Alas, Fourteen Years is Far too Short a Time…

Dear family, friends, and fans;

Roughly seventeen and a half years ago I met a geeky girl online ,and after chatting for a few weeks we decided to go on a date. It was awkward. I was late and talking about a girl I liked in my classes. She disappeared in the bookstore we started in. I asked her to help me pick a grad photo. She talked about her exes and how she wasn’t sure it was over.

Despite all that, we talked about everything and anything. We shared banana cake and I walked her home. We kissed in the cold outside her house for way longer than was appropriate and a few weeks later we decided to be exclusive.

It wasn’t an easy start and I’m surprised we survived that first year. I’m very insecure (I have RSD) and it felt like we came from two very different worlds. The only thing that really saved us was that we talked about everything.

We’ve been married now fourteen years and we’ve both been through a lot, both good and bad. I really think it’s our quantity of communication that has saved our relationship. We might not have always been talking about the things we should have, but we were still talking. Sometimes until way too late at night

Jen is my wife, my best friend, and the best business/writing partner I could ask for.

To paraphrase Bilbo Baggins, (in words not spirit) “Alas, fourteen years is far too short a time to live among such an excellent and admirable wife.”

I know that if we keep talking, we’ll be able to enjoy each other for a long time to come. Even if we don’t get much sleep.

I love you Jen!

Dear Dragon and Pegasus – Your Mum

Dear Dragon and Pegasus,

As of this writing, it’s been exactly 4,950 days since I met your mother. On Wednesday, it’ll be our 13.5 year dating anniversary and our 10th wedding anniversary.

By the time you read this, you’ll probably think we’ve been together forever. Sometimes I feel that way too. It’s hard to imagine my life without her.

The two of us have been through a lot together. She’s helped me through some of the toughest parts of my life. To you, she’s just your Mum, but I don’t think you’ll ever understand how much she loves you. (I’m not sure she does either.)

If there’s one thing you have to know about your Mum, it’s that she’s always thinking of your best interests. (Well maybe not always, but in all the big things.) She wants you to be happy.

She’s not perfect; she’ll get completely sucked into a game or story. She can get overwhelmed and get grumpy. She’s WAY too hard on herself about almost anything. But no matter what, she will drop anything for family, friends, and especially you; to listen and support.

She throws herself body, heart, soul, into her relationships. Because of that, she leaves herself open to being hurt, but so often she makes amazing friends. She sees the best in everyone and loves everyone.

If you reach out to her, she will always be ready with a hug, an attentive ear, and a kind word.

There’s a lot in this world that’s scary, a lot that is bad, and even more that’s sad. Count yourself lucky that you have a Mum that will hug you and be there for you when you need her. The world can’t be all that bad when it has someone so open and willing to love.

She’s my favourite person, my best friend, and by far the best part of me. Remember to take care of her the way she will always take care of you.

Your loved Papa

P.S. She gives great hugs.

Facebook Quiz Thing – My Better Half & Me

Hello Imaginary Friends,

Still no Dragon sightings. I’m starting to think she’s going to wait to be induced.

I’m doing my best to relax and hang out with Jen as much as possible while we wait.

Tuesday no matter what you’ll get a great new story but today you get a sappy facebook quiz thing.

Later Days,

Éric

images

My Better Half & Me

1. What are your nicknames?

I call her Pumpkin and she calls me Teddy Bear. (We also use sweetie, baby, and hey you)

2. How long have you been together?

11 years in December

3. How long did you know each other before you started dating?

We met on our first date and started going steady after a few weeks

4. Who asked who out?

I clicked “Woo” on her profile thinking it was the equivalent to “Like” on facebook but instead it sent her a message. She replied with something along the lines of, “You’ll need more than a woo if you want to chat.”

I think I’m the first one to suggest a date.

5. Whose siblings do you see the most?

We see Lindsay the most. Dan is really busy; and Derek and Jessica are far away.

6. Do you have any children together?

Not yet… any moment now.

7. What about pets?

Nope. I’m allergic.

8. Did you go to the same school?

Only for University and even then she was in different faculties.

9. Who is the most sensitive?

We’re both pretty sensitive. I’m not sure.

10. Where do you eat out most as a couple?

Does our in-laws house count?

If not it’s definitely Asian Stars. Such good food.

11. Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?

Florida. Unless you count our yearly trips to Middle Earth.

12. Who has the craziest exes?

No comment. (It’s probably me.)

13. Who has the worst temper?

We both have pretty intense tempers. Thankfully we both burn off our anger quickly.

14. Who does the cooking?

Me. I love to cook and Jen loves to let me.

15. Who is more social?

I think she’s more social. I’m sort of standoffish. I’m always in awe of her in a group, she can make friends anywhere.

16. Who is the most stubborn?

Jen’s a little more stubborn but not by much.

17. Who hogs the bed?

We have a king sized bed so that neither of us try to hog it.

18. Who wakes up earlier?

Pre-pregnancy it was always me. Work on weekdays and reading on weekends.

19. Where was your first date?

We met at the Rideau Centre and went to Chapters where she ignored me for a while. Followed by the Highlander pub and ending at Oh So Good desserts.

I walked her home that night.

20. Do you get flowers often?

No. They die too quickly.

21. How long did it take to get serious?

A few weeks.

22. Who eats more?

Me.

23. Who sings better?

Jen has a beautiful voice.

24. Who does the laundry?

We alternate, depending on when we run out of underwear.

25. Who’s better with the computer?

If we’re talking tech, it’s me. If we’re talking typing and social media, it’s Jen.

26. Who drives when you are together?

Jen. I don’t have my licence.

27. Who picks where you eat?

Normally I give Jen 3 options and she picks one.

28. Who wears the pants?

We both do.

29. Who has the better sense of humor?

Jen laughs at my jokes so neither…

30. Who eats more sweets?

We both love our baked goods and sweets.

Natural Marriage Vs Same-Sex Marriage

Hello My Imaginary Friends,

In case you’ve missed the news, on June 26th, 2015 the Supreme Court of the United States voted to legalize same-sex marriages. What this means is simple, State and City governments must recognize same-sex marriages in the same way they recognize opposite-sex marriages. The Canadian government started recognizing same-sex marriage in 2005.

Some people seem to think that this is a terrible thing and that it means the government is meddling in people’s personal lives. This ruling actually does the opposite, telling the government to get out of deciding who people can marry.

Natural Marriage

A family member posted a video on facebook that argues that the only form of Marriage should be Natural Marriage. This seems to be a bastardization of Roman Catholic Canon Law which says Natural Marriage, “The matrimonial covenant, by which a man and a woman establish between themselves a partnership of the whole of life and which is ordered by its nature to the good of the spouses and the procreation and education of offspring, […]” Source – Vatican Website

The video makes no references to Roman Catholic laws but uses this definition. The video is here but I’ll summarize:

Marriage is for the perpetuation and stabilization of our society.

It argues that the government has three roles when it comes to behaviour; Promote Permit or Prohibit. In this argument they say that the government is now promoting same-sex marriage, which is a detriment to society. It also states that these are facts based off of nature and society not biology.

It says that Natural Marriage:

  1. “Creates Children;
  2. Best Raises Children;
  3. Protects Women;
  4. Civilizes Men;
  5. Lowers crime, poverty and welfare – which reduces the government spending and deficits, still for crime defense check over here to find legal resources for this.
  6. Marriage is rooted in the biological facts of nature.”

It then goes on to say that everyone, even those that don’t get married, benefit from Natural Marriage because it stabilizes society.

This is should seem antiquated to you if not offensive. Number one is so ridiculous that even the above stated canon law makes exceptions for those that are sterile. It does however have clauses about consummation (AKA you have to try to get pregnant even if you can’t AKA SEX). They say later in the video that sterile marriage is ok because it’s the exception.

The next one is stupid plenty of well-respected and good people have been raised by same-sex couples, single parents, orphanage, foster parents, Etc. (As a certified Bastard raised by a single mother, I take offence at this one.)

Three, Four, and Five boil down to, “Boys will be boys. Best make sure you have one to protect you.” Assuming that the base instincts of man are to rape, pillage, slaughter, and cause mayhem; effectively gives men permission to do it. It’s an attitude that needs to change if we’re ever going to live in a society that isn’t dominated with fear.

It then states that Same-Sex marriage doesn’t have any benefits and that it’s detrimental to society because unlike Natural Marriage it concentrates on validating a relationship instead of bringing children to be law abiding citizens. According to them Natural Marriage “provides the best possible family for children and if we alter the definition of marriage the losers with be the children”. Blarg… Bullshit total bullshit. As long as a child is raised by at least one loving parental figure they’re fine. Statistically their chances of a good life are more affected by money than anything else.

How Same-Sex Marriage is Promoted

“Schools subject your children to mandatory curricula.” Duh and good. Ignoring something won’t make it go away. Let’s give our children all the information they need for life. I don’t see how this can be bad.

“Your business and taxes fund homosexual relationships.” Yup, they’ll get the same tax breaks you do. Meaning they’ll want to stay in your country and spend that money to stimulate your economy.

“Your freedom of speech is gagged.” BULLSHIT! You have the right to say whatever the hell you want but you do not have the freedom to avoid the consequences of your speech. Freedom of Speech means the government cannot prosecute you for saying something. (Threats of violence and true hate speech are not covered.)

That means I can go up to the owner of a local coffee shop and tell them they are a bIHnuch devoid of all honour, but it doesn’t mean they have to listen to me. They can throw me out on my ass. The same goes for your bosses. Being fired, kicked out, shamed, or slapped for saying something doesn’t impinge on your Freedom of Speech.

“Your religious freedom is overruled.” You have the right to practise your religion if it doesn’t harm others. That’s all that Religious Freedom means. It doesn’t mean you have to right to tell people what to do. NO ONE is asking religious institutions to marry same-sex couples. This argument is like saying you have the right to walk on the sidewalk and then getting angry when someone else wants to walk on it.

Both the US and Canada have a separation of church and state which means that Religious Freedoms applies to everyone. If the Jewish faith started trying to pass laws against pork products because people eating them impinges on their religious freedoms, wouldn’t everyone think that was silly?

“The government has no compelling interest in legally promoting same-sex marriage.” The government’s number one priority should be the benefit of its people; not certain people, ALL it’s people. If you want to pander to the, “Think about the children!” mentality, then consider that on average Same-Sex couples adopt. Which means all those kids without parents can be paired with all those couples without. That seems like a pretty compelling reason. Also, in the US, same-sex couples are better educated and make more money.

The video goes on to say that it isn’t being biased against homosexuals and that by not allowing same-sex marriage they’re not discriminating against homosexuals but homosexual behaviour. Sounds kinda like what they said to Allan Turing.

They end with the lovely tagline of, “That’s not Bigotry, that’s biology.”

So if you haven’t guessed I think this video is full of shit. It shows no real reason to be against Same-Sex Marriage other than the usual fear and bigotry disguised as pseudo-science and sociology.

If you truly believe that Same-Sex Marriage hurts you personally than maybe you should look to your faith for an answer. Almost every faith has a version of the Golden Rule here are a few:

“Therefore whatever you desire for men to do to you, you shall also do to them; for this is the law and the prophets.” Mattew 7:12, New Testament

“What is hateful to you, do not do to your fellow: this is the whole Torah; the rest is the explanation; go and learn.” Shabbath foli: 31a, Babylonian Talmud

“None of you [truly] believes until he wishes for his brother what he wishes for himself.” An-Nawawi’s Forty Hadith 13 (p. 56)[63]

“Putting oneself in the place of another, one should not kill nor cause another to kill.” Buddha (Siddhartha Gautama, c. 623 – c. 543 BC)

“Beware lest ye harm any soul, or make any heart to sorrow; lest ye wound any man with your words, be he known to you or a stranger, be he friend or foe.” `Abdu’l-Bahá[43]

I hope you have a Love filled day,

Éric