Rejection is Hard to Take

Hello Friends, Family, and Fans,

In June, I got a rejection for The Copper Tarnish. I worked on that book on and off for almost seven years before submitting it. It’s one of my more raw books and reflects a lot of my feelings of wanting and not being accepted.

The whole book is an exploration of the small town obsession with uniformity. I use a parasitic (zombie-ish) infection as a metaphor for how far people will go to insist others fit their mould. There’s also an alien princess, sapphic romance, and some intense crossovers from other stories.

I’m proud of this book. I thought, when submitting, that it was the most layered of my stories, all wrapped in a 50’s style monster movie.

I requested feedback on the rejection, and despite the reply being very kind, it was obvious that they disliked the book.

I am absolutely NOT upset at the people who criticized or those who rejected me.

I want to be. I want to be indignant, I want to rage, I want to say they don’t understand my genius.

However, if I’m being honest, I’m just upset because I was rejected, because I’d hoped to release a book every year for 10 years in a row, and mostly because I failed.

The rejection was such a surprise and the criticism so broad that it’s thrown me through a loop. Between RSD and imposter syndrome, I’m finding it hard not to overthink everything I write. Unfortunately, that makes writing extra hard and me extra sensitive.

I just finished a chapter of Fanatics! Inevitable Honeymoon Crashers, and despite being excited about what I wrote, I keep feeling like I’m not doing a good enough job. I feel like the quality difference between my writing and Jen’s is starting to show more. (She’s damn good and only getting better.)

That’s one of the downsides of co-writing; the pressure to be as good as your co-writer, and feeling like they’d be better off on their own.

I’m not looking for any advice or reassurance. I just need to start building up my confidence again. I know I have strengths in my writing and I need to concentrate on those and work on my flaws.

As for The Copper Tarnish, it’s currently with a beta reader and based on their comments, I might send it to more beta readers, re-write it completely, or put it in my “I wrote this but don’t think I should publish it” folder with Cerulean Sky and Dinosaur Road Trip.

Part of me wants to give up but I know that I can’t. Writing is like breathing. I’m not sure I can live without it.

Stay safe and be kind,

Éric

I’m scared but I have hope

Hello Friends, Family, and Fans,

I’m back at work today, Dragon goes back to school, and life restarts after an extended break.

As I write this, I just finished reading the comments section on a Facebook post from Ottawa Public Health. I see in the comments a combination of anger and fear that is extremely familiar. Those that aren’t fake are people trying to come to terms with a world that seems to be falling apart. I understand the anger, I understand the frustration, and I understand the helplessness.

Unfortunately, we are in the golden age of cults. Yes, cults. From Dictionary.com, “An instance of great veneration of a person, ideal, or thing, especially as manifested by a body of admirers”.

Cults used to need to isolate and cut people off from their support systems in order to take advantage of them. In our curated digital world, it’s easy to find oneself isolated into specific communities with extreme ideas. My tik-tok is heavily queer, neurodivergent, writerly, and ttrpg based with a smattering of food and nutrition. I doubt that’s others’ experiences.

What this means is that we’re seeing more polarization and more us-vs-them and a lot more confusion. When everyone around you says the same thing and suddenly others are saying differently, it’s jarring and a little scary.

It’s a form of Cognitive Dissonance. That gut instinct of “am I wrong?” followed by either doubling down on your beliefs or challenging them. Unfortunately, there’s a lot more doubling down, especially when you are scared.

Basically, what I’m saying is that social media is a grade school rumour mill taken to the extreme. What that means for humanity is still to be decided.

No matter how hard it is to see, there is hope. Change is slow, social change doubly so. But every generation pushes it further. For every cult leader out there, there are people working to debunk their lies. For every 10-50 hate-filled comment, there are real people sharing their truths.

Hope in and of itself is powerful, with hope we can find the good. Without it we are lost.

What we can do is hard and doesn’t always work, but we can be kind. We can help those in need. We can tell the stories that need to be told. We can defend those who need it. And most of all, we can question everything.

That’s enough rambling from me.

Be kind and stay safe,

Éric

Frustration, Sadness, and Anger

Dear Imaginary Friends,

I was going to make this a Dear Dragon but what I have to say is for you.

As I’m typing, I’m vibrating with anger. I’m going to structure this into three parts to avoid it devolving into a curse filled rant.

Background (This isn’t new)

South of the border, or in Canada’s Pants, we’ve been seeing increasing acts of violence and hate. The Google Manifesto and the atrocious events in Virginia are only the newest in a long line of hateful, vile, putrescent evil. However they’re not new. Nor are they worse than what we’ve seen.

Two years ago just as many horrifying things were happening, but the political climate, news, and public were less informed. It was still happening, it was just as horrific, and it was just as open.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m extremely happy that these things are being noticed and people are speaking out about them, but they are not new. It might have gotten worse, but it’s not new.

Canadians: wipe that smug smile off your faces. We have all the same issues here as they do in the states. Just look into some of our CPC candidates and you’ll get the idea that maybe we aren’t as progressive as we think. We have as much hatred and racism here. Expect the white nationalists, nazis, white supremacists, anti-minority, and canadian values crowds to start protesting more and more openly.

Don’t believe me? Ask a minority or look up the debate on Bill C-16 that extended basic human rights to Transgender people.

The Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms or shut the hell up about Free Speech

Calling for the mass killing of an entire demographic of people is not Free Speech. It is Hate Speech. NO ONE has the right to spew hate.

Unfortunately, yelling and saying that one kind of person is better than another isn’t hate speech.

Free Speech means you can’t be prosecuted for your opinion. It controls what the government can and will do in response to what you say. It doesn’t protect you from your employer, friends, family, or media’s judgement. Eg; You can say nasty things about a subset of people in the comments of this post and the government won’t arrest you. I, however, can delete the comment or send it to your mother.

Your Rights and Freedoms should only extend to the point where they infringe on someone else’s health and safety.

MAY3886-770x581

You’re human beings, start acting like it!

This is for all those who agree with Trump, Kellie Leitch, and Pauline Marois; that some people are better than others.

Ignorance is not an excuse for hatred! Get the fuck over yourselves and start trying to understand how your problems are of your own making and all people are the same.

It is our responsibility to help our fellow humans and to stop hate when we see it.

Be better, act better, and stop others when they aren’t.

Éric