On Saturday (the 8th of November) we opened a time capsule that I had made with your Gramma. We made it in 1996 which means we opened it 29 years after it was made.
Heavily taped box with the words Open Only in 2016 written on it.Bottom of a heavily taped box with the words By order of Gramma Yo 1996.Dragon and Pegasus looking at all the toys that were in the time capsule.
I was really hoping for a letter from Gramma in there but it was cool to see all the toys.
If I’m being honest, I think it might have been her way of making me get rid of toys and then I went overboard.
You were both super excited to open it but meh about the toys. You found the trolls silly and each of you were excited for something different. Pegasus was really into the transforming dinosaurs and Dragon was excited for the doll whose hair grows and the harmonica. (Oh boy…)
It was a nice time. We had Grannie there and Uncle Dan on the computer since he was sick.
I think having the box was nicer than opening it. Almost like letting her go. I’ll never fully let her go but this part is over.
I think maybe we should make a time capsule with different things in it. Something we could open in 25 years, hopefully together. I’ll have to think about it.
This has been a big year for you. I’m both proud and amazed at everything you’ve accomplished.
This year you’ve:
Gone to in-person school
Learned to speak and understand French
Developed a love for drawing
Made lots of friends
Continued to read voraciously
Your fifth year started with a nice calm summer and a big trip to Disneyland. We went with Grannie, Grand-dad, and Aunt Lindsay. We stayed in a house we rented that had a pac man arcade game, a massive pool, and enough room for everyone to be comfortable for a couple weeks. You loved the Spider-Man ride and Soarin’.
You started out the school year hating everything about it. Slowly you grew to love your teacher and some of the other kids. You even had an “arch-nemesis” who would run up to you and push you. You treated it like a nuisance and not bullying and you promised to tell the teacher.
There were a few incidents of you bringing toys home when you weren’t supposed to. We think you didn’t realize that the teacher paid for the toys. Once we explained it, you just kept bringing home things you found in the sandbox. (Like a GPS tracker… What?)
You also had a spat of not washing your hands because you wanted to stay home sick. You felt pretty bad when you realized that it got the rest of the family sick too. I wasn’t impressed but I understood the logic.
The biggest thing you seem to not like about school is that you say you’re bored. Your reading is advanced in both languages, as is your math, and your logic. I understand. Hopefully you’ll feel more challenged in grade one.
I love watching your mind work. You’re brilliant and I have a lot of trouble following how you’re thinking. Hopefully, I’ll get better at it and you’ll get better at explaining.
I can almost see the person you’re going to become and I’m proud of him. Don’t hurry too fast, I’m still loving the snuggly, loving, and stubborn kid you are right now.
Six is a big year. You’ll do great. Hopefully we can help you thrive and guide you to good decisions.
I’m sure that by the point you’re reading these, you have already figured out that we had some… different… traditions.
When I you were sick in December 2023 (half a dozen ear infections between you on top of RSV) and I was recovering from RSV, Mum played an escape room game on the TV. Since, whenever you’re sick, we tend to play one. Especially if Mum is sick, or has a broken foot like now.
This past week we all played, (I played from a distance since I was working) a game called Enigmatis. It’s a puzzle and hidden object game with a storyline. We played all three and will probably play more from the same company, Artifex Mundi.
I really enjoy watching you guess the stories, figure out the puzzles, and find the hidden objects. The game was a little scarier than I would have wanted, but you loved it.
It’s nice to relax and do something together when a large portion of us aren’t feeling well.
I know someday you’ll probably find this “cringe” but I’m going to enjoy as long as I can.
One of my favourite parts of being your father is watching your minds develop. You have such different and amazing ideas. It’s also fascinating to see the difference.
Dragon, you’re now old enough that you’re starting to put structure to your thoughts. When we wrote Assassins, you randomly said, “The bad guy should be called The Beast.” It was random and we made it work. Yesterday, I was talking about a story I wrote involving a snowman and you gave me story ideas, a coherent concept, and it was something I’ve never seen or thought of. I’m being vague because I’m going to use it in a future TTRPG session. It’s impressive to see your mind work.
Pegasus, you’re still in the phase of being completely random. I’m sure you’re tired of me asking for explanations but I want to understand. I want to know your process because it’s both fascinating and impressive. You have a mind that grasps a concept, takes it in, and then moves on so fast that I can’t always follow. I can’t wait until I can follow you or you know how to explain.
You both have such amazing and unfettered imaginations. I hope that’s something you’ll continue to nurture. I’ll do what I can to help you as long as I can.
Thank you for the privilege of watching you learn, grow, and imagine. The world is all kinds of sad right now and you give me hope.
It’s been a big summer. We went on a trip to California and did all kinds of fun things.
Now summer is ending and you start school this week. It’ll be your first year of in-person after a year of Pegasus Flight School. I’m excited for you to get out there, make some friends, and learn more.
Not that you’ve been slacking; your reading is great (especially since you mostly taught yourself), your math is great, and if you were going into English school, I’d expect you to be bored. With you going into French school, I think you’ll have lots to learn between the language and socializing with kids your own age.
For the latter, I hope the pandemic and our keeping you home won’t have caused any socialization issues. I wouldn’t have changed anything, but I worry.
You are headstrong and and really clever; a combination that could be great or make your life harder.
Lately you have been really enjoying saying no. Hopefully that won’t transfer to school.
You’re so much like me but you also keep a lot inside. I hope you have a wonderful year, and selfishly, that you still want to snuggle.
I’m sorry I forgot to write you a birthday letter last year. It was a hard time for me but that’s not an excuse.
You’ve had quite an exciting few years. You’ve grown so much in every way.
You’re starting to know your letters really well. You love sitting on someone’s lap and telling them what the letters on their shirts are.
You know your alphabet and can sing it in a very heavy metal style… you do this a lot.
You’re excellent at climbing.
You have a great ear for music.
You still give the best hugs and snuggles.
You’ve made the past few years infinitely better. Your kindness, empathy, and joy are always welcomed.
Don’t get me wrong, you’re still stubborn and have a hard time listening when you don’t want to. Our biggest hurdle right now is potty training. You really don’t want to do that… sigh.
This year you’ll be doing home schooling with mum. I think you’ll love that, but the schedule might be hard on you after so many years of doing whatever you want. I won’t miss you screaming, “I want to say hi!” while I’m in a meeting, but I will miss watching you play.
I love you little Pegasus. I hope this is a great year for you.
Last time we went, Pegasus had just started walking and Dragon was so tiny.
This week was about Pegasus seeing a real classroom and playing with other kids his age. We also wanted to get Dragon excited for school next year. Dragon, you’ve been in digital school for almost three years and I think you’re stressed at the idea of changing.
People have been telling us that it would be better for the you two to be at school versus digital school.
I’ve been hesitant for a few reasons. First are the memories I have of being in grade school; I didn’t have a great experience and I really don’t want the same for you.
The second is more selfish, I’ll miss you. Right now I get to have lunch with you 3 times a week and hang out after. I also get to hear or be told what you did and I know that’ll change.
Change is inevitable and I know the best thing for Dragon is to go into in person school. I’ve been seeing signs that the screen combined with the sound quality is bothering you. You’re showing some pretty obvious signs of neurodiversity, which would be mitigated by having a teacher next to you and the resources at the school. I’m still worried about your temper and emotional regulation though. You also fidget more than I did at that age, which is saying something.
I’m not as convinced that Pegasus should be going into full day junior kindergarten. You are advanced in your language, math, and letters. Your small motor skills are excellent too. Unfortunately, your social skills are heavily influenced by your sister, so you’re more used to playing with kids rather than parallel play. During the open house, you actually got into a little fight with another kid. They didn’t want you to play with the kitchen and you really wanted to. You used your words, but they only spoke in partial phrases and didn’t. You ended up pushing the child almost twice your size against the wall. You did have fun and you would probably thrive with the right guidance.
Added to the fact that you are stubbornly refusing to fully potty train, I’m not sure it’ll be the best place for you. We definitely need to take you to the park and set up some play dates with other kids though.
All of this is complicated by my fear and stress. I’m trying really hard to not show it though. Covid is becoming a new normal and honestly I hate it. I’m still dealing with side effects, mostly breathing issues, from the first time I got it 3 years ago and I don’t want this for you. I was told that long covid seems to mostly get better with time, but I still worry about you both.
It was great seeing you playing with other people and I love how independent you were. You both checked in with us and wanted to share your joy, but you didn’t need us there.
Once again, things are changing and I don’t like it. I’m going to enjoy the next few months of us all being together as much as I can. I’ll try and store up the snuggles before they’re gone and appreciate the happy sounds before the house is too quiet.
Sunday morning, you and your sister were snuggling. Which apparently is code for wrestling or ultimate fighting, because a few minutes in, you started crying.
Your eye was red and you said it hurt. We couldn’t see anything in it. We tried to flush it out and you said it was okay so we forgot about it.
After breakfast, you burst into tears and said your eye hurt. We flushed it again and put a wet towel on your eye. That seemed to work.
Then every five to ten minutes, you burst into tears and your eye would look red again, so we called the nurse hotline (which is now 811) and the nurse told us to take you to the hospital.
CHEO had an estimated wait time of three and a half hours. Your mum went with you over dinner (about 3 hours) and then we switched. You refused to eat anything but your mum’s mixed nuts. I might have made them sound deliciously forbidden.
When you were called, we were brought to a room and waited less then a minute for the doctor. She was awesome; she put some numbing agent in your eye and then some orange dye that showed her where you were hurt. The dye went into the tear and it glowed orange. Really cool to see. Well… from my angle anyway.
Altogether, it was about 5 hours at CHEO, which is pretty good in my opinion.
Pegasus with the remnants of the orange dye on his eye.
You have a small tear in your cornea (the coloured part of your eye) but it’s not close to your pupil and it should heal quickly. We have some REALLY FUN (no not really) antibiotic cream to put in your eye every night for 5-7 nights.
You were really good. It’s certainly not the first place I wanted to take you after your vaccinations.
I’m really glad it wasn’t worse and I hope you heal quickly. Listening to your pitiful moans as you fell asleep tonight was hearbreaking.
I am so thankful for your Grand-dad; he drove us there and back three times across town. We are very lucky to have your grandparents to help out and that they’re so awesome.
You were assigned male at birth, well actually, at ultrasound.
You’re still discovering what you like and who you are. Somedays peanut butter sandwiches are “disgusting” and other days they’re the best thing in the world.
There are some things that you are firm on for now; you love Doctor Who, blueberries, your sister, Encanto, and dresses.
A few weeks ago, you sat and had a serious conversation with your mum. You asked if you could wear a dress for your birthday. One of the pretty dresses that Grannie made.
I’m embarrassed to say that my first instinct was to say no. Your mum reacted quicker than I did and said yes with only a little hesitation. I was a little worried at first about how people would react, how family might react, but a few days later we got a dress from Grannie (who was overjoyed someone else would get to wear the dresses that she worked so hard on.)
You’ve worn a few dresses now and honestly, it doesn’t feel weird. I’m glad you get the chance to wear pretty things. It’s something I remember wanting to do when I was young, but felt too embarrassed to ask.
I asked you tonight if you thought you were a boy or a girl and you answered, “Neither. I’m Pegasus.” (Okay, you said your name, not Pegasus.) I asked if you wanted me to use he, she, or they and you repeated, “I’m just Pegasus.” So that was fine. We’ll revisit that another time.
I’m not sure if you’ll grow up wanting to wear dresses, realize your trans, or just not care and do what you want. We’ll support you no matter what.
I really hope the world you grow up in gets better. A lot of us are trying, but even the most progressive among us have to step back and think about what we’re doing. It’s also important to listen to those that have come before.
No matter what you decide, you’re our child and we love you,
Your trying Papa. (Yes, yes, in both senses of the word trying.)
A few months ago, you had shellfish in pasta sauce. You had a really bad night. From that and another incident, we have been assuming that you have an intolerance. (No breathing issues or hives, just puking and upset stomach.) We’ll have to get you tested post Covid, but until then, we’ve been trying to avoid it.
Unfortunately, we gave you some food a two weeks ago that had been cooked with shrimp. You didn’t puke, but you had really bad diarrhea. I was tired and very surprised and I didn’t react great. I had to bring you to the other bathroom and clean you there, a quick shower seemed the right idea, but I think it might have been a little traumatizing for you.
Unrelated but adorable picture of Pegasus sleeping.
So baths haven’t been much fun lately. You seem terrified you’ll poop in the tub unless you’ve already pooped. Even then, you don’t seem to enjoy and play the way you did before the incident. I’m sorry I didn’t handle it well and I hope I haven’t ruined baths for you.
This weekend, you watched Dragon’s bath and she had a great time, so hopefully that will help. I’ll probably try a bath with both of you together and see how that goes.
I hope we can go back to you loving the water. It’s hard to bathe you when you don’t want to be.
