Éric has had an eclectic career which ranges from casino dealer to canal boat captain to radio station DJ. Since 2009, he’s worked as a desktop publisher for the federal government. During his off time, he works as a freelance typesetter for various Canadian-based authors and publishers, roasts gourmet flavoured coffee, runs several pen-and-paper role-playing games, writes, and helps run JenEric-Designs.ca (Home of the TravellingTARDIS.com).
He lives in Ottawa, Ontario with his author wife, daughter, and son.
A cute, if formulaic, take on a traditional teen drama. I like the twist of it being Zombies instead of cliques and the obvious parallels to racism and race relations.
The love story is actually cute and avoids a lot of the cringe and creepiness of the genre.
Score: 0.5
Characters
Zed and Addison are chipper, optimistic, and still a little flawed. Despite the majority of the characters being copy-paste tropes, the actors’ story makes sure to give them more depth than you’d expect from this type of movie.
Score: 1
Dialogue
Despite being a little on the nose and cheesy, it’s quite effective at what it does. The messages and banter come through cleanly without too many explanations to bog down the story.
The fourth wall breaking was a little jarring the first time, but worked well overall.
Score: 0.5
Visuals and Music
The cinematography is quite clever and obviously influenced by previous musicals. The choreography is clever and fun.
The music is good and hits all the Disney Musical beats, but is missing a little something to make it amazing.
Score: 0.5
Fun
Singing, dancing, and charming zombies is something that borders the absolute absurd but somehow works. The kids loved it and the rest of us found ourselves bopping to the music.
Score: 1
Overall
A worthy successor to the post millennium Disney musicals. It’s catchy, fun, and ridiculous. If you enjoy musicals or teen movies, you’ll enjoy this one.
Sunday morning, you and your sister were snuggling. Which apparently is code for wrestling or ultimate fighting, because a few minutes in, you started crying.
Your eye was red and you said it hurt. We couldn’t see anything in it. We tried to flush it out and you said it was okay so we forgot about it.
After breakfast, you burst into tears and said your eye hurt. We flushed it again and put a wet towel on your eye. That seemed to work.
Then every five to ten minutes, you burst into tears and your eye would look red again, so we called the nurse hotline (which is now 811) and the nurse told us to take you to the hospital.
CHEO had an estimated wait time of three and a half hours. Your mum went with you over dinner (about 3 hours) and then we switched. You refused to eat anything but your mum’s mixed nuts. I might have made them sound deliciously forbidden.
When you were called, we were brought to a room and waited less then a minute for the doctor. She was awesome; she put some numbing agent in your eye and then some orange dye that showed her where you were hurt. The dye went into the tear and it glowed orange. Really cool to see. Well… from my angle anyway.
Altogether, it was about 5 hours at CHEO, which is pretty good in my opinion.
Pegasus with the remnants of the orange dye on his eye.
You have a small tear in your cornea (the coloured part of your eye) but it’s not close to your pupil and it should heal quickly. We have some REALLY FUN (no not really) antibiotic cream to put in your eye every night for 5-7 nights.
You were really good. It’s certainly not the first place I wanted to take you after your vaccinations.
I’m really glad it wasn’t worse and I hope you heal quickly. Listening to your pitiful moans as you fell asleep tonight was hearbreaking.
I am so thankful for your Grand-dad; he drove us there and back three times across town. We are very lucky to have your grandparents to help out and that they’re so awesome.
You are a rag-tag group of thieves, mercenaries, and cut-throats, and Buddy, Westmeath’s most prominent information dealer, has a job for you. You’ll have to avoid superheroes, monsters, gangs, and angry targets if you’re going to pull off the heist of the millennium.
The adventure should take approximately 1-3 hours, depending on the Party.
Setting
Westmeath, Canada’s fourth largest city, is the tech hub of North America. It’s also one of the most crime-ridden cities, fueled by three prominent gangs and corporate espionage. It is also a place where magic, aliens, and technology meet.
It’s July 2002 and the Party has had a few successful jobs, but now you’re ready for something bigger.
Suggested Backgrounds
The players can be anything they want, but here are some fun choices for their background:
Aetherborn: Beings created with magic and the human imagination. They are copies of sentient people from mythology or pop culture.
Aether Hero: Touched by the forces of entropy, chaos, and magic, the Aether Hero must take an extra point in Luck as one of their special abilities.
Alien: From all over the galaxy, Aliens have innate powers; mostly combat, but a few royals can heal.
Human: Humans are the most adaptable and scary creatures in the universe.
Wizard: Phenomenal cosmic power is at their fingertips, but for some reason it doesn’t work as well in Westmeath.
Starting: The Rivers and Songs Club
Buddy, a twitchy, nondescript man, sits at a table on the third level of the club. He has a job for the group; a client wants a rare art piece being held in an old single-storey house near the river in Oldtown, Westmeath’s oldest neighbourhood. It’s being protected by members of the Andromeda Syndicate gang. The painting is rumoured to be a lost Group of Seven masterpiece.
There are further details. Payment is 1 million. If the Party negotiates, they can double the money. Buddy has a Mind of 3.
The Party must bring the art to a contact, Jenny, who works at Discreet Frills in the Central Westmeath Mall after closing in three days.
If a Party member is an Aetherborn or Wizard, they can be told that Oldtown is a Community of Aetherborn and is extremely tight knit.
If a Party member is an Alien, they can be told that the Andromeda Syndicate gang is an intergalactic crime syndicate that deals in everything stolen, including people.
Preparations
The Party needs to prepare for the heist. They can plan and have access to any tools that were common in 2002. Here are some options for them to get more information.
Hack the house
If one of them is a hacker or computer expert, they can try to hack into the house’s security. The security almost seems sentient. The house has a Mind of 3 to defend itself.
If the Party succeeds by 4 or higher, they can see that someone else has already hacked the system.
Surveillance
The Party can attempt to watch the house for a day and find out what the guard’s rotations are and what sort of security system is at the house.
They must succeed in a check versus the Andromeda Syndicate soldier, or they’ll be seen. If they are seen, they are attacked, and security is doubled.
Divination
Using magic, the Party can surveil without being caught. They must succeed with a 3 or higher and they can get the plans, guards, and security details.
Contacts
The Party can ask their contacts in the military, police, gangs, Aetherborn Community, or others that could be helpful. They need to succeed on a Mind or Luck check of 4 or higher to get any information.
Research
The library, city hall, and other places could have information. The Party can get information through these means with a Mind or Luck check of 4 or higher.
The House
The house is a simple two-bedroom bungalow with a basement. There is a front and a back door. Each door is monitored by a camera, as is the driveway and the woods behind. Only the water and the air aren’t being monitored.
Outside walking the perimeter are 4 AS soldiers.
Living Room
Opponents: 2 AS soldiers (noise will attract reinforcements from the other rooms)
The front door opens into the living room. It’s small with two beat-up couches and only one exit to the kitchen / dining room.
Kitchen / Dining Room
Opponents: 1 AS soldier and a man in black tied to a chair.
The back door opens to the Kitchen / Dining room. It has a second door that leads to the basement, an archway that leads to the living room and a hallway that leads to the rest of the rooms.
If they save the man in black, he introduces himself as the Phantom of Westmeath (a superhero who can control and travel by shadows) and says that he’ll take over from here. He thinks this is a safehouse for the AS and doesn’t know about the painting. A Mind check of 3 will convince him to help you. A failure will cause him to go out and fight the soldiers there.
Bathroom
Opponents: Alien Goo
The first door on the left is a simple bathroom with toilet, sink, and bathtub. The tub is filled with white goo that smells vaguely earthy.
The Goo will not attack unless someone touches it. If it is hurt, it will call telepathically to the AS soldiers.
Bedroom 1
Opponents: None
The first door on the right is a small room with nothing in it. A Mind or Luck check of 4 will let them find a hidden panel in the wall that appears to be a control mechanism for a self-destruct.
Bedroom 2
Opponents: 1 AS soldier
The second door on the right is a larger bedroom filled with surveillance equipment and a few alien stun guns. From this room, the AS soldier can view all the cameras and security features. No cameras in the vault.
Basement
Opponents: 2 AS soldiers walking around the vault.
The basement is one large unfinished room with a metal vault in the middle. The vault takes almost the entire footprint.
The door to the vault is locked with a pictogram-based keypad. A Luck or Mind check of 4 or higher will unlock it. A Body of 4 will allow them to force it.
The Vault
Opponents: Containment Trap and calls all soldiers still alive
The painting is in a rolled tube set on a crystal pedestal in the centre of the vault. The floor is chequered with white and black tiles.
The vault is triple trapped.
Trap 1 is triggered when they step on the black tiles. A check of 4 to identify, check of 2 to avoid once identified. The tiles shock anyone who steps on them and triggers an alarm. Damage is 2 and goes through rubber soles.
Trap 2 is triggered if the party members touch the pedestal. It releases a fireball that fills the vault and triggers an alarm. Check of 4 to identify and disable.
Trap 3 is triggered when the painting is taken off the pedestal. It slams the door shut, removes the air from the vault, and triggers an alarm. Check of 5 to identify and disable.
If not, they must do a Body 6 to keep from being knocked out. The remaining soldiers arrive to stop them after.
Leaving
The Phantom requests that the Party let him take a picture of the painting and then disappears.
The painting
If the Party chooses to look at the painting, they see that it’s an obvious fake. There are ones and zeros around the edge of the painting and more hidden inside the painting itself. Decoding them will show a list of locations.
Researching the locations with a Mind check of 4 will indicate they are archeological digs and possible locations of interest. An alien will recognize that they are crashed ships, a wizard will recognize locations with magical artifacts.
Discreet Frills
The Party must bring the painting to Discreet Frills after the store is closed. Jenny, a tall brunette with a serious face, meets them and trades it for a briefcase of cash. Jenny runs the moment she has the painting.
A Mind or Luck check of 4 will let the Party find the small explosive in the briefcase. If they don’t find it, the explosion only destroys the money.
If they disable the briefcase and there’s time in the session, they could be attacked by AS soldiers as a final fight.
The End?
The Phantom stops them and congratulates them on a job well done and/or gives his condolences on the loss of their pay. He tells them that he might have work for them in the future.
Opponents
AS Soldier
Alien Goo
The Phantom
Health
5
7
6
Defence
5
3
6
Body
3
5
4
Mind
3
1
4
Luck
0
0
2
Abilities
Stun gun 2 Teleport when killed
Bite 1
Shadow weapon 1 Shadows Teleport
Read More about Westmeath in Assassins! Accidental Matchmakers
Kennedy Fairfield just graduated in the class of 2002, and is now trying to find her purpose in life, or at least a job in her field. When she saves Jason Johnson, the leader of a secret Community of supernatural people called Aetherborn, from an attempted assassination, they embark on a whirlwind epic romance and adventure.
For Kennedy and Jason to discover why people are disappearing in time to save her friends, they’ll have to face teleporting assassins, grumpy wizards, gossiping hags, mafia robots, and secret military groups, all in the city of Westmeath, Ontario, which has more secrets than residents.
This one stands on its own the least. It’s more like a mini movie with a tenuous connection to the conclusion. That being said, both halves were excellent.
Score: 0.5
Characters
Reusing actors was clever, both for cost and to make us feel like we were connected to them from the first 2 movies. They all did a great job, despite the mishmash of accents.
Score: 1
Dialogue
This was a mess. Too modern and too archaic all at the same time. The second half was a little better, but leaned too heavily into hammy dialogue.
Score: 0
Visuals and Music
The first half was grey and a little boring (Pilgrim life?) the second half went perfectly with 1994. The sets were great, but it was all a little blah.
The music tied in well with the other two, but didn’t add anything interesting.
Score: 0.5
Fun
This was interesting and I was really happy to finally get the answers, but it felt like two short stories. I think actually splitting it into two movies might have made it feel less rushed.
Score: 0.5
Overall
The last part of the series suffers from needing to tie up story points while struggling to tell its own stories. This one really should have been split into two.
I love doing the holiday calendars, but this year, between my tendonitis, a return to conventions, a return to the office, and my tendonitis; we’ve had to make the hard decision to not offer holiday calendars this year.
The amount of effort over a short period is just not safe for me to attempt this year. Hopefully next year I’ll be up for it.
Thank you for understanding and hope to see you at Ottawa ComicCon.
Éric Desmarais, JenEric Coffee’s Head Roaster and Taste Tester
Today we’re talking about the 2022 film Lightyear.
Story
This was a great concept. A movie about the real Buzz Lightyear. The character is the basis for the toy in Toy Story.
Unfortunately, there are some issues with this sort of story. People are expecting a movie about the cartoonish and silly character. This means that people who only care about Toy Story might be turned off by the science-fiction elements, while people who love science-fiction might be turned off by the the association with Toy Story.
That being said, this is an excellent adventure / science-fiction film with influence and nods to so many other great films.
Score: 1
Characters
The character of Buzz is only changed a little from the toy; his silliness is toned down, but he’s still brash, overconfident, and single-minded.
The rest of the cast, although not as fleshed out, are fun and have rewarding story arcs.
Score: 1
Dialogue
There are plenty of references to both Toy Story and classic Sci-Fi. With so much reference material, it could easily have been a quote fest that left people feeling like they missed something. The writers did a great job balancing the quotes and the original story. To a point that they’re great for those that know, but pass over other’s heads.
Score: 1
Visuals and Music
I was in awe of the space scenes, and pretty much all the animation. Pixar ups their quality with every movie and I love it. Beyond the animation, the cinematography is fantastic and references so many other great movies. The shot of Zurg’s ship rising from the floor was just like Vader’s in A New Hope, the airlocks look just like those of 2001: A Space Odyssey, there were plenty of others too.
The music was epic and had just the right balance to be remarkable but not overpower the action.
Score: 1
Fun
The fun you get from this is definitely influenced by your expectations. If you’re expecting the tone and feel of Toy Story, you’ll be disappointed. I went in expecting cheesy sci-fi and was surprised by how much fun it was.
My five and three year old both loved it and sat through the whole thing without complaining. The rest of the family seemed to really love it too.
Score: 1
Overall
The movie is a retro sci-fi with all the best parts from the movies of the genre in the 70’s, 80’s, and 90’s. It’s delightfully littered with Pixar and Sci-fi references and has a fun and heartwarming story.
Final Score: 5* Stars out of 5
*A 5 star review doesn’t mean the movie was perfect nor that it is perfect for everyone but it is a movie I believe is as close to perfect as possible.
I decided to try to record a blog post and that way I don’t have to worry about typing long blog posts; so today will be all about my health issues and how I’m doing.
But effectively in June, I started having massive arm pain in this part of the arm and this part of the arm, on both sides, and my doctor diagnosed me with tendonitis and possible carpal tunnel. I was scheduled to go to do some more tests for carpal tunnel specifically; I just got those last week and good news: I don’t need surgery!
It looks like I don’t have any issues with carpal tunnel; the carpal tunnel specialist said that he thought maybe there was something muscular.
My physio, which I’m seeing three times a week, is helping a lot.
She’s a godsend.
She thinks it has something to do with my ulnar nerve.
Basically, all this is telling you more tests, more time.
Meanwhile, I’ve been following the proper procedures and filling out workman’s compensation forms.
Oh my gosh!
Filling out forms when you have tendonitis hurts. Pencils, typing…
Thank heavens for Jen.
If it wasn’t for her, I would be having a lot of trouble right now.
Beyond that, I am doing better.
It’s been a month and a little bit and it’s no longer a burning, sharp pain.
It’s now a burning ache, and if I don’t do too much, which means not going on my phone.
too much, not typing too much, not cooking too much, not changing too many diapers, that kind of thing, I’m OK. It hurts, but I’m…
The problem gets when I’m trying to do something.
So at the end of July I didn’t want to break my own rules and fail on the serial story, so I typed 1000 words over three or four nights and it was hard.
I’m not going to be able to go back to my 3 to 5000 words a week that I used to do, and that makes me really, really sad.
Hopefully with Physio, by the end of August, I’ll be able to do a little bit more, but until I know for sure what’s going on, I don’t know.
I’m also really nervous about going back to work and doing document formatting, which basically means I’m doing short keys and mouse clicks for anywhere from 4 to 8 hours a day.
And yeah, that doesn’t sound like much fun right now.
My doctor has me going back on September 1st.
I’m hoping that I’ll be OK to do that.
I’m hoping my work will be OK with giving me a little bit more leeway in getting my stuff done. I have no idea what’s going to happen and it’s kind of scary.
Right now, I am concentrating on the things that I can control.
Those being slowly, carefully, roasting coffee for Ottawa Comic Con. It’s going to be the first convention, that’s going to be in September, the first convention that we actually get to sell at since COVID started and I’m terrified.
Not only because I’ve heard so many stories of people getting sick at Montreal Comic Con and other conventions, but also because I have no idea if roasting and preparing for a month… Like, so much stock is going to be sold, or if we’re going to leave with a negative… I’m just hoping to make back our table.
That’s my basic goal.
We’ll see; and I guess my other big goal is not to get sick. On that front, Pegasus has gotten his first shot at the end of July. We’re hoping to get the next one by the end of August, early September, so that he’s covered when we go to Comic Con.
He’s not coming with us, but if we’re going to bring anything back, which is always a possibility, I don’t want him to catch this thing after 2 1/2 years! Gah.
So back to the health stuff.
My doctor gets back on Tuesday, which is tomorrow when you guys are watching this, and hopefully he’ll have some sort of diagnosis for me or another series of tests, which I have a feeling I’m going to be doing a lot of those in the future, which sucks.
And I really miss typing.
It’s my stress relief. Even like just basic typing is my stress relief.
I was really enjoying the stress relief of playing ukulele, but I… I’ve barely touched it.
Although I did dust, literally dust, the ukulele the other day just because it looked sad.
All that to say that I am nervous but I’m getting better and I am trying to prepare for Comic Con, so hopefully my doctor will be able to fix things, and my physio will help me fix things and I can get back to writing novels.
I had fun looking for pictures that made me think of the book Assassins! Accidental Matchmakers.
And I thought, why not share it with you?
Mood board of Assassins! Accidental Matchmakers. Pictures of a black motorcycle, a stargate from Stargate SG1, a metal pineapple, a cottage, a street sign indicating Westmeath is to the right, a fun-looking mushroom, a stuffed bear, two croissants and a coffee, and a dessert pizza surround the front cover of the book, art by pinkpiggy93, layout by Nathan and Mackenzie.
Summary
Kennedy Fairfield just graduated in the class of 2002, and is now trying to find her purpose in life, or at least a job in her field. When she saves Jason Johnson, the leader of a secret Community of supernatural people called Aetherborn, from an attempted assassination, they embark on a whirlwind epic romance and adventure.
For Kennedy and Jason to discover why people are disappearing in time to save her friends, they’ll have to face teleporting assassins, grumpy wizards, gossiping hags, mafia robots, and secret military groups, all in the city of Westmeath, Ontario, which has more secrets than residents.
The first book of four in The Gates of Westmeath series.
This is my favourite of the three. It feels like a good old-fashioned slasher with an added supernatural twist. The framing narrative of the other movies doesn’t intrude as much.
Score: 1
Characters
The younger versions of the characters from the first movie were perfectly cast. The surreal feeling of the trilogy shines here.
Score: 1
Dialogue
Definitely felt off, but not as bad as 1994. I found despite the supernatural elements, the dialogue was delivered pretty well.
Score: 1
Visuals and Music
This felt oddly undersaturated compared to the other two. I liked the predominance of red in the caverns though.
The music was a lot of fun and felt like a nod to Supernatural.
Score: 0.5
Fun
I liked this one a lot. It was exciting and fun. I enjoyed the camp hijinks and the off-kilter world.
Score: 1
Overall
The strongest of the trilogy, it could stand on its own. The characters are fun and I love the mixture of lore, supernatural, and good old-fashioned slasher.
I had fun looking for pictures that made me think of the main male protagonist of Assassins! Accidental Matchmakers, Jason Johnson.
And I thought, why not share it with you?
Jason Johnson mood board. Pictures of a black domino mask, a black figure in a martial arts pose, a black and silver motorcycle, a hungry man’s breakfast, a Hawaiian pizza, a black suit and tie, and a raw peridot as a pendant on a necklace all surround two images of Jason, one in profile and one as The Phantom, drawn by pinkpiggy93.
Jason Johnson
Age: 25
Date of Birth: November 8, 1976
Appearance: Shaggy dark hair, hazel eyes, tall, golden brown skin
Job: Owner and operator of a pizza restaurant The Hawaiian. Head of the Oldtown Council. Aka the Westmeath Phantom, a vigilante with the power to manipulate and control shadows
Parents: Hammond and Monique Johnson, deceased.
Sibling: Younger sister Zoe is married to Gabrielle and they have one daughter Brooke (15 months old)
