Finally Finished Something

Hello Readers,

Last year, before my pain became too worrisome, Jen and I wrote a book called Faymous. While writing it, we added a character who showed up in flashbacks. The further along we went, the sillier her actions became, each of us adding every flashback.

The idea was that I’d write a short story at the end that would explain everything that had happened with the character, but then pain and worry about hurting myself got in the way.

I wrote it slowly, 200-500 words a session, writing 15 minutes here and there.

I was told by my occupational therapist that I could write a little more as long as I took breaks and listened to my pain levels.

So after ten months and almost 7000 words, I finally finished the story. It’s called New Year’s Eve… on repeat, and it’s another time loop, because I apparently like the challenge.

It was fun to pull together all the threads that we’d randomly spread through the novel.

We’ve received three very nice rejections for Faymous. That means I have no idea when it’ll be published, but I’ll let you know.

We are looking for beta readers. If you’re interested, let us know!

Thank you for reading,

Éric

New Feature

Hello Friends and Fans,

Look the your right (down if you’re on mobile)… not that far… there we go. The thing that says, “Get Posts in your Email” is exactly what it says on the box.

We’re still working out some kinks, but you’ll get our posts each day in your email without having to worry about finding them.

Enjoy!

Éric

But I’m a Cheerleader – JenEric Movie Review

How This Works – Read Other Reviews

Hello Cinephiles,

Today we’re talking about the 1999 film But I’m a Cheerleader.

Story

This is definitely a dark comedy. It manages to highlight the absurdity of these sorts of camps while still capturing the horror of them. I have no experience with conversion therapy, but I’m thankful this leaned into the emotions and contradictions and not the psychological torture.

The message of choosing to be yourself instead of miserable is well done and sad at the same time.

Score: 1

Characters

The characters are extremely well-built stereotypes and that feeds the story.

The fact that the camp staff were all repressed made them both more human and sadder.

I’m not sure if it’s because I wasn’t part of the LGBT community in 1999 (being bisexual in a small town meant it was easier for me to hide) or because of the writing, but there were a few characters that I just didn’t understand.

Score: 0.5

Dialogue

The dialogue vacillated from pseudo-intellectual drivel to deep and loving. Seeing the contrast between the two made everything feel even more surreal.

Score: 1

Visuals and Music

The visuals weren’t flashy, but the thought behind them was impressive. The repressed camp leader spending her evening cleaning flowers, the overcompensation of the colour scheme, the Sapphic curtains, and the large quantity of spandex/pleather add to the hypocrisy of the camp.

The songs had a 1950’s feel to it while being quite subversive. The rest of the score leaned heavily into the songs and it worked really well.

Score: 1

Fun

It was fun to see the lesbian and gay characters being portrayed as both the heroes and the more stable characters. I appreciated the bit at the end with the parents joining the support group, giving us a little hope.

I watched it with my wife only and I’m glad. It’s a little dark for a 3 and 6 year old.

It was hard to watch the pain and anguish these poor people went through at the hands of a society that wants them to hide who they are. Even in a watered-down level of hate with a lot of dark humour, it’s still very much on the nose.

It reminded me of all the times I was with people in university and heard someone say, “Bisexuals don’t exist, they’re just gay people who are scared or straight people who want attention.” Every time I heard it, I sank further into myself, and that’s just a fraction of what others experienced.

Score: 0.5

Overall

The movie pokes as much fun at the lesbian and gay stereotypes as it does the bigots who refuse to understand. It’s dark and raw and painful all at once. However, there’s a certain joy and hope in the message of being yourself and the importance of found family.

Final Score: 4 Stars out of 5

Nominate us for the Auroras please!

Hello family, fans, people who randomly read this blog, and friends (both real and imaginary),

The Aurora Awards, which are for Canadian science fiction and fantasy writers and artists, are open for nominations! This means the LONG lists of eligible works are being narrowed down to 5-6 per category.

Once they have a list of nominated works, every single person who signed up and paid the $10 membership fee gets ALL the nominated works as downloads. That’s all the adult novels, YA novels, novellas, short stories, graphic novels, and related works (usually anthologies), so about 36 works, for just $10 CAD, which is a great deal.

Getting nominated for an Aurora Award is a BIG DEAL in the writing community. You get a nomination pin (only once, so I’m terrified I’ll lose mine!), and you’re part of an elite group of people.

How do you nominate?

