Éric

Éric has had an eclectic career which ranges from casino dealer to canal boat captain to radio station DJ. Since 2009, he’s worked as a desktop publisher for the federal government. During his off time, he works as a freelance typesetter for various Canadian-based authors and publishers, roasts gourmet flavoured coffee, runs several pen-and-paper role-playing games, writes, and helps run JenEric-Designs.ca (Home of the TravellingTARDIS.com).

He lives in Ottawa, Ontario with his author wife, daughter, and son.

Welcome to the Land of Everdome

by

Hello,

Some days I sit down to write a short story and then I blink and I have an intro chapter for a novel. That’s what happened on Monday. I looked and I had 300 words around 2pm and then suddenly I noticed it was 4pm and I had 2000. I love those kinds of days.

The idea came to me while watching The Quest. What if the contestants in a fantasy reality show discover they’ve actually been transported to another world? I’m fascinated by the little scenes that would lead to them realizing what’s going on. The end of the second act would either have a death or a serious injury to make them understand they’re playing for real.

Description

The world’s most popular video game, based off a fantasy book series, is being turned into a reality television show. Only twelve people are chosen but there’s something strange about the contestants. They aren’t the biggest, strongest, or prettiest. They are however all in love with the world.

As they go through the standard, often cheesy, reality television challenges they start to wonder if it is just a television show. How does the Queen get her elf ears on so seamlessly, how do the special effects for the Court Wizard work, why are the camera’s so well hidden, and most of all why do the banished players scream as they leave?

Point of View Characters

  • Abigail: Emotionally abused by ex-fiancée and still not over him. She’ll have to overcome her dependence on other people and her lack of faith in herself.
  • Pierre: A short thin man who boasts having the highest score in The Land of Everdome game. He’s completely out of his depth without technology and everyone wonders why he applied for the show.
  • Annie: Abigail’s younger sister who is the favourite to win with her years of experience working in a Renaissance fairs and theatre as a weapons instructor.
  • Nicole: At the age of 20 she is the youngest and has the longest police record. She never applied for the show but getting out of the country was probably a good idea after her last con went south. A consummate pretender, she isn’t in the game to win, she’s in to avoid the mob hitmen that will surely be looking for her.

Finally here’s the story I’ve written so far. Let me know what you think in the comments.

Story

Warning: Contains scenes of emotional and verbal abuse.

“Why the Hell is there a man in armour asking for you in the lobby?” yelled Patrick a little too loudly. He had already dressed and shaved.

The only reason Abigail could tell was from the colour differences and shiny reflection from his moist aftershave. Reaching over to the bedside table she put on her glasses and took a good look at her fiancé. He was dressed in a designer suit and looked like something from a magazine. Her own prince charming.

“Well?” he asked again. Even pouting he looked sexy.

Brushing back her mousy brown hair, she sat up and wondered why there would be a man in armour outside. It wasn’t a common occurrence in their downtown condo.

“I’ll go check,” she mumbled. She was not a morning person. She’d worked the late shift last night and Patrick had insisted they go out with some of his friends. She would have preferred to stay home and read but he’d insisted. She could never say no to him.

Getting out of bed she stumbled towards her hamper and reached into it to grab a half clean pair of jeans. They were the comfortable kind, not the pair that Patrick insisted she wear out but the kind that didn’t take ten minutes and a shoe horn to get into.

She was about to just put on a wonder woman tank top but she saw Patrick’s look and put on a proper bra before putting on the top.

As she rode the elevator down she looked into the mirrored wall and wondered what he saw in her. She was too short, too round, and her hair was as controllable as a rabid rous. Her skin was ambiguously brown and splotchy, her father had been native but she had no idea what her mother had been. She tried to put some sort of order in her paradoxically limp and curly hair and gave up when the elevator doors opened.

The knight wasn’t just in armour, he was in authentic chainmail and he wasn’t alone. There were two camera men and a photographer.

“What’s going on?” she asked.

“Dame Abigail Montrose?” The knight asked in an authentic British accent.

“Yes,” she replied.

