Today we’re talking about the 2018 film Love, Simon.
Story
A modern take on a letter writing romance with some very heavy themes. I get how important and intense coming out can be, but this movie seemed to have trouble deciding if it was a tragic coming out movie, teen angst movie, or romance.
Score: 0.5
Characters
Pretentious wealthy teen suburban hipsters. The characters are mostly likeable but extremely judgemental. Lots of emphasis on how people look and equating that to their moral characters. Not a fan of the nerd bashing or fatphobia.
That being said; the parents were great, the vice principal super cringe, and the friendships touching.
Score: 0.5
Dialogue
When emotions are high and characters actually talk to each other, the dialogue is spot on. The coming out to his parents is heart wrenching to watch as a parent. I also loved the speech Simon gives to his blackmailer.
The rest of the time, the dialogue feels like all other YA intellectually pretentious films. (Someone should take dialogue from this, Perks of Being a Wallflower, and anything John Green; and make an internet quiz to guess who said it.)
Score: 0.5
Visuals and Music
The cinematography is dated and looks like bad knock off of John Hughes. The use of text and email is clunky and awkward. The camera work is simultaneously too slow and too jerky.
The music is not good enough for a film with a main character who’s a music snob, but isn’t bad.
Score: 0.5
Fun
The amount of angst in this movie was palpable and the amount of cringe was painful. The letters were fun and I liked the pacing of the movie. Coming out isn’t easy and I feel like this film puts all the blame for that on the main character and not enough on society.
Score: 0.5
Overall
A coming of age pseudo-romance populated by pretentious teens making bad choices. The movie does a great job of showing the emotional difficulties of coming out, but makes it feel like it’s mostly the gay man’s fault for complicating it.
A very simple twist on “fake dating”, the story isn’t all that exciting or interesting on it’s own and follows the usual YA romance beats.
Score: 0
Characters
The characters and actors in this are extremely compelling. Especially the secondary characters and family. Interesting and make you want more of their story.
Score: 1
Dialogue
The dialogue vacillates between the usual precociousness of YA characters and some outright hilarious lines. The heart to heart moments are by far the strongest and hold the movie together with a lot of emotion.
Score: 1
Visuals and Music
The visuals are the usual Netflix stylised shots. Nothing special.
The music is unmemorable but not bad.
Score: 0.5
Fun
There’s a lot of cringe but love wins out once the characters communicate and there’s some fun scenes in between. It’s not great but it’s not bad.
Score: 0.5
Overall
A perfectly average YA romance with the always fun “fake dating” trope. The humdrum story, visuals, and music are elevated by the sheer charisma of the characters and some excellent dialogue.
The main plot of the movie is typical undercover reporter fall in love with subject. It makes reporters look bad and honestly the entire things is awkward.
The parts of the story that shine are when the characters are soul searching or making genuine connections. The sister character is fantastic and I could have watched the whole movie about her instead.
Score: 0
The Royal Wedding
The weak mystery is barely explored instead they spend most of it on wedding angst and pushing the main character around.
Again, like the first on the bright spot is the sister. She’s inspiring and adorable.
Score: 0
The Royal Baby
This was a well written closed-circle mystery that kept me guessing until the end. (Although I did have the culprit in my top 3.) The characters were less wet towel and they gelled with each other more. There was some awkward drama and they tried much too hard to pin the blame on Simon, again.
Score: 0.5
Characters
A Christmas Prince
The main character does a great job of being doe-eyed and fell for the prince the same time we all did, when we saw him with his sister. There’s some nice developement for the main three characters but overall it felt lack-luster.
Score: 0.5
The Royal Wedding
The king went from an unsure prince who doesn’t want to commit to being king to now being an unsure king who trusts his advisors way too much. The main character gets pushed around and is only really interesting when she pushes back or is helping the sister. There’s also a storyline that’s lifted directly from Princess Diaries. I’ll give the movie this, they did a great job with the redemption arc.
Score: 0.5
The Royal Baby
Overall this was a cute and joyful set of characters, something that should be standard for a Christmas movie. I liked the new additions.
Score: 1
Dialogue
A Christmas Prince
Mostly acceptable, if a little over the top. There are a few good speeches about identity, but nothing spectacular. The dad and the sister got all the great lines.
Score: 0.5
The Royal Wedding
Completely over the top; comparing the dialogue to a telenovela would be an insult to telenovelas.
However, as a giant nerd, I did appreciate the quotes and nods to other movies.
Score: 0.5
The Royal Baby
The writers built on the geeky quotes from the last one and made sure to include as much dorky future parents stuff as possible. The dialogue for them was believable and cute.
Score: 0.5
Visuals and Music
A Christmas Prince
The cinematography of this movie made me angry and gave me a headache. My family didn’t seem to notice, but the constant slow paning for no reason was extremely frustrating.
The locations were lovely and very thematic.
The music was lack-luster and was only elevated by the christmas music included. (You can’t go wrong with Tchaickovsky.)
Score: 0.5
The Royal Wedding
The cinematographer discovered quick cuts since the last one and they were almost as over used as the pans.
That being said, the scenery and clothing were good and the music classic.
Score: 0.5
The Royal Baby
Finally the useless pans are gone and the director and cinematographer started to frame the shots better. It’s not excellent, but good. The castle and clothing are as beautiful as ever.
The music didn’t stand out much; a few cute scenes but nothing spectacular.
Score: 0.5
Fun
A Christmas Prince
Breaking a ming vase or shooting an arrow through a window is a level of awkward I don’t like. There’s a lot of the movie that just isn’t fun to watch even if you know everything will end up fine.
Score: 0.5
The Royal Wedding
The obvious mystery was dragged out too long, and the angst was also dragged out too long. I spent a lot of the movie rolling my eyes and not yelling.
The sister and eventual warm ending was good though.
Score: 0.5
The Royal Baby
I have a soft spot for good mysteries and this was pretty close. It also isn’t angsty and kept my attention. A lot of fun.
Score: 1
Overall
A Christmas Prince
An excellent cast with a mediocre script and lots of cringe, the only thing that truly saves this is the interactions with the little sister.
Final Score: 2 stars out of 5
The Royal Wedding
An acceptable sequel to a lack-luster movie. Too little plot and too much angst. Again the sister saves the movie but she’s joined by a delightful redemption.
Final Score: 2 stars out of 5
The Royal Baby
Finally a balance between urgency and angst, this movie is the best of the three, with a fun mystery and lots of the best parts of the first two movies. I will probably skip the others in future years and just watch this one.
Oh angsty Christmas. This movie is well thought out both as a comedy and drama. The world building is both enormous in scale and efficiently done.
Score: 0.5
Characters
With the exception of Bryony and Mrs. Claus, I find the majority of the characters annoying. It’s not a flaw of the writing, but more a necessity for the character’s growth. That doesn’t mean I don’t spend a large portion of the movie stopping myself from yelling at the screen.
Score: 0.5
Dialogue
Extremely well acted with unique vocal traits and some great lines. Overall the dialogue is smart, well thought out, and very funny.
I’ve watched this now in Quebec French and in English and both are fantastic.
Score: 1
Visuals and Music
The animation is starting to show it’s age but is still impressive. Lots of background visual gags and the whole thing is quite pretty.
The music is acceptable but nothing special.
Score: 0.5
Fun
I enjoy the movie and I don’t. It’s a lot of angst and a lot of awkward but it does end all nice and fuzzy. There’s also a lot of fun and funny bits.
Score: 0.5
Overall
A Christmas story that revels in it’s worldbuilding without getting boring. The characters grow and angst their way through a heartwarming story with plenty of laughs.
Today we’re talking about the 2017 film Coin Heist.
Story
The build-up and teen angst were forefront on this movie. Despite the name, there was very little heist. The film was disjointed with too many undeveloped threads. The heist was jumbled and not explained. Meaning we weren’t sure where the mistakes in the heist happened. It felt like it wanted to be a heist movie, a teen drama, and an independent art film all at once.
The ending set up a perfect revenge scenario that would have been a great pay off, but didn’t use it and that pisses me off.
Score: 0
Characters
The characters were boring, stereotypical, and angsty-er than a WB show from the early 2000’s. The acting was passable but it felt like they were as confused about what was going on as the audience.
Score: 0.5
Dialogue
The only thing more grating than the bad heist dialogue or the teen angst was the annoying trope that was the teacher.
Score: 0
Visuals and Music
The visuals were close in and pretty basic. There wasn’t anything that was particularly pretty or impressive but nothing terrible.
The music was okay, lots of angst-ridden heist-like music and a good song.
Score: 0.5
Fun
When they were in heist mode (maybe 20 minutes of the movie) it was fun and exciting. Beyond that it was a little boring.
Score: 0.5
Overall
I’m really angry at the ending. If they’d used the extra coins to flood the market and basically devalue them, they could have gotten back at the jackass that caused the entire thing. Instead they melt them down and add them to a statue… sigh.
I’m currently reading Deadhouse Gates by Steven Erikson. This is a huge book but unlike a lot of other huge fantasy books a lot happens. Most of what happens is pretty horrifying.
There have been descriptions of babies on pikes, crucified children, eye balls exploding… Gory and chilling stuff. It’s also extremely well written to only shock and not scar the reader. The emphasis is always on the characters and not on the horrific things that happen.
Arguably the stuff that happens in this book is worse than anything that happened in the Story of Ice and Fire, at least the first 3 books I read, but it’s not done to disturb the reader but instead as part of the world building and realities of the world.
Thankfully, for me, this book doesn’t waste much space on angst. The characters are forced to deal with their scars and horrors as they are shoved from one death defying moment to the other.
Yes the book makes me cringe and some descriptions had my skin crawling but it’s written in such a way that it won’t keep me up at night. (Some of the mythology and story twists might but that’s a good thing.)
So far the book is amazingly written but definitely not my style. I still have a third to finish but military horrors are not my thing. I can see why this would be someone’s favourite series. It takes a lot to keep me reading when it’s so far from my preferred style to read. A lesser story or writing style with the same elements would have me quit two hundred pages in.
