Dear Pegasus and Dragon – Disney 2020

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Hello My Mythical Brood,

We recently came back from a two week vacation in Florida. We rented a house, with Grannie and Granddad, and visited Disney World, A LOT.

Pegasus, you started teething not long before and kept us up at night. (Mum and I mostly.) You fell asleep on rides and mostly seemed confused as to why we were standing around and not letting you crawl. When you weren’t annoyed you spent the time smiling at people and making their hearts melt. You have a way of looking at people, with your big blue eyes, like you’re judging them and then releasing a massive smile. It makes anyone caught by it ridiculously happy.

Dragon, you will probably not remember this trip. At 3 you’re still very young, but if you do I hope you remember the joy and excitement you felt on the rides. The first time you took a rollercoaster, Seven Dwarfs Mine Train, the fireworks started as we were climbing. It was beautiful. I’ll always remember how you would get super excited to meet a character and then completely freeze, and the smile you would have every time you saw something exciting.

The two of you had your ups and downs (Same with us). Some days were harder then others but you did great being dragged around the parks and I hope you enjoyed it as much as we did.

I also hope you remember the quieter times at the house talking and playing with Grannie and Granddad. Without them, this trip would have been impossible. They are truly remarkable helping with you and everything else required in a big trip. We don’t always agree on everything, but I wouldn’t have wanted to take this or any Disney trip without them.

In the end, Pegasus and I got a cold but years from now I hope we’ll remember the good things.

I had a wonderful time with you, Mum, Grannie, and Granddad.

I love you both very much,

Papa

Sleeping Beauty – JenEric Movie Review

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Hello Cinephiles,

Today we’re talking about the 1959 film Sleeping Beauty.

Story

This is a classic. It’s now 61 years old and the 16th animated feature by Disney.

The story is pretty standard fairy tale with a little less death, rape, and horror in it than Grimm liked. A lot of the hour and seventeen minutes is spent of the set up to the big song number in the woods.

Other than some cringe-inducing grabbyness on Phillip’s side and some alcohol jokes that haven’t aged well, it held up pretty well.

The major difference with it and the more modern films is how simple the story is. Something that can be said about a lot of 1950 movies, not just the animated ones.

Score: 0.5

Characters

Poor Aurora had little to no choices in the movie. She was literally tossed around by the forces of fate and faerie.

Phillip was a nice strong hero but also felt young and less 1400 more 1950’s, which I suppose was the point.

The fathers, as is usual, were useless; and Aurora’s mother had almost no part.

Maleficent was a lonely, angry witch who could have used more motivation.

Score: 0.5

Dialogue

On average, the dialogue was simple, easy to understand and very forgettable. Maleficent didn’t need to call herself the Mistress of Evil for us to know she was the baddie, but she did.

The narration at the beginning felt over exposition-y and could have been done in dialogue or visually instead.

Score: 0

Visuals and Music

This was an absolutely gorgeous movie. Colourful, clean lines, no choppiness in animation. There are plenty of movies that don’t look half as good that came out in the past 10 years. The change in colour with the change in light source was beautiful, if a little over done.

The music was fantastic and catchy. If you don’t get Once Upon a Dream stuck in your head I’ll be surprised… and a little jealous.

Score: 1

Fun

This movie didn’t drag and if I found myself annoyed at the characters, there was always something visually stunning to look at. I had fun the entire time and wasn’t even tempted to look at my phone.

Score: 1

Conclusion

Overall, the movie was fun and beautiful. Some of the jokes fall flat after 60+ years but I didn’t need to pause and talk to my kids about what terrible thing was going on.

Final Score: 3 Stars

Preparing for the End

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Hello My Imaginary Friends,

This is a pre-written post. I’m either asleep recovering from an awesome vacation or asleep recovering from a sickness that I caught during the awesome vacation. (I hope its the former.)

Today I have a month and a half left in my Parental Leave for Pegasus. It’s gone by so quickly and frankly I’m not ready to go back to work. Don’t get me wrong, I love making money and doing my job. It’s just way better writing, hanging out with my kids, and doing things around the house. Darn it, I should have been independently wealthy. (How do I do that?)

It’s been great even and with the lack of sleep and the mini-nightmare that was/is potty training, I had a great time. I know I’m extremely lucky to have this time. Most people don’t get it.

