Taking time off while in lockdown is odd. I took two days off cause I was feeling a little frayed and poor work paid for it. Came back to 50+ emails. Poor boss that had to cover for me.
My days consist of watching Pegasus while working and doing house stuff. On breaks, I’ll try to write or edit. It’s exhausting.
My two days off were pretty much a writing marathon trying to get chapter 15 of The Untitled Mystery Book Project finished. It was in my head and I needed to get it out.
Unfortunately, I also crashed physically. Full migraine, nausea, aches, and weakness. It’s like I just needed to get that chapter out and then my body said, “You’re not going to rest unless I force you.” So the weekend was painful. I hate migraines, I lost all peripheral vision on my left side for two days and every time the kids shrieked, I just saw red-ish static.
I’m feeling better today and the time off was restful, but taking time off with the kids home and lockdown going on is hard. At least I didn’t have a full social calendar.
It’s also why I forgot to prepare a post for today until just now.
All said and done, what you should take from this is that with me finishing chapter 15 and Jen finishing 16 we’re at 16/26, which is 2 chapters away from the end of the second act and that means we’re 2/3’s done. YAY.
Writing with Jen has been awesome, but that’s another post.
I’m working on a new writing project and it seems to have taken over a large portion of my brain. In order to free up my brainspace I’ve been trying to write. Not easy with all my other responsibilities but I’ll make it work.
It’s really exciting and a little different then what I normally do, but so far it’s great.
Now I really need to go finish the last hundred or so words of this chapter.
Have this cute picture of Dragon building Maleficent the Snowperson.
I’m struggling this week. I know most of us are struggling right now. In my part of the world, we’re in the second wave and I’m not sure people understand what that means.
Bucket
Pegasus is not good at having his sleep cycle disturbed. Last Friday we slept in and didn’t wake him early enough and he refused to nap, then he fell asleep playing (twice) and I was up until 2am with him for the next two nights. We’re just now getting his schedule back in order.
Work has also been super busy and stressful. Report season in fall and spring has stressed me out for over a decade. I should honestly be better at it by now. With the season change comes a new set of allergies and a huge uptick in the pain in my hands.
So I’m feeling like I have a bucket for stress and my bucket is starting to flow over. I’ve started feeling overwhelmed. This morning I got an email and I couldn’t process it. It just went in one ear and out the other. I’ll get back to it later today and try again.
My way of dealing with new stress this week.
Trapped
The stress, the pandemic, politics, pain, allergies, and not-sleeping have me feeling trapped. Not by my life, not by my house, and certainly not my family. I feel trapped in a need to be productive. I’m missing having days were I don’t have to do anything. Where I can wake up and just do whatever I want. Six years ago I decided I wanted to try and roast coffee. I binge watched Gilmore Girls and made buttons. I haven’t had one of those days in a while. It’s part of getting older and having more responsibilities, along with being limited in what I can do because of the pandemic. As the kids get older and don’t need naps, and there’s a vaccine, I’ll be able to just spontaneously decide to take a day off and go to a museum or to a park with them, that’ll be nice.
Grief
My mom’s mother died when my mom was 5. Every chance we got we’d come to Ottawa to visit my grandmother’s siblings that acted like grandparents. I found out that the last of that generation passed away on Monday at 85.
My last phone call with her she sounded tired but hopeful. Because of health issues and the pandemic, she never met Pegasus but met Dragon a few times. She was a fantastic painter, wonderful hugger, terrible cook, and lovely person. I’m going to miss her.
Hope
My bucket is full but I’ll scoop it out, or drink from it, or something… (this metaphor seems to be getting away from me.) The point is, I’ll be okay. The nights will start freezing away the allergens, the weather with stabilize as much as it ever does, work will become less hectic, the stress will abate. It’s just a matter of dealing with it and taking deep breaths.
I have toddler, child, and wife hugs to keep me going, coffee to roast, and more pumpkin things to bake.
I’m writing this Monday early in the morning. Pegasus refused to nap and then fell asleep at 8pm. He woke up at 9pm and hasn’t shown any indication of fatigue yet… It’s now 2am.
Pegasus tried to write this post since he doesn’t speak yet, writing proved difficult.
I’ve been home since June 2019 and the day to day routine of family, house, freelance, etc. haven’t lent themselves to writing much. Now since March I’ve also been working from home for my day job and things haven’t improved on that front. I’ve managed to write the serial stories and a little bit in two novels.
Me trying to write when only 1 of the kids is awake.
More and more it’s looking like I’m not going to make my self-imposed deadline of September for the next Elizabeth book. This will probably mean I’ll break my yearly publishing streak. I have a contract for 2021 but no book for 2022 and I’m pretty sure if I don’t submit a novel by end of year my publisher will be out of release spots (if they aren’t already).
It feels like failure. I hate how much I’m struggling. I’m not struggling with the story or the writing, but with finding time to write. It takes me a little while to get into the zone and I can’t stand writing for only 15 minutes. I have to find a way to give myself the time. As the pandemic becomes normal and we start homeschooling, I’m hoping I’ll find a spot in my busy schedule.
