six months and by that, I mean blarg. I still find it disturbing how much of the world is convinced the pandemic is over. Hopefully soon, we’ll see a vaccine for infants approved in Canada. Then I will feel much better, but I still am going to continue to be careful. It will be a while before I give up my mask.

Anyway, let’s see how I’m doing with my resolutions!

Writing

1. Write a monthly serial story (Succeeding)

The hardest part about this year’s serial story is not writing ahead. Currently, as of this writing, dealing with carpal tunnel, that might not be a problem. Read from the beginning of the Aetherverse.

2. Write Guise and Dolls Faymous with Jen (Success)

This went famously (haha). I loved writing this story and I’m glad that it’s now vacated that part of my brain that it’s been occupying for the past decade. Unfortunately, a spin-off series has decided to move in.

3. Finish Copper Tarnish (Pending)

Pending health, I have no idea how this is going to go. Hopefully I’ll be able to finish it, but if not, I’m not going to risk injuring myself worse over it.

4. Write book 3 of The Gates of Westmeath with Jen (Pending)

Unlike Copper Tarnish, this book starts from scratch/random jot notes, and won’t need heavy line-editing before I start, so I should be able to do this one with dictation software. I hope.

5. Keep Working on FADDS (Succeeding)

I created an entire ridiculously complex module for mixing components that was just way too much. So, I remade it in a simpler way and it seems to be working really well. I’m continuing to tweak and add more monsters as I go. Mostly, I’m just having fun with the system and my players.

JenEric Designs and Coffee

6. Ensure 5+ days of updates (Succeeding)

You may be sensing a theme, but depending on health issues, we may be dropping to four days a week, but not yet, and I don’t know. So we’ll see.

7. Write a movie review each week (Succeeding)

So far, so good. I might need to create a template to copy-paste to make my life easier.

8. Design and release a new flavour and redesign Green Apple (Pending)

Ottawa ComicCon is happening in September. This one will depend on how my health is. It’s not the highest priority; that will be roasting and packing ComicCon levels of coffee.

Personal

9. Read 5 Books (Pending)

Other than books that I’ve written or that Jen wrote, I’m a little behind on this. As in, halfway through the first book. But for some reason, I forsee having more chances to read (if Jen will let me).

10. Be More Patient (shrug)

Honestly, I have no idea how I’m doing on this one. I do know that I’m a terrible injured/sick person. Feeling like I’m letting people down makes me grumpy.

11. Don’t over stress (Failing)

I have developed tools to help me de-stress. Playing ukulele, reading, writing, playing video games, and cooking. The only one of those that I can currently do without hurting myself is reading. Let’s hope this dictation software works and doesn’t add to the stress.

My work is also irrationally pushing a return to the office and that’s still causing lots of stress with an unvaccinated toddler. HURRY THE F UP, HEALTH CANADA!

12. Practice bass or ukulele 2-3 times a week (Failing)

I was doing well with this. I even memorized the Spider-man theme on the bass and wrote a song for the ukulele. Unfortunately, I won’t be able to do this for a while.


The good news, I haven’t utterly failed at anything yet and I have a few Successes.

I’m going to take that as a positive and just do what I can for the rest of the year.

How are your resolutions going?

Éric

Canada Day 2022

Today on the day of Canada’s confederation, let us remember that we are on stolen land. Ottawa sits on un-ceded Algonquin Anishinabe land. We are guests here and should act accordingly. Last year, we cancelled Canada Day due to 250+ children discovered in mass-graves on residential school grounds. That number is so much higher now.

This is not acceptable and we need to do better! Write your MP and MPPs and see what they’re doing about clean drinking water, quality of life, and colonial racist policies that unfairly target Indigenous people.

Stay safe and be kind,

Éric

Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness – JenEric Movie Review

How This Works – Read Other Reviews

Hello Cinephiles,

Today we’re talking about the 2022 film Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness.

Story

The story relies on the trope that women are irrational and incapable of seeing reason when it comes to their children. It heavily implies that women are weak-minded and easily corrupted.

Beyond that, it’s a paper-thin plot that barely holds together the action scenes.

Score: 0

Characters

With the emotional depth of an 8 year old, the main characters do everything that makes you want to scream at the screen… which I did several times.

I liked Wong, and when she was allowed to do anything, America was pretty cool.

The only reason this movie had any charisma is because of the calibre of the actors.

Score: 0

Dialogue

Trite, repetitive, and borderline nonsensical. The film’s dialogue lacks depth or purpose.

Score: 0

Visuals and Music

Wow, this movie was pretty. The fights scenes are expertly done, if a little gruesome, the scenery fantastic, and the effects brilliant.