Without any delay the man fell to one knee and said, “My lady. It is my great honour to extend an invitation from Queen Tamora the sixth, to visit her in her kingdom Everdome.”

The expression on Abigail’s face transitioned from confusion to disbelief to shock and finally settled on excitement. All traces of sleepiness disappeared as she remembered what was going on.

“Oh my goddess, yes, yes, yes. Thank you.” She threw herself at the knight as he stood and hugged him tightly. “Thank you, thank you, Thank you” She squeed before letting him go.

“My Lady. Here is your invitation and all the information you need,” He was blushing and never once broke character. He gave her a large envelope with her name on it. It was pretty thick and she assumed it was the legal contracts and disclaimers she’d have to sign to be on the show.

The Land of Everdome, was the world’s most popular online videogame and was based off of a series of novels. Abigail had never played the game but she read the ten book series every year around her birthday. They were the last present her father had given her before he died.

At one point she’d considered playing the game but Patrick had flipped out, telling her that he was willing to put up with her childish obsessions but not to push him. That had ended that. He was probably right.

When they had announced a television series, Abigail had expected something along the lines of Game of Thrones. Instead they’d announced that it would be a reality show set in the world, using the characters in an original story where twelve people would vie for the honour of becoming the Champion of Everdome and fight against the evil Host, an all-powerful dark lord.

In one of the rare times that she’d been allowed to see her sister, Patrick had been away on business, they’d both applied for the show. Neither of them expected to be picked, they were fantasy nerds but neither of them played the game these shows only ever picked the most attractive contestants.

Inside the apartment, she walked to the bed and pulled out a piece of parchment from the envelope. It was aged and made to feel like leather. On it was an official invitation to Everdome and the Queen’s seal and signature. It was exact in every detail.

A chime made her look for her phone. Patrick was standing over her looking at her phone. “Your sister has sent you three texts. What does she mean by I’m in?” He’d never liked her sister. They were both strong willed and thought they knew what was best for her. She hated that they didn’t get along but Patrick knew best.

“Uhmm. Remember those books I love so much?” She suddenly felt really uncomfortable.

“Ever… whatever? What about them?”

“We’ll Annie and I applied to be on the TV show set in the world. Remember we talked about it?” She had told him about the show but he hadn’t been all that interested.

“Yeah I remember. I remember saying it was a waste of time, just like the game, and the books,” his voice was harsh. He softened as he said, “Abbi, you know I only want what’s best for you. These childish hobbies are distracting you from your studies. Don’t you want to be a nurse and do something good for the world? Something useful not wasteful?”

“Yes of course I do,” she replied her eyes on the ground.

Lifting her head gently she saw him smiling benevolently, he was so beautiful it hurt her to upset him. “Good then. Throw that stuff out and put these childish things away.” He left the room and came back with a large box. “I think it’s time for you to put these things in storage until we have children. You’re twenty-six, you’re not a child anymore.” He started taking down her books and putting them in the box. Her heart sank as he picked up her father’s books and placed them in the box. He was probably right. It was time she started living her life instead of wasting it.

“These are pretty old and you’ve read them a lot. Instead of putting them in storage, we’ll donate them. We don’t really want our children to have silly ideas. These are the kinds of books loser guys read in their parent’s basement.”

Conflicting emotions turned her stomach as she sat on her bed watching him prepare her books to be given away. Anger won out and she yelled, “No!”

“Glad you agree with me babe,” he said dismissively.

“No. I am not giving those away.”

“Don’t be childish. Of course you are.”

Blood pounded in her head and she couldn’t stop herself from shaking, “No. I’m not. And I’m going to this.” She lifted up the envelope. He turned red and dropped the box and the books.

“You will not talk to me like that. You were nothing before me. I know what’s best. Now throw out that letter.” He took a deep breath. “Look what you’ve done. You’ve made me angry. Do you think I like being the bag guy? No. But you have to grow up and put these things behind you. You’re not twelve anymore.”

A wave of guilt flowed through Abigail. He was right. None of their friends were into this, she was being childish. She picked up the envelope and a section caught her eye. “You were chosen from over 200,000 applicants across North-America.” Could they all be childish?

“No Patrick. Those books were given to me by my father. I’m keeping them and I really want to do this. I know you think it’s childish. And it might be. But I need to do this.” She stopped herself before adding please.

Turning to face her again, he seemed to calm down. He smiled at her but she knew that smile, she only saw it when he was so angry he became calm. It didn’t touch his eyes and made him look like a Bond villain. “Fine. If you want to do this, go ahead. But if you leave, don’t come back.” Without giving her the chance to answer, he grabbed his briefcase and left the apartment.

The sound of the door closing was like an explosion. The apartment they’d shared for two years suddenly seemed hostile and too quiet.

Again her phone beeped. Her sister wanted to know if she was ok.

“I’m fine. I got the invitation too. Wasn’t the knight cool?” she texted.

“Yeah. I can’t wait for us to go.” Her sister added a smiley face after the message.

“I can’t go,” she wrote back.

“Duck Patrick. You can do better,” The autocorrect on her sister’s phone had certainly edited that line. “This is Everdome. We’ve been dreaming about this since we were kids. Would you give up your childhood dream for a guy?”

“I’m sorry Annie. I can’t.”

“Ok. I’m not going without you big sis. If you won’t go. Neither will I.”

“No, no. One of us should go.”

“Talk about it over lunch?”

She agreed to meet her for lunch and they told each other they loved each other. As she put down her phone she felt her face was wet. She was crying, just like a child, she thought.

Without thinking she finished packing her books. Looking around she was hit by how little she felt attached to the things in the apartment. Other than the bookcase with her books and photos, everything was stark black and white modern. Patrick’s taste, not hers.

The apartment and Patrick had always made her feel safe, protected, and taken care of. She went to her closet and looked inside. There were a few superhero shirts that she was allowed to wear in the apartment but that was all. The rest of her clothes were all scrubs, formal wear, or her work uniforms, dress pants or skirt with a maroon polo shirt with “Paragraphs fine Books” embroidered on it. The formal wear that she wore to events or even to the grocery store, were always picked by Patrick. She had liked that, she hatted shopping for clothes.

Taking the geek shirts and putting them in a flowered suitcase with thoughts of putting them in storage with the books, she surprised herself by putting her uniforms and scrubs in the suitcase also. She was done her nursing classes, two months and she’d be a registered nurse. Then she could work a few years before they got pregnant and then she’d take care of their kids.

Throughout the process of packing she’d been shuffling the envelope from hand to hand. Looking down at her packed suitcase, she’d taken half the clothes, all her books, and her family pictures. She packed the suitcase and her conscious mind caught up with what was going on.

It seemed unthinkable to leave Patrick but once she made the decision she felt a weight off her shoulders. She couldn’t help but think about how angry he’d be but she had made up her mind.

Picking up her phone, packing its charger and her laptop, she texted her sister again. “I’m going. But can I stay with you until we leave?”

The Quest and The ALS Ice Bucket Challenge

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Hello my Imaginary Friends,

Some days require more coffee than others. Feel free to quote me on that.

The Quest

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A few weeks ago my brother recommended that I check out The Quest. I wasn’t all that interested at first but then I watched an episode.

Let’s just say that so far I’m loving it!

For those that don’t know, it’s a reality show with a scripted storyline, set in a fantasy world. The major reason I didn’t want to see it was my lack of faith in reality TV. I expected it to be filled with bad versions of fantasy with hammy actors and cut throat pretty people as contestants.

I was wrong. It seems everyone involved loves Fantasy and they’ve gone to great depths to make it awesome. The actors are great, the contestants are fantasy geeks.

It does like to spend time on drama and some of the challenges feel a little low budget but it’s a lot of fun.

I particularly like the Hag who lives in the woods. She really got into it.

Watch it on ABC in the US or CityTv in Canada.

Novel?

I have a bad habit of being inspired by things that I like. The Quest isn’t an exception.

While I watched, I wondered what if the cameras were hidden and the contestants started to wonder if it was real or not. Imagine the emotional effect of the end of second act realization that all the “Banished” characters were killed.

Think what it would mean for the characters who don’t understand it isn’t a game.

I really like this idea for a novel and I’ve even written a proof of concept for one of the characters. I was expecting it to be 500 words but it quickly ballooned to 2000.

I’ll post it on Thursday.

ALS Ice Bucket Challenge

I was challenged and then challenged my wife.

For those of you who live under a rock, the challenge is to bring awareness about ALS (Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis, also known as Lou Gehrig’s Disease or Charcot Disease).

It’s a terrifying degenerative disease that affects muscles. From what I understand your muscles slowly atrophy. It’s paralysing, painful, and those affected have a short life expectancy.

The challenge says that if you can, you should donate $10 to the cause if you’ve dumped a bucket of ice water on your head and $100 if you didn’t.

My video and my wife’s video.

Charity Drain

Last estimates see the challenge having raised over 80 million dollars.

Some people are saying that the success of the campaign has been stopping people from donating to other causes. I don’t want to be the reason that other causes suffer, so I’m encouraging those that can afford to donate to multiple charities at the same time.

I donated to the Canadian Diabetes Association in memory of my Mother who died of complications related to diabetes in 2008. I also donated to the Canadian Cancer Society in memory of my Father who died of brain cancer in 2010.

I encourage those that can afford to donate to:

Even a little bit helps.

 

Would you join The Quest?

Have you or someone you love been affected by ALS?

 

Thank you,

Eric

Pluto isn’t a Planet and that’s ok.

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One would assume that a generation that grew up in the age of the internet would be flexible and able to adapt to the changes in our world. One would be terribly wrong. From a new Companion on Doctor Who to getting rid of the penny, our generation seems hobbled by nostalgia. The same nostalgia that makes sure Michael Bay has a career.

Go find yourself someone between the ages of 20 and 35 and ask them their opinion on Pluto. You’ll get an earful of sadness for its “Demotion” from a planet.

So What Happened?

Pluto was discovered back in 1930. At the time it was the only other planetary body, after the first 8, we could find. Telescopes improved and we eventually found new objects that looked and acted like Pluto. We even found that some of the objects we thought were asteroids in the asteroid belt looked and acted like Pluto.

In 2006 the International Astronomical Union (IAU) needed to figure out what constituted a planet. They had 3 possible “new planets” (Eris, Charon, and Ceres) and weren’t sure what to do.

They drafted a proposal for what a planet was and it would have seen our solar system have 12-24 planets, in the short term.

Here’s what they defined as a planet in the first draft: “A planet is a celestial body that (a) has sufficient mass for its self-gravity to overcome rigid body forces so that it assumes a hydrostatic equilibrium (nearly round) shape, and (b) is in orbit around a star, and is neither a star nor a satellite of a planet.”

Astronomers estimated that as we observed more of our solar system we’d find that there are over 200 astronomical bodies that fit this description.

The definition went through several drafts and they finally decided on the following as a definition:

The IAU…resolves that planets and other bodies, except satellites, in the Solar System be defined into three distinct categories in the following way:

(1) A planet [1] is a celestial body that (a) is in orbit around the Sun, (b) has sufficient mass for its self-gravity to overcome rigid body forces so that it assumes a hydrostatic equilibrium (nearly round) shape, and (c) has cleared the neighbourhood around its orbit.

(2) A “dwarf planet” is a celestial body that (a) is in orbit around the Sun, (b) has sufficient mass for its self-gravity to overcome rigid body forces so that it assumes a hydrostatic equilibrium (nearly round) shape [2], (c) has not cleared the neighbourhood around its orbit, and (d) is not a satellite.

(3) All other objects [3], except satellites, orbiting the Sun shall be referred to collectively as “Small Solar System Bodies”.[note 1]

Footnotes:

[1] The eight planets are: Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, and Neptune.

[2] An IAU process will be established to assign borderline objects into either dwarf planet and other categories.

[3] These currently include most of the Solar System asteroids, most Trans-Neptunian Objects (TNOs), comets, and other small bodies.

The definition is pretty vague and is hotly contested among astronomers. For the moment it’s what we have.

Pluto 🙁

This new definition meant that Pluto was no longer a Planet but now a Dwarf planet.

This has prompted endless sad Pluto images and t-shirts. poor-pluto

Pluto now has friends

I’m tempted to say, “Things change get over it!” But that would be me being mean.

Instead let’s reflect on how Pluto used to be the odd one out. Not really an earthy planet not a gas planet. It was like that one Star Trek nerd in a group of Star Wars nerd (trust me this was a big thing 10-20 years ago). But now it’s part of the Dwarf planets and has friends that are the same. Instead of thinking of Pluto being separated from his previous friends, think of it as being allowed to hang out with new friends.

Post by Harry Dresden.

The confirmed Dwarf Planets Friends of Pluto are: Ceres, Haumea, Makemake, and Eris.

Pluto is such a good host that there are another 6 Trans-Neptunian Objects, trying to join its club.

There’s even a sub-category of Trans-Neptunian Objects called Plutinos which are in orbital resonances with Neptune, as seen from the current satellite images. I call these its family.

In Conclusion

Don’t think of Pluto becoming a Dwarf Planet as it being excluded from the Planet Club but think of it as becoming the president of the Dwarf Planet Club.

Did you take the reclassification of Pluto personally?

P.S. Kind advise for you: visit Family Funtures for buying nice home telescope, if you like space as I do!:)

Éric

Technogedon?

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Hello,

I watched a video that, I think, was meant to scare me but instead it confused me. Not its message but its lack of solutions. Here’s the video.

But Eric I don’t want to watch the 15 minute video

Fair enough. Here’s a quick explanation on what you’ll see. The human world is on the precipice of a revolution the likes we’ve never seen. Robots and robotics are at a level that they’re either affordable enough or close to affordable enough, to replace 25% of the workforce.

They talk about four tiers of work and how they can be replaced with robots or machinery of somesort. The biggest being transportation. Self-driving cars are already better at driving then all but the best human drivers. Then there’s retail which has had things like automatic checkouts and online shopping for years.

They go on to talk about computer programs, which they call bots in order to be thematic, which can effectively fill in reports and replace most paper pushers.

They then talk about Watson, a self-teaching computer, that is attempting to create the best possible doctor replacement program.

The last is a vague attempt to tell us that creativity isn’t solely a human trait and we are working on robots that can do the same things we can.

The moral seems to be that change is inevitable and that we are completely unprepared for the robots taking our jobs.

It’s important to know that all this technology exists and it’s not science fiction, or speculation.

Technophobia?

The first reaction I had to this was, “OH DEITY! OH DEITY! We’re all going to die.” Totally reasonable right? Well not really. All this technology exists and is getting cheaper and easier to use and may replace all the jobs mentioned. That’s what it is, by the way: Technology, not bots nor robots etc. Your vending machine is a machine, not a robot.

The Oxford English Dictionary says a robot is “A central European system of serfdom, by which a tenant’s rent was paid in forced labour or service”… Oops wrong one. It says a robot is: “An intelligent artificial being typically made of metal and resembling in some way a human or other animal”.

So no, robots are not rising or trying to destroy us. Yet!?

But my Job

The technology may exist but there are two things you need to remember about them “taking” your jobs.

The first is simply fear. People are slow to adopt new technology. It takes time. Think about electric cars, they are completely usable and not to much more expensive but it’s taking a long time for people to adopt them. Same will happen with self-driving cars, unfortunately. As a person without a license, I’d love a self-driving car. As for the rest of the technology, it will take longer to get rid of retail employees only because most people prefer to buy from a person. Especially large or vanity items.

The second is stupidity. Machines are only as smart as their programing. There are some self-programing machines out there but they’re expensive and difficult to make. Anyone who’s tried to use speech-to-text software, or tried to use website autobuilding software knows that it’s not as simple as it seems.

Between fear and stupidity, it’ll be a while before we see robots replacing most jobs.

However, if you’re a Pay Phone repair man, you might look into another vocation.

What about when it does happen

Some jobs will disappear. That’s natural, I haven’t seen a town crier in a while.

The video is right, we’re not ready and I don’t think we should be. Technology changes quickly, and occasionally we adopt technology faster than normal, like cell phones. Trying to guess what the next big boom will be and where it’ll come from is fun but not worth serious effort.

It will happen, jobs will be automated, and people will lose their jobs. I think the first and hardest hit will be transportation probably in the next 25 years. But that industry is also going to need to change anyways due to Climate Change and evolving technology.

If it happens as quickly as the video (fear mongers) suggests, it would have devastating consequences on the world economy. If a quarter of the developed world’s population lost their jobs, the economy would screech to a standstill and that technology would become too expensive to upkeep and after a hard couple of horrible decades we’d find a balance. (yay uplifting!)

Ok, but what can I do?

Enjoy your job while you have it. Unless you want to become one of those survivalist nuts that have a bomb shelter in the woods with years of supplies etc, there’s no way for you to tell what will go first.

I’d assume the safest jobs would be in hard sciences, engineering, or leisure. They’ll be the last ones fully replaced. If you’re super terrified become a Physicist, Engineer, or Party Planner. Could be an interesting unified field theory.

Bottom Line

Hehehehe, Bottom!

Seriously, though. If you can think of a good way to help 45% of the population losing their jobs, tell someone. No, tell everyone!

Do you have a plan for when technology makes your job obsolete?

Eric

Related: Speedy Locksmith in Boulder CO.

Parasnomnia Draft 1 is done. Time to Party?

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Hello,

So as the title says I’m finally done draft 1 of Parasomnia. This is the biggest novel I’ve written so far at just under 100,000 words (I hear my Fantasy writer friends laughing.)

It’s such a relief to be done. The last third of any novel is always massively stressful. Even though I know I can do it, there’s a tiny voice in the back of my head that says it’s ok to quit, nobody care about the book, I’m not a good enough writer yet for this idea. I’ve managed to ignore that voice 5 times now and when I write those last few words I’m always awash with relief.

Of course it’s not really done. In late October or November, I’ll pick it up and do a thorough rewrite and edit. The first chapter sucks. I thought I was writing a police procedural at the time and it doesn’t fit with the rest of the story. Also I think I’ve changed characters names throughout the book. I also need to add some foreshadowing.

Once the second draft is done, I’ll send it to the weditor and then do another cleanup. Once that’s done I’ll send it to Beta Reader 1, whoever that will be, and then Beta reader 2 (which I need to find).

The thing about writing, you’re never done. I might have finished this book but I have a list somewhere of several dozen book ideas, not to mention I’ve plotted out the next 6 Elizabeth Investigates books.

I like to write at work, when I have down time. Currently out of four people in my section, two are retiring and one is going back to school. As of October I’ll be doing the work of 4 people. Yikes. For that reason, I’m not jumping into another novel.

I do have a few stories planed and I’m getting close to play testing FADDS.

All in all things are looking good.

Is there anything you’ve read on my blog that you’d like to see expanded or turned into a novel?

Éric

Recomendation Tuesday – My Drunk Kitchen

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Hello my Imaginary Friends,

I needed a little cheering up today after hearing the news about Robin Williams.

If there’s one Youtube star that will always make me smile, it’s Hannah Hart of My Drunk Kitchen. She has a reckless love of cooking drunk. No matter what she makes the episodes are filled with food puns and fun.

She’s also written a book called My Drunk Kitchen, which I can’t wait to get.
MyDrunkKitchenREV
Check out Hannah with Jaime Oliver in the latest My Drunk Kitchen.

*Warning there is drinking and swearing during the show*

Do you like to cook? What’s your favourite Recipe?

Enjoy and I hope this brings a smile to your faces,

Éric

Recommendation Thursday – Non-Player Character Webcomic

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Hi,

Every once in a while I’ll find a webcomic that devastates my productivity. It’s been a few months since this happened. The other day I was reading Weregeek and the guest artist had their own comic called NPC. The first joke I read was a D&D joke and I was hooked from then on.

It’s a gag a day comic with mini-storylines and it’s extremely entertaining.

Go check it out.