So all good things come to an end. It feels more final now than it did the last time. I think that’s because we’re not planning on adding any more to the Mythical Brood. So this really is the last time I have extended time off until retirement (2040-2045 here I come) or making enough from my books to do that full time. (Come on, movie rights)

So I’ve had this overwhelming urge to make sure everything is ready for me to be gone all the time. I’m not sure if it’s a good thing or driving my wife to irritation, but I’ve upgraded our computers, fixed my daughter’s closet, built storage in the garage, cleaned the laundry room and added shelving, re-organized the kitchen, changed 2 faucets, added deck tiles to the deck, bought a lighter vacuum, bought and set up kitchen equipment to make it easier to cook, and replaced some light fixtures. I’m sure there’s more, but that’s off the top of my head.

I feel like I’m preparing for me not being there. Almost like someone who’s going to die. (That reminds me I need to set up an RESP for Pegasus.) I’m not. I plan on stubbornly hanging around until the 100 year anniversary of Doctor Who and Star Trek. I might as well see the fireworks for Canada’s bi-centennial while I’m at it.

It’s almost over, but I have another month and a half to spend with my little family and I intend to make the most of it.

Thanks for reading,

Éric

Emotional Investment

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Hello My Imaginary Friends,

Do you like sequels? Do you like reading/watching something that is formulaic or predictable?

It’s okay, we all do. I’m of the opinion that it’s a form of intellectual snobbery to insist that people must only consume stories that challenge them emotionally. Just because something is hard to read or makes you uncomfortable doesn’t mean it’s good or good for you. (It also doesn’t mean it’s bad.)

The reason we love things like sequels and series is the emotional investment. That the energy (mental or emotional) that it takes for someone to read or watch something. It’s the reason that some of us find it easier to watch 6 episodes of a TV show than 1 new movie.

When starting something new as a reader or watcher, you need to invest energy into the characters, understanding how they interact, figuring out the setting, understanding the plot, and trying to figure out how it all goes together.

With a sequel or formula, you already know the characters and the setting which frees you to relax and enjoy the other aspects.

As a writer, you need to think about the amount of energy people will be willing to spend. Having lots of characters and complex settings mean more energy for a reader to get into the book. If the characters die a lot, especially POV, or the complex setting keeps shifting then readers might feel their energy was wasted and not want to continue.

The same goes with playing around with tropes and genres. You have to set up how your book and setting are different early enough that people won’t feel cheated.

Of course everyone’s Emotional Investment quotas are different, as is their cost. Some people are energized by multiple characters where half die in the second book. Some people don’t invest that much in characters while others don’t care about setting. Everyone’s different.

It’s important to keep it in mind but it’s impossible to tailor to everyone. (Just like everything in writing.)

So next time you find yourself exhausted and wanting to re-read a book or just watch a random episode of a police procedural, remind yourself that it’s okay.

What books do you find draining but worth it? Mine are The Malazan series by Stephen Erikson. They are so much work, but a lot of fun. I usually have give myself a big pep talk before starting.

Latter Days,

Éric

Spies in Disguise – JenEric Movie Review

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Hello Cinephiles,

Today we’re talking about the 2019 movie Spies in Disguise.

Story

The movie starts as a standard spy thriller reminiscent of older James Bond. It even has a Bond-style intro sequence. There’s a car chase, stakeout, and they add a great twist by inserting an awkward and slightly out there scientist and gadget maker.

The movie exploits the tropes of Spy Thrillers, Accidental Spy, and buddy comedy in a way that could have easily been cringe worthy but wasn’t.

The themes of the movie seem to be a combination of violence begets violence and to challenge tradition. Which is pretty subtle and backed up with some spectacular action sequences.

That being said, it was a little predictable.

Score: .5

Characters

The tough guy scared by loss who’s a super spy is a tired cliché and is used to make you dislike the character to start with and redeem him in the long run. Will Smith does a great job with a character that could have been less likeable than Daniel Craig’s Bond. Unfortunately the character spends far too much of the movie on bravado and complaining. It gets annoying.

The geeky scientist who is driven by a sad backstory is normally the villain. He has every earmark of turning bad, but the writers never even let you think it a possibility. He’s a stalwart believer in a non-fatal form of justice. (Spider-Man, is that you?)

The secondary characters are entertaining but the villain is utterly forgettable.

Score: .5

Dialogue

Quipy, intelligent, and delightful. The movie shines in it’s dialogue and visuals.

A nice bonus for both an animated movie and a spy story was that the techno-babble was coherent and based in real science.

Score: 1

Visuals

It was a beautiful movie. Using visuals to move the story forward and add humour. It’s a beautiful movie that would be hilarious even without sound.

Score: 1

Fun

Other than a few times I wanted to slap the Spy character or the spy agency people, I really enjoyed this movie. There’s action, adventure, humour, and a feeling that everything will work out.

