Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem – JenEric Movie Review

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Hello Cinephiles,

Today we’re talking about the 2023 film Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem.

Story

Rebellious teens ignore all the rules and get everything they want. Splinter is worried about their safety (rightly so, have you met humanity?) but eventually realizes that he’s being overbearing.

There’s a giant whale mutant chimera in there too.

It very much feels like an 80’s plot with 2020’s slang.

Score: 0.5

Characters

The turtles are extremely authentically teenage boys. My sister-in-law, a teacher, looked a little shell-shocked (pun intended). The antics, limited forward thinking and overthinking had me getting flashbacks to being a teen.

April was great, despite the lazy puke jokes, and I really liked having her be the same age as the turtles.

Score: 1

Dialogue

This dialogue will feel dated by the end of the year. There’s more slang than you can shake a ninja star at.

The penchant for the turtles to all talk at the same time is both relatable and well done, although exhausting to follow. The teasing and quipping felt natural and hilarious. The villain was over-the-top but it worked.

April’s smarts and snark were awesome.

Score: 0.5

Visuals and Music

The style of animation felt very dark. The backgrounds were gorgeous and the characters great, but it was a lot of dark on dark on dark.

The music was good and did it’s job, but was nothing special.

Score: 0.5

Fun

The movie was interesting and fun, but went from pure pessimism to ridiculous optimism way too quick near the end. It felt like the writers wrote themselves into a corner and decided to just do a big battle.

The 4yo loved it and the 7yo liked it but not a lot.

The rest of the family enjoyed it, but we were all tired by the end.

Score: 0.5

Overall

An excellent TMNT movie with lots of action and for the first time the turtles felt like actual teens. April was a standout character and making her a teen was a brilliant idea. That said, the last act of the movie felt forced and the colour palate was a little too dark.

Final Score: 3 Stars out of 5

Ready or Not – JenEric Movie Review

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Hello Cinephiles,

Today we’re talking about the 2019 film Ready or Not.

Story

This was meant as a dark comedy but came off more as a survival horror with incompetent, if better equipped, enemies. There were a lot of jump scares that doubled as attempts at humour, but overall it missed the mark almost completely.

Score: 0

Characters

The characters were interesting. A wonderful assortment of terrible rich people. Unfortunately, they were built up and almost all of them had unsatisfying deaths.

The bride played it like a horror action movie while the direction played it like a survival movie and the difference was a little jarring. She was an excellent actress and I would have liked to see the movie she was acting for rather then what they cut together.

Score: 0.5

Dialogue

The snippy rich family is an old trope but fun to watch. The dialogue between them was entertaining and the crazed aunt had some great lines.

The bride also had some excellent one liners.

However, the switching between whiny rich people and murderous devil worshipers was a little bland.

Score: 0.5

Visuals and Music

The music was okay if expected. Creepy old-timey music is really overdone and has been done better.

The visuals were appropriately gory and the special effects were excellent.

Score: 0.5

Fun

The movie starts quickly and the intro is done well, but after that it gets a little repetitive. The twists are predictable and honestly I just kept looking forward to the bride snapping and taking initiative to fight back.

I spent most of this movie planning a better version.

Score: 0

Overall

A wonderful premise and excellent actress wasted on a mediocre and repetitive story. The action and special effects are great but everything else has been done better.

Final Score: 1.5 Stars out of 5

Eternals – JenEric Movie Review

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Hello Cinephiles,

Today we’re talking about the 2021 film Eternals.

Story

The epic scale and complexity of characters wasn’t well served in the format of a movie. I think it would have worked better as a miniseries. I think some of the characters didn’t get enough screen time to show their motivations and evolution. That being said, I really enjoyed the non-linear aspects combined with the fascinating weaving into history.

Score: 0.5

Characters

There wasn’t enough time for all the characters and because of that, they seemed underdeveloped. They were very well acted and directed.

I think you were supposed to sympathise with all of them, but there were three that I didn’t like even before the twist. Maybe that’s a sign of a complex character.

Score: 0.5

Dialogue

The humour was extremely well-placed to balance the epic drama that was unfolding and even the info-dumps were very well placed.

Score: 1

Visuals and Music

Even with our state of the art 4K television, there were a lot of very dark scenes. It ruined the beautiful scenery and shots by forcing us to squint for no reason.

Beyond that, the cinematography was absolutely amazing and the amount of background detail is completely worth a rewatch.

The music was suitably epic and felt coherent with the MCU.

Score: 0.5

Fun

I’m surprised that the kids sat through the entire movie. It was fascinating, but not always action packed or accessible for kids.

I enjoyed it, but it was long. Oddly enough, I do think it would hold up better as 6 episodes. I was never bored though.

Score: 1

Overall

An extremely strong attempt at bringing the epicness of Lord of the Rings to the Marvel Universe. Too many characters and too little time for them to shine hurts the movie, but a brilliant script and excellent acting make it more than worth watching.

Final Score: 3.5 Stars out of 5

So… Really?

Hello My Imaginary Friends,

So it’s the year 2022… Year three of the pandemic… It’s starting to feel like this is the year that our government and society give up on caring.

That might sound melodramatic, but as of Wednesday January 20th, Ontario has seen 10,801 deaths (According to Ontario Public Health). If you compare the deaths between the 31st of December and the 20th of January there’s a difference of 595. That means in the past 19 days Ontario is averaging 31 deaths a day. If the trend continues, we’re looking at probably doubling the deaths this year.

Yet despite rising hospital admissions and deaths, the government has sent unvaccinated 4 year olds back to school and is reopening indoor dining. It’s hard to believe this government cares about those of us who are considered high risk. (Babies, Kids, Immunocompromised, Fat, etc.)

I understand that I’m an extremist in my belief that human life is more important than money, economy, or other such things. I truly wish our government would do radical things like significantly increase spending on healthcare and education.

January is a hard month for me and for a lot of other people. So it’s hard to be hopeful right now.

My wife and I are extremely lucky and I thank the fates everyday for the privilege and advantages we have been given. I’m still sad for those that aren’t as lucky.

We will get through this and I hope that it’ll be with minimal loss of life and even less long term trauma.

Stay safe and be kind.

As they say in Everdome, “May your fractured nights be followed by glorious dawns.”

Éric

Star Trek: Discovery; I finally finished it

Hello My Imaginary Friends,

I had a hard time finishing Star Trek: Discovery. That says a lot considering I’ve happily watched every Star Trek series to come out since TNG.

I have a lot of thoughts that I’ll share after the cut.

Star Trek: Discovery (l-r): Oyin Oladejo as Joann Owosekun; Sara Mitich as Airiam; Anthony Rapp as Paul Stamets; Mary Wiseman as Sylvia Tilly; Sonequa Martin-Green as Michael Burnham; Ronnie Rowe as Bryce; Patrick Kwok-Choon as Rhys; Doug Jones as Saru; Emily Coutts as Keyla Detmer © 2017 CBS Interactive. photo by Jan Thijs

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