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Eric

Dungeon! The board game and 5th Edition

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Hello,

dungeonToday’s post will be about Role Playing Games.

I have a long standing love affair with games and with role playing. When I was young I was the navigator for my Mom and Brother while they played console games. Back then in game maps were rough and hard to follow, if they existed at all, and each game came with a poster map of the world. It was my job to tell them which way to go. I was horrible at it but I loved helping.

When I wasn’t playing with them I’d play make believe with friends, usually pretending to be a Black Mage in Final Fantasy.

I remember my first introduction to Dungeons & Dragons. It was a board game released by TSR called Dungeon! I think it might have been the 1992 edition called Classic Dungeon!

The game is a quick dungeon delve for 1-8 players. The edition I played had miniatures and armour stands and everything. I remember thinking is was the best game ever. I have no idea where my brother got it or what happened to it but it was a lot of fun.

So when a friend of my asked if I wanted to play Dungeons & Dragons in high school, I thought he meant the board game. I was really excited. He meant the real thing and my disappointment didn’t last long. Back then we had graph paper and we each played 2 characters. You never forget your first characters, Corwin the Cleric of Sun and Thor the Barbarian.

Yesterday I got an email from Chapters-Indigo, telling me that all Dungeons & Dragons books were on sale for 50% off. I couldn’t help myself and reordered the 5th edition Players Handbook. I look forward to reading the new rules and seeing if I like the new edition.

In the “Others have liked” section there was the newest edition of Dungeon! for a staggeringly small price. It was also half off. It looks like the plastic miniatures have been replaced with carboard stadees but I really can’t wait to play.

In short, I bought some games and I’m excited. I never promised every post would be educational or exciting.

What’s your favourite board game?

See you Thursday!
Eric

The Cosmic Cuckoos – Short Story

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While some children dreamt of candy, school, or some other mundane thing; Helen dreamt of the stars. Not literally the large balls of gas but of everything that was and could be between them. She’d curl up, with a blanket, on her parents’ balcony and stare up wondering what was waiting for her up there.

As a lanky, tomboy her high school years were spent ignoring the cruel words of her classmates. She didn’t like school despite the fact that the teachers said she was brilliant. She didn’t try hard and passed most of her classes with a B average. She didn’t care. She knew the stars were coming for her.

There was one classmate that didn’t tease her. Abby was Helen’s best friend despite the fact that they had nothing in common, other than space. While Helen read books about space written by Asimov, Bradbury, and Clark, Abby read about space from authors like deGrasse-Tyson, and Hawkings. They agreed that there must be life on other planet and spent nights with a telescope discussing what they’d do if the aliens visited earth.

It was on one such night at the end of august, when the nights were hinting that they would get cooler soon, that they saw what they thought was a shooting star. The night was calm and there wasn’t a cloud in the sky. They had the most beautiful view of the universe. It was one of the few perks of living in a small town.

Jumping up to the telescope, Helen looked through the eyepiece and aimed it towards the falling star. “That meteor is really close.” Helen was excited as she listed off the measurements on the telescope and even more so as they calculated where it could have landed.

“That’s no more than a few hours away,” Abby said with awe. They had calculated that it must have fallen in a certain radius that started a couple hours of driving on back roads.

“Let’s go!” Helen yelled and ran through her parent’s room and down the stairs before Abby had a chance to argue.

“Be careful,” Helen’s mother said as they left the house. Abby’s mother would have freaked out and forbid them to leave at this time of night but Helen’s mother had spent all of Helen’s life confused and trying to bond with her only daughter. She didn’t understand her daughter but she tried her best to be encouraging. That meant if Helen wanted to run out of the house at eleven at night, she’d make sure the girl had a cellphone and knew she could always call for help.

The mother and daughter looked nothing alike. Helen was tall and stick-thin, with dark honey coloured hair and a brownish skin with high cheekbones that hinted that she may have native blood. Her mother was a short and rotund white woman with bright red hair. It hadn’t been a surprise to Helen when her parents had first told her she was adopted. She’d never been curious about her biological parents. They weren’t important to her. Only the stars were.