The absolute best part of the movie is the music. Danny Elfman shows that he’s still one of the best composers in film.

Score: 1

Fun

I was ambivalent to Scarlet Witch until WandaVision and that show really did a great job at developing her character. Unfortunately, none of that depth or heart was in this movie. She was a cartoon Karen turned monster.

There were some amazing action scenes and some of the secondary characters were fun. I look forward to seeing America Chavez written by someone else.

Score: 0.5

Overall

The superhero genre has matured a lot in since the early aughts, I can’t say the same of Sam Raimi’s portrayal of them. The movie lacks any understanding of human emotions to the point of being condescending. The music and action scenes redeem it a little, but it’s one of the worst MCU films.

Final score: 1.5 Stars out of 5

Guitar Lessons Part 47

Apr 2: Nope

Too much pain in my shoulder today. I couldn’t lift my arm so I thought it was wise to not aggravate it further.

I did put a heat pack on it and that helped somewhat.

Apr 3: Short

I played for about fifteen minutes today.

My shoulder still hurts, but nothing like yesterday.

I played two songs from the learning app. I did okay on them.

Then I played my first two songs. I decided not to play the ballad because it’s got a LOT more strumming and I hold my shoulder with more tension than I really should.

Apr 4: Slow recovery

My shoulder is feeling better, but not even close to 100%.

So I played mountain king (with great success. Not a complete pass, but I’m very happy with my progress) and my first two songs.

Apr 5: Pretty

My shoulder still aches, so I did minimal practising today.

Mountain king did not go as well as yesterday. Very frustrating.

My songs sounded really pretty though.

I’m thinking of adding some chords to Get to Know You. Not the version that my character plays, obviously, since he’s making it up on the fly, but to the “professional” version. I find it very repetitive right now, with just C chords. So I’ll try mixing it up a bit and see what happens.

Oh, and irl news; last night I was poking about on the internet and I found the pre-order link for Assassins! Accidental Matchmakers on Indigo!! (For those of you not in Canada, that’s our national bookstore chain.)

I’m not sharing the link here yet because there’s no cover on it, and no ebook version available yet, but it’s there!! In print!

I knew it would be exciting, but I didn’t expect it to feel quite this overwhelming.

I also found out, after talking to the publisher, that the cover reveal will be happening at the end of April*. There’ll be a virtual party. You’re all invited. 🎉

In light of how excited I am about seeing the pre-order, I’ll do another AMA about my book. So AMA! I want to talk about it!!

*Pre-launch party will be happening in August, not April. Details to come.

Apr 6: Another break

I’m sorry my posts are so boring this week. I’m trying really hard not to overwork my shoulder and yet it’s still hurting. 🙁

Apr 7: Back at it

I played for about ten minutes today and my shoulder is aching a bit.

I played mountain king first. I almost failed because my son grabbed the fretboard and that messed me up for way longer than it should have. I’m more annoyed with myself than him.

He knows that if he wants to play with my guitar, he needs to ask first. Two year olds. 🙄

Then I played Get to Know You. I messed about with the second verse, trying to figure out some different chords to insert into it. I pencilled some in. I’ll see what it sounds like when I play it tomorrow.

Then I thought I’d be okay to play the wedding song.

I probably shouldn’t have pushed it.

This is so frustrating.

Birth of the Aetherverse – Chapter 6 (Serial Story)


Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12


Chapter 6: The Fall of Atlantis and a New Friend

If you’ve never seen the armies of Fay marching, you’re lucky. I was on their side and it was terrifying. We march in perfect unison with one bagpipe, drum, or trumpet per soldier. The sound is hauntingly beautiful, emphasis on hauntingly.

When the Fay marched on Atlantis, we were a united realm of several billion. Our army outnumbered the Atlanteans who were left a hundred to one. 

Even one platoon of Fay soldiers is as deadly as any human army before the twentieth century. The only advantage the Atlanteans had was the ability to wield worked metal and that didn’t help them. They’d grown dependent on their magic, which was impressive, but nothing compared to that of my brother and sister.

Those that were attacking us fled and I was able to catch my breath. It wasn’t long before I saw a group of soldiers marching toward us and realized we were still dressed in Atlantean garb. A wave of my hand and both Randi and I were in Fay clothing that befit a lord and lady of Fay.

The Fay soldiers hesitated and then turned towards a group of Atlantean mages attempting to activate the smaller gates. They succeeded and disappeared, but the soldiers followed them.

