The Christmas House – JenEric Movie Review

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Hello Cinephiles,

Today we’re talking about the 2020 film The Christmas House.

Story

I’ve watched a lot of Christmas movies and they’re all a little shallow, but this one felt very surface level. There are 3 major storylines and none of them get the time or treatment they need. The mother’s depression, the older brother’s love story, and the younger brother’s adoption issues are all glossed over with Holiday Magic. However, I do have to give them credit for bringing up emotions and issues that are relatable.

Score: 0.5

Characters

There’s a nice mix of characters with a gay couple and a hispanic love interest. It could have used some more realistic diversity, but it certainly tried. I like that the gay couple weren’t portrayed as perfect or as stereotypes, but as any busy young couple. They were set as the stable couple. Unfortunately, their storyline was short and they were the most interesting characters.

The mom’s depression after retirement was understandable and a little too easily overcome. The main love story was sappy and cute. I don’t feel like any of the characters got enough screen time to talk through their issues, making the whole thing feel like Christmas magic fixed it. I don’t like that.

Score: 0.5

Dialogue

The main character being a TV lawyer led to a lot of really funny lines. There were some great magic puns and the younger brother was nice and wise. The quips between siblings was well done and believable.

Score: 0.5

Visuals and Music

I’ll cut them some slack since Hallmark movies are filmed at breakneck speeds, but there were a lot of editing hiccups and some weird camera angles. The house was gaudy, but not all that fantastic. The actors were pretty though.

The music did what it needed and rarely got noticed.

Score: 0.5

Fun

I enjoyed watching some of my favourite sci-fi tv actors in a holiday movie. Beyond that, it was a lovely, sappy movie that had a smile on my face the entire time.

Score: 1

Overall

This is a step in the right direction, in my opinion, for queer representation. That being said, the movie was a sappy holiday movie with surface level storylines that could have been better served with more talking. It is, however, a joyful stress and angst-lite movie.

Final Score: 3 stars out of 5

Jingle Jangle: A Christmas Journey – JenEric Movie Review

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Hello Cinephiles,

Today we’re talking about the 2020 film Jingle Jangle: A Christmas Journey.

Story

It was a cute Christmas story but was derivative and predictable. Each beat (no pun intended) was expected and the middle bits dragged a little.

The emphasis on the necklace felt like an unused thread, and the “magic” inventor granddaughter proved she was smart and then the plot didn’t let her fix or make anything. It also contained one of my most hated tropes, where the adults don’t listen to the kids.

I’m trying really hard to ignore the moral, ethical, and humane questions of creating sentient toys and being able to mass produce a slave toy race that you can “reprogram” when they don’t behave.

Score: 0

Characters

The acting in the movie is superb. The characters are mostly pretty awesome. I didn’t really like the mail woman / love interest. Her constant mis-naming rubbed me the wrong way. Overall she came off as a male Christmas love interest, which I’m not a fan of.

The Jeronicus and his apprentice storyline is sad but extremely well acted. Journey was a joy and should have had a larger part in the plot.

Score: 0.5

Dialogue

The dialogue was appropriately steampunk meets modern day in a way that only a holiday fable could do. Some overly sappy and some kinda deep.

Score: 0.5

Visuals and Music

The sets, clothing, lighting, character design, and worldbuilding are fantastic. The cinematography was amazing and background information on posters, etc is meticulously done.

The music is fantastic, although I would have liked one last big number at the end.

I found the choreography a little repetitive, but not enough to dampen my awe at the music and visuals.

Score: 1

Fun

I was awed by the first few frames and hooked by the first song. It wasn’t until the midway point that I fell a little out of love but it passed fast enough. My family and children were riveted. The 17 month old would stop and watch, or dance, at every song and cooed at the adorable robot.

Score: 1

Overall

One of the most beautiful movies I’ve seen with some amazing songs and more than a little magic. It falls flat if you think about it too long, and all the beauty and wonderful acting doesn’t cover up the lack of original story.

Final Score: 3 stars out of 5

Fantasy and Taters

Hello fellow readers and writers,

I’d like to address an age old argument: Potatoes in Fantasy.

Image from Lord of the Rings.
Gollum asks, “What’s taters, precious? What’s taters, eh?”
Sam replies, “Po tay toes”

Potatoes in Fantasy?

There’s an argument that potatoes, zucchini, tomatoes, pumpkins, and other non-European food don’t belong in medieval fantasy.

The argument goes that a fantasy should stick to it’s temporal cultural roots. Since potatoes are a South American food, they shouldn’t exist in a European inspired fantasy.

It continues to go along the lines of dragons being a fantasy element and potatoes being a real like element that having the first makes it fantasy and the second lazy writing.

Potatoes, apparently, hurt an audience’s suspension of disbelief.

What’s your opinion Éric?

I think that if you are writing a historical fantasy or any form of historical fiction, you should make sure to avoid anachronisms.

I can even see the argument for gritty, or realistic fantasy trying to be as close to it’s cultural inspiration as possible.

No, really, what do you think?

Okay fine. I think no potatoes in fantasy is overly didactic, ridiculous, and extremely condescending. I think it’s another way to gatekeep and I think it leads to people who don’t know shit complaining about false anachronisms.

If a damned potato throws you out of a fantasy story, then maybe you should consider only reading historical novels.

The 11th Doctor points at Strax the Sontaran and says, “I’m the clever one, you’re the potato one.” Which is honestly how I see the condescending pendants that make this argument.

In my opinion, if you want to write french fries into your fantasy, go right ahead. I’m a fan of kitchen sink style fantasy (throwing everything into it including the kitchen sink.)

We’ve been giving King Arthur full plate armour for the past hundred years, so why the hell shouldn’t we use potatoes?!

Do you disagree?

Éric

Week 14 – A Very Merry Pooh Year Results

Virtual school was pretty good this week. Dragon did the days of the week and the months of the year for the teachers. She told me the seasons. She was asked to sing the Automne song (which she doesn’t know yet, so that went about as well as can be expected).

They were read a book about a cat planting a seed. They had to raise their hands when they heard a word with a V. Dragon raised her hand for the word “livre” and got to tell the teacher. (I’m sensing a theme…)

We logged on a tiny bit early after lunch, and the teacher was already on, so Dragon got some one-on-one time with math! They did some addition. Dragon was having a hard time conceptualizing the numbers, so I asked if she could count crayons to help her, which was eagerly agreed to by the teacher, and Dragon seemed to grasp the concept much faster, so I’m pleased and impressed.

They were read a Christmas story about a bird giving away all his sweaters to other animals in need and almost freezing to death, but then Santa brought him a new sweater because the bird understands the true spirit of Christmas. It was beautifully illustrated.

Homeschool was a lot of fun this week. There won’t be pictures of the presents she made until after Christmas, for obvious reasons. I will amend the post after then and reshare this post on social media so you can see them. 🙂 Post amended as of December 25.

Dance

She did ballet 2-3 times this week. She also played outside and built a snowman (something she’s been begging to do for weeks, whether there was snow on the ground or not…)

Music

Piano: she played all her old pieces and reviewed the clapping and counting. And then she played two new pieces that she had never seen before, using ABCDE. And then she did clapping and counting from a pattern of quarter and half notes, which is a lot harder than it sounds (according to the teacher). She did very well this week!

Them they played chopsticks and Jingle bells (with major assistance).

We listened to French Christmas music this week. (obviously)

Crochet

We did not do crocheting this week, as she wanted to wrap the presents she made.

Basic Information

Working on the days of the week verbally is going well. She remembers without prompting, and can tell me the day before and the day after any given day. The months of the year is also going excellently. All months have proper pronounciation now, and we’re working on the month before and after any given month.

The saisons de l’année are now memorized, including printemps. We’re working on how each of them feel and the types of things we can do during each of them.

Printing words

Dragon did not want to do the second set of printing. I think she did very well, though. Lots of hearts because, and I quote, “I love you Mum!” Awww!

Counting objects/math-type activities

She is EXCELLENT at counting. Not so great at printing the numbers. I think the new number worksheets in 2021 will help with that. (I hope)

We did more addition math with objects like in her virtual school, and had a lot of fun with that.

