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Alive, mostly!

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Hello World,

I’m still alive. Mostly. Well Kinda…

I’m fighting a cold or flu or something. I’ll spare you the gory details.

I spent yesterday in a weird nauseated fog and hibernated. Today I felt mildly better and slept in just to make sure.

The one thing weighing on me is that I didn’t write yesterday. I’m always extra stressed about writing during the first third of a novel. It feels like if I stop then I’ll never get started again.

With than I’ll stop procrastinating and go try to write.

Wish me luck.

Attached below is my version of the Venusian Lullaby sung by the 3rd Doctor. It’ll be the credits song for my eventual web show.

http://ericdesmarais.tumblr.com/post/73302200316/my-interpretation-of-the-venusian-lullaby-sung-by

Thanks for reading and see you later my invisible friends.

Éric

Microphones, Desk toys, and Vlogs.

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This is a picture of the stuff on my desk. It’s only missing The Mummy mug that my brother got me from MGM.

Agent P. Pez, Tardis USB hub, Uncle John's daily calendar, Two Portal Turrets, Princess Cadence, Crystal Applejack, and K9 Mark 2.
Agent P. Pez, Tardis USB hub, Uncle John’s daily calendar, Two Portal Turrets, Princess Cadence, Crystal Applejack, and K9 Mark 2.

Last night I received my microphone. I now have everything I need to start my vlog. I was so excited about the microphone that I just tossed and turned until 1am. Leaving me exhausted.

It’s kinda silly that I’m so excited. I mean I barely have a concept. I don’t even have a channel name yet. I was thinking JenEric Productions. If anything I should be panicking. And there I go. Ack. I have no clue what to talk about other than just ranting on random subjects that interest me.

Does anyone have any suggestions on what topics I should talk about?

Evil is Stupid

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Taken from Demotivational Posters: http://www.demotivationalposters.org/now-you-see-demotivational-posters-71725.html
Taken from Demotivational Posters

Why do we accept that villains are stupid? Not that they make stupid mistakes but that they are stupid. Think of a villain… I’ll wait… Ok do you have one? Great!

Are they stupid? Not unintelligent. All Bond villains are brilliant but soooo stupid. “I will destroy the world.” Chances are you’ve thought of a dumb villain and chances are it doesn’t bother you that they’re dumb.

It’s like there are four classes of villains, anti-villains, comic, stupid, and scary. Some villains are just there to make you laugh and some are there just to give the protagonist something to achieve.

Most of what Loki does in Avengers and Thor seems absolutely dumb. Did he really think he could get away with it? I mean really? No of course he didn’t. I don’t think Loki is a villain any more than I think Dexter is a hero. Loki is an Anti-Villain. He wants to be a bad guy and he wants it bad but at heart he’s really a big softy.

The comic villains are the ones that are so over-the-top that they are barely even considered villains. Darth Helmet from Spaceballs or Amilyn (Paul Reuben) from the Buffy movie.

The stupid villains are everywhere. Sometimes it’s just bad writing. Benedict CumberKHAAAAN from the latest Star Trek was a super-genius but apparently didn’t understand how to work a scanner. (Armed torpedoes beamed on his ship and he didn’t know?) STUPID!

I’m not against villains having flaws. Sauron, from Lord of the Rings, loses simply because he’s too arrogant to think anyone would destroy the ring. Other than that he was a scary level of brilliant. Benedict CumberSmaug, from the latest Hobbit, is so prideful that he doesn’t believe anyone can touch him. Pride and Arrogance are the most common fault in villains and Heroes.

Now try to think of a villain that truly terrified you. In horror movies, we have Micheal Myers, from Halloween, and Jason, from Friday the 13th, all they want is to kill. No elaborate plans just carnage. That’s scary! The audience knows what the villain want, understands why they want it, and knows they’ll get it.

Disney has some scary villains. Gaston is a true villain. He pretends to be dumb but plans and schemes. He’s a bigot, murderer, and hates progress. Worst of all, he’s charmed everyone around him to make them think he’s the Hero. Now that’s scary.

Or how about Ursula, or Cruella De Vil? They make a few mistakes but overall they were good at what they did and they did it ruthlessly.

I love television but it’s the worst offender when it comes to having stupid villains. Every recurring bad guy in Bones starts out as scary and then they have to make them stupid at the last minute. Castle did it for a few villains. Whedon seems to avoid this by making a lot of Anti-Villains. Warehouse 13, Sanctuary, Eureka, and to a lesser degree Stargate all had this problem.

Back to my original question: Why?

Why do we, as an audience, allow stupid villains?

Is there a villain that scared you with how smart they were?

Until later,

Eric

P.S. Evil Overlord list!

The Past was like Totally Better

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Nostalgia: Sentimental longing for or regretful memory of a period of the past, esp. one in an individual’s own lifetime; (also) sentimental imagining or evocation of a period of the past. – Oxford English Dictionary

Someday we’ll look back on today and think how wonderful the world was and how horrible it has become. I can say that without exaggeration because it’s already happened. It’s happening right now. (I’m looking at you!)

I think it’s part of human nature that we idolize a time where we think we were happier, where life was simpler, where all the horrible things had yet to happen. We latch onto the horrible things in our lives now and glorify the good things of the past.

It’s not that we forget the bad things but their bite lessens with time. We can see it with less bias. There are two quotes that come to mind and I’ll say upfront that I disagree with Doctor Who.

“Great men are forged in fire, it is the privilege of lesser men to light the flame” – 50th anniversary of Doctor Who

“Saruman believes it is only great power that can hold evil in check, but that is not what I have found. I’ve found it is the small everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keep the darkness at bay… small acts of kindness, and love.” – Gandalf, The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

These two quotes define our cultures beliefs on life. Fire, turmoil, battle, horror, etcetera are what creates great people. It is what makes exciting stories but not people. We don’t define ourselves by our hardships but our successes. When we don’t, we run into trouble.

Back to nostalgia… Nostalgia is our way of whitewashing our past and making sure we mostly remember the good stuff. It’s not that we want to forget the bad but that we want to concentrate on the good. We also tend to make a big deal about stuff that we won’t find important in the future.

A good example for me is writing. When I’m writing I feel stressed to be writing, but excited. I also feel ridiculously frustrated when I first edit. When all is said and done and I have an “almost” finished book (I say almost because my mind will never let me finish. I can always do more.) I feel amazing and only remember the excitement and elation of writing.

In some cases nostalgia is right but in a lot of cases it’s not. The world isn’t worse off than it was twenty years ago. The nineties wasn’t a better time. The internet and technology isn’t leading us to a horrible brain melting doom.

Nostalgia is great, especially with a drink and an old friend, but next time you find yourself saying, “When I was a kid…” stop and try to think of the good things now.

We live in a time of wonder and excitement.

If you need proof:  At the begining of 2014 Biofabrication isn’t Science Fiction.

See you in the New Year my Imaginary Friends!

Éric

Time and perception = Time Travel

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The subjectivity of time fascinates me. It’s kind of like time travel and you know how I feel about time travel (I love it).

A good example of how mind boggling this concept is, think about the bus. Let’s say, 2 people take the bus at the same time and get off at the same time. The trip lasts 35 minutes. Person 1 is a bus-reader, like me, and sits down to read a good book. Person 2 suffers from motion sickness and doesn’t own a music player.

Person 1 fought dragons or whatever they’re into reading, while Person 2 fought with nausea. They both experienced things but Person 1 would say that they’ve experience more while Person 2 would say they didn’t experience anything.

As for time, Person 1 barely noticed the trip. Maybe they even got frustrated that it didn’t last a few pages extra. Person 2 noticed every excruciating moment.

If we were going to do this in pseudo-scientific math stuff:

Person 1: Time Noticed < Real Time < Experience

Person 2: Experience < Real Time < Time Noticed

Isn’t that cool?