Score: 1

Conclusion

This is one of the better spy spoofs that I’ve seen. It avoids a lot of the pratfalls of awkwardness and really delivers some clever laughs. Dragon laughed a lot and sat the entire time.

Final Score: 4 Stars

Point Zero – Chapter 1

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Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12

Chapter 1: Changes, Walking, and Helicopters of Death.

Other than the searing pain and the green fire, the thing that is most etched into my memory is the smell of burnt hair. While my hair had been getting shaggy, for me, it had been completely burned away. That stench still makes me wretch any time I smell it.

The five of us were alone on a plane of emerald glass and four of us were moaning in pain. All of us had burn marks on parts of our bodies, but they looked months old. 

“Frank… Oh shit Frank’s not breathing.” James bent over Frank’s now scarred face and tried to do mouth to mouth and chest compressions. We all reached for our phones to discover there was nothing there. After what felt like much too long, he stopped. 

Gasping for air, James asked, “Why is it so hard to breathe?” He reached up to his neck and felt under the corners of his hoodie. It had two otters on it and said, Otterly Adorable; Mel had given it to him. He said a few curse words before adding, “I have gills. How did I get gills?”

“Where are we?” Jane asked, either oblivious to James’s panic or ignoring it. 

I felt the green glass we stood on and looked around. It stretched for almost as far as the eye could see. Far at a distance I saw trees. “I think I see forest over that way.”

“I have webs between my fingers!” James started to hyperventilate. Mel grabbed his hand and tried to calm him by helping him breathe. It wasn’t working. “I couldn’t save him… He’s already cold…” James was gasping for air and crying at the same time.

“It’s not your fault James. Don’t feel Gill-ty,” Mel punned, but had the good taste to cringe. Everyone stopped what they were doing and we just stared at her. She sheepishly said, “Sorry.” We all burst into manic laughter.

When we were done, James was softly sobbing. Mel and I picked up Frank’s body and we started walking towards the trees. 

After the burning feeling, the cold was almost a relief until it became too much. My head was the first part to get cold and I looked at my friends, “Why am I the only one who doesn’t have hair?”

“Hey, at least you don’t have gills. Wait, maybe I’ll actually be able to breathe underwater.” James started to sound excited instead of upset.

We were all dressed for September in Northern Ontario, but the weather was closer to winter now and our long sleeves and hoodies weren’t cutting it. We were all shivering and the sun was hiding from us behind clouds.

“Man, I wish the sun would could out of those clouds. I could at least pretend to be warm,” I said. Trying to be funny was Mel’s thing, but I need to talk.

The others stopped and looked at me funny, Jane tilted her head and said, “It’s the middle of the night? We can barely see each other. The only reason we’re going this way is ‘cause you said you saw trees.” The rest of them nodded in agreement and I looked up. The bright spot behind the clouds wasn’t the sun but the moon.

“I can see clearly all the way past the glass. What the hell happened to us?”

We moved slowly towards the forest and just as we were giving up hope of ever feeling warm again, we were blinded by a bright light and the loud noises of helicopters. Someone over a loud speaker yelled, “This is the RCMP please lay down flat on the floor and don’t make any sudden moves.” We all swore, some of us in surprise and others in fear. Mel’s dad was native and both of them had been harassed by the cops more then they should. RCMP were always called in during a protest to protect land or anything else to do with the local Reserves. We had all been arrested for loitering in a provincial park once while camping; that wasn’t fun.

We started to move but I guess we hadn’t moved fast enough, ’cause I heard gunfire. I was looking at Jane and she turned bright white before completely disappearing. I threw up my arms and bright green lightning formed a dome around us that the bullets just bounced off of.

“How are you doing that?” asked James who was starting to hyperventilate again. “We have to get out of here.”

Whatever I was doing to create the protective dome felt like running at top speed. I tried to breathe like they’d taught us in gym class, not that I paid much attention, but I tried. Unfortunately, the effort was too much and I fell down gasping. “Sorry.”

“We’re not dead, you did great.” Mel put her hand on my shoulder. She was looking fuzzy like a chalk drawing. I assumed I was about to pass out.

“Lay down on the ground and no one gets hurt,” the loudspeakers shouted at us.

A small flash of light appeared beside us and Jane grabbed our hands. “This is going to hurt. Sorry.”

Bright white light and searing pain blocked everything out for me. When it was over I felt like every nerve had been poked with a very sharp stick.

I looked around at the dusty old furniture and asked, “Where are we?” 

Read Chapter 2

While you wait for the next chapter, check out the previous serial stories: