The Emperor’s New Groove – JenEric Movie Review

How This Works – Read Other Reviews

Hello Cinephiles,

Today we’re talking about the 2000 film The Emperor’s New Groove.

Story

Irreverent to the point of absurd, this movie does a great job at setting up all its major plot points with clever jokes and gags. Simple plot that seems like unconnected gags at first, but ties everything together by the end.

Score: 1

Characters

I love these characters. Kuzco is a perfect jerk, Pacha is the sweetest, Yzma is great evil, and Kronk is utterly adorable. Each plays their part perfectly and I couldn’t imagine anyone else playing the roles.

That being said, it’s a bunch of white people playing South Americans (with the exception of the kids and the fantastic Eartha Kitt.) The movie is quite clearly supposed to be set in a fictional version of the Incan Empire, but that’s only set dressing and doesn’t mean anything.

Score: 0.5

Dialogue

The dialogue in this is burned into my subconscious and speech patterns. The jokes are so expertly crafted that even after having seen this hundreds of times, I still laugh.

Score: 1

Visuals and Music

The detail in the animation and the background jokes are excellent. It’s pretty and very well animated.

They got Tom Jones and Sting to do songs for this. If I had a complaint, it’s that a few times the music was a little generic turn of the millennium Disney. But that still means it was excellent.

Score: 1

Fun

We waited a little to let my oldest start to understand the wordplay and it was worth it; she giggled throughout. I laughed a lot, as did the rest of the family. This is just a fun movie.

Score: 1

Overall

A classic comedy that relies as much on word play as it does physical gags. It has aged impressively well and is tightly scripted.

I loved this movie when it came out and still do.

Final Score: 4.5 Stars out of 5

Mid-Year Review of Éric’s 2022 New Year’s Resolutions

Hello my Imaginary Friends,

It’s been an exciting six months and by that, I mean blarg. I still find it disturbing how much of the world is convinced the pandemic is over. Hopefully soon, we’ll see a vaccine for infants approved in Canada. Then I will feel much better, but I still am going to continue to be careful. It will be a while before I give up my mask.

Anyway, let’s see how I’m doing with my resolutions!

Writing

1. Write a monthly serial story (Succeeding)

The hardest part about this year’s serial story is not writing ahead. Currently, as of this writing, dealing with carpal tunnel, that might not be a problem. Read from the beginning of the Aetherverse.

2. Write Guise and Dolls Faymous with Jen (Success)

This went famously (haha). I loved writing this story and I’m glad that it’s now vacated that part of my brain that it’s been occupying for the past decade. Unfortunately, a spin-off series has decided to move in.

3. Finish Copper Tarnish (Pending)

Pending health, I have no idea how this is going to go. Hopefully I’ll be able to finish it, but if not, I’m not going to risk injuring myself worse over it.

4. Write book 3 of The Gates of Westmeath with Jen (Pending)

Unlike Copper Tarnish, this book starts from scratch/random jot notes, and won’t need heavy line-editing before I start, so I should be able to do this one with dictation software. I hope.

5. Keep Working on FADDS (Succeeding)

I created an entire ridiculously complex module for mixing components that was just way too much. So, I remade it in a simpler way and it seems to be working really well. I’m continuing to tweak and add more monsters as I go. Mostly, I’m just having fun with the system and my players.

JenEric Designs and Coffee

6. Ensure 5+ days of updates (Succeeding)

You may be sensing a theme, but depending on health issues, we may be dropping to four days a week, but not yet, and I don’t know. So we’ll see.

7. Write a movie review each week (Succeeding)

So far, so good. I might need to create a template to copy-paste to make my life easier.

8. Design and release a new flavour and redesign Green Apple (Pending)

Ottawa ComicCon is happening in September. This one will depend on how my health is. It’s not the highest priority; that will be roasting and packing ComicCon levels of coffee.

Personal

9. Read 5 Books (Pending)

Other than books that I’ve written or that Jen wrote, I’m a little behind on this. As in, halfway through the first book. But for some reason, I forsee having more chances to read (if Jen will let me).

10. Be More Patient (shrug)

Honestly, I have no idea how I’m doing on this one. I do know that I’m a terrible injured/sick person. Feeling like I’m letting people down makes me grumpy.

11. Don’t over stress (Failing)

I have developed tools to help me de-stress. Playing ukulele, reading, writing, playing video games, and cooking. The only one of those that I can currently do without hurting myself is reading. Let’s hope this dictation software works and doesn’t add to the stress.

My work is also irrationally pushing a return to the office and that’s still causing lots of stress with an unvaccinated toddler. HURRY THE F UP, HEALTH CANADA!

12. Practice bass or ukulele 2-3 times a week (Failing)

I was doing well with this. I even memorized the Spider-man theme on the bass and wrote a song for the ukulele. Unfortunately, I won’t be able to do this for a while.


The good news, I haven’t utterly failed at anything yet and I have a few Successes.

I’m going to take that as a positive and just do what I can for the rest of the year.

How are your resolutions going?

Éric

Canada Day 2022

Today on the day of Canada’s confederation, let us remember that we are on stolen land. Ottawa sits on un-ceded Algonquin Anishinabe land. We are guests here and should act accordingly. Last year, we cancelled Canada Day due to 250+ children discovered in mass-graves on residential school grounds. That number is so much higher now.

This is not acceptable and we need to do better! Write your MP and MPPs and see what they’re doing about clean drinking water, quality of life, and colonial racist policies that unfairly target Indigenous people.

Stay safe and be kind,

Éric

Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness – JenEric Movie Review

How This Works – Read Other Reviews

Hello Cinephiles,

Today we’re talking about the 2022 film Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness.

Story

The story relies on the trope that women are irrational and incapable of seeing reason when it comes to their children. It heavily implies that women are weak-minded and easily corrupted.

Beyond that, it’s a paper-thin plot that barely holds together the action scenes.

Score: 0

Characters

With the emotional depth of an 8 year old, the main characters do everything that makes you want to scream at the screen… which I did several times.

I liked Wong, and when she was allowed to do anything, America was pretty cool.

The only reason this movie had any charisma is because of the calibre of the actors.

Score: 0

Dialogue

Trite, repetitive, and borderline nonsensical. The film’s dialogue lacks depth or purpose.

Score: 0

Visuals and Music

Wow, this movie was pretty. The fights scenes are expertly done, if a little gruesome, the scenery fantastic, and the effects brilliant.

The absolute best part of the movie is the music. Danny Elfman shows that he’s still one of the best composers in film.

Score: 1

Fun

I was ambivalent to Scarlet Witch until WandaVision and that show really did a great job at developing her character. Unfortunately, none of that depth or heart was in this movie. She was a cartoon Karen turned monster.

There were some amazing action scenes and some of the secondary characters were fun. I look forward to seeing America Chavez written by someone else.

Score: 0.5

Overall

The superhero genre has matured a lot in since the early aughts, I can’t say the same of Sam Raimi’s portrayal of them. The movie lacks any understanding of human emotions to the point of being condescending. The music and action scenes redeem it a little, but it’s one of the worst MCU films.

Final score: 1.5 Stars out of 5

Birth of the Aetherverse – Chapter 6 (Serial Story)


Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12


Chapter 6: The Fall of Atlantis and a New Friend

If you’ve never seen the armies of Fay marching, you’re lucky. I was on their side and it was terrifying. We march in perfect unison with one bagpipe, drum, or trumpet per soldier. The sound is hauntingly beautiful, emphasis on hauntingly.

When the Fay marched on Atlantis, we were a united realm of several billion. Our army outnumbered the Atlanteans who were left a hundred to one. 

Even one platoon of Fay soldiers is as deadly as any human army before the twentieth century. The only advantage the Atlanteans had was the ability to wield worked metal and that didn’t help them. They’d grown dependent on their magic, which was impressive, but nothing compared to that of my brother and sister.

Those that were attacking us fled and I was able to catch my breath. It wasn’t long before I saw a group of soldiers marching toward us and realized we were still dressed in Atlantean garb. A wave of my hand and both Randi and I were in Fay clothing that befit a lord and lady of Fay.

The Fay soldiers hesitated and then turned towards a group of Atlantean mages attempting to activate the smaller gates. They succeeded and disappeared, but the soldiers followed them.

“You were talking about leaving?” I said. I was still holding the magical gem that had powered the large gate. I could feel its will. It wanted nothing more than to reconnect with its gate. The power it held was equivalent to me and my siblings. I wondered why it hadn’t become a person like we had. Since that time, I have learned that there were a total of four gems that weren’t transformed into people, each powerful enough to create a realm.

The one I held and the Gem of Chaos had created Earth and its universe. The Aetheria Crystal started creating Everworld, and the last was the Stone of Albion. 

“Yes. I think we should leave before this realm goes to sleep.” It’s not possible to completely destroy a realm as long as someone remembers them. The realm goes to sleep until it’s forgotten or reclaimed.

I took her hand and tried to send us to Earth. The gem had other plans. It diverted my spell into the Aether and next to the gate. I tried again and we were back on the plains of Atlantis.

“The gem isn’t going to let me move us. I’m not sure what to do,” I said and looked at Randi pleadingly. She didn’t get a chance to answer before a scream of agony overpowered the fighting and war instruments.

Melchior was standing on a pile of Atlanteans and held another’s head in his hands. I watched as the magic flowed out of the screamer and Melchior tossed them into the pile. He was draining their magic and souls.

A shiver of fear ran through me. There was something wrong with that man and it terrified me.

“The gates,” Randi suggested. “Toss one to earth and then use another to create a bridge.”

It was a great idea and I went one step further, tossing all the smaller gates to Earth, spreading them across that world. I left one gate in Atlantis as I saw a great wave of water heading toward us. The Atlanteans had decided to drown their world rather than let the Fay destroy it.

I activated the last gate and we jumped through. The contrast was jarring. We’d left a war-torn realm filled with sound and pain, and we’d arrived on an island where the loudest thing was birdsong and the ocean gently lapping at the shore.

“Are you gods?” asked a large, muscled man who was shirtless and adorned with impressive tattoos. 

“We are lords of Fay. My name is Robin, this is Randi.”

The man bowed and replied, “I am Noa, Chief of this island.”

Telepathically, Randi said, We need to destroy that gem.

We can’t, I replied. It’s too powerful. We need to break it into pieces and scatter those across the realms.

I took the crystal and started ripping pieces apart. It took less energy the smaller the crystal became. “I’ve sent all the pieces to different parts of the Earth and Albion. Everworld is already too unstable.”

“Why don’t you throw a piece into the stars?” Noa suggested. 

In Fay, the land is the universe; there’s a sun, but no solar system in the same sense as Earth. I’d forgotten that there was a vast universe. I threw a large piece of the gem as far as I possibly could. There was no way humans would get to it.

The last sliver I handed to Noa. “Keep this safe,” I told him. Sometimes you just need to follow your instincts about a person, and something was telling me that Noa was a good man.

“I will do my best, but I’m only a humble chief.” There was a sparkle in his eyes as he spoke.

A doorway opened and two Atlantean wizards stepped through. They looked angry. When they saw me, they screamed, “You stole our gates and gem!”

“Is this true?” Noa asked.

“Well, there was a war and the gem was too powerful to keep in one place. So yes, but they were about to be wiped out of existence anyway.”

“If we’d unleashed the Lost Realms and the Mulciber, your Fay armies would have been destroyed,” the wizard replied.

“I might not know of all these otherworldly things, but I’ve never heard of unleashing anything turning out well. Things are on leashes for a reason.” Noa shrugged.

“We weren’t talking to you, human! This is between Atlanteans and Fay. You should stay out of it or you’ll regret it.” The wizard smirked and turned back to me.

I was going to say something very witty, once I thought of it, but Noa interjected softly, “There’s just one problem with that.”

“What?” demanded the other wizard.

“You’re on my people’s island.”

The wizard’s laughter was cut off when the ocean itself rose up like a big hand and swatted them off the island.

Noa chuckled and asked, “So how does this thing work?” pointing at the gate. I explained to him that his crystal couldn’t open it to any other gate unless it was close, but that I could if he wanted. “Wonderful. Please open it to the coldest place it’ll go.”

I did so and Noa stepped into the shade of a palm tree, disappearing.

He reappeared under the same tree, holding the two wizards as if he’d travelled by shadow and water. “These two need to cool off.” They looked tiny next to him, being neither muscled or anywhere near his height. He tossed them through the gate and I closed it.

“That was fun,” he said with a big grin. “Now you two have done what you’ve set out to do. You seem like you attract or create trouble. Please leave.”

I shook my head in disbelief and replied, “Absolutely. Your assistance was appreciated.”

That was the first time I met an Aetherborn, a person created by the chaos of magic and human imagination. 

“I like him,” said Randi.

“Me too,” I replied.

Read Chapter 7


While you wait for the next chapter, check out the previous serial stories:


Carpal Tunnel Syndrome and Stress

***TL:DR I have Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. Posts will be shorter and I might be doing some repeats. Guest Posts appreciated.***

Hello,

I’ve been a fool. Since February, my work has been fairly busy and regular. It’s a lot of short keys, typing, and mouse work. I’ve been having pain in my hands for a while now.

I wrote about it for the Spoonie Author’s Network. At the time, the Doctor thought it was the same arthritis that was in my big toes. After a year of tests he eliminated that option. We thought it was maybe tendinitis and he sent me to physio.

My prescription for physio was written in February 2020. I didn’t make it. I didn’t want to risk getting my children sick and was experiencing long covid. A few weeks turned into a few months and then a few years.

The pain came and went, but was usually worse when my hands were cold. So I didn’t worry. I kept thinking, “I’ll see my doctor about it when the pandemic is over.”

Fast forward to last November and I noticed my arms getting numb when I slept. (I sleep on my sides and it was the ones that I didn’t sleep on that went numb.) The pain got worse around Christmas, but got better after 2 weeks off.

Then we went into report season at work and I started writing a new book. So my days looked like this: Work 8 hours, Ukulele practice 15-45 minutes, and then 1-2 hours writing, formatting, etc. I’m also the primary diaper changer in the family… so… yeah.

The pain got worse and worse and I just kept thinking, “I’ll see my doctor about it when the pandemic is over.” and, “It’ll get better when I have less clicky work.”

Then Monday, I was told by my bosses that I had to come into the physical building of work. The meeting was tense and I won’t lie, I felt attacked. We’re so close to an infant vaccine for Pegasus… I asked if I could wait until September and they refused. “Isolating is a choice we made. Coming in to work is my responsibility.” That’s a paraphrase, but arg. I’m still angry.

I’m not sure what I did during that meeting to myself, but after, my pain in my arms and hands went from a 5 (Interrupts some activities) to 8 (Hard to do anything) the pain has been fluctuating from 6-8 since.

I made an appointment with my doctor, but he couldn’t see me until a week later. I was in tears as I tried to figure out what to do. I eventually decided to go to the after-hours clinic and saw a wonderful doctor. He diagnosed me with confidence after asking some insightful questions. He gave me two weeks off work, tests for my family doctor, and a prescription for splints to sleep with. Now it’s a waiting game. I’m seeing my doctor next week and so far, after 3-4 days, I’m still in a lot of pain. This post is taking forever to write, but I’m taking lots of breaks.

I’m worried that my reticence to see the doctor will result in permanent damage. It shouldn’t have taken a level 8 pain or my bosses showing how little they care about me to make me listen to my body and get help. The moment the pain started to increase, I should have made appointments.

I didn’t want to let my family down, I didn’t want to let myself down, and I didn’t want to let my work down. It was foolish! Work doesn’t care about me, they never really have, family only want me to be healthy, and I’m more disappointed now than if I had been treated earlier.

Expect this blog to have shorter posts (this took most of a day with breaks). I’ll let you know what happens.

At least I’m getting a lot of snuggles.

Stay safe and be kind,

Éric

The Parent Trap (1961) – JenEric Movie Review

How This Works – Read Other Reviews

Hello Cinephiles,

Today we’re talking about the 1961 film The Parent Trap.

Story

The transitions between parts of the movie were a little choppy and uneven, but the story was solid. It had the right amount of twists and turns. I’m not sure if some of it is cliché or if it’s just had a huge influence on YA films afterwards. It’s definitely a product of it’s time with some casual racism and sexism.

Score: 0.5

Characters

I really enjoyed the side characters, the grandfather was awesome and so was the cook. I thought the mother and father were a little annoying, but hilarious. I was impressed with how Hayley Mills had different body language, mannerisms, and movements for each of her characters. It was always obvious which was which.

Score: 1

Dialogue

A lot of the slang in this is antiquated to the point that it took me some time to understand what it meant. It’s not unintelligible, but it was an adjustment.

The movie is quite witty and has a lot of fun lines.

Score: 0.5

Visuals and Music

The movie’s green screen is uncomfortable, but other than that, the movie is extremely well done. The split screen and body double work is impressive.

The music is good, especially the opening theme.

Score: 1

Fun

The 5yo didn’t want to watch it at first, but loved it pretty quickly. I had never seen it and it was a fun movie that made me smile. For my wife and mother-in-law it was a nostalgic return. We all had fun.

Score: 1

Overall

Mildly dated with some pacing issues, but overall a very fun and funny movie. The acting from Mills is excellent and the attention to detail is great. Definitely earns its place as a Disney classic.

Final Score: 4 Stars out of 5

Vote for Dragon and Jen

Hello Friends,

It’s time to vote for the Aurora awards. You get books just for being a member. Go to https://prixaurorawards.ca/ and click on the “Become a Member” button. Once you’ve paid, you’ll be able to vote. Don’t forget to download your voters package.

PLEASE consider voting for Dragon and Jen, who have been nominated for their amazing work on How I Taught my Dragon: Kindergarten education through genre media.

Effectively, it’s a guide (and results) for parents to use films as a jumping off point for kindergarten education, each week a new film with activities and learning sheets designed around the film’s themes and content.

It was designed with the Ontario Curriculum in mind and to supplement our daughter’s 1 day a week of online school. It could easily be scaled up to be a full home school, or down to simply add some extras for parents who keep their kids home.

What she did over 10 months is spectacular, both as a tool for other parents, and as a journey with Dragon.

Please check out the blog and consider voting for it in the the Aurora Awards category of Best Fan Related Work. Dragon is included as an author because her writing is included on the blog as part of the results.

Thank you in advance,

Éric

10+ Books for $10 (Aurora Awards Voter Package)

Hello My Imaginary Friends,

I’ve talked about the Aurora Awards before.

Now all the nominating is over and it’s time for people to read the nominees and vote for their favourite.

Here’s a list of the nominated works

If you sign up for the Canadian Science Fiction & Fantasy Association and pay $10, you’ll have access to most of the nominated works. That’s 10+ novels, collections, short stories, and more. The voters package will be available until voting closes on July 23rd.

What are the Aurora Awards?

aurora

The Aurora Awards are awards “for excellence in Science Fiction and Fantasy works and activities.” They are administered by the Canadian Science Fiction and Fantasy Association.

It’s a fan-voted award in the vein of the Hugo’s, but with way more awesome people.

In Conclusion

Sign up, get ebooks, read, and then vote for your favourites. It’s a great deal and you’ll love the books.

So go to https://prixaurorawards.ca/ and click on the “Become a Member” button.

Stay safe and be kind,

Éric

Tomb Raider (2018) – JenEric Movie Review

How This Works – Read Other Reviews

Hello Cinephiles,

Today we’re talking about the 2018 film Tomb Raider.

Story

I haven’t played the games, but I assume there are some common elements from the stills and trailers I’ve seen. The story isn’t what I expected; I expected a puzzle archaeology movie and got an action movie.

All that being said, the story was pretty good. I wish they’d spent less time with the island action scenes and more with the tomb or puzzles.

My major issues is that it started action / intrigue and the tone switched to horror action once it reached the island. That would work for a book or TV show, but for a movie it felt disjointed.

Score: 0.5

Characters

I have to give credit to the actress because we learn almost nothing about Lara the entire movie other than she’s smart, gets back up, and is very curious. Any urge by the audience to care about the character is due to the charisma the actress brings to it.

The bad guy was perfectly cartoonish and the dad was okay. I liked the captain.

The CEO of of Croft Corp reminded me of Nina Sharp in Fringe played by Blair Brown.

Score: 1

Dialogue

Not super quippy, but very well paced. There’s a lot of mythology and they space it out really well. I also liked that the few puzzles that Lara solves are thought out in dialogue.

Score: 1

Visuals and Music

Everything in this movie was stunning. Filming was amazing, lighting spectacular, and action just wonderful.

The music was intense and well composed. There were a few times that it was a little early for the scene, which didn’t work for me.

Score: 0.5

Fun

I loved every moment of it, but I regret watching it with the kids. It was a little scarier and more violent than they should be watching. However, that’s on me.

My wife liked it, but found it a little exhausting.

Score: 1

Overall

A roller coaster from start to finish. The tone goes from action to horror, but the cinematography is spectacular. A fun action movie with lots of thrills.

Score: 4 Stars out of 5