Storytime

We read stories from the teacher’s outline that was sent to us on Monday. She enjoyed that, and we will continue to do it next week.

We watched Vampirina in French on Disney Plus, one episode a day. Dragon is enjoying it immensely, and is even recognizing some words!

Activity

Make Xmas gifts – she had a lot of fun deciding on colours and working the tools to make these (with assitance).

Note: I will add more pictures here once the presents have been given; Dec 25: pictures added.

Make Xmas tags – we discovered a bunch of Disney tags, so rather than cut them out, she wrote her name on them. They were too small for her to feel confident to write the other people’s names, so I did that for her.

2021 Serial Story Voting

Hello My Imaginary Friends,

You made it quite clear you wanted to something completely original this year. I’ll do my best.

Now you get to choose the details of what you’d like to read. These polls will close at 11:59 on December 31st.

This poll is no longer accepting votes

What should be the genre of the 2021 Serial Story?
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What should be the setting of 2021's Serial Story?
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What should the main character be?
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What should be the conflict?
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Thank you for voting,

Éric

A Christmas Prince Series – JenEric Movie Review

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Hello Cinephiles,

Today we’re talking about the 2017 film A Christmas Prince, The 2018 film A Christmas Prince: The Royal Wedding, and the 2019 film A Christmas Prince: The Royal Baby.

Story

A Christmas Prince

The main plot of the movie is typical undercover reporter fall in love with subject. It makes reporters look bad and honestly the entire things is awkward.

The parts of the story that shine are when the characters are soul searching or making genuine connections. The sister character is fantastic and I could have watched the whole movie about her instead.

Score: 0

The Royal Wedding

The weak mystery is barely explored instead they spend most of it on wedding angst and pushing the main character around.

Again, like the first on the bright spot is the sister. She’s inspiring and adorable.

Score: 0

The Royal Baby

This was a well written closed-circle mystery that kept me guessing until the end. (Although I did have the culprit in my top 3.) The characters were less wet towel and they gelled with each other more. There was some awkward drama and they tried much too hard to pin the blame on Simon, again.

Score: 0.5

Characters

A Christmas Prince

The main character does a great job of being doe-eyed and fell for the prince the same time we all did, when we saw him with his sister. There’s some nice developement for the main three characters but overall it felt lack-luster.

Score: 0.5

The Royal Wedding

The king went from an unsure prince who doesn’t want to commit to being king to now being an unsure king who trusts his advisors way too much. The main character gets pushed around and is only really interesting when she pushes back or is helping the sister. There’s also a storyline that’s lifted directly from Princess Diaries. I’ll give the movie this, they did a great job with the redemption arc.

Score: 0.5

The Royal Baby

Overall this was a cute and joyful set of characters, something that should be standard for a Christmas movie. I liked the new additions.

Score: 1

Dialogue

A Christmas Prince

Mostly acceptable, if a little over the top. There are a few good speeches about identity, but nothing spectacular. The dad and the sister got all the great lines.

Score: 0.5

The Royal Wedding

Completely over the top; comparing the dialogue to a telenovela would be an insult to telenovelas.

However, as a giant nerd, I did appreciate the quotes and nods to other movies.

Score: 0.5

The Royal Baby

The writers built on the geeky quotes from the last one and made sure to include as much dorky future parents stuff as possible. The dialogue for them was believable and cute.

Score: 0.5

Visuals and Music

A Christmas Prince

The cinematography of this movie made me angry and gave me a headache. My family didn’t seem to notice, but the constant slow paning for no reason was extremely frustrating.

The locations were lovely and very thematic.

The music was lack-luster and was only elevated by the christmas music included. (You can’t go wrong with Tchaickovsky.)

Score: 0.5

The Royal Wedding

The cinematographer discovered quick cuts since the last one and they were almost as over used as the pans.

That being said, the scenery and clothing were good and the music classic.

Score: 0.5

The Royal Baby

Finally the useless pans are gone and the director and cinematographer started to frame the shots better. It’s not excellent, but good. The castle and clothing are as beautiful as ever.

The music didn’t stand out much; a few cute scenes but nothing spectacular.

Score: 0.5

Fun

A Christmas Prince

Breaking a ming vase or shooting an arrow through a window is a level of awkward I don’t like. There’s a lot of the movie that just isn’t fun to watch even if you know everything will end up fine.

Score: 0.5

The Royal Wedding

The obvious mystery was dragged out too long, and the angst was also dragged out too long. I spent a lot of the movie rolling my eyes and not yelling.

The sister and eventual warm ending was good though.

Score: 0.5

The Royal Baby

I have a soft spot for good mysteries and this was pretty close. It also isn’t angsty and kept my attention. A lot of fun.

Score: 1

Overall

A Christmas Prince

An excellent cast with a mediocre script and lots of cringe, the only thing that truly saves this is the interactions with the little sister.

Final Score: 2 stars out of 5

The Royal Wedding

An acceptable sequel to a lack-luster movie. Too little plot and too much angst. Again the sister saves the movie but she’s joined by a delightful redemption.

Final Score: 2 stars out of 5

The Royal Baby

Finally a balance between urgency and angst, this movie is the best of the three, with a fun mystery and lots of the best parts of the first two movies. I will probably skip the others in future years and just watch this one.

Final Score: 3.5 stars out of 5

Snow – JenEric Movie Review

How This Works – Read Other Reviews

Hello Cinephiles,

Today we’re talking about the 2004 movie Snow.

Story

At times the movie is brilliant and others you wonder how that story point got past editing. It’s a bare bones slightly goofy plot. The world building is interesting and other than a few cringy moments it’s great.

I like the near complete reversal of traditional gender roles in holiday movies.

Score: 0.5

Characters

Nick is at times a clueless goofy idiot and at others a wise loving Santa… It’s a role that should be hacky and terrible but is made believable by Tom Cavanagh. (Seriously this role shouldn’t work, but he makes it not only likeable but one of my favourite versions of Santa.)

The rest of the cast is perfectly suited and well acted. Ashley Williams manages to play up the humour of her attraction to Nick without ever coming off as lewd.

Score: 1

Visuals and Music

It’s a made for tv movie from the mid 2000’s the visuals are okay. The cinematography is bare bones and the special effects are mostly limited to the mirror and a flying reindeer. The costumes are very well done, especially the Santa Suit at the end.

The music is fantastically well thought out. I’m not humming the themes but they were perfect for the characters and had a quirky cheerfulness that saved some scenes from being too serious or too scary.

Score: 0.5

Dialogue

The dialogue is clever and adorable. Also very dorky. I loved that we went from, “Nick… name… mine… my name is Nick.” at the begining of the movie to, “The first time I saw you I forgot to breathe.” near the end.

Score: 0.5

Fun

My wife and I have been watching the movie yearly for a decade and a half. It’s a Christmas staple that I enjoy. I’m not sure my kids liked it as much.

Score: 1

Overall

The movie is both adorable and aDORKable. The actors elevate what could have been a weird and uncomfortable movie into something lovely and fun.

Final Score: 3.5

Point Zero – Chapter 12

Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12


Chapter 12: A Road Trip and Rescue Mission

My best friends, the only people I had left, were being held by a government organization that wanted to use their powers to fight a war; or something. I’m not really sure what they wanted. I only had the word of my first love and crush, turned super-villain, for what they wanted.

We needed to make our way to CPL headquarters. The Canadian Protection League made their home in a familiar place: Point Zero. The place it had all started, a small town in Northern Ontario that had been wiped off the face of the map by aliens, sparing only the five of us and giving us ridiculous powers.

I thought my life was a bad comic book, but the more I spent time with Frank and realized he was the same man I’d loved, the more I was starting to think it was a bad science fiction television show from the 1990’s. 

How do two known super powered people get to Northern Ontario without raising suspicion? We weren’t sure, I couldn’t fly us there, driving would get us caught at the roadblocks, same with airplanes or busses. After lots of discussion we decided the best thing to do was go north into Quebec and then cross the border. 

We bought a used car from a sketchy dude and drove it to Montreal. Frank was chatty but very jumpy. He’d definitely changed from the carefree theatre major-to-be, but I’d changed too. We talked about everything and he apologized excessively.

In the middle of a conversation about our old communications tech teacher, Mz. Coderre, I interrupted him and said, “I don’t understand something. Mel had perfect control of her powers. How did she lose control of the storm?”

He smiled, “I thought the same thing. Mel doesn’t do anything until she’s sure it’ll be perfect, except pun.” He paused while we laughed. “I think there was a storm already starting and when she drew hers, it accelerated the pace. I looked at the data while you were in the hospital—” He made an apologetic face. “and when she tried to dismiss it, the storm weakened severely, but then picked up power naturally.”

“So she didn’t cause it?”

“She made it worse… I think you did too.”

“Great, so we’re both to blame?”

“Only a little…”

I sighed.

In Montreal we sold the car and bought another one. I was shocked at how easy it was to find illegal car vendors.

We took the back roads as far as the border and then traded the car for a motorboat. The Abitibi Lake and River got us close and the rest we could walk.

We walked, doing our best to survive on old beef jerky and canned food. Most of the water was drinkable, but we boiled it first just in case. 

Finally after what felt like weeks but was really only three days, we made to the same clearing where we first got shot at by the RCMP helicopter.

“How do you think they prevented Jane from teleporting?” I asked.

“Probably knocked her out and then…” he trailed off.

We both finished the sentence, “James.”

“So Jane is probably isolated or knocked out. Will they keep Mel and James in the same place?” The only answer to my question was his shrug.

We had a plan. It was a terrible plan, but a plan. Frank created two puppets of us and a few large scary orks. They appeared at the nearest town and started making a fuss.

We waited in the thickest part of the trees for the soldiers to leave. He held my hand and the electricity from that simple gesture had nothing to do with my powers. I was conflicted and worried about what he’d become and how we’d manage after all this was over. 

Four helicopters and several personnel carriers exited the base. We waited five minutes and I hovered us to a section of fence and used a concentrated arc of energy to cut through it. We walked into the base and tried our best to be stealthy. I had expected a highly protected complex, but this was more of a large tent city with some cabins. It was all built on the glass plateau created during the Point Zero incident.

Frank seemed to know where he was going and led us towards a series of cabins with reinforced doors. The lock on the first cabin fell off easily. Inside were Mel and Jane. 

Mel looked at me with wide eyes. “What are you doing here?” Then at Frank. “You’re alive.”

“Yes, he’s alive and we’re here to save you. The storm wasn’t completely your fault but more of team effort and bad luck. Please come with us,” I said it pleadingly. I was terrified she’d say no.

“Okay. Nothing I’ve done is as bad as what these people want me to do, so I’ll punish myself another time.”

Jane had been quietly watching us when I looked at her she shook her head, “They have James. I’m not leaving him.”

Mel, Frank, and I all responded the same way, “Of course not.” It felt nice to be on the same wavelength.

“Where are they holding him?”

Jane shook her head. There were four other cabins like this one but only one of them had a hose going to it. It was the most obvious place and thankfully he was there. James and Jane kissed for a long time and I was starting to get worried.

We checked the other cabins and found them empty but prepped for more people. Had they discovered more like us? Captured some from the other countries?

When we left the last cabin, Frank asked, “Shouldn’t we destroy this place?” As he said it a loud alarm went off and I heard the cocking of guns.

“DON’T MOVE A MUSCLE. Or do, I’d love to find out how fast your powers really are.” The one speaking was a bad stereotype of the military; the kind of man you found in really old movies.

I didn’t know what to do, there were fifty guards with guns pointed at us. Could I raise a big enough shield? Could Jane get us out quickly?

The alarm sirens were joined by a familiar green glow. It came from beneath us, the glass itself was glowing. It got brighter and brighter until I could barely see. Then it stopped and it was complete darkness. 

This time I looked up. I didn’t see the spaceship but I did see the green beam come towards us. I grabbed Frank’s hand as the searing pain hit me again. The last thing I heard was the soldiers’ screams.

The End?


While you wait for 2021’s Serial Story, catch up on last years