I’m not looking for advice, just wanted to complain. I know it’s a common problem with us writer types and despite the voice yelling at me to give up and that its proof I suck, I’ll get back to it. I always do. Writing is part of me and I love doing it; I’d do it even if I couldn’t publish. I just have to remember that and find the time to enjoy doing it.
If you’d like to lift my spirits please feel free to order one of my books from the publisher, your favourite ebook store, or my website.
If you want to make me giddy with happiness leave a review on those sites and Goodreads.
Thank you for all your support and I hope your creative juices flow… well that sounded dirty.
You’ve been around for just over 6 months and you’ve been a great baby. You love to sleep (except this past week), you eat well, and you are the smiliest child ever.
I’m amazed at how long you are willing to play by yourself (mostly) and by how alert and resourceful you are.
You’re moments away from crawling and that sometimes frustrates you or makes you fall on your face. It’s adorable and a little funny.
The past week you’ve thrown your sleep schedule out the window and decided anything goes. A few nights you refused to sleep before 3 in the morning. It was hard, especially that your sister had a cold/flu thing and really needed the sleep.
I’m sorry for having been a little less than patient. It never lasts because you turn that darling smile on me and I melt.
Before you were born I was worried that I didn’t have room to love you as much as I love your sister. I was very wrong.
So the toddler Dragon got a post-con cold last week and I have been fighting off the same thing on top of one of the worst cases of Con fatigue I’ve ever had.
I’m not complaining; the past two events we’ve done were fantastic and I truly appreciate all the kind words and awesomeness that is our business.
I just want a very long nap…
The world is an exhausting place but watching Dragon’s excitement when I unpacked the Christmas stuff last night was wonderful.
Some mornings I wake up thinking about all the things I have to do and I panic. I lay in bed and stare at the ceiling paralyzed. I’m not afraid of work, or working a lot. I’m terrified of forgetting something.
Since September, I’ve increased the amount of things I do and I’m not just talking about taking care of a baby Dragon. I’ve written a few more short stories, added a few more jobs, laid out more books, and roasted more coffee than ever before.
I’m extremely lucky both in the quality of my clients and that I had this wonderful opportunity to watch my child grow up right before my eyes. That said, other than a week at Disney that was a lot of fun but not relaxing, I took a few days to myself after Christmas.
I’m starting to feel like butter spread over too much bread. I know my limits, and with my parental leave quickly running out, I need some time to recharge.
If you don’t force yourself to take some time off from doing all the little things that stress you out, you’re never going to get the chance.
So I’m taking next week, the 15-19 of May, off to relax, watch some TV, and play some video games. Hopeful the weather will be nice and I can take the Dragon to the park. No plans, no big obligations, just me, my wife, and baby Dragon.
After that week, I have to start preparing for my return to work, and I’ll have 3 books to work on, along with more conventions.
I’ve been sick since Sunday. It’s a typical spring cold with coughing, sore throat, stuffy nose, aches, pains, and a total inability to think. It has effectively rendered me useless all week beyond eating, sleeping, and Dragon wrangling.
Speaking of Dragon, she’s been sick about the same amount of time. Add that to her teething, we’re at 5 and can feel the 6th, and no one is getting much sleep. Jen also got sick as of Tuesday.
With my severe allergies, spring until early July is a really bad time for me.
Long story short I have a lot of work that I should have done this week that wasn’t done.
WARNING BLOG HIJACKED BY DRAGON
lkk gfcdcdvrfggsdq3easxc
Sorry about that. I should get back to cuddling the sick little Dragon.
Call me ridiculous, but I hate this time of year. June is one of the worst times for my allergies and the tail end of convention season. Put it all together and it leaves me feeling drained and lethargic.
I’ve had a supremely good 2016 so far and I’m not complaining, but if you see me and I look a little haggard or gruff it’s not you.
I’m sure you’re all wondering what’s going on in both my and Jen’s lives right now. So it’s update time.
Blush
Last I heard, the boxes had arrived and they were working on the extra questions for the game. I’m really proud of my wife and I can’t wait to see this game in person.
Writing
A Study in Aether
The final set of edits are done and we’re waiting on the lazy-no-good-layout-artist (me) to finish the layout before it gets double checked.
The big release party will be in October.
Parasomnia
The book has been accepted by the publisher but needs a lot of work. We probably won’t start work on it until fall.
Everdome
I’m midway through finishing the epilogue for Everdome. Then I’ll put it away for a while before trying to edit it.
Coffee
I’m currently struggling with a way to expand our production and reach. I have developed a new flavour, but more on that on Thursday.
FADDS
My role playing system has been playtested a lot in the past year. I’ve had a group of very patient and awesome gamers. The current playtest ends this month. I’ll then need to do a large edit of the document before getting it ready for submission.
Baby Dragon
Everything seems great with Baby Dragon. She’s growing and kicking (a lot). We’re sorting through all the amazing stuff people have given us. (Seriously our friends and family are the best!)
We’ll start truly planning her room in July.
I’m both excited to meet her and nervous at the same time.