How a character experiences time is extremely important and is rarely exploited by authors. The reason is simple, playing with character subjectivity, is difficult. Not to mention the fact that the human mind will try to compensate while reading.

Does anyone have examples of an author doing this well?

Anniversaries

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Yesterday I celebrated the 8th year of dating my wife and 4.5 years of marriage.

The older I get the harder I find it to have perspective on the quantity of time I’ve spent. 8 years doesn’t feel that long, and then I realize that it’s a quarter of my life. I have spent over a quarter of my life with my wife. Wow.

We’re not big on hullabaloo for our anniversaries. For our wedding anniversaries we either relax at home or recreate our first date. Last night we went to a restaurant and the “Midnight” premier of The Hobbit. Thankfully it’s not really at midnight but 10pm.

Relationships are hard! All of them are, not just romantic ones. It’s easy to get swept up in the excitement of a new friendship but it’s harder to upkeep it in the long run.

A romantic relationship has so many extra stigma’s and insecurities that they are extra hard.

Like so many other things in my life, I didn’t know what I was doing when I met my wife. I still don’t, but I do know enough to be thankful. I don’t just have a wife. I have a friend, and a partner.

Anniversaries should be about enjoying each other and appreciating what you have. Love you Sweetie!

Just Watch Me

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It’s the holiday season. For some, that means stress piled on top of stress. For me this year it means I’m ignoring the stress and cuddling up with the good feelings. (And I haven’t even bought my yearly Irish Cream. I swear.) There’s just something so hopeful about this time of year.

Resolutions

Someone once told me to make New Year’s resolutions that you know you can accomplish. Let me give you advice my wonderful Imaginary Friends. Make New Year’s resolutions that you can accomplish, that you can fail, and that you want to accomplish.

I could easily say that this year I’ll lose 30 pounds. It’s possible, I could easily fail, but I don’t really care enough. I could say that I will breathe regularly. It’s possible, and I certainly want to but I can’t really fail. So follow the three guidelines and you’ll have nice, useful, and attainable goals.

Last year I resolved to do three things, Read more, Write regularly, and Post more on this blog. Two out of three ain’t bad right? I managed a novel and 4 short stories. Read 31 books and I’m on 32. I unfortunately didn’t update much. Sorry.

This year I resolve to do three things again, Write regularly (500 Words a Day of novels or stories), Continue Reading as much (30+ might be tiny compared to my wife who reads that in 3 months), improve my internet presence (See next).

Projects

I have multiple projects in the works, some of which have been in the works for way to long. I’m hoping to get them started and some of them finished this year. Others might take a few years but I’ll get there.

FADDS (Four Attribute Dual Dodecahedron System)

I’ve been working on the rules for FADDS for going on 3 years now. I have most of them worked out and I’m hoping to have a downloadable PDF and hyperlinked SRD finished by the end of 2014. From there I’d like to work on beta testing at Cons and maybe running a kickstarter for the basic rules book.

Elizabeth Investigates (or the Baker City Adventures)

I’m going to be taking a break from writing this series. As much as I love the characters and setting, it’s time to diversify my available products. In other words I’d like another book to shop around. I am waiting to hear from a few publishers about the first book. If they decline it I’ll look into self-publishing. (See previous post for incoherent ramblings.)

Project Kitchen Sink

When I was in high school, one of my favourite books was the Martian Chronicles by Ray Bradbury. I loved it for the structure. It’s effectively a series of short stories that work themselves into a larger narrative.

Lately I’ve been enjoying George R.R. Martin’s multi-character style, where he jumps from one character to another filling in their side of the story. I did this in my latest novel and my beta readers have said they enjoyed it.

Project Kitchen Sink is a going to be a Fantasy novel riddled with elements of science fiction, mystery, and adventure. It’s going to jump from one protagonist to the other in an over-arching plot with multiverse destroying consequences. I want it to be character driven with multiple different styles. I’m aiming for it to be a standalone novel that is roughly 100,000 words. I have 5 characters stories plotted out.

The Dying World

This is a story and world I’ve been working on for about half a year now and I’m hoping to turn it into a generic roleplaying game adventure. It would be a large fantasy/sci-fi adventure that is compatible with any roleplaying system.

This is a ridiculously ambitious project and I might not get started until summer. Before I submit/publish it, I’ll have to run it with at least 1 group.

The basic story will be laid out in a future post.

Youtube

Last year I became obsessed with some youtubers and decided that if I ever get the right equipment, I’d start my own show. I’d like it to take on several formats and post once a month to start and maybe every week when I get good at it.

The formats would include but not be limited to:

  • How Hard Could it be to Cook _____ (Where I cook something I’ve never tried before.)
  • The Canadian Conspiracy Nut (The fictional story of a conspiracy nut who accidently got it right.)
  • Basic Vlog (Where I can rant and talk about stuff.)

Websites

I want to create a website that combines all my online stuff and my wife’s and organizes it coherently.

The main page would be JenEric Designs and that would integrate:

And add:

  • A Youtube Channel,
  • A Store for JenEric Designs,
  • And Forums

The idea would be to have some sort of content being published at least 4-5 times a week.

In Conclusion, We’re Just Starting.

That looks like a lot more than I expected but I look forward to it. I hope this hasn’t been too long and rambling.

I also hope that the followers (or what I call My Imaginary Friends) will follow and grow as the projects get realized.

That’s it for now. Try and enjoy the season and all the joy that it brings.

Waiting, Dreaming, and Going Crazy

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Waiting

There are times when I wonder if I have what it takes to be an author. Those times are usually when I’m waiting on a reply to a query or submission. It feels like half of being an author is writing queries and waiting for replies or deadlines to expire.

I try my best to push the idea to the back of my head and work on the next project. (I’m currently working on 3 short stories, one which might turn into a book in the New Year.) I still feel terribly anxious.

I love the act of writing, and I’m even getting warmed up to the idea of editing, but the waiting is hard. Like harder than waiting for the next Jim Butcher or Tamora Pierce book hard.

Thinking of Self-Publishing

Last night I was thinking of the differences between a small press and a self-published author. I came up with three major differences; Contacts, Experience, and Cash flow.

According to Ray Higdon marketing tactics, the most important seems to be Contacts. Finding a printer, editor, graphic artist, etc isn’t easy but once you have a good one life becomes simpler. Not only that but having the right contacts means that you know who to talk to for the distribution and marketing of the books. Experience adds the right way of doing things and how to do them in a cost effective way.

As for cash flow, it’s the least important. Book publishing isn’t easy or ridiculously profitable. Let’s say you have the greatest printing press deal and your book cost $6 per book to publish but you need to buy 500. That’s just paper add in editing (story and copy), cover design, layout, employees, shipping, etc. You’re talking roughly 4000-5000 for the first print run of a small book. That doesn’t count storage, advertising, or business costs.

I only know what I’ve researched so I could be wrong, but it looks to me like the first print run of a book is lucky to make 10%-20% profit. We’re talking $1-$3 per book or $500-$1500 profit. Not counting the damaged books, free copies, discounts, etc. The next print run will make significantly more but you have to sell at least 500 books for that.

You have to love books in order to want to publish.

An Idea so Stupid, it Might Work

This has me thinking. Is there such a thing as a book cooperative? The idea would be to get a group of authors, who would have self-published anyway, banding together and pooling their contacts, experience, and money. All to make the whole printing process easier and more cost effective.

It would be a profit and cost sharing partnership. Each author would be an equal partner and they would each get a vote on the books that are published.

In order to make it profitable, we’d have to make a distribution deal, and maybe apply for grants.

Most importantly each author would have to produce a book every year or two to keep the production regular and dependable.

Maybe I’m Crazy

I desperately wish I had better knowledge of publishing, business, law, and funding.

This could be a terrible idea or a great one. I firmly believe that it would succeed or fail depending on the quality of the work. I’m fairly confident in my own writing (most of the time) and I know there are some fantastic authors out there that would be great.

I’ll have to think about it and do more research, maybe talk to someone who knows more than I do. (So anyone really.)

What do you think? Does it make sense? Is it crazy?

One a Completely Different Note

Come see my wife and me, at PopExpo this weekend in Ottawa. We’ll be sharing a table with the amazing S.M. Carriere

I’ve done things I never thought I’d do…

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Hello my Imaginary Friends,

Nice and dramatic title. It refers to book launches. I’ve been to two this year. Sad naïve me from a year ago didn’t even know they existed. I though launch parties were for movies or businesses.

If you don’t know what a launch party is, it’s simply a way to celebrate the release of a book. The author and everyone involved have worked hard for years and want to celebrate before they get back to repeating the same hard work.

The good thing about a book launch is you get to meet the author, get the book signed by them, and hear them read from the book. The bad thing, it’s usually in a noisy bar and the rest of the world doesn’t realize you’re trying to listen to a reading. Totally worth it.

My Wife…

Have a refered to her in the blog before? Maybe. I’m too lazy to go look. Maybe I should give her a pet name or something. Wifey? The Wife? Jen? The Alpha Reader? Spouse? Hummm. Darn it. Now I’ve not spent so much time writing and thinking of the word Wife. That it looks wrong. Ok Wife it is.

My Wife and I have turned these events into date nights. Which is awesome. Hopefully she agrees.

The Launch party I went to was for The Summer Bird By S.M. Carrière.

It was at the Royal Oak on Laurier and if you’ve ever been to a British style pub in Ottawa you know what it looked like. White stone like walls that are made from something accented with dark brown wooden beams and decorated with bilingual world war two posters and one big screen tv.

Not what my tired mind expected for a fantasy book launch. Don’t get me wrong the book launch was awesome. We talked with great people, a wonderful meal, heard a fantastic reading, and bought a great book.

When I went to sleep that night I relived the book launch in a much more medieval fantasy way… My wife and I arrived at the Queen’s longhouse in advance of the given time. We waited on the comfortable chairs near the crackling fire. The stone room wasn’t large. It had two long tables and a small dais for the Queen’s throne.

We didn’t wait long. The Elven Queen S.M. and her Knight Protector J The Amazing Flatmate, arrived and greeted us. As they made sure that everything was prepared and ready for the festivities, several other guests arrived. There was the Minstrel T. of the Brown Coat and Sir B a Knight Champion, along with a dozen or so guests. As an aspiring monarch myself, it was nice to see the level of enthusiasm everyone had for the Queen and her work.

The evening passed quickly, the food and drink was abundant and the Queen never actually sat on her throne, choosing instead to sit with her guests. Spending time at each table.

When the meal was cleared, the Queen stood to thank everyone and to read of her work. (Since it was close to Halloween she read chapter 13.) She somehow found the perfect lighting to stand under (I’m not exaggerating S.M. found the most regal lighting possible.) As she read the hall became quiet. Everyone was captivated by her words. The only sounds that could be heard were her reading and the uncultured brutes in the other hall.

The hall burst into applause when she had finished. With the speech finished, my wife and I decided to head out. The Queen signed our book and thank us. We said goodbye to our new noble friends and headed home.

Probably from now on my mind will use this version as the truth. So if I ask where S.M. had such an awesome themed book launch just roll your eyes and leave me to my delusions.

We were at the bus stop before we realized that we hadn’t paid for dinner. I felt so horribly guilty that I ran all the way back. The waitress just shrugged and said it happened often. I still feel horrible about it. I might have to rethink my plans of becoming a master criminal.

If you want an ebook version of the Summer Bird, it’s available on all the major sites. If you want a hardcopy you’ll be able to buy one at Pop Expo in December. Get one it’s worth it. I’ve only had one chapter read to me and I whole heartedly encourage you to read it.

Until we meet again,

Éric