  1. Go to this website
  2. Join, pay membership fee
  3. Nominate up to 5 works per category

It would mean a lot to us if you’re willing to nominate us! (Categories are in alphabetical order by work)

  • Category 1 – Best Novel
    • Assassins! Accidental Matchmakers by Jen and Éric Desmarais
  • Category 3 – Best Novelette/Novella
    • Birth of the Aetherverse by Éric Desmarais
  • Category 4 – Best Short Story
    • Ringing In The New Year by Jen Desmarais
    • Choose Your Own Adventure – Welcome to Westmeath by Jen Desmarais
  • Category 7 – Best Related Work
    • Nothing Without Us Too by Cait Gordon and Talia C. Johnson (Jen has a short story Semper Ubi Sub Ubi in this one!)
  • Category 9 – Best Fan Writing/Publication
    • JenEric Movie Reviews by Éric Desmarais
    • The Travelling TARDIS by Jennifer Desmarais

In case you’re wondering why Assassins! Accidental Matchmakers is not included in the best cover art category, it’s because our cover artist is Vietnamese! Only Canadian creators are eligible, unfortunately.

Thank you so much for your time, attention, and support!

Jen and Éric

The Mummy (1999) – JenEric Movie Review

How This Works – Read Other Reviews

Hello Cinephiles,

Today we’re talking about the 1999 film The Mummy.

Story

A very loose remake of the 1932 movie with Boris Karloff. Its story, although very similar in spirit, is very different.

I liked the symmetry and the balance of horror and humour.

Score: 1

Characters

It’s rare to have two “scaredy” characters in the same movie but they did a great job in deferentiating them. I like the Indiana Jones-style character and the love story was fun. I like the confidence and strength that Evelyn gains through the movie.

Score: 1

Dialogue

The dialogue is impressively funny for such a serious movie. I like the banter between the main characters and between the siblings.

Score: 1

Visuals and Music

What a beautiful movie. The cinematagraphy was stunning while still obviously influenced by classic horror and adventure movies. The CGI looked a little dated, but there wasn’t that much.

The music was beautiful and fit perfectly. I want the soundtrack for my D&D games.

Score: 1

Fun

Seeing the influence of older movies on this one and then the influence this had on future films is so cool. I saw it in theatres when it first came out and loved it, but I appreciated its details more now.

My six year old was nervous throughout, but the three year old loved it. Jen found it scary, but fun (it was her first time watching it).

Fun and exciting for the whole family.

Score: 1

Overall

A classic action adventure with a touch of horror and romance. The characters are great and the movie is absolutely beautiful. A must-watch for anyone who loves archeology or action adventure movies.

Final Score: 5 Stars out of 5*


*A 5 star review doesn’t mean the movie was perfect nor that it is perfect for everyone but it is a movie I believe is as close to perfect as possible.

The Suns of War – Chapter 2 (Serial Story)

Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12


Chapter 2: War of Words

“Wow. That is quite the statement,” Nessa scratched behind her furry ears to show disinterest and continued mockingly, “You can join us in our holy mission to rid the universe of the heretic stars, or you can die in a vain display of obduracy.

Aria the Sun Speaker looked surprised. “Are you mocking me?”

“A little,” Nessa admitted before saying, “I’m guessing you’re young. If you were a martian, I’d say early twenties. You don’t have much experience interrogating prisoners. You are relying on the size of your fleet and whatever your title is supposed to mean to intimidate me. Unfortunately for you, I don’t know what a Sun Speaker is, or a heretic star, and I’m an officer of the Martian space fleet. We don’t scare easily.”

The woman visibly deflated and seemed completely taken aback. “You don’t have Sun Speakers in this galaxy? Why can’t I read you?”

The prisoner answered truthfully, “No, and maybe because we’re different species.” A lot of graduates from the Martian academy think that lying to the enemy is the best choice. That wasn’t Nessa’s philosophy; instead she chose to not lie. It was a strategic choice, not a moral one. An enemy can lie to themselves better than anyone else. Give them just enough information and let their bias do the rest.

“A Sun Speaker is the voice of a sun. Each sun is a god and bestows upon its Sun Speakers the ability to see the future, harness its power, and lead its armies. It’s our holy mission to cleanse the universe of heretic suns.”

“So your people still worship sun gods? And you’re going around collapsing other suns?” This all sounded like rantings of a religious fanatic. Martians had a few that called themselves Earthers and worshipped the ancestors that came from Earth, but that was about it. Martians loved war above all else.

“You sound like you don’t believe in gods? Are your people so naive to think stars give life for no reason? We are their children.”

Boy, this woman is chatty, thought Nessa. Maybe I can get her to give me more information on Arthur. “If your all powerful god knows everything then why don’t you know more about the Myrddin or Arthur?”

“The Myrddin are a scourge. They are unclaimed by any sun and they can not be predicted. We have been at war with them for over a hundred years. They are searching for the reincarnation of their king, Arthur, who was a powerful Sun Speaker for a heretic sun.” 

That was easy. “Who decides what suns are heretics? And does every sun have a god in it?”

Looking delighted to talk, Aria said, “Yes, all suns have gods, but most are sleeping. The more people, the more awake the god becomes. The council of gods is headed by the Black-Sun. He is the oldest and most important god.”

“So they talk to each other?” Nessa asked.

“Enough questions. Will you join us?”

Taking a deep breath, Nessa said, “I am loyal to the United Martian Empire and would never join your sun cult.”

“I should kill you for that, but I can’t see your future or your past. You need to be tested.” She walked away as she spoke, almost as if she was talking to herself.

Nessa shouted, “I hope it’s math or history, I’m rubbish at literature analysis.”

She was expecting this testing to happen quickly, but it seemed they didn’t think she was a threat because they left her alone and she paced. There was nothing in her cell that could help her escape. The walls were plain, metal, smooth, and the forcefield keeping her in might as well have been a wall. She could see the opposite wall and that’s it. No sound penetrated the wall and she found herself missing the porthole in her old cell.

She fell asleep on the floor despite fighting it and woke up to two men standing over her. “I didn’t ask for a wakeup call.” They didn’t respond and gestured with nasty looking blades. She took the hint and followed one of the guards while the other stayed behind her. 

Their posture was relaxed and she knew that unless they had some extra strength or special powers, she could take their weapons and escape. The only problem being in a massive ship in the middle of a massive fleet, with no home to go to.

The tests turned out to not be academic, but medical. She was strapped to an upright bed and they took blood and waved things in her general direction. She was certain Doctor Peri would be able to tell her all about the tests. She missed her crewmate. 

“Are you done poking and prodding me?” asked a scruffy voice in Aresian.

She waited a few moments and replied, “I think it’s either shift change or they didn’t want to move us.”

“Bah. I don’t like being leashed,” the voice replied.

“I guess they captured some of you too. Is your homeworld still intact?” she asked. It was strange talking casually to anyone while being tied up and even stranger having such a casual conversion with her lifelong enemy.

“Ares Prime and the entire solar system has been reduced to rubble. And they had the arrogance to ask me to join them. Bah!” 

“They asked me too. It seems that we only have the choice to join them or die. They say they’re following the order of a god.” She was laying it on thick in case someone was listening.

“Hades to their ultimatum. I’m going to break out and make them understand what real war means. Are you with me, Martian?”

She smiled showing her sharp teeth and said, “First we need to escape and steal a ship, and I know exactly which one.”

Read Chapter 3


While you wait for the next chapter, check out the previous serial stories:

La Princesse and the Wailing Ghost  – Heroes, Legends, Fairies, and other Absurdities

The other day Dragon asked me to tell her a story that I made up. It’s the first time she’s asked in almost 2 years. I made up a quick story and she liked it. When she asked again, I took the opportunity to try and bring back La Princesse.


In a realm of magic, in a time of heroes; there lived Princesse. She lived in a large castle with her mum, the Queen, and her papa, the King.

She loved everything; adventure, myth, and magic. One day, she hoped to become a wizard. She also loved spooky stories and was reading one before bed.

The story was fun and sent shivers of excitement and fear up and down her spine. She turned off her light and closed her eyes.

A horrible wailing noise filled her room. It didn’t last long but she was so scared, she didn’t fall asleep until early the next morning.

The lack of sleep meant she was extra tired the next day, but she convinced herself that it was just the wind.

The second night the wailing happened at the exact same time and she was again too scared to go to sleep. She imagined all sorts of spirits, wraiths, and ghouls that could be hiding in the castle. She didn’t sleep at all that night.

When she fell asleep in her soup at lunch, her papa asked her what was wrong. She could tell he was trying really hard not to laugh.

“I keep hearing a sound like someone crying at night.”

He said maybe it was the wind, her imagination, or maybe she was dreaming. He offered to put a guard at her door or for her to sleep in their room, but she said no.

On the third night, she was struck by sympathy for whatever was crying and with frustration, she decided to find out what was making the noise.

She put on her housecoat and slippers before leaving her room and following the sound. It was coming from behind a large painting of her great-grandfather. She saw that there were curtains on either side of it and when she looked behind it, there was a passageway.

In large castles and some mansions, there are often hidden passages for servants and guards to move unseen and quickly. This was one of them and the sound was coming out of a large pipe that opened behind the painting and went along the wall.

The Princesse was so absorbed in following the pipe that she almost tripped on a younger girl, not much older than herself, who was sitting on some steps and crying. The other end of the pipe was over her head.

“Hello, are you okay?” she asked the crying girl.

“Yes,” she said glumly and then noticed who she was talking to and stood up. “Princesse, what are you doing here?”

“I followed this pipe from near my room. It was causing your crying to sound like a ghost.”

The girl turned bright red and looked directly at the Princesse. The girl’s eyes were purple. “I’m sorry. I’ve just been really sad. It’s been a year since I came here and you and your family have been very kind, giving me a job and a place to stay, but I miss my parents.”

“Where are your parents?” The Princesse tried to sound calming the way her papa did when he was trying to calm a horse.

“My home was in danger and they sent me here. They were supposed to follow me, but they never did.”

“I’m sorry.” it sounded hollow to her own ears, so the Princess gave the girl a hug.

“Thank you and I’m sorry I woke you up. I’m Meagan.”

“Nice to meet you, Meagan. Next time you feel sad you can come see me and I’ll sit with you while you cry. Maybe we can have tea.” The Princesse liked the idea of having a friend inside the castle.

She quickly found that Meagan wasn’t like other people their age. She went to school, but she didn’t know the same books or plays and she didn’t treat the Princesse any differently.

That was nice. She was used to people being guarded because of who she was. They weren’t afraid of her or her parents, just overly formal and distant.

The two started having tea together before bed and telling each other ghost stories, and the Princess was never again woken by the wailing ghost.


Heroes, Legends, Fairies, and other Absurdities are the expanded versions of stories I’ve told my children at night before bed. They’re short, silly, and were completely improvised in the telling.

DC League of Super-Pets – JenEric Movie Review

How This Works – Read Other Reviews

Hello Cinephiles,

Today we’re talking about the 2022 film DC League of Super-Pets.

Story

A basic superhero meets animal adventure. The background of the characters is surprisingly touching and the story moves along at a great pace. There were at least two or three excellent surprises.

Score: 1

Characters

I’m not a huge fan of some of the voice actors, but the villain and the turtle made it awesome. Overall, the characters were nuanced and fun. One of the better DC movies when it comes to balanced characters.

Score: 1

Dialogue

The dialogue was all over the place. From some deep well thought-out to borderline incomprehensible lines.

Score: 0.5

Visuals and Music

The animation was good, but very basic compared to its modern counterparts, closer to DC’s animated kids shows then something Disney or Sony would put out. That being said, it was well framed and had some awesome colours.

The music was good. The score did what it needed and thankfully borrowed from other DC movies. The choice of songs was perfect for comedy and tone.

Score: 0.5

Fun

This was a fun movie for the whole family. The 3 year old was extremely upset we weren’t watching Paw Patrol (he didn’t know there was a difference since he’s only ever watched 1 episode), but after a few scenes he was hooked. The 6 year old loved it. The rest of us enjoyed it too.

Score: 1

Overall

This is a lighter take on the usually grim DC universe. The pets are likeable with excellent characters and great jokes. This is a superhero movie that reminds us what a great kids superhero movie can be. It’s young, but with lots of heart.

Final Score: 4 Stars out of 5

Yes, I’m still wearing a mask

Hello Readers,

My workplace has decided that masks are no longer needed in the workplace. They were previously only mandatory in shared locations and not in our cubicles (cubicles which had three-foot high walls and we share with 3 other people.)

The policy was announced on Tuesday and when I went into work on Thursday I was in an elevator with several other people. An older man leaned over to one of the others and stage whispered, “I guess we know who reads the office emails.”

From my experience, 1 in 10 people are still wearing masks and I expect that to lower significantly next week.

Although I fully understand the annoyance with masks and not wanting to wear them, I will continue to wear a mask for the foreseeable future. I’m not going to judge those who choose not to wear them.

I don’t like being sick. I have never liked it. I will never like it.

I caught COVID back in February 2020 and I’m still having trouble breathing and have low energy. It was one of the hardest weeks of my life. The week was bad enough, but I lost taste for a few months, had constant headaches, pain, and weakness for almost a year. I worry about what will happen to me if/when I get it again.

So, yes, I will wear my mask. It might not protect me completely, but it’s all I have.

Stay safe and be kind,

Éric