Helen had had her licence since her seventeenth birthday, a week and a half ago. This was the first time she’d been happy that her parents had forced her to get it as soon as possible.

As Helen drove, Abby used her tablet to pinpoint where the meteor had come down. If they had lived in the city it would have been easier to find. Everyone would have been talking about it on twitter but here in the middle of nowhere, everyone was either asleep, watching tv, or drinking at Pepper’s, the popular girls party. It meant they had no help in finding it but they didn’t have any competition to get there first either.

There was a little chatter on some astronomer sites and a few groups online but no one seemed really that interested. With the estimated size of the object being no bigger than a large RV and it’s entry into the atmosphere the meteorite that they would find couldn’t be bigger than a tennis ball. It didn’t matter to either of them. It would make a great souvenir.

They had a lot of trouble finding the impact site. It wasn’t like in the movies were half the forest would be squished and fire was everywhere, practically pointing to the impact site. It took them almost two hours of searching before they found what must have been the impact site.

It was tiny, the crater was no bigger than a dinner plate. “There must have been a lot of water or it broke apart,” Hele was disappointed. Despite the small size of the crater she kept the car lights on the place and got out of the car in hopes of getting some part of the rock that fell from the stars.

With her eyes on the ground she didn’t notice anything odd about the area until she heard a hollow banging noise. Looking over to the side she saw a woman with a pipe or tube that was as long as her arm. She wielded it like a sword. Lying at her feet was Abby.

“I’m sorry we didn’t mean to trespass, did you kill her?” Helen was caught between the urge to run away and the urge to defend her friend.

“No of course not, I’m not a savage,” the woman said and stepped toward Helen. The woman’s amber coloured eyes glowed in the dark. Other than her eyes she could be Helen’s older sister or Helen in a few years.

“Who are you?” Helen asked all worries replaced with wonder.

“I’m your mother and I’m here to bring you to the stars where we’ll rule as queen and princess of the galaxy,” The woman stood up straight trying to look regal.

“Really?” Helen’s heart beat quickly, her dreams and fantasies were coming true.

“Of course not, why are we always so gullible?”

“You’re one of over three million in your clone batch. Our people are horrible parents so we leave our young with parents in backwoods worlds. You’re of age and it’s time to bring you home.”

“What’s going to happen to me?”

Looking annoyed the woman sighed and said, “You’ll be re-conditioned, implanted with the knowledge you need and then placed where the Superiors deem you’ll be most useful in the war against the enemy.”

“No, I’m not going,” Helen didn’t want to have her mind wiped. Or fight in any war.

“Oh for Grell’s sake. You’re not my last stop on this planet. I don’t want to deal with this,” the woman pointed her pipe weapon at Helen and with a soft sighing sound Helen fell to the ground.

The last time Abby saw Helen, she was being dragged into an invisible ship but no matter how many times she told people, no one believed her.

Selfies and Recommendation Wednesday – Laci Green

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Hello,

Today I wanted to kill two birds with one stone. Recommend an awesome person and talk about Selfies.

Selfies

A shaggy and tired Aspiring Something
A shaggy tired Aspiring Something!

There’s a lot of controversy about selfies. Some people think it’s vain and don’t understand why they exist. Others think it’s a natural expression of life.

This taps into a greater societal conditioning that has told us two contradicting things:

  1. You’re not handsome/pretty or special. Get over yourself or people will think you’re self-involved.
  2. If you want to be happy you must buy this product that will make you handsome/pretty so that people will like you

So when we see someone constantly posting their face all over their social media we react by rolling our eyes. What we should be doing is encouraging people to find what they like about themselves. Selfies can be a road to self-esteem.

I for one am all for people having more self-esteem.

Laci Green has a video that explains this way better:

Laci Green

Laci Green is an educator, councillor, youtube host, and an advocate of sex education.

She hosts the wonderful Sex+, a host of DNews, and produced A Naked Notion with Planned Parenthood.

One of the great things about Laci is her ability to express complex and often awkward concepts around sex, in a clear and entertaining fashion.

I honestly wish that she’d been around when I was first learning about sexuality.

 

What’s your stance on Selfies?

Eric