“You were talking about leaving?” I said. I was still holding the magical gem that had powered the large gate. I could feel its will. It wanted nothing more than to reconnect with its gate. The power it held was equivalent to me and my siblings. I wondered why it hadn’t become a person like we had. Since that time, I have learned that there were a total of four gems that weren’t transformed into people, each powerful enough to create a realm.

The one I held and the Gem of Chaos had created Earth and its universe. The Aetheria Crystal started creating Everworld, and the last was the Stone of Albion. 

“Yes. I think we should leave before this realm goes to sleep.” It’s not possible to completely destroy a realm as long as someone remembers them. The realm goes to sleep until it’s forgotten or reclaimed.

I took her hand and tried to send us to Earth. The gem had other plans. It diverted my spell into the Aether and next to the gate. I tried again and we were back on the plains of Atlantis.

“The gem isn’t going to let me move us. I’m not sure what to do,” I said and looked at Randi pleadingly. She didn’t get a chance to answer before a scream of agony overpowered the fighting and war instruments.

Melchior was standing on a pile of Atlanteans and held another’s head in his hands. I watched as the magic flowed out of the screamer and Melchior tossed them into the pile. He was draining their magic and souls.

A shiver of fear ran through me. There was something wrong with that man and it terrified me.

“The gates,” Randi suggested. “Toss one to earth and then use another to create a bridge.”

It was a great idea and I went one step further, tossing all the smaller gates to Earth, spreading them across that world. I left one gate in Atlantis as I saw a great wave of water heading toward us. The Atlanteans had decided to drown their world rather than let the Fay destroy it.

I activated the last gate and we jumped through. The contrast was jarring. We’d left a war-torn realm filled with sound and pain, and we’d arrived on an island where the loudest thing was birdsong and the ocean gently lapping at the shore.

“Are you gods?” asked a large, muscled man who was shirtless and adorned with impressive tattoos. 

“We are lords of Fay. My name is Robin, this is Randi.”

The man bowed and replied, “I am Noa, Chief of this island.”

Telepathically, Randi said, We need to destroy that gem.

We can’t, I replied. It’s too powerful. We need to break it into pieces and scatter those across the realms.

I took the crystal and started ripping pieces apart. It took less energy the smaller the crystal became. “I’ve sent all the pieces to different parts of the Earth and Albion. Everworld is already too unstable.”

“Why don’t you throw a piece into the stars?” Noa suggested. 

In Fay, the land is the universe; there’s a sun, but no solar system in the same sense as Earth. I’d forgotten that there was a vast universe. I threw a large piece of the gem as far as I possibly could. There was no way humans would get to it.

The last sliver I handed to Noa. “Keep this safe,” I told him. Sometimes you just need to follow your instincts about a person, and something was telling me that Noa was a good man.

“I will do my best, but I’m only a humble chief.” There was a sparkle in his eyes as he spoke.

A doorway opened and two Atlantean wizards stepped through. They looked angry. When they saw me, they screamed, “You stole our gates and gem!”

“Is this true?” Noa asked.

“Well, there was a war and the gem was too powerful to keep in one place. So yes, but they were about to be wiped out of existence anyway.”

“If we’d unleashed the Lost Realms and the Mulciber, your Fay armies would have been destroyed,” the wizard replied.

“I might not know of all these otherworldly things, but I’ve never heard of unleashing anything turning out well. Things are on leashes for a reason.” Noa shrugged.

“We weren’t talking to you, human! This is between Atlanteans and Fay. You should stay out of it or you’ll regret it.” The wizard smirked and turned back to me.

I was going to say something very witty, once I thought of it, but Noa interjected softly, “There’s just one problem with that.”

“What?” demanded the other wizard.

“You’re on my people’s island.”

The wizard’s laughter was cut off when the ocean itself rose up like a big hand and swatted them off the island.

Noa chuckled and asked, “So how does this thing work?” pointing at the gate. I explained to him that his crystal couldn’t open it to any other gate unless it was close, but that I could if he wanted. “Wonderful. Please open it to the coldest place it’ll go.”

I did so and Noa stepped into the shade of a palm tree, disappearing.

He reappeared under the same tree, holding the two wizards as if he’d travelled by shadow and water. “These two need to cool off.” They looked tiny next to him, being neither muscled or anywhere near his height. He tossed them through the gate and I closed it.

“That was fun,” he said with a big grin. “Now you two have done what you’ve set out to do. You seem like you attract or create trouble. Please leave.”

I shook my head in disbelief and replied, “Absolutely. Your assistance was appreciated.”

That was the first time I met an Aetherborn, a person created by the chaos of magic and human imagination. 

“I like him,” said Randi.

“Me too,” I replied.

Read Chapter 7


While you wait for the next chapter, check out the previous serial stories: