I wrote a song? Maybe…

Hello My Imaginary Friends,

No, don’t worry, it’s not Guitar Lesson Tuesday, it’s Friday.

In our current work in progress, we needed the villain to get upset and reveal themselves. I decided, foolishly, that the best way to do that was a song of hope. I figured the character would have learned a Cataclysm Day song that would work. Cataclysm Day is the midwinter festival of Everdome, a cross between Yule and Remembrance Day.

So of course, I decided to try writing a song.

I sat down to write it and froze. I did write a bunch of lines, counting the syllables and everything. The whole process gave me flashbacks to trying to write poetry in high school and university. I wrote a sonnet for high school French from the point of view of a stapler that ran out of staples. Yeah, I was always this weird.

Anyway, I got inspiration songs and chose chords and everything, but once I sat down, nothing really worked. I procrastinated, avoided, and stressed. I had hoped the song would be ready when I got to that part of the story. It wasn’t.

Last night, I got to the part in the book that needed the song and said fuck it. I just wrote it out, not caring about syllables, rhythm, or musicality. I just needed words and rhymes.

It turned out pretty good. It’ll need to be checked for line length and put to music, but I think I can handle that. I honestly have no idea what I’m doing, and in the future I think I’ll leave the songwriting to Jen.

Happy Friday.

Stay safe and be kind,

Éric

Uncharted – JenEric Movie Review

How This Works – Read Other Reviews

Hello Cinephiles,

Today we’re talking about the 2022 film Uncharted.

Story

The story isn’t all that original and is best when they’re doing the treasure hunting parts.

Score: 0.5

Characters

Every character is backstabbing and tragic. It’s a little tired by the end, especially when they try to make them seem less bad. Nathan Drake is likeable because he’s the main character and Tom Holland is a sweetheart. The rest are kinda meh.

Score: 0.5

Dialogue

Fun quips, silly dialogue, and archeological techno-babble is all fun, but other than Drake, no one seemed to have any emotions.

Score: 0.5

Visual and Music

It’s a little too obvious that the movie was built around the visuals and the fight scenes. It’s gorgeous and beautiful to look at.

The music is fantastic and has wonderful references to the game.

Score: 1

Fun

The treasure hunting was fantastic, but the character moments mostly fell flat. It frustrated me that no one corrected the “found gold” narrative when it was obviously gold belonging to the natives.

Score: 1

Overall

A visual spectacle with little to no plot that is completely carried by the charisma of Tom Holland. The treasure hunt is exciting and the puzzels interesting. It’s fun with great action scenes, but not super memorable.

Final Score: 3.5 out of 5

Guitar Lessons Part 42

Mar 5: It’s my birthday!

I turned 37 today! I didn’t feel old, and then my arm started to hurt during my practice time.

I’m falling apart.

I played mountain king first. I feel like I’m so close to getting it.

I played my songs. Tried to play Get to Know You with the pick. It loses some of its wild abandon, the first time ever playing it, enthusiasm when played with the pick. So I think I’ll keep playing it without.

I didn’t bang my fingers against the strings at all today. I feel like I’m more consistent with the rhythms in both of my other songs, which is nice.

I fumbled the theme every time I tried it, until my fingers hurt too much to continue. I’m a little frustrated with that.

Mar 6: Uke too

It has been a very long time since I picked up a ukulele. So when my fingers and arm hurt after playing my regular practice today, but I still wanted to play some other songs, I grabbed the tenor uke and started playing.

I was surprised at how quickly the chords came back to me. That was really nice.

I played my songs and the theme. I only made one mistake each time I tried the theme. I’m encouraged by this. Hopefully I can record it over March Break.

Mar 7: Anxious

I played super well today. I only made minimal mistakes on my songs. It’s getting to the point where I feel like I could record, and that’s making me anxious.

On top of that, I made mistakes every time I attempted the theme. That, I need to record soon so my publisher can make the book trailer.

Meep

Mar 8: Bleh

I’m not feeling great today. I blame lack of sleep.

My voice was cracking when I was singing the wedding song. I blame allergies.

I practiced the theme several times. I didn’t make mistakes after the first time and I didn’t notice myself pausing between sections. So I’m happy with my practice session today if only because of that.

Mar 9: Blast

My right thumbnail ripped yesterday. Not painfully or anything, just needed to be cut shorter than I usually do.

Which I didn’t realize until I tried to play today. I use that nail for finger-picking.

Needless to say, I will not be recording the theme until that nail grows back. I did very well in my practice though. I’m encouraged.

My husband thinks I played Get to Know You slower than usual. I wonder if I did, or if my strumming was off because of the thumbnail being shorter.

Who knows? I didn’t record myself so I can’t listen to it again.

Mar 10: Getting in my head

I think I’m getting in my head too much about this theme.

I messed up on every attempt I tried today. And each time, I got more and more stressed about it, making each successive try worse.

This bodes well. 🙄

I played my songs. Made silly mistakes.

Played all three learning app songs and did well on the first two but made silly mistakes in mountain king.

Bah.

Birth of the Aetherverse – Chapter 5 (Serial Story)


Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12


Chapter 5: Things Go Poorly in Atlantis

“That’s the same gate,” Peaseblossom said, eyes wide in terror. The same gate that had let the horrifying metal soldiers into the Deep Realms.

“It’s not,” Randi said, tilting her head in a very fox-like way. “It will be the same gate, but it’s currently not the same gate. This is it before it was activated.”

Our whispered conversation hadn’t pierced the loudness of my brother and his wife as they marvelled at the gate. “You can go anywhere as long as you have that crystal?” asked Titania. She pointed at a large greenish gem on a pedestal in front of the large gate. The gem was pulsing with power.

“Yes, anywhere that has a gate. We’ve designed the smaller ones using what we learned of the bigger one. We’ve never been able to activate the big one to connect with its original network. We’ve used the crystal with the smaller ones, and we were able to copy the energy as a spell.” I discovered later that they’d found the large gate on Earth and did their best to learn the language.

“Where do you think the bigger one went originally?” Titania asked, obviously finding this amusing.

The leader of the Atlanteans smiled in a way most people do when they explain something to a child and said, “We’re not sure. We believe it can connect to other such gates in completely different universes. You see, we believe that life in the realms started outside our universe.”

“Isn’t that fascinating, Oberon. They think life started elsewhere and came here as refugees. What a quaint notion.” She was playing at being ignorant and it got her a hearty laugh from Oberon.

There was something dangerous in the leader’s eyes. “It is a lot to understand for one such as yourself,” he said it and gestured at the teenager. I shivered again, having temporarily forgotten him in my distraction, but his magic was wrong in the way a forest fire was wrong. All destruction and hunger.

“One such as myself?” The threat in my sister’s tone was clear enough that a few people who’d been following the wagon moved away.

It was the leader’s turn to play at ignorance, although I’m not sure he was playing. “It is well known that the spirit of intellect passes on from the mother to the child leaving her near witless.”

I couldn’t help myself. I laughed. The leader nodded at me and I shook my head.

Before I could say anything, Oberon’s booming voice echoed over the field. “Fool. You’ve just insulted Queen of the Fay Realms, former goddess of the sun and knowledge. She is more clever and has more spirit of intellect than you, in your limited imagination, could conceive of.”  

Titania put her hand on Oberon’s and said, “He doesn’t know what he’s saying.”

The leader proved Oberon right by replying, “I have studied intellect in the greatest universities of Atlantis, Sir. Be assured I know more about it than you or your woman.”

Again I laughed. Oberon looked me in the eyes and I could see his power and anger rising as he said, “You laugh at us, brother?”

“No, I just enjoy a little chaos, and honestly I can’t imagine how he could be more wrong and insulting.” 

Recognition flashed in the leader’s eyes and he sneered, “Oh you. When I first heard there was a Fay living with us I came by to see you, but you were busy discussing philosophy with children in a courtyard. I knew at that point you weren’t worth talking with. I only discuss magic and philosophy with the greatest minds, not a fool who seeks the counsel of children.”

I was so thrown by his disdain for his own people that I wasn’t able to say anything. If I had been able to, I may have saved his life. Instead, Titania spoke, “Children are wise—”

The leader cut her off by saying, “Silence, Woman. The adults are speaking.”

She didn’t yell or even seem to be too angry, she simply snapped her fingers and where the leader had stood was an equal mass of spiders. The spiders proved to have better sense and moved as fast as their legs could take them away from Titania.

Oberon roared in anger and the chariot we were in, along with the poor horse that pulled it, turned into snakes. 

Humans are absolutely fantastic as a race; with the exception of a precious few,, they are born with nothing but cleverness and a near magical ability to adapt to any situation. The people of Atlantis stood in abject terror for a few moments before starting yelling for guards and arming themselves.

Oberon, Titania, and Melchior disappeared. Randi, in the midst of the chaos, asked, “Where did they go?”

“Back to Fay to prepare the army,” Peaseblossom said. “We have maybe an hour before this place and everyone in it dies by Fay hands.”

A man grabbed the green crystal and ran for the large gate. It flew from his hands and the gate activated. I saw the same scene I’d seen before, a long serpent of metal winding its way towards our world. 

Summoning my power, I tossed the gate into the Deep Realms where I knew the past me would deal with it. The crystal tried to phase into the Aether to follow the gate, but I contained it. 

“All these people will die if we don’t do something,” Peaseblossom said.

“Can we help?” a chorus of three voices asked. Before me were three young women. One looked as if she had never seen the sun, she was unnaturally pale and had white-blonde hair. The second was a complete contrast; her skin was black as ebony and she had dark red hair. The last had no hair at all and her skin gleamed like polished gold.

I recognised them as the pieces of the crystal that Merlin had tossed into Everworld. “Charites, Horae, and Moirai. Sisters, what are you doing here?”

Together as one they said, “Everworld banished us. They didn’t believe our truths. Their world is ending and if they don’t fix the magic, it will destroy them all. Their wise men were fools, their gods shadows, and their people too proud. Banished, we found a small realm in need of guidance.”

I wasn’t thinking in riddles at the time and only really half-listened as the Atlanteans had decided to attack us. “Atlantis?” I asked.

They laughed with genuine joy when they said, “No. We discovered Albion. A realm of peace, magic, and story.”

The magic the Atlantaens used was painfully strong, anyone but me or my siblings would have fallen in seconds. As it were, I was getting tired. “Okay. Can you get to the point? I’m a little busy.”

“We shall take all the innocent Atlanteans, with their permission, to Albion. Peaseblossom, would you care to come?”

Peaseblossom said her goodbyes and the Sisters of Albion disappeared with her and all the innocents. Unfortunately, that didn’t include those attacking me and Randi.

“We should get out of here before—” I stopped talking as I saw portals opening and the armies of Fay marching out of them.

Read Chapter 6


While you wait for the next chapter, check out the previous serial stories:


Top 5 Insults that are kinda silly

Hello Thinking People,

What a long decade… Wait, it’s only the third year of this decade? Damn.

One of things that I’ve noticed lately is that there’s a lot of insults flying around on the internet. Not all insults are made equal and sometimes they just completely miss their mark.

Nothing will beat the man who said I was argumentative and headed toward divorce. That was really entertaining.

The following insults have been used on me in the past few years and honestly, they just don’t bite as much as people think.

5. Brainwashed

a forcible indoctrination to induce someone to give up basic political, social, or religious beliefs and attitudes and to accept contrasting regimented ideas

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/brainwash

I hope they used good soap.

This is honestly the closest to being used properly, but yelling at someone on the internet that they just don’t understand because they’ve been braiwashed…. It’s silly. Feels like a teenage tantrum.

4. Radical Leftist / Antifa

a person or group actively opposing fascism

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/antifa

I am unequivocally against fascism.

Somehow this became tangled up as an opposite version of Nazis. Does anyone who uses this as an insult, truly love fascism? I really don’t get it.

The radical right wants to kill people, the radical left wants to kill inequality, hate, and poverty. I don’t see those as equal.

3. Woke / SJW (Social Justice Warrior)

aware of and actively attentive to important facts and issues (especially issues of racial and social justice)

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/woke

There’s a lot of talk about science fiction becoming woke, or woke politics. It’s another way of saying, “Hey, that person there wants social progress.” When someone calls me woke, I want to tell them thank you.

All joking aside, I think being attentive to the inequalities and issues experienced by others is important. We all have our own colonial, racist, and normative baggage to deal with and keeping an open mind is important.

2. Cuck

So this one is a shortform for Cuckold which means. “a man whose wife is unfaithful.” It’s taken the same meaning as beta-male or soy boy. Effectively, it means effiminate and useless man.

It’s a favourite with the incel movement and really just makes me laugh. There’s something delightfully silly about a bunch of whiny men using a word that is so close to cock as an insult.

Beyond the fact that there’s nothing inherently wrong or weak about being effeminate, it really is a borrowed antique word that is near meaningless.

1. Simp

The word used to mean simple, basicly another abelist slur toward mental disabilities. It’s lately evolved into a verb meaning to do too much for a person you like.

The first time I was called this, I had to check urban dictionary (shudder) and just couldn’t believe that being a loving and attentive romantic partner was considered an insult.

I’ve even seen people use gifs of Gomez Adams to say someone is a simp.

I’d gladly be compared to Gomez… A loving father and husband who thinks of others and works towards the betterment of his family.


In all honesty, sometimes these things get to me. Mostly because I have trouble understanding how people can weigh a human life as less important than money, or just not listen to those that are affected.

I’m not perfect and I’m still trying to learn, but I’m fairly sure calling me silly names on the internet won’t help your cause.

Stay safe and be kind,

Éric

Spider-Man: No Way Home – JenEric Movie Review

How This Works – Read Other Reviews

Hello Cinephiles,

Today we’re talking about the 2021 film Spider-Man: No Way Home.

Story

There’s a lot of good and a lot of bad in this one. The hopefulness of Spider-man is challenged, but shown to be worth protecting. Spider-man doesn’t kill his enemies was a theme in the older films, but he also didn’t save them. Saving them in this one helps affirm the joy and hopefulness of this Spider-man. I love the concept.

I hate that they had to, once again, kill a strong female character to move the plot and motivate the hero. It’s old, it was old a long time ago.

Another thing that’s old and really annoying is the forgetting spell. I hated the soft reset of Gamora in Avengers, and I hate it here. It makes everything from the previous movie feel cheap. It feels like they had to have it so that Strange wouldn’t go ask Peter for help in the next movie.

Score: 0.5

Characters

I absolutely loved seeing the two older Spider-men. It made my elder millennial heart happy to see them and see them work through some of their trauma and issues. Felt, oddly, like coming home.

I adored the character development and redemption for the villains. When Alfred Molina’s Doc Ock called Peter, “Dear Boy,” I cheered. I’d forgotten how absolutely brilliant William Defoe was as Norman Osborne.

M.J. and Ned are great characters and I really liked watching them work with Peter. Unfortunately, most of their development and interactions now don’t matter. That pisses me off.

Score: 0.5

Dialogue

This was surprisingly heartfelt and perfectly quippy. Bringing back the Great Power speech was well done. I loved all the in-jokes and all the dialogue between the main trio.

Score: 1

Visuals and Music

Absolutely stunning special effects, camera work, and fight scenes.

The music didn’t just elevate the scenes, it also punched up the nostalgia perfectly.

Score: 1

Fun

I’ve been a fan of the Spider-man movies for twenty-one years and this brought all the feels and brought me back to summer 2001 when I watched the first movie more times than I can count at a discount second run cinema.

The kids liked it mostly (the 2yo got bored during the talky bits) and the rest of the family geeked out with me.

I was ridiculously annoyed at the loss of character interaction and growth due to the memory loss spell.

Score: 0.5

Overall

Lots of hope, thrills, excitement, and nostalgia with a big heap of fun. This is a Spider-man film for those who love Spider-man films. It’s marred by some tiresome tropes and leaves us in a frustrating place for the next one, but overall it’s a lot of fun.

Final Score: 3.5 Stars out of 5

Guitar Lessons Part 41

Feb 27: Decent

I am overall pleased with my practice today. I got two gold stars on the Clair de Lune song in my learning app, but I made silly mistakes in the other two, which frustrates me.

My chords sounded strange in Get to Know You, which was weird, but they were fine for the others. I used the pick again and it went much better today than yesterday.

I also practiced the melody for the theme several times. Each time I made a different mistake, so that was very frustrating. I’ll get better.

Feb 28: That could’ve gone better

I didn’t have much time today, so I skipped the two songs that I already have gold stars on and went straight to mountain king.

Yeah, that could’ve gone better.

I played my songs, but not the French song. I used the pick for all but Get to Know You, because that one is different. It sounds weird with a pick.

I was actually able to control the volume a little bit better today with the pick. That was nice progress. But I feel like I need to get a pick with a better grip. I dropped it twice and it kept slipping around in my fingers.

And, of course, I practiced the Assassins! Accidental Matchmakers theme. It’s coming along. I think I messed up all but once, so once is an improvement.

Mar 1: Fumbling

I played the mountain king song. It went really well until I fumbled a note and then I was off by a beat. Bah.

My songs went well. I dropped the pick halfway through the ballad, so that was kinda hilarious.

I practiced the theme a bunch. I made mistakes on every part. Gah.

Mar 2: Feels good

I attempted the mountain king only today. I almost beat my high score. Only one mistake in the first part. I’m so close to getting a gold star! I’m very proud.

I then played my songs (using the pick) and they went super well. I’m really happy with my progress. I also played the French song.

I then practiced the theme and it… Went well? I didn’t make too many mistakes, if any. I’m very happy with today’s practice session.

Mar 3: Enthusiastic

I played all three learning app songs. I got gold stars on the first part of the mountain king!!!

I played my songs with the pick. They’re coming along nicely. I still don’t like the sound of the pick, but my fingernails appreciate not being filed down lol

And I practiced the theme melody. I’m still hesitating in between the sections, which I need to work on not doing.

Oh, and check out the cuteness of my son singing along with Get to Know You:

Pegasus singing along with me.

He doesn’t know all the words, but he knows enough that I know he’s singing along. He’s very enthusiastic. It’s so cute.

I just noticed that I’m wearing the shirt with the title of the book that this song appears in; Crushing It.

Nice.

Mar 4: Encouraging

I played mountain king. I did not beat my best score, or even get a gold star, but I still feel like I did well.

I played my songs and the French song. They all went well. I didn’t drop the pick today, so yay.

And I practiced the theme. I didn’t make any mistakes either time I did it, but I also can’t look up from the strings yet. Not that I expect to be able to do that, like, ever.

Getting close to being able to record it!

Meep!!

Semi-Coherent Ramblings

Hello My Imaginary Friends,

Last night, between Pegasus waking up several times (it’s been a while since he’s done that), insomnia, stress dream, and a couple of days of really bad allergies; I didn’t sleep well.

I’m a little grumpy today. Mumble mumble mumble. So I apologize for today’s disjointed post and possible incoherence.

Jen and I’s newest work in progess is going well. I love being able to plan and geek out about stuff with her as we write. Even if it means we don’t get to bed at anything related to a reasonable hour. I’m planning on writing a song for it and I’m terrified I’ll screw it up.

I read up on the plot, deaths, and story of the new Doctor Strange movie and I have to say it sounds pretty tedious. I loved WandaVision and from what I’ve read, it undoes a lot of the character progression of Wanda and falls into the “hysterical woman” trope that Marvel comics love so much. It’s a good thing Marvel releases so many movies because there are more and more of them that I don’t like.

I’m just waiting for a large bag of dirt that comes in on Friday and I’ll be able to plant my garden. Every year I say I won’t garden, and every year I do. I love the idea of growing my own food. Unfortunately, I only have a green thumb with the help of a marker.

Shamelessly cute photo of the kids.

Jen and I are prepping two manuscripts for submission and it’s a little stressful, but fun. Both are related to Assassins! Accidental Matchmakers (Pre-orders now open at your local bookstores for September 15th) and that makes it awkward for our publisher. They have to judge the quality, but also have to decide if it’s financially worth publishing a sequel and story collection without having any sales data. You could make their decision easier by pre-ordering it. 🙂

I’m not good at this whole publicity thing. I need to improve my ability to get people interested about my books. They are awesome, but if you don’t read them, how do you know you want to read them? Jen has all sorts of exciting ideas that are great.

I think I’ve rambled enough for today.

Stay safe and be kind,

Éric